A few days ago it was my sons 5th birthday. It was, in many ways, a day of mixed emotions for me - I am a lone parent having separated from my wife.
As you might expect, the day brought back memories of the day he was born - a day that was probably the happiest day of my life. Not only because it was the day a miracle occurred in the form of his birth, but because my heart burned with love for my wife and son more so than at any other time I can remember. We were a family, guardians of something so pure and precious and a golden future stretched out before us.
Reflecting back on the thoughts and feelings of that day, 5 years down the line, it is very easy to feel that I have in many ways failed my son. The family into which he was born that day has been torn apart, the golden future evaporated. These thoughts are compounded by feelings of guilt arising out of my own childhood - my parents split and I swore then that if I ever had children I would make sure that they never had to go through that. When I was fighting to save my marriage it was the thought of this promise that gave me the strength to persevere long after all real hope had gone.
He might not have had the most expensive presents, the biggest party or even both parents yesterday, but I took a very tired and happy boy to bed last night. As I carried him up the stairs he looked at me with his big brown eyes wide open and filled with such pure love and said "Thank you Daddy". "For what" I asked? "My really special day"
Children seemingly demand much from us, yet there is only one thing they really need - our love. His day was "really special" because it was filled with love, and he responded to it in the most beautiful way possible.
We are all guilty in the eyes of God for our sins, and there is only one way to be forgiven for our failings and that is through our love of Him and His son Jesus.
This is echoed in our relationships with our children. How can we not fail something born so precious and pure? Yet because of their pure love for us they only demand our love in return, and it is through this love that we are released from whatever failings we have as parents.
I thank God for the gift of my son, and the gift of being able to bring him up. I also thank God for the gift of love, through which I find forgiveness and absolution from guilt for my weaknesses and failings as a person, a parent and all that I am.
As you might expect, the day brought back memories of the day he was born - a day that was probably the happiest day of my life. Not only because it was the day a miracle occurred in the form of his birth, but because my heart burned with love for my wife and son more so than at any other time I can remember. We were a family, guardians of something so pure and precious and a golden future stretched out before us.
Reflecting back on the thoughts and feelings of that day, 5 years down the line, it is very easy to feel that I have in many ways failed my son. The family into which he was born that day has been torn apart, the golden future evaporated. These thoughts are compounded by feelings of guilt arising out of my own childhood - my parents split and I swore then that if I ever had children I would make sure that they never had to go through that. When I was fighting to save my marriage it was the thought of this promise that gave me the strength to persevere long after all real hope had gone.
He might not have had the most expensive presents, the biggest party or even both parents yesterday, but I took a very tired and happy boy to bed last night. As I carried him up the stairs he looked at me with his big brown eyes wide open and filled with such pure love and said "Thank you Daddy". "For what" I asked? "My really special day"
Children seemingly demand much from us, yet there is only one thing they really need - our love. His day was "really special" because it was filled with love, and he responded to it in the most beautiful way possible.
We are all guilty in the eyes of God for our sins, and there is only one way to be forgiven for our failings and that is through our love of Him and His son Jesus.
This is echoed in our relationships with our children. How can we not fail something born so precious and pure? Yet because of their pure love for us they only demand our love in return, and it is through this love that we are released from whatever failings we have as parents.
I thank God for the gift of my son, and the gift of being able to bring him up. I also thank God for the gift of love, through which I find forgiveness and absolution from guilt for my weaknesses and failings as a person, a parent and all that I am.
It is all meant in a good way.
