I am so close to getting married and I am just looking for some last minute advice on building a solid marrige.
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Getting Married in 18 Days
- Thread starter newestwed
- Start date
Wow!
Well you're going to hear this only about 5 million times on your wedding day and honeymoon, but CONGRATS! Marriage is awesome.
I just got married last August, so I'm a newly-wed too.
18 days, it's getting down to the wire, I hope all the plans and stuff are all set, so all you have to worry about now is being beautiful on your big day! In the days before my wedding it felt like the day would never come....but it did, and it was wonderful. The Poconos were wonderful as well
I would suggest picking up the book His Needs, Her Needs, as well as His Needs, Her Needs for Parents, if you have kids. I have both those books, theyre wonderful. You can read them easily within the next 2 1/2 weeks if you really wanted. They make a simple outline on how to make your marriage affair-proof, as well as run much more peacefully in all areas.
Other than that, just ask other Christians couples, perhaps older and more wise couples, what they've done to make their marriage succeed. I bet they'd have some great things to share with you!
If I could give you one peice of advice, and only one, I would say, (besides stay close to God), be transparent with eachother! That means no lying/hiding/deceiving, anything like that. If you are honest in all things, you will be able to avoid problems before they even start. You will also grow to respect eachother at a whole new level. My husband is very transparent with me, he tells me things that I know other husbands wouldn't dare tell their wives. Sometimes what he tells me hurts, but I love knowing the truth, and in the end we're both much better off for it.
Good luck with everything!
Well you're going to hear this only about 5 million times on your wedding day and honeymoon, but CONGRATS! Marriage is awesome.
I just got married last August, so I'm a newly-wed too.
18 days, it's getting down to the wire, I hope all the plans and stuff are all set, so all you have to worry about now is being beautiful on your big day! In the days before my wedding it felt like the day would never come....but it did, and it was wonderful. The Poconos were wonderful as well
I would suggest picking up the book His Needs, Her Needs, as well as His Needs, Her Needs for Parents, if you have kids. I have both those books, theyre wonderful. You can read them easily within the next 2 1/2 weeks if you really wanted. They make a simple outline on how to make your marriage affair-proof, as well as run much more peacefully in all areas.
Other than that, just ask other Christians couples, perhaps older and more wise couples, what they've done to make their marriage succeed. I bet they'd have some great things to share with you!
If I could give you one peice of advice, and only one, I would say, (besides stay close to God), be transparent with eachother! That means no lying/hiding/deceiving, anything like that. If you are honest in all things, you will be able to avoid problems before they even start. You will also grow to respect eachother at a whole new level. My husband is very transparent with me, he tells me things that I know other husbands wouldn't dare tell their wives. Sometimes what he tells me hurts, but I love knowing the truth, and in the end we're both much better off for it.
Good luck with everything!
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charligirl
Senior Veteran
The three things that have been the best advice I had (I got married last year) are....
Marriage is about service - it's not 50:50, but about giving 100%
God doesn't let me pray 'change him' but rather 'show me where I need to change to be the wife my husband needs'
You will be tired on your wedding night - consider waiting until the morning - On the subject of honeymoons, it took me by suprise, christians make jokes about the 'sexfest' you can expect, I found that it was a shy and tender time more about adjusting and getting to know each other.
Oh yes, one more - on the wedding day, try and spend a few minutes alone during the day
hope it is FAB FAB FAB
Marriage is about service - it's not 50:50, but about giving 100%
God doesn't let me pray 'change him' but rather 'show me where I need to change to be the wife my husband needs'
You will be tired on your wedding night - consider waiting until the morning - On the subject of honeymoons, it took me by suprise, christians make jokes about the 'sexfest' you can expect, I found that it was a shy and tender time more about adjusting and getting to know each other.
Oh yes, one more - on the wedding day, try and spend a few minutes alone during the day
hope it is FAB FAB FAB
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I have been married for 4 1/2 years. One thing we have always done NO MATTER WHAT, is NEVER go to bed mad at each other. We have had some pretty late nights but we have always worked through our arguments/misunderstandings before going to bed.
Other than that, enjoy yourself on your wedding day. It's going to go by fast so try to spend at least a little time together sometime during the day.
Other than that, enjoy yourself on your wedding day. It's going to go by fast so try to spend at least a little time together sometime during the day.
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COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE
PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY
COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE
PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY
Communicate with each other and Pray together, and never stop dating each other. That would be my advise
PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY
COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE
PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY
Communicate with each other and Pray together, and never stop dating each other. That would be my advise
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Singin4Him
Here I am Lord, send me!
- Jul 31, 2004
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My husband and I have been married for 4 months now. I'm going to tell you a few things we were told that have helped us a lot.
The most important thing is to keep God first in both your lives and your marriage. If you can't serve and love God you cannot serve and love each other. Also another thing that helped my husband and I in the first couple months of marriage was not going into the marriage with expectations. If already expect certain things of the marriage and your spouse when those things do not happen you will be hurt and it will cause conflict. Be patient with one another!
The most important thing is to keep God first in both your lives and your marriage. If you can't serve and love God you cannot serve and love each other. Also another thing that helped my husband and I in the first couple months of marriage was not going into the marriage with expectations. If already expect certain things of the marriage and your spouse when those things do not happen you will be hurt and it will cause conflict. Be patient with one another!
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I
InTheFlame
Guest
Read Boundaries and/or Boundaries in Marriage.
Love is about helping another person become the best person they can. You don't do that by covering over their weaknesses or taking responsibility for their personal responsibilities. It isn't as simple as that by the way - I frequently make hubby breakfast or gently nag him to take his medication for example - but I wouldn't let him get away with expecting breakfast made for him each morning, or not doing any of the housework. Learning to share in any work that needs doing is a step in spiritual growth which I shouldn't deny him. Not to mention it's a partnership thing - it's not much of a partnership if one person does all the work and the other does nothing. Hmmm sorry if I've confused you with limited examples... read the book(s), Drs Cloud and Townsend explain it much better than I do.
We've been married almost a year. Love it. He's a wonderful person. My other piece of advice would be - remember you're marrying someone with their own agenda, their own priorities, and their own reactions to common situations. Your minds won't instantly become one. I know that sounds like a no-brainer but it can be hard to remember when your beloved is saying something absolutely incomprehensible...
Love is about helping another person become the best person they can. You don't do that by covering over their weaknesses or taking responsibility for their personal responsibilities. It isn't as simple as that by the way - I frequently make hubby breakfast or gently nag him to take his medication for example - but I wouldn't let him get away with expecting breakfast made for him each morning, or not doing any of the housework. Learning to share in any work that needs doing is a step in spiritual growth which I shouldn't deny him. Not to mention it's a partnership thing - it's not much of a partnership if one person does all the work and the other does nothing. Hmmm sorry if I've confused you with limited examples... read the book(s), Drs Cloud and Townsend explain it much better than I do.
We've been married almost a year. Love it. He's a wonderful person. My other piece of advice would be - remember you're marrying someone with their own agenda, their own priorities, and their own reactions to common situations. Your minds won't instantly become one. I know that sounds like a no-brainer but it can be hard to remember when your beloved is saying something absolutely incomprehensible...
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I'll tell you the most powerful thing I have learned about a successful marriage. It's not a book. It's not a speaker you can listen to. It was a dude who worked in this hippie-like health food store. It is three little words: "Enjoy each other."
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Donnabing
Christ's Servant
- Oct 26, 2003
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How exciting! I just got married 3 months ago, and I am loving marriage. One thing that my husband and I do that has really helped us bond is read the bible and pray together EVERY DAY. It keeps your focus on God. Once you get married, I can give you some other tips...but those can wait
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Thank you all for the very helpful advice. Soon, (15 days now), I hope to put all this advice to work. My fiancee and I have a relationship that is deeply rooted in Christ. I just have seen all these posts about infidelity. So as long as the two of us keep up the communication I am sure we won't be posting about that.
Would you please pray for me and my fiance in the next couple of days as we are running around like maniacs trying to get things done. I ask that you would pray for peace for each of us, that amidst all the craziness we can find time to tell eachother how much we love oneanother, and that we will find some time to enjoy the festivities.
Would you please pray for me and my fiance in the next couple of days as we are running around like maniacs trying to get things done. I ask that you would pray for peace for each of us, that amidst all the craziness we can find time to tell eachother how much we love oneanother, and that we will find some time to enjoy the festivities.
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Mr. Cheese,
I don't know if you meant for it to sound rude or not, but what you said about "it's not in a book", well, it sounded rude. {=(
Maybe you don't think books are helpful but a lot of others do, and apparently I'm not the only one who's posted in this thread. His Needs Her Needs is sometimes exactly what a man or a woman needs to have things laid out simply before them...believe me it's made me a lot more aware of certain things.
It just sounded rude to me, that's all, and I thought I'd point it out.
What if your hippie friend wrote a book about what his opinion on marriage was?
And that's a serious question, really. =)
I don't know if you meant for it to sound rude or not, but what you said about "it's not in a book", well, it sounded rude. {=(
Maybe you don't think books are helpful but a lot of others do, and apparently I'm not the only one who's posted in this thread. His Needs Her Needs is sometimes exactly what a man or a woman needs to have things laid out simply before them...believe me it's made me a lot more aware of certain things.
It just sounded rude to me, that's all, and I thought I'd point it out.
What if your hippie friend wrote a book about what his opinion on marriage was?
And that's a serious question, really. =)
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First congratulations!
Be patient; listen; be open; discuss; resolve conflict; make time for each other (like a date night), put your relationship first, be supportive; be flexable; be attentive; keep your sense of humor; be thoughtful and keep the romance going; above all is patience...give yourselves time to adjust. Pray and play together! I wish I had some real answers, so you can just look on those as tips.
mojo
Be patient; listen; be open; discuss; resolve conflict; make time for each other (like a date night), put your relationship first, be supportive; be flexable; be attentive; keep your sense of humor; be thoughtful and keep the romance going; above all is patience...give yourselves time to adjust. Pray and play together! I wish I had some real answers, so you can just look on those as tips.
mojo
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E_Powers
Humble Baker for the Lord
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1. PUT god in the center of your relationship. he is the foundation of all that is good in the world and a good relationship with him will mirror your marriage.
2. do not ignore your siginifigant other and go off into your own world. and if one of you do remind them of the consequences of doing so. spend as much time as you can together.
3. more then just communicate watch what you say to each other. a wrong fully said phrase may mean nothing to you but it is like a sharp sword through the heart.
4. support every and all decissions whether you like them or not. no need to fight about something if you cannot change the past.
5. be content with what life brings. if you have your spouse and god, does it matter if you do not have a million dollars? or that shiny car or the health you had when you were younger. ultamatly what you have down here on earth is mute and the only thing you can bring to heaven is someone else and in order to do that one has to have a relationship with them. whether it is a "love" relationship with your wife and god. or a "neighbor/friendship" with someone else
2. do not ignore your siginifigant other and go off into your own world. and if one of you do remind them of the consequences of doing so. spend as much time as you can together.
3. more then just communicate watch what you say to each other. a wrong fully said phrase may mean nothing to you but it is like a sharp sword through the heart.
4. support every and all decissions whether you like them or not. no need to fight about something if you cannot change the past.
5. be content with what life brings. if you have your spouse and god, does it matter if you do not have a million dollars? or that shiny car or the health you had when you were younger. ultamatly what you have down here on earth is mute and the only thing you can bring to heaven is someone else and in order to do that one has to have a relationship with them. whether it is a "love" relationship with your wife and god. or a "neighbor/friendship" with someone else
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