Getting nowhere

[Celticroots]

I feel like I am getting nowhere with the ways things are. Since California's disability services aren't up to par, I'll be moving back to my home state where services are much better. I had high hopes about moving to California, so I feel disappointed and discouraged that things didn't work out. I've been talking to God about my feelings, asking Him why things worked out the way they did.

It says in the Bible that you trust God and He will give you the desires of your heart. That He will answer prayers in His timing. But sometimes His answer is no. So I am having a hard time trusting God right now an am disappointed in Him. I want to have realistic expectations and faith that God will take care of me and that I can go to Him with my prayers.

I currently don't have a job at the moment because I don't have services, so I still live with my Mom, although me being independent is our goal. Or as independent as I can be with my disability.

No matter how often I talk to God or read/listen to my Bible, spend time with Him (actually spend time with Him in worship) I feel like things are going nowhere. Every time I try and turn to Him I get really anxious about everything going on right now.

Please don't say that I don't trust God. I do. I am just having a hard time right now.

 

[kpfru2]

Hey there! I struggle alot with anxiety and fretting about the future. But hear the word of instruction our Father gives in love. "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil." God will Himself help you with this.

I would reccomend a book called practice of the presence of God by brother lawrence. He was also a disabled man and yet was tremendously productive in more ways then one in his monastry.

I pray God sanctify us in the truth. I think thats the great need of the day.

Brother in Christ, Justin.

 

[Celticroots]

I am a girl. But I appreciate your reply. I'll look that book up. Thanks!

 

[michaelwriting]

I'm no expert, but I know that sometimes my will, plans, and desires do not always match with what God wills for my life. I often struggle and fight to get what I want, only to realize that I am sometimes fighting against the very thing that God wants for me. I can see this in a number of areas, with my marital situation, my kids, my career, my schooling, and other stuff. I've tried to 'make' things work out the way that I think they should be, not realizing when I am knocking my head against a door that God hasn't opened for me. God has recently been reminding me of the scripture to 'trust in the Lord with all your heart, and not lean to your own understanding'. But this is hard. It is a daily battle of what 'I' want and what 'I' can do (flesh) vs what God wants and what he can do (spirit).

It is a process of learning to surrender. Not my will, but thy will be done...every day. Easier said than done. But that is the struggle as I see it. My best to you in your current situation.