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Funny jokes
- Thread starter Bob Crowley
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- Dec 27, 2015
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- Nov 28, 2003
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A woman gives birth every three minutes.
What we have to do is find this woman and stop her!
What we have to do is find this woman and stop her!
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Maori Aussie
Active Member
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Maori Aussie
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Maori Aussie
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Someone told me it would cost a lot of money to hire a stone mason to build a retaining wall at my house.
I also heard there are free masons, to me that sounds too good to be true.
What do you think?
I also heard there are free masons, to me that sounds too good to be true.
What do you think?
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Maori Aussie
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'Man, People Are Going To LOVE Reading This One,' Says Moses While Writing Leviticus
MOUNT SINAI — Hot off the success of Genesis and Exodus, Moses expressed confidence that everyone would love his follow-up work, Leviticus.
babylonbee.com
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Maori Aussie
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Israelite King Would Just Once Like Prophets To Say God Is Pleased and Everything Is Dandy
SAMARIA — According to insiders, King Ahab of Israel lamented a recent meeting he had with the prophet Elijah, admitting that just once he would like the prophets to say God is pleased and that everything is fine and dandy.
babylonbee.com
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- Jan 7, 2024
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness, and takes a seat. He sips from each one in turn until they’re gone, then comes back for another round.
The bartender, a bit puzzled, says, “You know, lad, a pint goes flat if you don’t drink it fresh. It’d taste better if you ordered them one at a time.”
The Irishman smiles and says, “Ah, but you see, I’ve got two brothers—one in America, one in Australia. When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the good old days together. So I have one for each of me brothers, and one for meself.”
The bartender nods, touched by the tradition, and lets it be. The Irishman becomes a regular, always drinking the same way.
Then one day, he walks in and orders only two pints. The bar falls silent. Everyone notices.
When he returns for another round, the bartender leans in and says gently, “I don’t mean to intrude, but I just wanted to say—I’m sorry for your loss.”
The Irishman looks confused for a second, then bursts out laughing. “Oh no, everybody’s grand! It’s just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church, so I had to quit drinking… but it hasn’t affected me brothers though!”
Priorities!
The bartender, a bit puzzled, says, “You know, lad, a pint goes flat if you don’t drink it fresh. It’d taste better if you ordered them one at a time.”
The Irishman smiles and says, “Ah, but you see, I’ve got two brothers—one in America, one in Australia. When we all left home, we promised we’d drink this way to remember the good old days together. So I have one for each of me brothers, and one for meself.”
The bartender nods, touched by the tradition, and lets it be. The Irishman becomes a regular, always drinking the same way.
Then one day, he walks in and orders only two pints. The bar falls silent. Everyone notices.
When he returns for another round, the bartender leans in and says gently, “I don’t mean to intrude, but I just wanted to say—I’m sorry for your loss.”
The Irishman looks confused for a second, then bursts out laughing. “Oh no, everybody’s grand! It’s just that my wife had us join that Baptist Church, so I had to quit drinking… but it hasn’t affected me brothers though!”
Priorities!
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- Jan 7, 2024
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