Forever the optimist but...

[Zebra1552]

Okay, so this should probably go in some singles forum, but I don't want just the stuff posted from single people.

My girlfriend of two years broke up with me back in May. It wasn't a bad breakup (though afterwards she seems to have kinda fallen off the end of the earth, and I'm not the only one to have said that). She lives in Nebraska, I'm in Minnesota. The breakup made sense. We were both graduating, she didn't know what she was going to do, I planned on working at Costco and staying in MN... I don't resent her for her decision.

I'm pretty optimistic. Like, to a fault. But... I'm in my mid-twenties, and I've a roommate who's in his thirties. And he's single. I don't know many girls and the ones I do know are taken. I have Asperger's. I'm geeky to the Nth degree. I stopped going to church a few months ago because I hated having to sit still for that long and listen to a sermon I don't learn much from, and none of the churches I've gone to have a very big young adult group. There's plenty of churches in my area, but I almost don't want to go to any because I just want to find someone to settle down with and don't want to go to another group with more people that I wouldn't get along with or are already taken. And it's seriously starting to depress me.

If I start going to some singles group I won't know anyone (but that's the point, right?) and my work schedule changes from week-to-week enough that I hesitate to get involved because I'll probably go to a few and have to miss a whole bunch.

 

[Fearless12]

I'm pretty optimistic. Like, to a fault. But...

Whatever you do man, keep your optimism; it's vital!

Not to over-simplify this, but it seems to me that if you want to increase your odds of finding a girl, you have to increase your exposure socially (I get that Asperger's can make that hard, but it seems inevitable). Believe me, I feel your pain when it comes to sermons that are often little more than thought-provoking, if that. However, I would submit to you that braving the sermons is a small price to pay when you consider the potential benefits of a church to your social health as a Christian, provided you find a church for which you are well suited. If you prefer to think along the lines of small groups, how do you think your employer would respond if you request a consistent day off each week for a religious commitment? Or maybe you could only work that particular day/shift once a month? Also, the social exposure you get with small groups will obvioiusly be more limited. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing; you just have to balance those factors and decide what would work best. Another possibility could be a college of some sort, maybe even a Bible college. The last option that comes to mind is registering on a Christian dating site, which works out quite well for many people.

 

[Pal Handy]

Don't give up on life.
Don't give up on God and His people.

If you are not moving foward you are slipping backward against the relentless tide of apathy,
discouragement and judgement the enemy will throw at you to drive you away from God,
His plan, His people and His blessing that He has for you.

You can grow and have confidence in the Lord if you will give Him control
of your life by inviting Him to direct your life instead of dropping out.

Don't label yourself and limit yourself but instead ask God to form
your character and make you into the person He wants you to be.

It is truly what is inside that counts and not the image you physically
project but if the Spirit of God is within you, God will be with you
and give you favor and He will cause friendship to develop between
others who carry God within them also.

The deeper you go in God and allow Him access to your thoughts, attitudes and
heart, the more God will develop you and cause you to be more than what you are on your own.

Here's an example...

Acts 4:13
Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were
uneducated and untrained men, they marveled.
And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

Don't let the devil derail your life in Christ.

Pray and ask Jesus Christ to be more than a savior, ask Him to
be your Lord, your friend, your helper, your defender, your teacher,
your guide and give Him a chance to bless you beyond what you can
do apart from Him.

If where you are going to church isn't challenging you then go and
visit other churches. Perhaps you can find a college age group
from a local campus.

Pray and ask God to lead you to other Christians that will promote
you and challenge you to grow in your relationship with God in Christ
and who will support and love you as a beloved child of God.

God is the original and eternal optimist and He keeps hoping that
you will grow weary of searching for fulfullment in every other
place but in the source of all fulfillment, joy, life, love and relationship
and turn to Him and let Him into your life so that He can take you out
of your own fears and doubts and cause you to be the man that only He
can make of you.

they marveled.
And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

 

[parsley]

Getting involved in the service can really help with the feeling of sitting there. Since you have an irregular work schedule that might not work now, but think about it for later. Run the sound or projection system. Record sermons. Usher, teach classes, greet, count heads (that is a real task).