For Your Entertainment: The Extremely Boring Marriage Questions List

linux.poet

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As I mentioned previously in the "Physical Change Boundaries..." topic, this is the list my younger self compiled of all of the questions I wanted to ask my future spouse before marrying them. These questions are largely sourced from all of the things that my parents couldn't agree on and all of my young fears about what I believed my husband would never allow, in addition to my curiosity.

It is given as my gift to you for the following purposes:
1. Entertainment (you can laugh at my young foibles and take the survey for yourself for fun)
2. Possible insight into issues/fights that could come up in your future marriages.
3. Conversation starters for singles groups and meetups with potential spouses. Don't know what to say? Here is 68 possible ideas!

It is not given for the purpose of vetting your fellow members for marriage based on their answers to the survey. I don't think people should post their answers on here, as this place is not a dating site and I really don't need to know your answers. Instead, I would like your opinions, if any, on the questions. Which questions are ridiculous? Which ones are missing? etc.

EXTREMELY BORING MARRIAGE QUESTIONS

(by category)


“I don’t know”, “I don’t care” and “I don’t want to decide this right now” are acceptable answers. No answers are unacceptable. Please be honest. If you expect me to be Superwoman and jump through rings of fire, that can be arranged, but you’ll have to be patient while I find the correct costume, hire out a stadium for the rings of fire, and learn training on how to do so without killing myself. Sorry about that.

This is NOT an evaluation or test. There are no “wrong” answers. I’m not going to come back to you and tell you that since you prefer Chevrolet over Toyota, this whole thing is over. I just like to know what problems may be coming my way in advance.

You are allowed not to answer any of these questions if you find them uncomfortable.


Ideals and Expectations? Do you have any? If so, what are they?

1. What do you expect from a marriage?


2. What do you expect out of your life in general?


3. What do you expect your wife to be like?


4. What do you expect your kids to be like?


5. What do you expect from yourself in a marriage situation?


6. What do you expect from yourself in a parenting context?


7. How do you expect decisions to be handled in a marriage situation?


8. How do you expect disagreements to be handled in a marriage situation?


9. How do you expect your children to be disciplined?


10. In your opinion, what is the ideal woman? Do you expect your wife to live up to that ideal?


11. In your opinion, what is the ideal child? Do you expect your children to live up that ideal? Do you believe that it is your responsibility to correct your child to meet your ideal?


Finances and Financial Stuff

12. In general, do you believe that financial decisions should be handled jointly, or that each person should deal with their own income and financial status?

13. Do you have any strong preferences as to my method of employment or income level? Do you expect me to quit my job and rely on your income? How much money do you expect me to earn? What careers do you consider acceptable for your wife or would prefer for her to have? Do you expect your wife to work with you at your job or help you with your business?

14. Do you want our taxes filed separately or together?

15. Do you believe that debt is a valid way to purchase something you want immediately but don’t have the money to buy? Do you regularly carry credit card balances? (This question does NOT refer to home mortgages – as that can be a calculation against rent – but about debt for discretionary expenses like CDs or games or phones or boats, etc. And yes, it is a loaded question. All answers are acceptable; please be honest if you really think debt is a valid option for this.)


16. Do you believe in trading in cars every five years? What brands of cars would you prefer to buy, should we need to purchase a car? Do you prefer to buy new or used cars? What is your primary concern when deciding whether to purchase a vehicle?


17. Do you think that car repairs and maintenance (such as changing oil, rotating tires) should be done at home or at a service shop? Would you find it unacceptable for me to perform routine car maintenance and study repair or owners manuals? (or is that a serious blow to your male pride or expertise?)


175. Do you have ANY outstanding debts? Please be specific. Do you have a viable plan for paying them off as soon as possible? Do you believe that this is even important?


18. What expenses do you expect my income to cover? Please be specific.


19. What expenses do you expect your income to cover? Please be specific.


20. What sort of financial expectations or ideals do you have? Do you expect to live in a mansion and drive around in an expensive car?


21. Do you consider yourself a spender or a saver?


215. Do you have any investments or investment preferences?


22. If you mismanage your finances and/or a financial catastrophe strikes you, do you expect me to bail you out? How much of your financial obligations do you expect me to be responsible for?


225. If we run into a situation where we lose a large portion of our net worth up to the point where one of us needs to go back to work, how do you expect that to be handled?


23. Do you have any financial goals? If so, what are they? (For example: I want to earn $440 for an iPad, I want to have $300,000 to purchase a house, etc)


24. Do you consider yourself financially and mathematically competent? Do you expect me to be financially competent? What bills do you expect me to manage and pay?


Relationships/Medical (ALL OF THESE ANSWERS WILL REMAIN CONFIDENTIAL. YI YI YI.)

25. Do you have any serious ongoing medical conditions, or past conditions that could cause problems in the future? (Please no joke answers; this is a serious question.)


26. Does your family’s medical history suggest that a serious medical problem may be in your future? If yes, does this affect your outlook on life in any significant way?


27. Do you have a sexual history? If so, do you have any sexually transmitted diseases? How much emotional baggage do you think you are carrying from these previous experiences?


28. Any previous traumatic experiences, in childhood or otherwise? (THIS IS A YES/NO QUESTION. YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO DESCRIBE THE EXPIERIENCE. Though if you want to…)


29. Any serious conflicts in your immediate family? For example, estranged brothers or sisters, uncles/aunts because of unresolved conflict, ongoing disagreements, etc.


30. Any other dysfunctional family experiences such as your parents getting divorced/separated, stepparents, stepsiblings, adoption type things, etc?

Children

31. Do you have a strong preference to have children, to not have children, or somewhere in the middle?


32. If you have children, do you expect to have a large family? Is that something you want to have?

33. Do you expect your children to be:

Homeschooled

Christian private schooled

Public Schooled

No Preference

Other??


34. Do you expect births to be spaced out using birth control?


35. Would you consider it acceptable for our children to attend AWANA?


36. What is your attitude toward children? Are they gifts from God who have value, little sinners your have to correct, accidents?


37. Do you consider it acceptable to spank or hit children with belts or rods for punishment?


38. If the kids are homeschooled, do you expect me to do the majority of the homeschooling? How involved do you want to be?


39. Do you believe in maintaining popular childhood illusions such as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, or are you more interested in being honest?

Food/Culinary

40. Do you eat breakfast every morning?


41. Do you eat the same breakfast every day? Is this different on weekends? Holidays? Different every day?


42. Do you expect me to cook breakfast for you? If so, what would you like me to make for you?


43. If I get out of bed to cook breakfast for myself, does that bother you? Do you expect us to eat breakfast together?


44. Do you expect me to fix lunch for you?


45. Do you expect me to make dinner for you? If so, what would you like me to make for you? Is there a variety of things?


47. What food do you particularly not like and want me to avoid making for you?


48. Any food intolerances or allergies? Are you on a special or particular diet for medical reasons (or aesthetic reasons, athletic reasons, etc)?


49. Any recipes or recipe books that you would like me to acquire? Perhaps something your mother or other relatives make that you would like to see again?


50. Any food in particular that you would like to have again or try? (desserts, bread, any of that sort of thing)


51. These previous questions have assumed that I will be responsible for cooking things. Does this bother you in particular? Do you consider yourself to having culinary ability? Any dishes that you insist on making yourself because no one else can do it as good as you?


Travel/Other

52. Do you have any experience with outdoor activities, such as:

Ziplining

Hiking

Camping

Whitewater Rafting

RVing

Canoeing


52. Do you strongly dislike any of the activities listed in 51?


53. Do you enjoy outdoor activities in general?


54. Do you enjoy traveling in general? Or do you find it a miserable experience?


55. If I was going to travel alone for a short period of time while we were married, would that negatively impact you? (i.e. worry, separation anxiety, etc.)


56. Any particular place that you might enjoy traveling to?

57. Do you enjoy theme parks? Expensive hotels?

58. How big do you expect your bed to be? King, queen, double? Do you like pillow-top mattresses? Any particular bedding preferences?


59. Do you like having a TV in your bedroom?


60. Do you like having a phone in your bedroom, whether corded or wireless?


61. Do you consider it acceptable to eat, read, or use electronic devices while in bed?


62. Are you particularly a morning person or night owl? Somewhere in between?


63. Are you okay with me staying up late at night until 2 or 3 in the morning? If I put you to bed (engage in relations and let you go to sleep) and then get back up and go back to work in another room while you sleep, would that bother you?


64. Do you hate driving or like driving, in particular?


65. Do you know how to drive a boat? If not, are you willing to learn?


Beauty/Physical Change Boundaries

66. Would you consider it acceptable to suggest, recommend, or require that your wife undergo plastic surgery?


67. Do you expect your wife to attend a large number of parties or social events where dressing up and/or makeup is required?


68. Do you expect your wife to wear makeup on a regular basis? Or not wear makeup on a regular basis?

Have fun. :)
 
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DragonFox91

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Those aren't boring.
Category 1 is hard & boring. I can't even begin to answer them.
I like the other categories. I started answering them but you said you didn't want answers so I stopped. Something to thing about I guess.
 
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linux.poet

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Category 1 is hard & boring. I can't even begin to answer them.
I developed that category of ideals and expectations from a marriage conference. A cause of failed marriages is that one person has an ideal of what they want their spouse to be like that the other person can never fulfill. So I figured it would be best to cut off that issue directly at the pass by getting the other person's information right away. Basically, if I could fulfill their ideal or expectation, I would consider the marriage.

If you don't have any sort of ideal or expectation for your marriage and expect it to be an adventure, however, you're ahead of the game in maturity level, and I also would want to marry someone like that, in fact more than the person with fulfillable expectations.

I started answering them but you said you didn't want answers so I stopped.
I would encourage you to finish answering them for your own knowledge/fun. If you really want me to look over your answers and think that would help you in your dating life, you can private message me the answers and we can discuss them.

I just don't want a chain of posts in this topic where people answer the questions, because that's like a dating profile - this topic would become a log of dating information and highly detailed dating profiles on everyone, which would be a violation of this forum's Statement of Purpose. I thought the other 3 purposes were enough to justify the topic, but I also want to follow the rules of the forum.
 
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Sketcher

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38. If the kids are homeschooled, do you expect me to do the majority of the homeschooling? How involved do you want to be?
If you're talking to a guy who is or whom you expect to be working full-time, this sounds a bit off-putting. Mainly because if a person is working full-time, that person does not have the time to do most of the homeschooling. Therefore it comes of as sounding simultaneously dumb and like a veiled "I don't want to homeschool my kids."

The way homeschooling works when the dad works full time is he is the principal, and the mom is the teacher. And the kids know that the principal and the teacher have something going on. They're going to have to deal with him when he gets home. That's the way a co-worker of mine who homeschools his kids would sum it up.

You might ask which person do you expect to stay home and do most of the homeschooling if you want to homeschool the kids.
 
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DragonFox91

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If you're talking to a guy who is or whom you expect to be working full-time, this sounds a bit off-putting. Mainly because if a person is working full-time, that person does not have the time to do most of the homeschooling. Therefore it comes of as sounding simultaneously dumb and like a veiled "I don't want to homeschool my kids."

The way homeschooling works when the dad works full time is he is the principal, and the mom is the teacher. And the kids know that the principal and the teacher have something going on. They're going to have to deal with him when he gets home. That's the way a co-worker of mine who homeschools his kids would sum it up.

You might ask which person do you expect to stay home and do most of the homeschooling if you want to homeschool the kids.
Interesting! Thanks for sharing.
 
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