Getting Married Sooner?

[reesechic21]

My boyfriend and I are both 21, we've been dating for a year and a half and have been talking about marriage for several months, but both of us have had the mentality of date to marry for years. I am currently a student at a university and have 3 more years of schooling (I'm going for my masters). My parents said they would pay for my schooling as long as I didn't get married, once I get married I would have to pay. At first we were both ok with waiting until I was done with school, but as months go by the desire to get married and the pressure of waiting is begining to challenge the original plan. We recently took a class for engaged/seriously dating couples. Each session covered a topic that every couple should go over prior to marriage, which would help couples decide if marriage was a step they needed to take or to break up, and they also gave us homework to complete together/separate. The class confirmed our desire to marry each other and helped us talk about everything that we need for our marriage. Here are the reasons why and why not. In the end we know that prayer and peace about our decision is the ultimate, but I wanted to get advice/guidence from godly people.

Reasons to get married

• Gain independence from parents
• Start our life together and begin to build a healthy and godly marriage
• Develop a better relationship with my parents
• Choose the church we want to go to and plug into community groups they have for our age group (Long story)
• Be able to become one physically, emotionally, and spiritually
• Not flee from sexual temptation anymore

Reasons not to get married

• Save ourselves from having debt in the future
• Save ourselves the pressure of making sure we'll be able to support ourselves every month
• Be obedient to parents
• The argument of: You have the rest of your lives to be together, why not wait just three more years

 

[iambren]

I don't agree with the practice of our culture to provide a college education. It seems to impede "growing up". Or at least a one-time education fund could be given and the son/daughter makes life's college choices.

Also, what business does a parent having the control (via money) over your life in your early to mid 20s! Of course I would like their counsel and blessing but when you become an adult you are no longer under their direct authority. This "control" process may even interfere with living a godly life that YOU answer for--eg sexually to remain pure it may be YOUR decision to wisely make.

I confess to a bias, at 18 I moved out of the home, worked fulltime, paid my own way through college(working as much as I could) and married at age 20. I wish you blessing on your journey as God directs your steps.

 

[The Nihilist]

Don't get married just so you can have sex. You'll be divorced in 3 years. Or miserable.