I made a mistake when i allowed him the chance to get high like when he was a teen. Now he has been bugging me about it. I have said that i would leave him if he was to get high again and I also made the mistake of saying you can only get high when you go to church with me so i can get high, because i like to get high from religion rather than from drugs (like him). I also made the mistake when i said I can't be around one who doesn't have an education. He took it as me calling him stupid. I would really appreciate some advice that would help me mend my wrongs. And i would really appreciate ur prayers too.
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Getting High
- Thread starter adnilgnav
- Start date
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truezeta
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Ask him for forgiveness, for offending him. However, you have to set limits and there is nothing wrong with requesting he not use drugs if he wants to be in your life. We are to be set apart from things of that nature. I pray God's will be done in your life.
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adnilgnav said:
I'm not entirely sure who 'he' is. Are you talking about a husband or a boyfriend? If he's just a boyfriend, it could be a completely reasonable decision to leave him due to his drug use. If he's a husband, then the two of you will need to work things out.
I'm going to post based on the assumption that 'he' is your boyfriend:
If you aren't yet married to the guy, saying that you would leave him if he gets high again was not a mistake. Inviting him to go to church with you was not a mistake. Telling him that you prefer getting high on God was not a mistake. The education statement - yeah, that might have been a minor blunder. But if it is the truth, and you need someone who is educated, then so be it - it's good to have standards. As far as mending wrongs go, you might want to clarify that you weren't calling him stupid and apologize if that offended him. But on the drug issue, stand your ground. If he gets high again, you could certainly do as you said and break up with him. There would be nothing wrong with that (again, assuming that you aren't yet married). In fact, you should probably be evaluating whether or not this is the type of guy you would want to be with for life, regardless of whether or not he gets high in the near future.
Ultimately, if he wants to use drugs, he's going to do it whether you "allow" him to or not. Adults shouldn't need to have someone else making their decisions for them. If an adult isn't mature enough to take responsibility for his/her own decisions, there is a problem somewhere.
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RooiWillie
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Fishstix, you've pretty much nailed it. 
The Bible clearly speaks of not being unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14-18) - it's a tough one to swallow sometimes, but the Lord has been revealing to me lately how much a blessing a relationship can be between a Godly man and woman and after this revelation I cannot settle for anything less. Besides, God created relationships - trying to build a relationship without God in it and without His principles in place will not nearly be the blessing that it can be. It's like trying to drive your car but there's not gas in it - you're going to go nowhere, because the system is not designed to function like that!
The Bible clearly speaks of not being unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14-18) - it's a tough one to swallow sometimes, but the Lord has been revealing to me lately how much a blessing a relationship can be between a Godly man and woman and after this revelation I cannot settle for anything less. Besides, God created relationships - trying to build a relationship without God in it and without His principles in place will not nearly be the blessing that it can be. It's like trying to drive your car but there's not gas in it - you're going to go nowhere, because the system is not designed to function like that!
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I would apologize for offending him. Also you can't really allow or not allow some thing like drugs b/c they will find a way around it. Let him know how you feel about drugs and how you don't like people usign them espically around you and some truth about it. Tell him instead of getting high of that stuff that can kill him. Tell him why doesn't he try getting high (spiritualy) with the Lord.Something that will keep you a person that loves him.
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talitha
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adnilgnav said:
hmm - this is good - the observations you have made here and what you are asking prayer for - very mature, actually.
If you are married (and this will apply in your marriage one day if you aren't married now, so listen up
), you must realize that you are basically setting yourself up as a sort of mommy figure in your husband's life, being permissive or telling him under what circumstances and in what way he can do this or that -- and what will this accomplish? It will foster a rebellious spirit in your husband. He will think, I'll show her! And there is possibly another issue at work here, and it's deal-making. Deal-making can crush the life out of your relationship. If you say (in effect), "you have my permission to commit this sin if you will do this thing that I want you to do," you are being manipulative and forming an unholy tie with this man, even if he is your husband. These are things I deal with in my own marriage, so please don't think I've got it all together. The Lord has just begun to open my eyes to this stuff.God bless you
tal
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