Forgave but there's still pain?

[Aldrin25]

Is this possible?

2 months ago, i made small mistake then my workmate attacked me for invalid reason.

He threat me that he will hire a killer to kill me and he kicked my chair. Even my other workmate was shocked because of his anger to me for invalid reason what i have done.. like very small mistake.

Then i stay away from him. The Lord controlled my body at that time, so i wouldn't revenge.

It was 2 months ago, i forgave him.. But every time i remember the situation, there are some negative thoughts come to my mind to him..

Is it possible? I forgave him but the pain is still there? =( but it was lessen the pain, not unlike 2 months ago.

I almost cried that time..really hurts me a lot. I'm not a bad guy that who is ready to fight..

 

[Dave-W]

Yes, that is entirely possible, common even. Forgiveness is the necessary first step. But healing from the wounds suffered is another thing altogether. For that you will need to be in prayer and maybe even counseling from a pastor or trained christian counselor.

 

[A Realist]

Forgiveness is one thing, forgetting is another.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Seems like God knew how hard it would be for us when He told us to forgive others.

We won't be perfect at this
nor perfect at much else.
We trust in Christ Alone.

M-Bob

 

[pdudgeon]

Yes, that is entirely possible, common even. Forgiveness is the necessary first step. But healing from the wounds suffered is another thing altogether. For that you will need to be in prayer and maybe even counseling from a pastor or trained christian counselor.

Agreed.
By the grace of God, this is no ordinary kind of anger that God allowed you to see in this man. That anger is a consuming anger, because it is a reflection of how he is suffering inside.

Pray for him to God, that his pain might be healed, and ask God to heal your wounds that you suffered as well. God bless you.

 

[Aldrin25]

Thank you for all of your wisdom and encouragement...

Sometimes the Lord let me realize that he can be a Great Pastor someday... He can use him...

 

[Lovetrusion]

You know... What I like about God is that he issues commandments and also point to you what to do or say.

So, I had like to know what you mean by saying, "It was 2 months ago, i forgave him.. But every time i remember the situation, there are some negative thoughts come to my mind to him.."

There could be a series of things happening here.

1. You did not say it to him directly and therefore it doesn't sit well with your spirit - making forgiving him in your heart as you had like improbable. It seems you forgave him mentally and or emotionally and this is why the thoughts keep coming back. Matthew 5:23-25. If you are lacking courage to do such then pray for God to walk you through and ask God for that spirit. And then be still to let God work you.
2. If the above was done, let it be that these negative thoughts are captured. The devil works with the mind and remember that he prawls on your past mistakes. Do by all means live in the present not the past nor the future. Watch your negative thoughts - and see how a minute or seconds ago the thought about him did not exist in your head. In this case do not act or say anything based on them because that will lead into slander, gossip, condemnation etc - which is what Satan wants.
   
3. You are not listening to the Holy Spirit (If you have received it) for this current situation.

I had suggest you pray and do something for him wherever the Spirit in the belly is pushing you to do and not by your mind. I am saying this as an opening that shows your will to forgive and of the Lord to be done. Don't push the matter nor regress into it. Everything will start happening naturally.

 

[Aldrin25]

You know... What I like about God is that he issues commandments and also point to you what to do or say.

So, I had like to know what you mean by saying, "It was 2 months ago, i forgave him.. But every time i remember the situation, there are some negative thoughts come to my mind to him.."

There could be a series of things happening here.

1. You did not say it to him directly and therefore it doesn't sit well with your spirit - making forgiving him in your heart as you had like improbable. It seems you forgave him mentally and or emotionally and this is why the thoughts keep coming back. Matthew 5:23-25. If you are lacking courage to do such then pray for God to walk you through and ask God for that spirit. And then be still to let God work you.
2. If the above was done, let it be that these negative thoughts are captured. The devil works with the mind and remember that he prawls on your past mistakes. Do by all means live in the present not the past nor the future. Watch your negative thoughts - and see how a minute or seconds ago the thought about him did not exist in your head. In this case do not act or say anything based on them because that will lead into slander, gossip, condemnation etc - which is what Satan wants.
   
3. You are not listening to the Holy Spirit (If you have received it) for this current situation.

I had suggest you pray and do something for him wherever the Spirit in the belly is pushing you to do and not by your mind. I am saying this as an opening that shows your will to forgive and of the Lord to be done. Don't push the matter nor regress into it. Everything will start happening naturally.

Thank you... I'll do it. =)

 

[Joined2krist]

You have started the first step by forgiving him, now try to allow yourself heal. How you arrive at this? learn to heal. Don't entertain thoughts that cause division to your relationship. God bless

 

[Lovetrusion]

... learn to heal. God bless

I have always been fascinated by phrases people use... What does the above really mean in practice and in thought. How do you go about it? Does God lead the way here through the Holy Spirit or one mentally conjures up methods of healing self?

 

[Lovetrusion]

Thank you... I'll do it. =)

Steadfast and in Christ I hope it brings fruits and wisdom in abundance.

 

[Amittai]

You know... What I like about God is that he issues commandments and also point to you what to do or say. ... Don't push the matter nor regress into it. Everything will start happening naturally.

Lovetrusion, I wish I had read this from you before now! I knew that existentially, trauma can be triggering and to watch my step, but I didn't know how to watch my step.

I'd have not rushed to approach those people. But I could have dealt with them more simply and probably quicker than the convoluted stewing I found myself doing.

It's like step 9 of the 12 steps. Thank you Aldrin for sharing this.

My mum who was a fairly good woman would sometimes utter a bloodcurdling phrase (which she probably got from her mum). It's all fitting together.

 

[Favoredclay]

I know this is way past the day the OP asked for help, but I would like to offer some thoughts that might help someone down the road.

Forgiveness is individual in your case. It's something you do and it does not require any reciprocal action. Jesus forgave our sins, but he left acceptance up to us. If someone buys you a gift card it's still incumbent on you to use it, your choice. Forgiveness is a Christ-like action that helps relieve your soul of burden. Don't make the mistake of weighing the other person's reaction as a gauge of whether you actually forgave the person. Scripture tells us you are innocent in all cases by what you have done.

You still pray for the person and are cordial and kind towards them. Yet, to trust and embrace this person as you would a fellow Christian requires reconciliation. Reconciliation is far different than forgiveness. It requires both parties to participate and change. It is an effort to redeem the relationship and requires effort from both parties. That is the heart of repentance with God, that we agree to reconcile our relationship with him. That means changing our ways to conform to what is true, moral and right. with God we are entirely in error and so it is us who must change. With people it is usually a relationship that requires change from both, and agree to forget the past and build a productive and healthy relationship going forward.

If the person is not willing to accept your forgiveness and reconcile then you are not obligated to convince them of their need to. Instead of reaching out with an argument as to why, simply love them and pray for God to move both you and them. Go on with your life. Don't worry about what impact others have on your Spirit, they are not the one you will face at judgement. In the real world you may still have to face these people at work or in society. Be kind and polite, but you are not obligated to engage them anymore than is required by work or social structure. Until their heart is changed you are just casting your pearls before swine. You can still love them spiritually. As someone said, "think on better things". If you fear for your well being then you need to get someone of authority involved, supervisor, police or whoever. It may come to the place you need to look for somewhere else to work. It is not a victorious life in Christ to live in fear of how man sees you. You are a child of the king with an eternal inheritance, live like you believe it. Scripture tells us we are more than conquerors!