Frustrated and in tears...

[Darling Deedee]

Hey.

Not sure exactly how to phrase this except that I'm looking for some support because it feels like its me versus the world at times when it comes to my weight.

I started taking Zyprexa about six years ago after a major manic episode. Its really done wonders and with the addition of Lamotrigine I've been mostly stable. I still have highs and lows but they aren't as crippling as they used to be.

The problem I have is the weight gain. In the last six years I've gained almost 70 pounds. My doctor told me I was prediabetic this fall so he sent me to a dietitian and after conversations with her we determined that my diet is on track. I told her how much I exercise (I walk five days a week for at least 30 minutes) but she told me to double it.

I hate to be a downer but if one more person tells me that exercise and diet will solve all my weight problems, I think I might actually come unglued on them. I lost about 15 pounds over the course of five months and even though I keep eating right and exercising, I've gained back three pounds.

I know weight loss is an uphill battle at the best of times, but it feels like it's futile. I asked my doctor today if trying to loose weight really is as futile as it feels. He's compassionate and said that trying to loose weight is never futile but he acknowledges that I'm going to have some major difficulty achieving what I hope for. And right or not, I want to loose all 65-70 pounds.

So, I've got my doctor behind me and my mom, too. They both seem to understand my plight but I'm just so disappointed in my friends. They seem to figure that I'm overweight because I sit on my tush all day and eat potato chips. Its not the case!

My well-meaning friends make all sorts of suggestions about how to incorporate exercise into my life but the reality is, I already do it all. I take the stairs, I do all my errands by foot, when I'm out with mom and dad running errands I ask that we always park on the other side of the parking lot from the store. But people look at me and see nothing more than a fat person. And when I try to explain to them that my medication is the reason I'm so overweight, they look at me with disappointment as if I'm making it up - that I'm making excuses for being lazy.

I'm having a really hard time right now and I just need someone to tell me that they know what I'm going through. 'Cause I love the Lord but he didn't struggle with weight issues and it feels like no one else in my life understands.

Thanks.
-Deedee

P.S. My doctor has suggested we try Abilify but I don't know how on earth I'll afford it because, even though I'm in Canada, there are some drugs that just aren't covered by our health case system. This is one of them. But Zyprexa wasn't covered for me either but my psychiatrist found an obscure programme that covers it... maybe there's something similar for Abilify?

 

[mum24]

I gained about that much weight on zyprexa and I'm struggling to get it off too. I'm also in Canada. I'm still on zyprexa so it's hard. It's an amazing drug mood wise but it causes troubles metabolically. As you found out with the prediabetes. If you can swing changing to another drug go for it. I can't. My mood always crashes. My doctor referred me to an Ohip covered doctor run diet clinic. Maybe there's one in your area? pM me and I'll tell you the name of it.
I totally know what you are going through. It's awful and people don't understand. Hugs!! I do!

 

[Alive again]

I understand as well and know many who have had the same issue esp . My issue with weight is not drug related as much but stress related. Returned to work as my moods were better controlled and have double my weight and have not stopped gaining yet. . .

 

[Darling Deedee]

AliveAgain and Mum24

Thanks so much for your support. I'm teetering on the edge of a crash. I weighed myself yesterday and have gained back three more pounds. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm trying and trying and nothing ever gets better. It just seems so awfully futile. My cousin and I resolved to work out together even though he's in Ontario so we've been writing letters back and forth... I had to write him today and tell him that I'm an utter failure. I know rationally that this isn't my fault and I hear what my doctor says, that Zyprexa is the best drug for gaining weight that he's ever seen, but I was running errands today (on foot) and I stepped out in front of someone's car at an intersection (I thought he was stopping so I could cross) and he hollered 'wait your turn tubby!' I mean, how am I supposed to feel when people I don't even know are so judgmental?

I hate feeling like this.

Thanks for your support. Yes, I'll PM you mum24. Thanks a bunch.

-Deedee

 

[LifebyChrist]

Hey please hang in there and do not give up.

 

[LifebyChrist]

Hey.

Not sure exactly how to phrase this except that I'm looking for some support because it feels like its me versus the world at times when it comes to my weight.

I started taking Zyprexa about six years ago after a major manic episode. Its really done wonders and with the addition of Lamotrigine I've been mostly stable. I still have highs and lows but they aren't as crippling as they used to be.

The problem I have is the weight gain. In the last six years I've gained almost 70 pounds. My doctor told me I was prediabetic this fall so he sent me to a dietitian and after conversations with her we determined that my diet is on track. I told her how much I exercise (I walk five days a week for at least 30 minutes) but she told me to double it.

I hate to be a downer but if one more person tells me that exercise and diet will solve all my weight problems, I think I might actually come unglued on them. I lost about 15 pounds over the course of five months and even though I keep eating right and exercising, I've gained back three pounds.

I know weight loss is an uphill battle at the best of times, but it feels like it's futile. I asked my doctor today if trying to loose weight really is as futile as it feels. He's compassionate and said that trying to loose weight is never futile but he acknowledges that I'm going to have some major difficulty achieving what I hope for. And right or not, I want to loose all 65-70 pounds.

So, I've got my doctor behind me and my mom, too. They both seem to understand my plight but I'm just so disappointed in my friends. They seem to figure that I'm overweight because I sit on my tush all day and eat potato chips. Its not the case!

My well-meaning friends make all sorts of suggestions about how to incorporate exercise into my life but the reality is, I already do it all. I take the stairs, I do all my errands by foot, when I'm out with mom and dad running errands I ask that we always park on the other side of the parking lot from the store. But people look at me and see nothing more than a fat person. And when I try to explain to them that my medication is the reason I'm so overweight, they look at me with disappointment as if I'm making it up - that I'm making excuses for being lazy.

I'm having a really hard time right now and I just need someone to tell me that they know what I'm going through. 'Cause I love the Lord but he didn't struggle with weight issues and it feels like no one else in my life understands.

Thanks.
-Deedee

P.S. My doctor has suggested we try Abilify but I don't know how on earth I'll afford it because, even though I'm in Canada, there are some drugs that just aren't covered by our health case system. This is one of them. But Zyprexa wasn't covered for me either but my psychiatrist found an obscure programme that covers it... maybe there's something similar for Abilify?

Hello sorry I did not give a good anwser at first, I had to pray to get wisdom from God

James 3:17 "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

The first thing I notice is you are just too much in the physical rather then the spiritual. What I mean is you are talking about medications and just weight but have you ever thought that the stress could come from something else inside?

1 Samuel 16:7 "But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

God looks at your heart, your physical body will not last and furthermore you will get a gloried body

Philippians 3:21 "who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

Matthew 23:26 "Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean."

Have you ever thought to consider that maybe someone might look good on the outside but deep down they could really be overweight and weighed down by all the sin in their life.

Matthew 23:27 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean."

Ecclesiastes 5:13 "I have seen a grievous evil under the sun: wealth hoarded to the harm of its owner,"

Matthew 19:23 "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."

John 7:24 "Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment."

God cares more about the condition of your heart, not how you look but even still God will help you but you have to trust.

2 Corinthians 9:11 "You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God."

To be honest maybe you should try to get off of the meds but if you need that as a crutch then it is okay.

Romans 14:1 "Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters."

Romans 14:2 "One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables."

 

[Darling Deedee]

*Crickets*

Mmmm. Well, thanks for the insight. I'll trust that it came from your heart.

I hardly see my dependency on medication as a crutch. I know what I was like before I was medicated and I have no desire to go back there. I don't believe that it was the devil or my own weakness or sin. I believe that bipolar is a physical condition - a complicated neuro-chemical problem. I take the meds because they help my brain.

I'm a strong person of faith. I love the Lord. I was simply airing my struggle with weight because I thought this was a friendly and supportive place to do that. I don't think comments like "To be honest maybe you should try to get off of the meds but if you need that as a crutch then it is okay" is appropriate.

But like I said... I trust that your comments were divinely inspired and will re-read them to take away what I can.

-Deedee

 

[Broken Hearted]

I was on zyprexa and I gained 70lbs. in just a few months time. I finally had to stop taking it due to allergic reactions to it but it left me with all the weight. After stopping it I went on a strict diet and with in 6 months of the diet I was able to loose most of it. I would suggest asking to be put on a different med cause it is possible to loose it and still find another med that can keep you balanced. Ive been on many trying different combinations. Just in my situation Im allergic to 5 different ones now. But with time and different ones it has helped me to be stable not all the time but better than not having any meds at all. Its just somthing that bipolar people have to do. I dont think its about having faith or anything its just a chemical imbalance that we have that we cant help. Im here for you if you need someone to talk to.

 

[Darling Deedee]

Broken Hearted,
It means so much to know that there's people out there who are in the same shoes as me. Thank you so much. I look forward to loosing the weight for good... the appt with my pdoc is for May 5th which is an awful long ways away when I'm feeling this miserable. Have you been on Abilify yet? My GP suggested it to me and now I have my hopes pinned on it. I know that's not reasonable but sometimes ya just gotta cling to hope, right?
-Deedee

 

[Broken Hearted]

Your more than welcome. Ive never been on abilify yet. My current meds include seroquel which is used for mood stabalizer and sleep, Trileptal another mood stabalizer, and Prozac for depression. Ive been diagnosed now for 10yrs now with bipolar disorder and have had to change meds regularly and also do therapy. I know for me its been a rollercoaster ride trying different meds but Ive been on the seroquel and trileptal for several yrs now and the prozac for about a yr. now. It gets frustrating waiting it out to let the meds get in to work but its worth it if they do. But like I said I was up to 235lbs with the zyprexa and once I got off of it and got on a strict diet and excercise I went back down to 165lbs. Ive gained some back but due to steroids when I got very sick and they kept feeding me them to build me back up. But it really is possible. Its just a shame though that when they gave me zyprexa they didnt tell me 70lbs was the normal to gain. They told me afterwards when it was to late. But Im here for you anytime you need someone to talk to or encouragement. Just pm me or vm me and Ill be there for you.