Getting Married While In College

[JustLiz87]

I have been dating my bf for 18 months now and we are planning on getting engaged soon. I am only a freshman in college, but he is out of college. We want to get married sooner rather than later and are planning, tentatively, getting married after my junior year. We are not officially engaged, but what do you all think of someone getting married while still in college especially if the other person has already graduated and has a steady job?

 

[Leanna]

I think it sounds great. A lot of people get married while still in college. We did. If I had it to go over again, I still wouldn't wait until after college. You just need a good plan and it sounds like you have one.

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I think the most important part of that is that someone has a steady job, and you said you had that covered. It may be tight, but depending on your future husband's job, you could go your senior year without having to work, or work a little bit to bring in spending money, or money to put towards paying off those school bills!
It sounds good, otherwise.

 

[livingondreams]

As long as you are able to support yourselves, I see no reason why getting married in college is a bad idea. I'm engaged to be married in late 2006, when I will be in the middle of my sophomore year of college. FH and I are deeply in love, have a Christ centered relationship, and want to serve God as man and wife, so we see no need to delay our marriage until we are out of college.

We are both currently saving as much money as we can. He has several thousand in the bank, and I have a few hundred that I will be adding to soon, and we hope to enter into our marriage as debt free as possible.

 

[Maeyken]

My fiance will have one year of his masters left when we get married. I graduated from school this past spring and I'm a nurse now! (yay!) Anyway, I'll have been working for a year by the time we're married. We won't have much savings, but that's alright. We'll definitely be able to manage if we're careful about it.

 

[KET20]

I would be careful about marrying so young if I were you, but that is just the way I was raised. My mom always warned me to wait until after college to get married. My parents were 25 when they got married (both out of college) and 30 and 35 when they had me and my little sister. Needless to say, I have always been told, the later, the better! Not only will you be more financially stable when you get out of college and start your career, but people change so much from the beginning of college to the end. This semester (my last) makes it four and a half years since I started college. I can tell you honestly that I wanted so much to spend the rest of my life with the person I was dating when I started college. Looking back, from my current perspective, I wouldn't marry that person if you paid me! I have changed so much since I was 17 or 18 and I don't want anywhere near the same things in a mate that I wanted then. There's alot about one's perspective that can change in those four years of college. You may well marry him and then come to find out a few years down the road that it's not what you want anymore. My $.02... be very very careful, and I'm sure that the two of you will make it work no matter what if you try!

 

[JustLiz87]

I know everything will be fine because God will provide. He has given my future husband a great, stable job that will provide enough money for us. I will also hopefully work part time. During my senior year, I wouldn't have to pay so much (basically room and board, which is 6400) because I would be living with him rather than in the dorms. Also, I have scholarships, so I don't pay that much to begin with. Basically until after I graduate and get a job, we won't have to deal with paying for college. We will only have to worry about us. I know this is the right thing to do and I am so excited about it. He just bought a house, so I know it will be awhile before he officially proposes (he has to save for a ring). But, I can't wait until that day. I'm just so happy to know that I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

 

[Singin4Him]

This sounds a lot like my situation. My husband and I got a little over a year ago, I'm in my junior year of college and my husband has already graduated and works full-time and is working on his Masters. Now our situation is a bit easier than some, we both get our school payed for because my husband is the senior web developer at the University we attend so that makes things much easier on us money wise. We also have money in savings when we got married and we have no debt at all. We also bought a brand new home when we got married so we're actually making money rather than living in an apartment and in a sensing throwing away money because there is no investment there.

You do need to realize being a newlywed and going to college is not easy, it can be a distraction such as when you want to spend time with your new hubby but you have a paper to write. At times it isn't easy juggling taking care of the house, doing homework, meeting hubby's needs, and taking some time to relax for yourself but it can be done. Make sure you weigh the pros and cons and be as realistic as you can because being a newlywed is no fairytale . It's great don't get me wrong, we've had a wonderful first year but it's not easy even as far as the adjustment to married life goes. The most important thing is to make sure you are in the Lord's will, if you are in His will He will provide and work everything out for you both.

 

[JustLiz87]

I would be careful about marrying so young if I were you, but that is just the way I was raised. My mom always warned me to wait until after college to get married. My parents were 25 when they got married (both out of college) and 30 and 35 when they had me and my little sister. Needless to say, I have always been told, the later, the better! Not only will you be more financially stable when you get out of college and start your career, but people change so much from the beginning of college to the end. This semester (my last) makes it four and a half years since I started college. I can tell you honestly that I wanted so much to spend the rest of my life with the person I was dating when I started college. Looking back, from my current perspective, I wouldn't marry that person if you paid me! I have changed so much since I was 17 or 18 and I don't want anywhere near the same things in a mate that I wanted then. There's alot about one's perspective that can change in those four years of college. You may well marry him and then come to find out a few years down the road that it's not what you want anymore. My $.02... be very very careful, and I'm sure that the two of you will make it work no matter what if you try!

I completely understand what you are saying. I have had this happen to me before. When I was 15, I went away to high school. I lived away from home and left my parents and my boyfriend. I thought I was going to marry him. I was a good catholic girl with a good catholic boyfriend and I was going to grow up and make catholic babies. Now look at me, we broke up because we grew apart and things were moving too fast. We no longer connected and I didn't feel like I was supposed to be with him. God was telling me to run. I found out he lied about being a virgin and even tried to cheat on me, but the girl didn't go for it. Now here I am, two years later, dating a great guy and God is giving me every sign to continue in this relationship. Through my boyfriend, I started attending a non-denominational church and discovered a part of my spiritual self that was lacking. This church has brough so much to my relationship with God and I am so blessed to have become a part of it. So, as you can see, even within 2 years of leaving home, I changed so much. Sure, I'm only 18, but I'm not new to the freedoms of college life. I have been away from home for 3 years and I have been in charge of my life for that long. I have already discovered so much about myself and who I want to be through my experiences at a residential high school. I know I can still change, but I feel that my bf and I are going to grow together in Christ. I wasn't planning on getting married before I graduated college, but things happen for a reason. I know I'm supposed to be with this man and the sooner I can make it happen the better. Yet we have to be financially ready to take on this challenge, so I'm not going to do anything drastic.

 

[KET20]

Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Go for it, girl!!!