From the thread "Should Christians touch"

[Dave-W]

So.... I'm a Christian and so is my boyfriend. We're both adults, and are both waiting till marriage to have sex. Now, I understand that we all have urges. we're human. I'm physically attracted to my boyfriend and he is the same towards me. Yet we of course won't and can't do anything about it and just ignore the urges.

Well, the thing is he started saying to me he used to touch, and this would ease up his sexual urges towards me whenever we're together snuggling. but I told him he can't touch because Christians don't do that. I used to touch but I don't anymore since I know it's wrong. He said he's stop. but was I wrong to make him stop? Is it actually wrong for Christians to touch? And if so, where does it say in the Bible?

This is the OP of a thread I keep seeing popping up on "Featured Threads" even though the OP was 6 years ago and has not had any dust blown off of it in years. Since the thread is in the "Courting Couples" folder I (being married) did not think it wise to reply there. To me the question is much more broad that just one group of believers. While it certainly is (or at least should be) an issue during courtship, it is also an issue for young and mid teens, single adults and married adults. And it certainly is a question of moral import. Hence its placement here in the ethics and morality folder.

I understand that certain groups have very strong opinions on this (which we will no doubt hear) as do I (which you will also hear later on).

So now I want to open up the discussion "Should Christians touch?"
Please note the question is "Should;" and not "can" or "do." People including Christians do it every day. So obviously we can and do. But should we be doing that? that is the question.

 

[Cearbhall]

So now I want to open up the discussion "Should Christians touch?"
Please note the question is "Should;" and not "can" or "do." People including Christians do it every day. So obviously we can and do. But should we be doing that? that is the question.

I realize there are some Christians who don't think my opinion on the matter of what Christians should do counts for anything, and that's absolutely fine, but speaking as a former Christian, I don't see any problem that is inherent to masturbation. It has no negative physical or mental side effects on its own, and there are actually some benefits to it.

 

[quatona]

So now I want to open up the discussion "Should Christians touch?"
Please note the question is "Should;" and not "can" or "do." People including Christians do it every day. So obviously we can and do. But should we be doing that? that is the question.

Yes, you should.

 

[GoldenBoy89]

Yes, everyone should touch. To echo Cearbhall, it hasn't been shown that there are any adverse side effects to it and even some health benefits. Basically, as long as it isn't getting in the way of relationships, school or work, or to the point where it's an addiction there is practically no harm in doing it.

Well except for burning in hell for all eternity.

 

[Chesterton]

Yes, you should.

Yes, everyone should touch.

What if I don't want to?

 

[GoldenBoy89]

What if I don't want to?

Then you don't have to.

 

[Chesterton]

Then you don't have to.

Great, thanks. I have some errands to run and I didn't wanna have to, you know, while out and about.

 

[quatona]

What if I don't want to?

You have "free will".

 

[Dave-W]

I realize there are some Christians who don't think my opinion on the matter of what Christians should do counts for anything, and that's absolutely fine, but speaking as a former Christian, I don't see any problem that is inherent to masturbation.

While this is aimed primarily at the Christians among us, thank you for your input.

Was this an issue during your days as a Christian? What did your church group teach on this (if anything)?

 

[Dave-W]

Well except for burning in hell for all eternity.

Like you really believe in that. Not.

 

[Dave-W]

What if I don't want to?

That is fine, but I would ask why you do not want to.

 

[Cearbhall]

Was this an issue during your days as a Christian? What did your church group teach on this (if anything)?

I didn't know that masturbation existed until I read about it on the Internet in my early teens. It was not talked about, but I'm guessing it was more because no one cared whether we did it (rather than it being taboo). It also wouldn't have been polite conversation outside of our family/sexuality school program, but it wasn't talked about even in that.

 

[Dave-W]

It was not talked about, but I'm guessing it was more because no one cared whether we did it (rather than it being taboo).

In my circles it was not talked about because it was too sinful to even mention:

"The sin sooooooo bad it can not even be mentioned in a HOLY Bible....."

Yeah - I heard that one.

Never mind that beastiality, incest, rape, adultery were all mentioned in no uncertain terms, and never mind that the Egyptian hieroglyphs frequently depicted guys doing the deed; it never got directly mentioned in scripture. To me that silence says a LOT.

 

[Chesterton]

That is fine, but I would ask why you do not want to.

It just got to be too awkward and embarrassing when girls would find out I was thinking about them while I did it.

 

[Chesterton]

I didn't know that masturbation existed...

Same here. I mean I didn't know it existed as a thing people did. I thought I invented it. 'Til I got down to the patent office.

 

[BadHabit]

I don't understand how the heck I end up on controversial topics like this, but I'm feeling feisty today so I'll drop another couple centavos into another conversation that really isn't any of my business.

I don't think in and of itself that there is anything inherently wrong with self-gratification. However, the process with humans is never that easy, and there are topics about fantasy, morality, frequency, and how those relate to a person's feelings towards their religious affiliation. Not to mention, the intent behind the act of self-gratification - is it purely for physiological reasons, or is it a person's addiction to the flood of endorphins they get from [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? These also are questions that muddle the issue.

Personally, and this is only relevant for me and my unique situation - I choose not to self-gratify. It's an easy decision for me to make since I have no libido to speak of and therefore never get urges of a sexual nature.

I can't pass judgment on what others do though. Judging is not my job, and I have enough planks stuck firmly in my eyes that I dare not try to remove slivers from anyone else's.

 

[Cearbhall]

Not to mention, the intent behind the act of self-gratification - is it purely for physiological reasons, or is it a person's addiction to the flood of endorphins they get from [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? These also are questions that muddle the issue.

Wait, is one of those a bad reason?

 

[GoldenBoy89]

Like you really believe in that. Not.

I don't but hey, maybe I'll be surprised on the end!

 

[Dave-W]

It just got to be too awkward and embarrassing when girls would find out I was thinking about them while I did it.

And the girls found out - - how, exactly?

 

[Chesterton]

And the girls found out - - how, exactly?

Well, sometimes I'd lean too close to the window. <rimshot>