Free

[Jeshu]

I was doing well at first now I'm feeling sad and it feels like God isn't there. I can never find him in my life, maybe I'm just not saved. If I was saved I would feel the Holy Spirit comforting me. I feel like God is through with me. I don't know my purpose and I'm afraid that everything I've gone through will be in vain

No dear struggling sister with depression it isn't like that. You can't feel God, or at least you can't trust your feelings to feel God when you are depressed. I made that mistake as well in the past - and I know that life becomes torture when you think you ought to feel God but you don't.

Life with God is about knowing God. Please know that He loves you! Please know that He cares about you! Please know that everyone who believes in Christ is saved.

Knowing God is very much safer than feeling God. The Bible says that knowing the truth shall set us free.

To feel good has to do with our emotions, but when we are depressed then our good emotions are dead, this is why it seems that God isn't there - just a black hole in our heart.

To know the truth has to do with believing and understanding that The Word is true - not with feeling that The Word is true - that is why knowing the truth sets us free from our misery - for we can know God even when we can't feel God:o

Honestly knowing God makes us stronger than depression can bring to bear, for our faith becomes stronger than relying on our feeling world.

I know that God loves you, and I know that you are saved believing in Jesus. 1 John 3:16 says so and I know that what The Word says is true!

Be of good courage.

 

[Spunkn]

That doesn't mean you're not saved. There are times when I feel like God is very far away. All Christians go through times like that. God's not done with you.

 

[Noxot]

have you tried to stop thinking and push your entire being to God? have you ever tried for even 30 mins to do nothing but wait on God to show himself to you? lift up your soul to God in complete silence, maybe with desire or trust or hope or even despair if that is what you feel, grasping for God in darkness that speaks no words and you can feel him if you wait. feel God inside of your heart or in the stillness of your mind, he is there because you can't even exist without him. so find this foundation of endless comfort that is God in the depths and core of your being. this 'nothing' is Gods silence which then sometimes turns into a loud shout. do not give up on giving time to God because we are told to seek and we shall find, if we pay attention to our hurt feelings and evil thoughts then we reap what we sow, so do not give evil rule over you, stand strong by pressing all your being to God and letting nothing get in your way, not even yourself. Gods love is real and when you are silent and seeking with one purpose of mind to be with God you will find him. not believing otherwise is nothing more than calling God a liar, so instead of going through all kinds of patterns such as 'God does not love you' or 'God is not there for me' or 'I want X' or 'i feel X' I suggest you try hard to take time to completely shut yourself down and only desire God. it is not even trying hard though, it is more like to stop trying completely and have rest in him, truly surrendering to him like a little lamb who is hopeless and helpless without his protector and comforter.

to be united to God in ecstasy or enstasis is a free gift of God that the mystics speak about. just try to completely open yourself up to receiving God, not trying to think at all but just ready to receive God and he will let you know what he feels and thinks about you and everyone through your own being that he is united to and you will come to realize it more and more and you will have peace that the world can not have, because it does not know God or take time to be united to him, which truly is the chief thing to do in this life and God is the fuel that everyone needs to do Godly works. 'God is love' is as simple as I can put it and to be united to pure love is what real salvation is. so don't believe anything that contradicts God because it only serves to hinder you from being with God.

God lives inside of you so find him.

 

[jamesup7777]

What a post Noxot. Thank you for those amazing words. I will try and put them to practice.
God Bless
Jim

 

[knw1991]

It seems like I have to depend on myself to be happy. I don't know how to know God as a father figure. All I have are the shambles of my life, all the failures and disappointments. We are put here to get through it alone it seems. Whatever cards life has given us we have to deal with and survive on our own. Why even try to be good if its got me nowhere but depressed. I'll never know why simply wanting to be saved lead me to depression because God never reached out to me when I cried and told him many times I wasn't sure if I was saved. My life would probably be better if I just stopped caring, if I stopped trying to be good and just ceased every opportunity to love and have fun. the future had nothing in store for me because I don't think God is involved nor concerned about my future. I'm in this alone. I hate my room, it's where depression takes over me. Its s dark place. I'm all alone and empty inside

 

[Spunkn]

Are there any activities that you enjoy doing outside of your room?

 

[knw1991]

Walking. I know God is not with me. I thought he was because when I went to the hospital for depression I felt like there was a purpose for me meeting the other patients there. I felt at peace and like I could be myself. At home I'm surrounded by people who are willing to help but don't understand what I feel. Being in the real world just reminds me of everything that's wrong and that I can't change it. Whenever I find a source of happiness it's either not good for me or will end up causing me pain. Nothing constant and good can ever come into my life. I don't care about salvation or anything anymore. It's only caused pain and the reality is that there is no room or time for my problems. The short answer is get over it. I feel safer living my own life than praying and hoping that God will hear or care enough about me and my hurts and my future. I dislike the stupid father he gave me and how messed up the circumstances he allowed me to born into. He didn't forget about others when he gave out fathers. I've been overlooked again and again. I don't care about trying to reach God or praying or anything.
Even during my worst times of feeling like giving up he was not there. If I didn't save myself by going into the ER I wouldn't be here today. I'm done with all of this trying and going back.

 

[knw1991]

I shouldn't expect anything from God I'm not deserving and i haven't followed him and given my all. I just don't want to wrestle with this anymore.

 

[Jeshu]

I shouldn't expect anything from God I'm not deserving and i haven't followed him and given my all. I just don't want to wrestle with this anymore.

You don't have to wrestle with this any more. You are allowed to be a sinner, I am, I fall far short, and yet in faith God sees me as clean, Jesus is the way not your own efforts at doing it right.

To love God, neighbour and yourself is right.

Please do it, let His love set you free, even to suffer for the truth. It is what you need to get better again.

 

[StassiT]

I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to open your heart to trust God. I have also dealt with depression, maybe for as long as I can remember. My father was extremely inconsistent in my life, even now that I'm an adult he continues to be. One day I was worshiping at church and this thought came to me, that its ok if my earthly father failed me, because I have my heavenly Father who will never fail me. I'm not saying that it doesn't still hurt, because it does. However, everyday I trust that things will make sense to me eventually because God is in control. Walking with Jesus is a walk for a reason, not a race.
I agree with a lot of the other posters that you should seek professional help, take walks, read and distract your mind a little. God makes everything beautiful in His time.

 

[knw1991]

I have got professional help and I try to do other things to distract my mind but it all comes back eventually. I just wish God would release whatever piece of me he has left. I keep going back thinking things will get better or that there's a greater purpose for it all but I always take many steps backward.

 

[Spunkn]

You have to give it time. Serious depression is not something you're going to beat in a couple weeks, or even a couple months. It's going to take quite a while and you may even take some steps backward. But that doesn't mean it's not working.

I still think medication would be worth a try.

 

[knw1991]

I just need to release myself from Christianity because it equals nothing but depression. Thank you all for your help but I can't and won't do this anymore. It's affecting my mental health, it's torture. I hope you all have a great year and many blessings. Love Kendra

 

[Spunkn]

Sorry to hear you say that, but you know how to contact me whenever you need help. I'll still keep praying for you.

 

[knw1991]

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] God. He is useless anyway. He's just an egomaniac who claims to be good and love people but yet people are being murdered,raped and starving every day. You're lucky if you're one of his favorites. I hate him and Jesus and the piece of crap "father" he gave me.