Four weeks down the drain

[Loopi]

Four weeks gone. I was just so angry. And now it turns out that the thing that made me angry may just have been a case of crosssed wires, and man do i feel bad now. Its really making me regret cutting, but at the same time, now ive started again, i am so much more at ease, so less stressed and angry. I just feel better, yet really feel bad for blowing four weeks. Stupid me. stupid stupid me. And Eliot is gonna go spare if he sees or feels the cuts. great.

 

[Cerulean_Butterfly]

It's ok... everyone falls... you just have to get up, brush off and start moving again... one step at a time... ok? Hang in there, hun. You're loved.

 

[oneandlonely]

Oh hun I have been there You have to look at this anouther way. You didn't Blow 4 weeks, you MADE IT 4 weeks. Good job! Hun, I know that it is hard, but don't beat your self up about it. You have to think of this 4 weeks as you victory. I am here if you ever need someone to talk to

 

[els_bells]

It is not 4 weeks down the drain. You did really well to get that far and you'll do it again. Keep your head up and don't get down that you slipped up. I know it feels better to cut but in the long run it really isn't the best way.
xxxxxxx

 

[Loopi]

Thanks guys. Im really struggling with everything now. This guy Eliot is great, but with things in my past its a HUGE step for me to allow him to hug me etc. He keeps telling me im beautiful, which is really lush, but its pushing me back into making myself sick etc, because i dont believe i am beautiful. I made myself sick today (not smart as i am already ill and throwing up) and now my throat burns twice as bad. It sucks.
I know you guys are right, that this is a four week victory. But it feels like a waste of four weeks. I dont feel ready to stand up and try again, i dont feel like i can ever stand up and try again. *sigh* really feel like ive been knocked flat on all this.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

You didn't fail.
You made it for 4 weeks.
That rocks.

 

[SparkyMel]

You've got this far once, so you can do it again
We're rooting for you
Keep going, and when you feel bad, feel free to pm me and I'll see what I can do. I've been there...
God loves you and will support you so hang in there.

 

[Loopi]

Thanks everyone, am starting to get back on my feet after falling, this is hard, i keep cutting, and i seem to be addicted to it again, i feel like i need to do this in order to keep a stable mind frame. My weeks quite tough, so many stresses and strains on me that right now i could do without, but God is with me and helping me to get back up again. I just wish that selfharm wasnt so addictive.