@RickardoHolmes, I am also very sorry for your experience. While I hate to hear stories like that, they are also good reminders for all of us about how we have fallen short and can do better.
I believe the membership "by transfer" thing was a reference to the fact that they likely wouldn't re-Confirm someone who came from the Roman Catholic or Lutheran tradition but would have them Received by the bishop instead. Note that in some dioceses, that is now the process for anyone who has made a mature commitment of faith, regardless of denomination.
But what was either communicated horribly or the priest was just flat-out wrong about is that membership in the local church and sacramentally becoming an Episcopalian are two separate things. Neither one requires the other. (Let's please leave aside the question of whether confirmation is a sacrament or not.)
I can tell you how it works in my parish for contrast. Anyone who submits a membership form with the required information becomes a member. If they were previously a member at another Episcopal church, then we have to go through an added step of getting a letter of transfer, but that's really just so the person isn't double-counted. While the form does ask about Confirmation, that's just for our records.
As for our mailing lists, we have several. The electronic one is open for anyone to sign up. Heck, there's a link on our public website to do so. Our paper mailing list (which we don't use very often at all, anymore) is basically the membership list plus anyone else who has submitted a pledge card. We've also added a few people who make somewhat regular financial contributions and attend sporadically but who don't want to submit a pledge card for some reason or become a member (so-called "contributors of record"). The printed directory then reflects that mailing list, plus a few parishioners who have moved away whom we keep on there for a few years to facilitate keeping in touch with them.
Membership in the Episcopal church was never intended to be a high and lofty thing. If you contribute to the life of a congregation through your presence, worship, and monetary gifts, we should love to have you as a member.
Thank You so m uch I apologice for the tardiness of my reply I agree with much of what you are saying.
I started with regular attendence as in almost weekly as permitted on ADVENT 1, the first day of the liturgical year. SInce that time, I have engaged in the very activities that would be needed, including decorating for CHristmas, paying for the latar flowers once a year (Which costs a lot now due to inflation but it is what it is ) I was placing cash in the offering plate, but my old lady pointed out that in her career as an auditor, cash tends to go missing at all levels, even churches, so she suggested a check. However, we now have this thing called TITHELY where I can transfer funds from my checking account to the church account and no time needed for a check to be processed or handled.
I did not make a pledge, but I did learn that the average pledge is about $100 a month, some less, some more. SO, I have been targeting that number. However, I often contribute to special programs and projects, like Easter Music, or the sock drive for the homeless, and that is not about what I do but I am hopeful that my contributions will help the wheels keep turning, so to speak.
I am unaware of any "mailing list" but I do know that the congreation updates their facebook page daily, with devotionals and scripture readings for the day. This is likely less expensive.
I have found too, that there are people there who are in greater need than I. I think back to when I was first attending the EPsicopal church, in college, many of the University professors attended, and the Sunday School teacher was the Dean of arts and sciences, I found a more intellectual and stimulating foundation. Moving away, I have never found that level of academia or scholarship in a congregation, but I have not worked or lived in small college towns per se.
I did encounter though churches, not specifically Episcopal, that seemed to want no members who had no money. WHich is why I stopped going for the longest time.
Last week, I realized just how many people there are struggling not just financially, but in other aspects of their lives, and I realized that I am lucky and blessed that my hard work and choices have brought me to where I am now. I can help others, and to be a loving member of the community, I believe that I have that obligation to help others, as I would want to be treated with love repect and kindness if I were in their position.
I also remind myself weekly, that while I find, as an aesthetic , the service stimulates and inspires my need for an expression of God's Beauty and Love, I am there to help others when called, and perhaps remind myself that the greatest expression of love is to put aside one's own needs at times for those of others.
