Forgiveness

[dancergurl]

this is my first post so i hope i do this right-
definately my biggest challenge in my faith is forgiveness my parents just recently got divorced because i have and abusive father i pray everyday and ask god to help me forgive him but its really hard. while i dont like saying it i truly hate my father for what he did to me and my mom i know forgiveness is what god wants but to be hurt by someone u trust with ur life makes it really hard to forgive i still have not forgiven my father but im on my way there my mom keeps my faith alive she reminds me that god and her will love me no matter what through out the last year i have been through a lot i have not beleived in god at all at times i have cut my self and thought about suicide then i realized that thats not how to get rid of my pain thanks to my mom i beleive in god and have a really strong faith if any one knows any way that would help me forgive my father please let me know thanks!

 

[JCChick]

this is my first post so i hope i do this right-
definately my biggest challenge in my faith is forgiveness my parents just recently got divorced because i have and abusive father i pray everyday and ask god to help me forgive him but its really hard. while i dont like saying it i truly hate my father for what he did to me and my mom i know forgiveness is what god wants but to be hurt by someone u trust with ur life makes it really hard to forgive i still have not forgiven my father but im on my way there my mom keeps my faith alive she reminds me that god and her will love me no matter what through out the last year i have been through a lot i have not beleived in god at all at times i have cut my self and thought about suicide then i realized that thats not how to get rid of my pain thanks to my mom i beleive in god and have a really strong faith if any one knows any way that would help me forgive my father please let me know thanks!

i understand that you gone through alot this past year, and yet i will never understand what it is like looking through your eyes. no matter what we go through, no that me an e will always be there for you.

luv ya DG
JCC

 

[Dondi]

I commend you for your desire to forgive your father for abusing you. But is he still abusing you? If so, you need to get out from that situation, because no matter how many times your forgive him, it doesn't mean that he won't continue. Yes, you can gather strength from God and from you mother, but if she is going to be supportive, then she needs to get you away from your father, at least for a time, or else he will continue to wear you down and you will just become more miserable.

God does love you, dancergirl, and He will help you and give you strength to bear. NEVER give up hope in God. Go to Him with all your sorrows and He will lift up up.

And If you really care for your father, you need to distance yourself from him so he won't abuse you anymore. You mother should be supportive of this.

Furthermore, you should to seek professional help for your father. There are resources to counsel those who are abusive. He needs to know what he is doing is wrong, even illegal, in which case the hard choice is to turn him into the police. I know, nobody wants to turn their loved ones in to the law, but it may be the only to get him to stop. you deserve to be treated respectfully, and if your father cannot treat you respectfully, then taking things to the law would be the good for both you and your father.

Believe me, dancergirl, you should NOT have to put up with that abuse. NOBODY should.

And it would also be a good idea to seek professional counseling for yourself. There are others who have or are going through the same thing. There is plenty of resources for this. Check with your local department of social services.


Please, PLEASE, dancergirl. Don't let this abuse continue. You are a precious child of God, loved by the Lord and you deserve better. Please take action!!!

 

[Dondi]

dancergirl, are you going to a specific church? If so, perhaps you can confide with your pastor or priest. they ought to be able to help, also.

I am praying fervently for you situation. I pray the Lord give you all the strength and love you need. Hang in there, girl!!

 

[Martin]

Dancergurl,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It's a privelage to be invited to listen to you expressing your heart this way...

I think that it's likely that it will take you a while before you can truly say that you have forgiven you dad, but God will take you along the road one step at a time.

Firstly. let me say that I cannot possibly understand how you feel, because I have not been where you are, but I can sympathise with you and your pain.

Apart from the abuse, your dad did you a great dis-service, in that he was meant to reflect to you something of the nature of God as Father - he was to be God's representative on earth for you and he seriously abused that privelage and responsibility. In consequence, it is possible that your image of God has been tarnished by the way your dad has treated you.

You (like many who have suffered abuse of all kinds) may find it more difficult to relate to God, in terms of Father, than those who had "good" fathers. I ask you not to view God through the same eyes as you view your earthly father. God loves you more than you can possibly know at the moment and He will be seeking to bring you into a deeper realtionship with Himself, over time. He is a perfect Father who has your best intentions at the cenre of His heart. He will not abuse you, ridicule you, lie to you or hurt you. His heart is to do you good.

It is also possible that you have feelings of unforgiveness towards your mum. matbe you are saying something to yourself like "Why didn't you stop him from hurting me?". I do not know your mothers reasons, maybe you do, but I ask you to understand where your mother was at when the abuse was taking place before you come to any position of judging her.

God will want you to forgive your dad in time, but He will not lay that burden on you at the moment. His immediate desire is that you know Him so well that you can trust HIm and love Him and feel secure in His presence. When that has been achieved, then He will start to heal your wounded heart, but He cannot do that until you know that you can trust Him. Jesus can empathise with you - He suffered abuse from all who were around Him - He understands where you are at.

My only comment to you at the moment is not to fear God, but as much as you can, speak to Him, unburden your heart to Him and listen to what He is saying to you. Be willing to be changed by Him, give Him your heart, receive His love and give Him yours.

If you do this, then I think you can expect to see changes in your life.

I will pray from you, but at the moment, I rather think that you and God are going to do fine....

Much love and blessings,

Martin

 

[JVD]

It is important to seperate forgiveness from the notion that we can act like the wrongs that he committed never happened.

It will be hard to forgive, but with prayer, and with learning about God's love for you it is possible.

But don't expect that your forgiveness will change your father, or your relationship with your father. That may never change, and perhaps, unless he truly changes, it should never change. If he is/was truly abusive you need to stay away from him and have as little contact as possible with him.

Please don't try to replace the love and care that your father should have shown you with an unhealthy relationship with other men. That is always an instinctive response and is usually destructive.

Continue to be very close to your Mother. If she is strong emotionally, gain from her strength.

I have learned a lot from my wife because of her abusive father. It was something that was learned the hard way over many years.

 

[dancergurl]

I commend you for your desire to forgive your father for abusing you. But is he still abusing you? If so, you need to get out from that situation, because no matter how many times your forgive him, it doesn't mean that he won't continue. Yes, you can gather strength from God and from you mother, but if she is going to be supportive, then she needs to get you away from your father, at least for a time, or else he will continue to wear you down and you will just become more miserable.

God does love you, dancergirl, and He will help you and give you strength to bear. NEVER give up hope in God. Go to Him with all your sorrows and He will lift up up.

And If you really care for your father, you need to distance yourself from him so he won't abuse you anymore. You mother should be supportive of this.

Furthermore, you should to seek professional help for your father. There are resources to counsel those who are abusive. He needs to know what he is doing is wrong, even illegal, in which case the hard choice is to turn him into the police. I know, nobody wants to turn their loved ones in to the law, but it may be the only to get him to stop. you deserve to be treated respectfully, and if your father cannot treat you respectfully, then taking things to the law would be the good for both you and your father.

Believe me, dancergirl, you should NOT have to put up with that abuse. NOBODY should.

And it would also be a good idea to seek professional counseling for yourself. There are others who have or are going through the same thing. There is plenty of resources for this. Check with your local department of social services.


Please, PLEASE, dancergirl. Don't let this abuse continue. You are a precious child of God, loved by the Lord and you deserve better. Please take action!!!

no my dad doesnt abuse me any more when my mom found out he did she stopped it i really love all of the comments that i got back from everyone thanks much!

 

[Just4Jesus]

this is my first post so i hope i do this right-
definately my biggest challenge in my faith is forgiveness my parents just recently got divorced because i have and abusive father i pray everyday and ask god to help me forgive him but its really hard. while i dont like saying it i truly hate my father for what he did to me and my mom i know forgiveness is what god wants but to be hurt by someone u trust with ur life makes it really hard to forgive i still have not forgiven my father but im on my way there my mom keeps my faith alive she reminds me that god and her will love me no matter what through out the last year i have been through a lot i have not beleived in god at all at times i have cut my self and thought about suicide then i realized that thats not how to get rid of my pain thanks to my mom i beleive in god and have a really strong faith if any one knows any way that would help me forgive my father please let me know thanks!

I have been where you are. And to this day, I still have issues with my father. Up until about 2 years ago, I had not spoken to my father since I was 14 years old. I knew I had to forgive him not only for what he done to me but also my brother and so many other innocent children. I forgave him and went to see him. He did apologize for what he had put my mother and so many others through. But even to this day, he still denies what he has done to others. He is probably one of the most controlling people I know. But that is where mercy comes in. You see, we are not even worthy to speak the name of Jesus, let alone deserve a place in His kingdom. If God loved me so much to give His precious son as a sacrifice for us, oh wow then how much more should we do here for those we know and love most. This is a sad world but the Lord is faithful and will not put more on us than we can bare! God BLess You honey and I know you can and will get through this, you are a child of God. LET NO MAN TOUCH WHAT BELONGS TO HIM.

 

[Dondi]

no my dad doesnt abuse me any more when my mom found out he did she stopped it i really love all of the comments that i got back from everyone thanks much!

Well, i'm glad he doesn't abuse you anymore. I pray he doesn't feel tempted to do so anymore. Let's pray for your father, that Christ will change his life and that he will know forgiveness from God, and yourself, and your mother. Let you father see Christ in you. tell him you love him and forgive him and that you are praying for him. Love covers a multitude of sins and will help restore your father the the person God wants him to be. Oh, I pray that your father will see this. And I continue to pray for you, dancergurl. Always know that no matter what, God loves you!!

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

I think it`s important to realize that forgiveness HEALS. Unforgiveness can cause many dis-eases in you, from ulsers to you name it.
Forgiveness is for your benifit. Unforgiveness hurts no one but yourself.
Try talking to God every night about it for 3 weeks.
Talk till your blue in the face and listen to God too.
Ask that God work in his life and leave the results to God.
Bless your heart and don`t let bitterness dwell there.

 

[lockofhair]

this is my first post so i hope i do this right-
definately my biggest challenge in my faith is forgiveness my parents just recently got divorced because i have and abusive father i pray everyday and ask god to help me forgive him but its really hard. while i dont like saying it i truly hate my father for what he did to me and my mom i know forgiveness is what god wants but to be hurt by someone u trust with ur life makes it really hard to forgive i still have not forgiven my father but im on my way there my mom keeps my faith alive she reminds me that god and her will love me no matter what through out the last year i have been through a lot i have not beleived in god at all at times i have cut my self and thought about suicide then i realized that thats not how to get rid of my pain thanks to my mom i beleive in god and have a really strong faith if any one knows any way that would help me forgive my father please let me know thanks!

Hey i am new to this but when i saw your post my heart started jumpin like I have been through the exact same thing.. like my dad abused my mom and us for... my whole life and it was so hard for me to forgive him.. because i was like he does not desurve it... like but God said that his wrath is much more than ours... and to love our enimies... and it is so weird to think as your father as an enemy but... I used to... i have had times where I have thought about killing him when i was younger.. but now I have given that up to christ and vengance... is his!!! aight well you can pm me any time... i know what your going through I am almost 19 btw and so I have went through this for a long time... aight peace