Forgiving 'correctly'?

[Kehaar]

Hi all

Several months ago I was let down by someone very close to me and, in many ways, I am still suffering because of what he did. I cut off all contact with him when this happened and had no intention of getting in contact with him again.

5 weeks ago I was saved. I have felt that I was saved because of what happened - I was so upset by it that I truely sought God for the first time in my life, and He found me. In the past 2 weeks I have felt very much 'pushed' to contact this ex-friend and let him know he is forgiven.

I have discussed this with a few people and have got a variety of responses, ranging from you shouldn't forgive him to forgive him and forget him....he doesn't need to know.

My personal view is that I must let him know he is forgiven - I feel that is what God wants me to do. Perhaps it is for my own sake, so I know that I can forgive him and move on or perhaps he does need to know.. (?)

My question is do you need to let someone know they're forgiven?

Thanks,

Astral

 

[Momzilla]

If you feel that you should contact him and tell him you forgive him, then by all means do so.

 

[Techbot]

I'd have to say it depends on the situation. He may feel as if your comments about forgiving him somehow place the fault on him. He may also feel as if you're acting "holier than thou" even though you're being sincere and honest with him.
If you feel you MUST tell him he's forgiven do so carefully and thoughtfully.

 

[humblegyrl]

You don't have to say, "You are forgiven." You can go back to talking to him, and maybe even being friends again. There are times when people have hurt me, but when I forgave them, I didn't tell them that they were forgiven... and they never said they were sorry. It was like a mutual understanding. Things gradually came together like nothing had ever happened. That's the beauty of friendship.

 

[Rafael]

We always have to forgive, but this doesn't mean that we have to make contact with a predator type person and put ourselfs foolishly back in danger. As Techbot has offered, the situation depends for contact, but we always have to realize that forgiveness is necessary for us to be forgiven and can be done in the heart with confession and prayer.

However, If the person isn't dangerous, then contact them and be light to them as an example of God forgiveness towards you.

 

[Yitzchak]

It is not a rule from the bible that you have to tell the person that you have forgiven them. Forgiving them fully is a good thing to do of course. I would say that telling them you forgive them is part of a reconciliation process and it really does depend on where you wnat the relationship to go from here.