Hi Mary, and welcome to the CF!
Ok, having started a post before I knew this thread was here... Rather than begin a whole new discussion, I hope folks won't mind if I respond to this.
I am deeply disturbed at how few actual Scriptures I've seen referenced in 8 pages of discussion. Until I came to CF, I was completely unfamiliar with the teachings of Calvin, and had never heard of Armenian (spelling?).
Well, yes it's certainly good practice to share Scripture whenever possible. I think that at times though, for those who have discussed these issues at length with one another, we're already familiar with which passages we're discussing, so may not take the time to post them so often. This is something to reconsider though, as it is always good to have the Scriptures here to read as well.
I didn't know much of the details of Calvinism vs. Arminianism either before I came to CF. Coming here kinda forced me to research them a bit, and I'm glad I did. I'd always been taught that Calvinism was some kind of evil cult or something. But guess what... it's not at all. In fact I believe it is a more accurate and deeper view of God's sovereignty, now that I understand it better. Now true, issues like these should not cause us to break fellowship. But at the same time, it is good to discuss them so that we can lean and force ourselves to ask the hard questions.
All I know of God is from the Bible. I do read Bible scholars and great Christian thinkers, but for truth, I believe we have to look to the Scriptures.
Pre-destination does not make sense to me in light of the verse that says he "is not willing that even one should be lost". (I'll have to look it up for the exact wording.)
OK, but does that mean you are a Universalist? If not, then you know that some are indeed lost. The question is how and why. But even more important - how and why
any of us are saved, since we are all deserving of eternal damnation.
I wonder if some posters here know how it sounds to new believers and those of us who don't accept pre-destination when you say things like "base your view of God on the Bible". Statements like these seem to imply that my view of God is somehow less valid than yours, that I am "wrong" in thinking that a truly Just and Loving God, a Holy God Who keeps His covenant, is unchanging and consistent.
I would hope that we all look to the Scriptures to form doctrine instead of basing it on what some stranger said on a forum. In fact I don't recommend forums for new believers at all because anyone can slap on a Christian icon and teach all kinds of heresies. I see it every day. That's not exactly solid discipleship.
It also caught my eye that you mentioned God keeping His covenants. You may be very surprised to learn that that's actually a big part of Reformed theology.
The same God Who allowed free-will to happen in the Garden is the same God Who allows people to choose Hell.
God's love, God's consistency, means that He will accept their choice, even though His love would not see them turn away. He will not change His view on sin, will not force them to turn to Him.
If God chose me, and not my sister, how can I love Him? If He, Who claims to love her more than I can comprehend, picked me, leaving behind my husband, how can I embrace Him as a good and loving God? These are serious questions, and I require an explanation which does not rely on the teachings of any church Leader, no matter how brilliant, but on the Scripture which is the basis and foundation of my faith.
Rejoicing in the day,
-Mary
Well, first of all, Calvinism never suggests that we know who is the elect and who is not. If your sister is not currently a believer, you cannot EVER just assume that she is not elect. You don't know. I also urge you to consider God's whole character, not just that He is Love. He is also Holy and Just. And we are fallen creatures, unworthy of entering into His presence. So, that He saves any of us at all is incredible grace and love. It is not something any of us deserves on our own.
A lot of people who have never really researched the Reformed doctrines of grace tend to assume that Calvinists are all just a bunch of elitist kooks or something. But I encourage you to reserve judgment on that until you have researched the actual doctrines for yourself, if you feel so inclined to. I highly recommend RC Sproul's "Chosen by God". It's a light overview of and a fairly quick read. Whether you agree with it or not in the end, at least you can then have a better understanding of it.