Friends?

[Bambo]

Hi, wondering if anyone can advise me on what is best to do here.

To put it simply, my closest friend and I would do almost everything together including many acts of service for God. However, almost overnight he decided that he didn't want to have anything to do with me. My thinking behind this is that his lady-friend doesn't like him to spend time with me (although that's another issue!). He wouldn't speak to me and even though I made every effort to call him and to go to him and sort things out. Anyway, recently he apologised and we are on better terms now (but not like before). My problem is that he didn't give me any reasons for waht happened only that he was being an idiot and I struggle to put it behind me. I find myself becoming bitter about it because what's to say he wont just do it again? This isn't the first time it's happened and if I bring uit up with him I wouldn't be surprised if he just gives up putting any effort in at all.

Thanx

 

[allieisme]

Hmm,
Well I definitely think this is question worthy again to ask your friend. How long have you been friends with him? and how long has he been dating his "lady friend" She more than likely played a major role in him not hanging out or talking with you as much, and I would bet that maybe they arent together anymore and thats why he is coming around and wanting to be friends again with you, because he doesnt have her to lean on. Does that make sense? and let me know if I'm way off base here too..

 

[loveisallyouneed]

Well, perhaps he and his girlfriend for the comfort of their own relationship, felt it was best for him to distance himself from you. I personally think it's a little juvenile since I would never expect my fiance to drop all of his female friends because of me, and yet either way he should have at least explained this to you.

Another possibility is that he may like you, maybe he resented being with someone else when perhaps there's a chance he'd rather be with you in a romantic relationship. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but you never know.

It all boils down to communication, share your feelings in a non-confrontational matter, and see what he has to say.

 

[Aijin]

I can't make a good guess as to what happened, but as for what you can do...

True, real friendship is about trust. So i would tell you to put your trust in your friendship. Tell him exactly how you feel. But obviously something is up... maybe he's ashamed about his reason and is afraid that if he tells you, it will make things worse. But whatever the reason, as a friend you should also be patient and understanding that this may be just as hard for him.

Be his friend because you want to be his friend, not because you want him to be your friend. Do you see the difference?

 

[Bambo]

Hmm,
Well I definitely think this is question worthy again to ask your friend. How long have you been friends with him? and how long has he been dating his "lady friend" She more than likely played a major role in him not hanging out or talking with you as much, and I would bet that maybe they arent together anymore and thats why he is coming around and wanting to be friends again with you, because he doesnt have her to lean on. Does that make sense? and let me know if I'm way off base here too..

I've been friends with this guy for 10 years. He is definitely still with his girlfriend. However, I don't think you're entirely off the mark because it has seemed to me that he's been friendly when there's something in it for him. Sometimes I think I'd be better to give up, but I really care about him.

 

[Bambo]

Well, perhaps he and his girlfriend for the comfort of their own relationship, felt it was best for him to distance himself from you. I personally think it's a little juvenile since I would never expect my fiance to drop all of his female friends because of me, and yet either way he should have at least explained this to you.

Another possibility is that he may like you, maybe he resented being with someone else when perhaps there's a chance he'd rather be with you in a romantic relationship. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but you never know.

It all boils down to communication, share your feelings in a non-confrontational matter, and see what he has to say.

I think it may be important for me to point out that I am male, and I therefore don't think that the 'romantic relationship' issue is too likely.

 

[JesusInMyHeart]

Dear friend "Give it all to the Lord"...

God Bless

 

[allieisme]

Some people are just like that though, they can only give their attention to one person at a time, know what I mean? It's like they'll hang out with you, if there isnt something better to do.. I'm not trying to sound rude or anything, don't take it that way, or that I mean your no fun to hang out with, because I'm sure your fun, but I think in general, some people are just like that..and when nothing seems to be going on with them or their relationship their in, or even need advice is when they turn to the one they know will always be there..