Friendship/Romance

[mjcecomc]

i've known a girl from church for a couple of years now. We have been pretty close friends for the last year or so. She had a tough break up a while ago, prob about 8 months ago and i was one of the friends who really helped her through that time

i guess in the last couple of months our relationship has gone on to a different level. We'd been speaking a lot and spending more and more time together. then, a few weeks ago she initiated the conversation about dating....that she wanted us to take it slowly but to start dating.

i wasn't 100% certain because of the friendship but thought if we're taking it slowly, it should be fine. Things have already started to move quite fast after a couple of weeks, mainly because she was really pushing to meet up all the time. i havent put any pressure on her

just i was starting to think this was developing nicely, she starts to freak out. shes now saying she isn't certain how committed she is, that maybe shes not ready for things to develop further

i've agreed to let her have some space so she can sort her head out. it seems strange she's had this change in attitude. shes been calling me, texting me and e-mailing me all the time until now. I've been here before, where there is confusion in a relationship and it doesn't usually end well in my experience

Any advice would be appreciated

 

[K9_Trainer]

I don't think you've done anything wrong. It sounds like perhaps she wasn't as ready for a relationship as she thought she was. Sounds like being committed has spooked her a little and she may be worried about "missing out" on something else. If that's the case, you'll just have to wait and see. Either she'll grow up and settle into the commitment, or she won't and she'll break it off.

 

[allthatisgone]

i hate that kind of situation. such a waste of energy and time.

listen to Paul. life should be simple. focus on God. live your life well. let God deal w/ her and others.

 

[The Nihilist]

i've known a girl from church for a couple of years now. We have been pretty close friends for the last year or so. She had a tough break up a while ago, prob about 8 months ago and i was one of the friends who really helped her through that time

i guess in the last couple of months our relationship has gone on to a different level. We'd been speaking a lot and spending more and more time together. then, a few weeks ago she initiated the conversation about dating....that she wanted us to take it slowly but to start dating.

i wasn't 100% certain because of the friendship but thought if we're taking it slowly, it should be fine. Things have already started to move quite fast after a couple of weeks, mainly because she was really pushing to meet up all the time. i havent put any pressure on her

just i was starting to think this was developing nicely, she starts to freak out. shes now saying she isn't certain how committed she is, that maybe shes not ready for things to develop further

i've agreed to let her have some space so she can sort her head out. it seems strange she's had this change in attitude. shes been calling me, texting me and e-mailing me all the time until now. I've been here before, where there is confusion in a relationship and it doesn't usually end well in my experience

Any advice would be appreciated

Ok, let's powow for a minute. Here are some facts you need to know:

1. Do not ask women for advice about women. Women do not know how to date women.

2. You need to make yourself less available to her. Don't text her back. If she calls, let the phone ring a while.

3. If you're less available, you're doing two things. You're giving her the space she needs, and more importantly, you're making her like you more. I don't know why it works that way, but it does.

4. Women hate this advice, but it works. You're not screwing with her. You're not sending her mixed signals. This is what is called "game," and it's how you attract hot girls.

 

[d-11even]

I don't think you've done anything wrong. It sounds like perhaps she wasn't as ready for a relationship as she thought she was. Sounds like being committed has spooked her a little and she may be worried about "missing out" on something else. If that's the case, you'll just have to wait and see. Either she'll grow up and settle into the commitment, or she won't and she'll break it off.

Totally agree.

You've been there for her and it doesnt seem like you've done anything to make her have a change in her attitude. If she brought up the commitment problem, then it would be... safer to keep your feelings for her under control. This might sound strange, but why is she afraid of commitment? Maybe asking her that would bring out something for you to help her out on.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Ok, let's powow for a minute. Here are some facts you need to know:

1. Do not ask women for advice about women. Women do not know how to date women.

2. You need to make yourself less available to her. Don't text her back. If she calls, let the phone ring a while.

3. If you're less available, you're doing two things. You're giving her the space she needs, and more importantly, you're making her like you more. I don't know why it works that way, but it does.

4. Women hate this advice, but it works. You're not screwing with her. You're not sending her mixed signals. This is what is called "game," and it's how you attract hot girls.

 

[Sunburst]

Go back to being friends until she is past her scared self. It sounds like she's not even ready to start again. Don't get hurt.