Getting married in the Church required to complete RCIA?

[G19shooter]

I'll try to keep this brief. My wife and I got married in city hall when both her and I were not Christian. Some time after we got married I started going to churches. Eventually I got Baptized in the Episcopal Church, but after some time felt like the truth was still out there. I found the truth in the Catholic Church. I am in RCIA hoping to complete the Sacraments of Penance, Confirmation, and Eucharist to become fully Catholic. That said, tonight, the RCIA director told me that before I could become fully Catholic, since I got married in city hall, I would have to also complete the Sacrament of Marriage and get married in the Catholic Church. She made it sound like I would not be able to go to Confession, Eucharist, and Confirmation until I first got married in the Church. Does this sound correct? I'll probably end up talking to a priest next week, I just thought I'd ask here as from what I have heard, sometimes lay people running the RCIA program can be misinformed. By the way, my wife has never been Baptized and is not a part of any faith.

 

[Michie]

Yes. But it's no big deal. I had to do the same. It took all of 5 minutes.

 

[G19shooter]

Okay thanks for the info. On a side note, when I made this account I put my faith as Anglican. I'd like to change it to Catholic...but can't remember how to do that...can you help me

 

[Gnarwhal]

I'll try to keep this brief. My wife and I got married in city hall when both her and I were not Christian. Some time after we got married I started going to churches. Eventually I got Baptized in the Episcopal Church, but after some time felt like the truth was still out there. I found the truth in the Catholic Church. I am in RCIA hoping to complete the Sacraments of Penance, Confirmation, and Eucharist to become fully Catholic. That said, tonight, the RCIA director told me that before I could become fully Catholic, since I got married in city hall, I would have to also complete the Sacrament of Marriage and get married in the Catholic Church. She made it sound like I would not be able to go to Confession, Eucharist, and Confirmation until I first got married in the Church. Does this sound correct? I'll probably end up talking to a priest next week, I just thought I'd ask here as from what I have heard, sometimes lay people running the RCIA program can be misinformed. By the way, my wife has never been Baptized and is not a part of any faith.

Congrats on your journey into the Church - that's exciting stuff.

I'm assuming you and your wife are both in RCIA, it wasn't really clear in the OP, but if your RCIA coordinator is telling you that you need to be married in the Church then she must be going through this with you, am I right?

I'm in RCIA as well, so I could be wrong, but I believe you guys would seek to receive a convalidation of your marriage. In the strictest sense, I think the Church considers civil marriages to be invalid (as well as non-Catholic religious weddings), in which case you would simply ask a priest for convalidation. Assuming this is the first/only marriage for both of you, then it shouldn't be a problem. If either of you have been married before then you would need to petition for an annulment.

Unless there's some kind of impediment to your marriage (like you were previously divorced) I don't see why they would stop you from receiving your first Sacraments. As I understand it, a person is only refused the Eucharist if they're divorced and remarried without an annulment, because the marriage is illicit. (Canon Law 1085 §1,2)

I hope I've understood this correctly and haven't misdirected you - definitely get 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinions on it.

I'm going through the annulment process myself so I've been looking into a bit of how the Church looks at marriage, but like I said, I'm only in RCIA like you so I don't have it down the way, say @Davidnic does.

It also couldn't hurt at all to clarify with your RCIA coordinator or your priest (or both).

Okay thanks for the info. On a side note, when I made this account I put my faith as Anglican. I'd like to change it to Catholic...but can't remember how to do that...can you help me

I believe you have to contact staff and ask them to switch it, but I might wait until you've been Confirmed. I've been asked before by folks to 'hold off' on switching my faith affiliation until it's official.

 

[G19shooter]

Congrats on your journey into the Church - that's exciting stuff.

I'm assuming you and your wife are both in RCIA, it wasn't really clear in the OP, but if your RCIA coordinator is telling you that you need to be married in the Church then she must be going through this with you, am I right?

Unless there's some kind of impediment to your marriage (like you were previously divorced) I don't see why they would stop you from receiving your first Sacraments. As I understand it, a person is only refused the Eucharist if they're divorced and remarried without an annulment, because the marriage is illicit. (Canon Law 1085 §1,2)

I hope I've understood this correctly and haven't misdirected you - definitely get 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinions on it.

I'm going through the annulment process myself so I've been looking into a bit of how the Church looks at marriage, but like I said, I'm only in RCIA like you so I don't have it down the way, say @Davidnic does.

I believe you have to contact staff and ask them to switch it, but I might wait until you've been Confirmed. I've been asked before by folks to 'hold off' on switching my faith affiliation until it's official.

Thanks for the info. To clarify, no, my wife is not Baptized and does not want to become Catholic (or associated with any faith for that matter.) I am the only one going through RCIA.

 

[G19shooter]

Also, neither of us have ever been married before (our marriage is our first for both of us.)

 

[Gnarwhal]

Thanks for the info. To clarify, no, my wife is not Baptized and does not want to become Catholic (or associated with any faith for that matter.) I am the only one going through RCIA.

Also, neither of us have ever been married before (our marriage is our first for both of us.)

Okay, then I don't want to sound pompous but I think your RCIA coordinator might be misinformed because I'm pretty sure both parties have to be Catholic for a Catholic wedding. Interfaith marriages are acceptable, but if you were Catholic when you guys got married the Church wouldn't have performed the ceremony, you would've had to either get married the way you did (in a civil court) or with some other kind of minister. In either case, they generally require that the spouse agrees to raise any children to be Catholic.

One reason is that a Catholic wedding is, itself, the celebration of the Mass. So the bride and groom would receive the Eucharist at their wedding ceremony. If she's not Catholic then that wouldn't be possible.

 

[G19shooter]

Okay, then I don't want to sound pompous but I think your RCIA coordinator might be misinformed because I'm pretty sure both parties have to be Catholic for a Catholic wedding. Interfaith marriages are acceptable, but if you were Catholic when you guys got married the Church wouldn't have performed the ceremony, you would've had to either get married the way you did (in a civil court) or with some other kind of minister. In either case, they generally require that the spouse agrees to raise any children to be Catholic.

One reason is that a Catholic wedding is, itself, the celebration of the Mass. So the bride and groom would receive the Eucharist at their wedding ceremony. If she's not Catholic then that wouldn't be possible.

She said it would be the Sacrament of Marriage, but when I asked if it would include Mass or how it would actually be performed, she said it could be performed with family present or with just my wife and I and a priest. Maybe the Sacrament of Marriage she is referring to is not quite the same as a Catholic wedding? Not sure.

 

[Gnarwhal]

She said it would be the Sacrament of Marriage, but when I asked if it would include Mass or how it would actually be performed, she said it could be performed with family present or with just my wife and I and a priest. Maybe the Sacrament of Marriage she is referring to is not quite the same as a Catholic wedding? Not sure.

Hm, I heard different. The Sacrament of Matrimony only comes out of a Catholic wedding between two Catholics. Your marriage is valid, but it's not Sacramental. At least, that's how I understood my own marriage; my ex and I were both protestants at the time, and married in a non-denominational church. I'm only now converting ~3 years after the divorce.

This sounds like something worth ironing out with your priest cause what she's telling you feels inconsistent from what I've heard/read. Maybe there are exceptions that I don't know about...

 

[G19shooter]

Hm, I heard different. The Sacrament of Matrimony only comes out of a Catholic wedding between two Catholics. Your marriage is valid, but it's not Sacramental. At least, that's how I understood my own marriage; my ex and I were both protestants at the time, and married in a non-denominational church. I'm only now converting ~3 years after the divorce.

This sounds like something worth ironing out with your priest cause what she's telling you feels inconsistent from what I've heard/read.

Yeah that was kind of my feelings on the matter too. I'll talk to a priest and see what they have to say. Thanks for the help.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Yeah that was kind of my feelings on the matter too. I'll talk to a priest and see what they have to say. Thanks for the help.

Anytime, I hope things go smoothly for you.

Also, I just skimmed through a section of that Wikipedia article I linked above, this part might be of some help:

"On the other hand, although the Catholic Church recognizes marriages between two non-Christians or those between a Catholic Christian and a non-Christian, these are not considered to be sacramental, and in the latter case, the Catholic Christian must seek permission from his/her bishop for the marriage to occur; this permission is known as "dispensation from disparity of cult".[77] The Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Those helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with the permission process. In present-day circumstances, with communities no longer so homogeneous religiously, authorization is more easily granted than in earlier centuries."​

 

[Winter]

It should be fine. Like Michie said, its about 5 minutes. Your marriage will be blessed. A friend of mine recently got her marriage blessed and recognized as a Sacrament. She and her husband married in a Protestant church a long time ago. She returned to the Catholic church and even though her husband isn't Catholic (he was Episcopalian turned agnostic), the two were still able to get their marriage blessed and she is now considered as having received the Sacrament of Marriage.

 

[Tigger45]

Okay thanks for the info. On a side note, when I made this account I put my faith as Anglican. I'd like to change it to Catholic...but can't remember how to do that...can you help me

Just start a thread in the "Members services center" asking for the change of your faith identification and they will take care of it for you.