Frightened

[Reic]

Hello, I am in need of some advice/support from fellow christians.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. It is a great relationship, healthy relationship, and a very honest relationship. One that God has truely blessed me with, and I am very thankful for.

I just recently moved in to a house near the college I attend and she is living with me, she is a teacher and just started her first day today. We have been considering marriage, and I am sure that God has put her before me to live my life with her and her alone.

Recently a friend came into town that I had not seen since I graduated highschool and we ended up talking for a long while. I don't know if fear of being in a relationship of this magnitude for the first time in my life, mixed with the anxiety of finally starting toward my goal of following God's plan for me to become a Marine Biologist overtook me and I was unfaithful. I will not be back home until tomorrow and plan on telling her face to face, as I do not want to do it over the phone.

I want to face this in person and be there with her. She has told me before that many situations arise to make people be unfaithful and that she would forgive me. I know she will, but I just can't bare the weight of knowing how much she is going to be crushed tomorrow, after everything in our lives starting falling in to place.

My love for her grows every day, and has never faded. It is a fire burning inside of me that will never be extinguished. I just can not understand how I would be able to do something like this, when I love someone as much as I love her.

 

[LJSGM]

Matthew 16
24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

Is Jesus Lord of your life? Have you repented of your sins, because it doesn't sound like you are free from slavery (to sin)?

If you are seeking just a worldly life, that's all you're going to end up with. But if you seek the kingdom of God and pursue righteousness and you will recieve eternal LIFE.

Here's a link that you might want to read.

http://foru.ms/t5887924-someone-show-me-scripture-on-pre-marital-relations.html

 

[Reic]

I try and live a christian life the way I interpret it. I ask for forgiveness every day, and pray every day. I look at mistakes as life lessons, and this is another one, with a lot more meaning to it.

I am blessed to have a significant other that is understanding and forgiving. I know God has forgivin me for the sin I committed, I am now asking him to stand by me as I ask forgiveness from the woman I love.

 

[LJSGM]

I try and live a christian life the way I interpret it. I ask for forgiveness every day, and pray every day. I look at mistakes as life lessons, and this is another one, with a lot more meaning to it.

I am blessed to have a significant other that is understanding and forgiving. I know God has forgivin me for the sin I committed, I am now asking him to stand by me as I ask forgiveness from the woman I love.

But I didn't ask if you try to live a christian life, I asked you if you follow CHRIST? Do you KNOW him?

1 John 3

6No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

Matthew 7
15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

I'm not trying to judge, but I am trying to make you realise the seriousness of it all. These are not just "lessons".

Matthew 5
29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

1 Corinthians 6
9Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Maybe you should re-examine you life, and perhaps truely repent and live for God. And perhaps I'm going to far, but it's much better to go too far then to be watered down about truth.

 

[Reic]

Thank you for the responses, it has put things into better perspective. I thought I knew God, and thought I was living for him, and doing his will by having many of my prayers granted recently. I thought I was doing what was expected of me.

I will talk with God tonight, I have a lot of questions about myself I would like to be answered, if even just one or two.

 

[trulyliving]

First of all, I think it's great that you decided to come on to this site and seek advice. It's commendable that you are humble enough and recognize the tremendous sin that has been committed. Of course everyone, including everyone on this site is a sinner. Saying we're not is saying we don't need Christ.

One thing that I noticed is that you say you are living with your girlfriend. You may not feel like you want to share how intimate you are with your girlfriend, but a true follower of Christ would know that pre-marital sex is wrong in itself. If you let the devil persuade you that it is okay because you will be marrying your girlfriend eventually and truly love her, there is something there that you need to seek repentence for beyond what happened recently with your high school friend. If pre-marital sex is a bondage in your life, whether it's with someone you plan to eventually marry or someone you were with just once, it is something that is beyond being unfaithful to a fiance. It is something you need to deal with between you and God. It is more serious than your girlfriend getting hurt, because it is about your soul. It is true and heavy that your girlfriend will be hurt. But if you want you and your loved one to truly experience the joys of monotonous relationship through a marriage intended by God, then you may need to step outside yourself and see the tremendous need for you to repent for any bondage before your commit your life with one woman.

It's honorable that you know how much your girlfriend will be crushed. It's honorable if she forgives you. But perhaps you as an individual, and then you as a couple may need to repent of something before the Lord, if you both want to be truly enjoying a blessed marriage in the future.

I hope you see in between the lines of my words to you, that is tough love that I'm trying to carry accross. I was "semi-living with someone" I was with for 3 years before I truly came to the Lord and as soon as I did give my life to Christ, I immediately knew it was wrong. It didn't matter whether we were getting married or not. I just all of a sudden knew it wasn't how God intends us to fall into marriage.

God bless!

 

[madison1101]

Living with a girlfriend is not a lifestyle that is honoring to God, nor is it an indicator that you are living for God. Nor, is sleeping with someone else, or as you say, cheating on her.

I suggest you study what the scripture says about fornication.

 

[Jocklen]

Let me get this straight. You are living with your girlfriend and another girl from highschool came over and you had intimacy with her? I am sorry I am so blunt but I do not understand the situation.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

Well, if she follows the Lord, she'll know that you are truly sorry and forgive you, for if we do not forgive others, how can the Father forgive us? But, really, you need to repent and seek God more than ever. Study his word and get a relationship with him. Pray often to him so that he may keep you from vile tempations. Pray also for the girl who you were intimate with that she finds Christ also.

 

[mswrite]

I would like to offer this prayer from the book Lies We Tell Ourselves by Greg Laurie:

Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. But I believe that you died on the cross for my sins and paid the price for every wrong I have ever done. I turn from that sin right now and ask You to be my Savior, my Lord, My God and my Friend. Help me to resist temptation and walk in Your will from this moment forward. Thank You for hearing this prayer, and that I am now forgiven. I pray these things in the name of Jesus, amen.

On a very practical note, I'd like to add that if being around other women (or having a long, intimate conversation with one) is a temptation for you, then simply don't put yourself in a position where you're set up to fail. You could have had coffee with your friend in a public place and then said goodbye. Or you could have not met with her at all. Whatever works.

 

[sinneD]

Reic..

ok, you messed up big time.. big time..

Now you need to take corrective action..

I would print the post you made - exactly as you posted it - and give it to her (in person). I think it says it all.

Then you need to have an honest discussion with both her and yourself about this relationship.

If this is the person who you feel is your life long partner, your help mate, your soul mate - then you need to make a personal commitment to both her and God.

God isn't interested in our man made ceremonies. He is interested in the commitments of our heart. This does not have to be in a marriage ceremony, but I would strongly suggest that.

But regardless of how you do it, you need to make that commitment to both her and God. But understand this - a commitment is a serious thing, not to be broken. Heed scripture on making promises to God and then keeping those promises.

PM or e-mail me if you want to discuss further

Dennis

 

[renewhope]

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