Friend's son committed suicide

[graceskr]

A couple at church talked to me several times over the past few months about the husband's 24 year old son. The husband's first wife was bipolar and the son was showing signs (excessive spending, drinking, anger, etc.). I talked with them about the need to convince him to see a good psychiatrist, but didn't think about stressing the high suicide rate.

The son committed suicide a couple of weeks ago. I was out of town and couldn't go to the funeral. When I talked with my friends at church this morning I told the dad that I'd been where the son was and to not blame himself. He said, "I didn't know it was so serious". I feel guilty about not stressing the risk of suicide to them (crying while typing).

 

[berry2000]

Hi Grace,
I am so sorry to hear about this. So sad. If you feel led i would definately start speaking out about it. There are so many who suffer in silence. Afraid to seek help. Afraid to be honest about their feelings. That was me for ten years that was my life. I wished someone could have helped me when i was younger.

Weird today in church i was sitting there thinking i need to share my testimony. I need to talk about this disorder in church and share how God is using it to bring me closer to him. Scary thing to do though. But i think you should definately speak out. Unfortunately you can't save that young man but you can help others.

 

[rushingwind62]

You go girl! There are too many that are uneducated about BP and many go undiagnoised. I am sorry to hear your friends son commited suicide and our prayers are with you and his family.

 

[goldenviolet]

hitting my bi-polar lows are awful. no one really understands except our doctors. the very first sign of non-managing skills, or break-throughs, you should be at your doctor's, crisis center or emergency room. these back up plans are a must. your family needs to know the signs of your conditions, to keep an eye out for you when you don't see it comming. do anything you need to to keep yourself and family safe.

this is a very sad thread. my dad commited suicide too.
both parents are bi-polar. some of my kids are. this is a very serious topic. ask a doctor, counselor or clergy to help you write out an emergency plan. if it's written, you won't forget it. keep it on you at all times. include doctor's phones etc.

~ love and prayers, dee

 

[Alive again]

A couple at church talked to me several times over the past few months about the husband's 24 year old son. The husband's first wife was bipolar and the son was showing signs (excessive spending, drinking, anger, etc.). I talked with them about the need to convince him to see a good psychiatrist, but didn't think about stressing the high suicide rate.

The son committed suicide a couple of weeks ago. I was out of town and couldn't go to the funeral. When I talked with my friends at church this morning I told the dad that I'd been where the son was and to not blame himself. He said, "I didn't know it was so serious". I feel guilty about not stressing the risk of suicide to them (crying while typing).

When our mutual friend called me a couple of weeks ago and told me about the death, I felt like I should start speaking about bipolar. I've done public speaking for work and it's something I'm comfortable with; I'm comfortable as well about talking about my disease. After church today, I got a strong feeling again that I should be educating people about the dangers of bipolar disoder. I guess I need to be open now for God to open doors.

(Most of you may wonder who I am ...it's been about a year since I've posted here.)

Praying for you and your friends. What a difficult thing for all of you. Gracskr, here the truth of these words. You had no way of knowing how the son was coping. It is even possible that you speaking up about this risk may not have changed this outcome at all. Rest in the peace and knowledge that God knew and was with this young man.

Yes, it is amazing to have people speak up about this illness. I am a member of In Our Own Voice and have spoken in public about this before. Different audiences. I have wanted to work more in the churches, but God has not opened that door yet. Know that this is desperately needed, but not always greeted with open arms. God will give you the opportunities and the strength to do and say what you have been called to do! So as rushing wind said. . . YOU go girl!!!

 

[graceskr]

Thanks all for the encouragment. I know it's a matter of being open to speaking when and where the Lord opens doors. I've spoken at large conferences professionally, so I feel like the Lord will use me to make a difference with the gifts and experiences he's blessed me with.

You had no way of knowing how the son was coping. It is even possible that you speaking up about this risk may not have changed this outcome at all. Rest in the peace and knowledge that God knew and was with this young man.

Thank you!!! I know what you say is true, but I still wish I'd told them of just how high the suicide rate is for untreated bipolar. The son was in denial ...my telling his dad and the dad telling his son wouldn't have made a difference in that way. But I know my friend would've watched more closely and possibly have had his son committed (the family is very wealthy and could've gotten him the best of care).

We can't undo something like this sad death, but I'll always have the regret of not giving his dad more information.

 

[Ramona]

I can't really add much more onto what the others have said here, but I'm praying for you and your friends at this harrowing time. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now, but you're right, bipolar is serious and if you feel your calling is to educate people about it, then by all means you should do that.

Your courage here is really inspiring.

~Hallie