Getting asked out

PaintB · Sep 22, 2014

I became acquaintances with one of the trainers at my gym. I wouldn't say friends because the only place we would see and talk to each other was at the gym. A few weeks after I had introduced myself to her, she asked me out via a Facebook message. It was some what out of the blue, considering I didn't even know her last name, but she new mine even though I didn't see any mutual friends between us.
So yeah..

Anyways, when I decide I'm going to ask a girl out on a date, I'll ask her out face to face. I'm not really a big fan of social media, so I try to keep my relationships apart from them. And asking a girl out on a date via a text is only something I'd do if I had been on a few dates with her already.

Shattered-Reflections · Sep 22, 2014

leothelioness said:
How do you normally get asked out? In person, through text, over the phone? How would you prefer to be asked out?

The couple of times I've been asked out it was through text and over the phone. I would prefer to be asked out in person.

I'm not sure if anyone has asked me out trough text or online, it's been mostly in person.

I think I use to care about how others asked me out, but then I realized that was only because others said it wasn't creditable or respectable. I think in person is better, but I don't think asking online/text is a deal breaker especially if you don't see each other often.

MrMoe · Sep 22, 2014

leothelioness said:
How do you normally get asked out? In person, through text, over the phone? How would you prefer to be asked out?

The couple of times I've been asked out it was through text and over the phone. I would prefer to be asked out in person.

But text is the only way I can ask you out leo. America is so far away and I'm not a very good swimmer.

leothelioness · Sep 22, 2014

MrMoe said:
But text is the only way I can ask you out leo. American is so far away and I'm not a very good swimmer.

I'll give you a special pass, Moe.

Legal_Eagle · Sep 22, 2014

Usually in person, more often now that I joined one of those online dating sites. Maybe once or twice a week. It's alright. Haven't been asked by anyone interesting yet.... My problem is that I get really bored of people quickly, especially with the really pretty ones. Seems like the more people rely on their looks, the less they have developed other parts of themselves. Ahh the woman for me... why is she so elusive?

leothelioness · Sep 22, 2014

Legal_Eagle said:
Usually in person, more often now that I joined one of those online dating sites. Maybe once or twice a week. It's alright. Haven't been asked by anyone interesting yet.... My problem is that I get really bored of people quickly, especially with the really pretty ones. Seems like the more people rely on their looks, the less they have developed other parts of themselves. Ahh the woman for me... why is she so elusive?

The best ones are the formerly ugly ducklings. They may be beautiful swans now, but they have brains and personality to go with it.

Legal_Eagle · Sep 22, 2014

leothelioness said:
The best ones are the formerly ugly ducklings. They may be beautiful swans now, but they have brains and personality to go with it.

I completely agree with that. Whoever told women that being a late bloomer is a bad thing, was completely full of it. It's amazing how many women I know from high school that became beautiful through their 20's. My only problem, was that I was too shallow back in those days to probably notice. All the good ones, with looks "and" a deep and engaging personality, seem to be off the market these days.

AztecSDSU · Sep 23, 2014

Text message: keeps things casual, doesn't put anyone on the spot to accept

Girly123 · Sep 24, 2014

Have been asked out mostly over texts and phone..
I don't like people coming direct about their liking.. Exchanging texts initially about giving a clue that they like but asking out definitely in person..

anewman1993 · Sep 24, 2014

Girly123 said:
Have been asked out mostly over texts and phone..
I don't like people coming direct about their liking.. Exchanging texts initially about giving a clue that they like but asking out definitely in person..

Why don't like them being up front? I mean, I hate just texting a girl back and forth and not just asking her out, like, once I get to know you to a certain point, I know I don't want to be your friend, but get to know you romanticly, why waste each others time playing a game? If she likes me too we can go and start getting to know each other, if she doesn't then I'm not wasting my time or hers continuing to talk to her and hoping she likes me.

Plus....I'm not a very subtle person.

ReesePiece23 · Sep 24, 2014

anewman1993 said:
why waste each others time playing a game?

Because it's a game of patience old bean.

And why rush? Getting to know each other is the fun part. Don't do a runner when the challenges start to mount up - because ultimately, that's what'll separate the men from the boys.

Just chill out and go with the flow - there's certain art to it, yes, but you're also not trying to solve Chinese Puzzles.

CCHIPSS · Sep 24, 2014

I have never been asked out by a lady. So I have no idea how they like to do it.

When I ask a lady out I tend to use the phone. When I used to go to school it would be face to face. But after school is completed I don't see the ladies face to face that often.

With that said my dating life has decreased to absolutely zero after I decided to date Christian ladies only. Some Christian ladies I am not attracted to. The ones I am attracted to don't like me. I can talk about Jesus all day long, but at the end I am just not attractive to them. And a Christian lady can tell me all about Jesus' love, but I still won't be attracted to her.

And hence the picking and choosing game from both men and women continues. Having Jesus in our lives clearly offers very few bonus points when it comes to dating other Christians. Everyone (including me, even when I want to date Christians) just date like the secular world

And from my observation, at least 60-70% of the Christians I know are either dating or married to a non-Christian. I am not judging them, since I cannot wait to love them and pray for their future success. But it is just sorrowful to see.

Until the church really becomes a Salt of the Earth and stop its materialism, until the church stops accepting coveting as not a sin and sets its priorities right, until the church stop viewing beauty as it was shown on the media, the church will continue to have serious problems with Christian dating.

Like I always say, God help this generation. We are so messed up it aren't funny.

As for me, I just pray that God will shape me into that wonderful husband material that he wants me to be. Whatever I find a wife or not, I pray that I will prioritize God and obeying God over any earthly things. And God is my sole source of peace in this currently fairly lonely life.

Cute Tink · Sep 24, 2014

ReesePiece23, I'm sorry they did that to you.

I think I've been asked out in person once, and it was through a mutual friend. All the other times have been online, including 2 here that I won't hold the poor guys to

I have done the asking many times and been rejected most of those too.

It must be because I'm very selective with my pictures.

leothelioness · Sep 24, 2014

Cute Tink said:
All the other times have been online, including 2 here that I won't hold the poor guys to

This is a dangerous place for us girls isn't it?

redblue22 · Sep 24, 2014

I always loved getting a girl's number in my super-size happy meal.

.

anewman1993 · Sep 24, 2014

ReesePiece23 said:
Because it's a game of patience old bean.

And why rush? Getting to know each other is the fun part. Don't do a runner when the challenges start to mount up - because ultimately, that's what'll separate the men from the boys.

Just chill out and go with the flow - there's certain art to it, yes, but you're also not trying to solve Chinese Puzzles.

Haha I think you misunderstood me. I'm not about rushing straight into being anything big. But if I talked to a girl a few times, and I like her, then I want to just put it out there. I just want to say "hey, I like you, and I think you like me, and I want to get to know you better so how about we grab some coffee friday?". Apparently this is considered desperate though . God forbid I actually tell a girl im interested in her.

I'm not talking about rushing into a relationship or anything, but there are some girls, I'm going to be honest, I have NO interest in being friends with, I like them, but if they don't want to get to know me in a romantic light then its just painful to be around them so I don't want to be.

leothelioness said:
This is a dangerous place for us girls isn't it?

QUICK GUYS I SEE A GIRL! CIRCLE THE WAGONS, NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL SHE MARRIES ONE OF US!

ReesePiece23 · Sep 24, 2014

anewman1993 said:
Haha I think you misunderstood me. I'm not about rushing straight into being anything big. But if I talked to a girl a few times, and I like her, then I want to just put it out there. I just want to say "hey, I like you, and I think you like me, and I want to get to know you better so how about we grab some coffee friday?". Apparently this is considered desperate though . God forbid I actually tell a girl im interested in her.

I'm not talking about rushing into a relationship or anything, but there are some girls, I'm going to be honest, I have NO interest in being friends with, I like them, but if they don't want to get to know me in a romantic light then its just painful to be around them so I don't want to be.

Right, yes, I'm with you now. I thought you were just copping out because your bird was running you through the gauntlet. I was just about to say, no! Hang in there! You're almost home and dry!

Instead it's a case of: "I love you...

... Like a brother."

Cute Tink · Sep 24, 2014

leothelioness said:
This is a dangerous place for us girls isn't it?

Yeah, lol. In my case I'm sure they were just being nice anyway

anewman1993 · Sep 24, 2014

ReesePiece23 said:
Right, yes, I'm with you now. I thought you were just copping out because your bird was running you through the gauntlet. I was just about to say, no! Hang in there! You're almost home and dry!

Instead it's a case of: "I love you...

... Like a brother."

More like its a case of "I don't know what to say or do because I suck at dating".

Seriously, on my campus "dating" means talking to a girl, texting with her, sleeping with her, and at some point deciding if you want to sleep JUST with her and asking her out :/

leothelioness · Sep 24, 2014

Cute Tink said:
Yeah, lol. In my case I'm sure they were just being nice anyway

If they're being nice to you, they're just being nice to me, too.

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