Free

[DiceRider]

I also agree the bible is important but its not what led me to jesus.

 

[Joy]

The Bible was written by the Holy Spirit who moved the men to write it. It is the word of God. Including all of those you just mentioned.

The Bible IS a necessary component to faith because God has chosen to use it as His word.

A big ame n to this

we need to read God's Word and allow the Holy Spirit to speak Truth from it to our hrarts this is the only way we can be set free and stay free

 

[Greenleaves]

It's the not the church that has hurt me. It's believing that I ever belong in God's family. I've gone to a Christian counselor and she said I need to see a psychiatrist because I wasn't able to apply what she suggested. The depression is there due to a traumatic event. I read that traumatic or stressful events can cause depression and that's what happened to me. When I dealt with doubting my salvation depression eventually developed. During that time I felt like an outcast around real Christians and those people have now grown as Christians and are blessed. (...)

My counselor said I suffer from an orphan spirit. (...).

I became angry when I read what your Christian counselor said to you. (The blue marking in the quote is made by me). Nobody is an orphan spirit. God is the Father of every one of us, either we believe that or not. This was very clumsy said by your counselor.

He is, however, right in recommending you to seek professional treatment, either a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist. Traumatic and stressful events do cause depression. Either we like it or not, depression is listed as a Mental Illness in the diagnose manual. Depression often interfere with ones ability to relate to Christ. The best one can do when one has it that way, is to get treatment for the disorder and pray much as one at the same time tries to ignore the doubt (or give that doubt to God so he can help to heal it).

It's not an "either/or" but a "both/and". One of the characteristic traits that can follow depression is an either/or view or black/withe thinking. That sort of thinking will pass with good treatment.

Please don't leave God because he is there for you either you feel it or not. When it comes to salvation, we have to understand that only God is perfect. We will probably not reach perfectness in this life, but we will be saved if we believe, try to live as we believe and ask for God's forgiveness when we sin. It is the ability to trust in God that is essential. That ability can be more or less distorted by depression, but it can be regained through professional treatment.

Instead of thinking over and over again about the same topic (saved or not saved), it will probably be more beneficial to learn more about depression. The more you learn about that, the more intersted you will be in focusing on the real problem, your depression.
NIMH · Depression

God be with you!

 

[Greenleaves]

The depression is there due to a traumatic event. I read that traumatic or stressful events can cause depression and that's what happened to me.

I gave you a general link about depression in my last post. It was from NIMH and I think it is informative. In addition to that, may be you need to read about how depression can eat up those with traumatic and stressful events in their luggage:

PTSD & Trauma Help Guide - Helpguide.org

Send my best wishes for your development. Please remember that to seek a Psychologist or Psychiatrist is at the same line as seeking a lung specialist or heart specialist if you suffer from lung problems or some kind of heart disease. If someone has a heart disease she doesn't choose between believing in God and seeking treatment. The same goes for seeking treatment for depression. As I said in my former post, it's not "either/or" but "both/and". Mental illnesses have got a stigma from former days, and that stigma often hinder people who need it to seek professional clinical help. It shouldn't. In former days they didn't know so much about Mental disorders as we do know. That contributed to a lot of suspiciousness and misunderstandings related to suffering people. Don't buy the sayings that persons with MI doesn't have the same value as others. As it was said in the link I gave you from NIMH in the section "Living with": "Do not wait too long to get evaluated or treated. There is research showing the longer one waits, the greater the impairment can be down the road. Try to see a professional as soon as possible."

God bless!

 

[knw1991]

We all have our own gift and some are given, music, teaching, singing etc blah blah etc.... But then there are the unique treasured gifts the ones we cant teach ourselves or be taught except thru brokenness..
The gift of reaching other hurting people, others who feel unloved or unworthy cos of circumstance. I believe that is a gift close to Gods heart cos not just anyone can go and sit with the homeless or the diseased, the drug addict or boozers, the sex addicts, the gamblers without judgement, and he needs people to be able to go there.
He chooses the broken, his special children to do it and sadly that means getting hurt to grow empathy.. That is as much an important plan in our lives as our dreams, maybe more so cos its one that affects others for eternity.
I stopped waiting for the average society "blessings" when i realised that my purpose was simply sharing his heart and loving the lost.

I don't want to be broken all my life for the sake of helping others. I have compassion for them already. If ill be called to live this way I don't want to live
I've given up anyway. I don't know God, he doesn't know me. I don't belong
Ill live life the best I can

 

[knw1991]

I wish I knew how to live and be content with a life of pain. It's nice that God chose me to not have a father, to feel rejection, to suffer depression, to be alone, to have a horrible spiritual life. I guess that was the plan when he wrote the days of my life in his book. This should be a great adventure. what's next? I'm so excited but I should brace myself for the pain

 

[Noxot]

the life of pain only exist until you understand that it is impossible for God to forsake you. now Christians often do not have this mindset and that is why they go on to do such painful things to themselves so much.

 

[Gracelands]

I'm not sure His highest, perfect plan for you was to suffer all that. Other forces come into play. Its a fallen world and we are on occupied territory so to speak... God will make the best of what you have suffered though. Throughout the bible times of testing and trial are followed by times of refreshing and redemption.

Try not to get bitter. Pray against it! Submit yourself to God. Praise His name up. Assert His Power and know that He will lift you up again and 'restore the years the locusts have eaten'.(2:25)

God Bless you and I really pray you can rest into a time of peace with God now not sat there bracing yourself for aggravation.

 

[knw1991]

Thank you both for encouraging words

 

[knw1991]

I all of a sudden stopped caring now I'm at peace

 

[knw1991]

nothing matters anymore I just wish I could detox my mind from all of this and have a new life
I was so much better off before religion became my focus. I want to be released from it all. I've learned to accept the pain and just go on. I know who I am now and I accept it it's been hard to accept it but that will bring some kind of peace in my life instead of wrestling and expecting something different out of life.

 

[knw1991]

nothing matters anymore I just wish I could detox my mind from all of this and have a new life
I was so much better off before religion became my focus. I want to be released from it all. I've learned to accept the pain and just go on. I know who I am now and I accept it it's been hard to accept it but that will bring some kind of peace in my life instead of wrestling and expecting something different out of life.

 

[Criada]

It sounds as though you are exhausted sweetie
It's ok to take a break, stop torturing yourself with unrealistic expectations and just be you.
God isn't going anywhere - he loves you and understands. I will keep praying that you will come to really know that love - but that isn't something you can make yourself feel.
Please don't vanish though - you are very welcome here whatever you believe or don't believe

 

[knw1991]

It sounds as though you are exhausted sweetie
It's ok to take a break, stop torturing yourself with unrealistic expectations and just be you.
God isn't going anywhere - he loves you and understands. I will keep praying that you will come to really know that love - but that isn't something you can make yourself feel.
Please don't vanish though - you are very welcome here whatever you believe or don't believe

Thank you Criada. I want to release myself from this, it's gone on too long. I'm tired of trying to figure things out. If pain is my purpose for living I would rather god say so instead of letting me feel hope then it fading away. I have not found God to be a father, to be love or anything others have personally experienced. If its because of some unforgivable sin, or if I'm just worthless, I wish I knew the answer. I through in the towel, I don't want to know anymore. I've accepted the illness and the hurt, and the fact that I'm worthless. I've experienced nothing but rejection. The youth conference I went to proved that I didn't belong as I watched others get their breakthrough and my classmates who are Christian are experiencing even more blessings and a closeness with God. Two are engaged and come from Christian homes with fathers. It's like I was created with the intent of being hurt. I look at them and see everything ill never have. I wish I could express to God how done and over this I am. I'm tired of being rejected, I'm tired of trying to pick up my spiritual life by praying and pleading with God to sustain me and give me hope to live on. I'm tired of getting lost in my thoughts and remembering that the father I was supposed to have was never there. I look like him and I'm so ugly. I've accepted that I could never be loved anyone because no one would ever find anything worth loving in me. I'm living in a mental hell but I don't even care about trying to escape anymore. I don't feel anything anymore.

 

[Gracelands]

It seems like you've found an oasis of peace in that surrender. Enjoy it while you can. Everything changes though. I want to give up sometimes too. Often! But i know there's a land of milk and honey for me. The Kingdom of Heaven.. If you have His Holy Spirit you have a slice of it and assurance that you will come fully into your inheritance as a Son of God.

Ed: This was to your former post sorry. Just reading the latest.

 

[knw1991]

I'm ready to die

 

[Spunkn]

You're not worthless, you're not ugly (I can say that, since I've seen your picture), and you're definately not hopeless. I still have a lot of hope for you

 

[knw1991]

Thank you spunkn

 

[Spunkn]

How have you been doing?

 

[knw1991]

I was doing well at first now I'm feeling sad and it feels like God isn't there. I can never find him in my life, maybe I'm just not saved. If I was saved I would feel the Holy Spirit comforting me. I feel like God is through with me. I don't know my purpose and I'm afraid that everything I've gone through will be in vain