Something that happened very recently made me learn something about myself and about what is really important to me. I'd like to tell you about it and find out what you as Christians think. I'll be doing the same thing in the Non-Christian section.
I used to be a committed evangelical christian and my wife still is. Despite the changes that have happened to me, our relationship has thankfully become even stronger. We have 5 sons and one foster son.
My wife goes to an evangelical church across the road (she is there as I write) and 2 of my sons go too. All the boys have been given the choice to do as they wish in this regard.
A few days ago one of my sons (aged 14) suffered some hair loss, and I took him to the doctors. The main thing the doctor asked my son was whether he had been feeling stressed about anything, as this was often a cause of hair loss. He is taking blood tests as well.
Anyway, on leaving I asked my son who is an intelligent, sensitive, and usually confident boy (youll have to trust a doting Dad on that one) if he had been feeling stressed about something. I had in fact noticed a difference recently, but until this moment had not got any feedback about his feelings. He started to talk, and as he did he started to cry.
It turned out that he was anxious about the contradictions between some of the things he hears in church, and some things that he was hearing about what science says about the world. Although he didnt say as much, it is possible that he was also concerned about the conflict between how all this affects how he relates to his mum and dad. It became clear that he hadnt made his mind up about anything but was feeling confused, and perhaps a little scared.
We ended up having a lovely time together. I told him, in a struggling for words sought of way (as I have always tried to tell all the boys) that he should always feel free to question anything I say. Or anyone else for that matter. That I loved him whatever he believed or thought. That I knew his mum felt the same (she still loves me for goodness sake!) That he is the boss of his brain. That it wasnt a bad thing to not understand something. That he should never feel scared to think his own thoughts. That making our own minds up about stuff was a big responsibility, but it is one that we should cherish. That not knowing the answers isnt a bad thing. And I gave him (not an opportunity you always get with teenage boys) a massive cuddle! I think this is stuff that any loving parent would say and do in similar circumstances.
Ironically this whole area is something that had been concerning me recently, even before it became so personal. Whatever we believe or think about the world....and I mean whatever....shouldnt we make it a priority that our children come to their own conclusions about life...in freedom? When strong messages are being given out around them, shouldnt we hold them and say with all the conviction and love we possess: These are only the opinions of fragile human beings. You feel free as a bird to take them or leave them. There is lots of life and opinion out there in the world...go out, explore, and make up your own mind.
I guess Id be interested to discover if you feel the same as me about all of this. Thanks for any input.
I used to be a committed evangelical christian and my wife still is. Despite the changes that have happened to me, our relationship has thankfully become even stronger. We have 5 sons and one foster son.
My wife goes to an evangelical church across the road (she is there as I write) and 2 of my sons go too. All the boys have been given the choice to do as they wish in this regard.
A few days ago one of my sons (aged 14) suffered some hair loss, and I took him to the doctors. The main thing the doctor asked my son was whether he had been feeling stressed about anything, as this was often a cause of hair loss. He is taking blood tests as well.
Anyway, on leaving I asked my son who is an intelligent, sensitive, and usually confident boy (youll have to trust a doting Dad on that one) if he had been feeling stressed about something. I had in fact noticed a difference recently, but until this moment had not got any feedback about his feelings. He started to talk, and as he did he started to cry.
It turned out that he was anxious about the contradictions between some of the things he hears in church, and some things that he was hearing about what science says about the world. Although he didnt say as much, it is possible that he was also concerned about the conflict between how all this affects how he relates to his mum and dad. It became clear that he hadnt made his mind up about anything but was feeling confused, and perhaps a little scared.
We ended up having a lovely time together. I told him, in a struggling for words sought of way (as I have always tried to tell all the boys) that he should always feel free to question anything I say. Or anyone else for that matter. That I loved him whatever he believed or thought. That I knew his mum felt the same (she still loves me for goodness sake!) That he is the boss of his brain. That it wasnt a bad thing to not understand something. That he should never feel scared to think his own thoughts. That making our own minds up about stuff was a big responsibility, but it is one that we should cherish. That not knowing the answers isnt a bad thing. And I gave him (not an opportunity you always get with teenage boys) a massive cuddle! I think this is stuff that any loving parent would say and do in similar circumstances.
Ironically this whole area is something that had been concerning me recently, even before it became so personal. Whatever we believe or think about the world....and I mean whatever....shouldnt we make it a priority that our children come to their own conclusions about life...in freedom? When strong messages are being given out around them, shouldnt we hold them and say with all the conviction and love we possess: These are only the opinions of fragile human beings. You feel free as a bird to take them or leave them. There is lots of life and opinion out there in the world...go out, explore, and make up your own mind.
I guess Id be interested to discover if you feel the same as me about all of this. Thanks for any input.
