If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My head huts, my car wont go without me pushing it, my dog just ate my food....."
If they say they're John Bob from ABCXYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Someone and I'm with ABCXYZ Company. "
You: Wait for a second and with a strange voice ask, "Are you single?"
Cry out in surprise, and repeat their name "Is that you? Oh my God! how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give them a few brief moments of terror as he/she tries to figure out where he/she could know you from.
Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
If someone calls trying to get you to sign up for the Friends and Family Plan, reply, in as a creepy/dumb a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.
Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
Pick up the phone one you realize its a Telemarketer tell them "you do know that you have reached the FBI?"
Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Eat your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm with the government's new telemarketing fighting agency"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Bob, playing a joke. "Come on, Bob, cut it out! Seriously, Bob, how's your mom?"
Pretend that you cant speak any english.
Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up. ....louder. . . louder . . .
Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
Enjoy
Feel free to add more
