For The Men

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

When men are married/attached and look at other women, is it because they are not happy with what they already have?


How often do you show your gf/wife affection?
How often do you compliment your gf/wife?
If a man looks at other women and rarely compliments/show affection towards his gf/wife....is this a form of "cheating" her out of something that she should be getting?

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

If a guy looks at another woman who is attractive, or whatever, it doesn't mean that he's cheating on you, he could just be admiring that person's beauty and not necessarily lusting after her. There is always going to be people who more attractive than you are, but no one can truly replace the beauty your bf/husband has found in you.

As far as compliments or affection, I can't really say. Some guys will share more with you and some won't because that's just the way they are. I know that it feels good when the other person acknowledges you.

 

[BrotherKnight]

Well me personally, I have the best girlfriend in the entire world, so there isn't the slightest desire to look at another woman!

(Isn't that right, cute-one? )

 

[MN John]

When men are married/attached and look at other women, is it because they are not happy with what they already have?

It is because they choose not to control themselves. It's like having a delicious meal that can totally satisfy you and still looking around at what other people got. I do not look at other women because I do not believe that doing so would show respect to my gf or honor God.

How often do you show your gf/wife affection?

Rather constantly except when it's inaapropriate to the place/company/situation/etc., when we're very "on-task" with something that we need to get done, or when she's not going to want it at certain times each month.

How often do you compliment your gf/wife?

Regularly, but not every day. She doesn't want tons of compliments. I know that, she knows I know that. So when I compliment her, we both know that it is because I just couldn't hold back because she is THAT special that I just had to say so.

If a man looks at other women and rarely compliments/show affection towards his gf/wife....is this a form of "cheating" her out of something that she should be getting?

Hmmm. It is certainly not showing her proper respect. I don't know if I would go so far as to say that everyone deserves a certain amount of affection and a certain number of compliments. But every SO deserves a basic level of respect and that is what I see as missing in the situation described.

My message is frequently the same... communicate ... communicate ... communicate. If you feel a need for more affection, tell him about that. If you feel a need for more compliments, say so. If you feel disrespected when he looks at other women, tell him how you feel. Also listen to what he says when you tell him these things. Learn what his needs are. Learn what his hangups about affection or compliments might be. Work togethr to help each other meet one another's needs.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

There are any number of reasons from issues in the relationship to the fact that they aren't man enough or responsible enough to be married. I tend to focus on the latter, but that's not fair to someone who isn't that kind of a creep.

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

Well me personally, I have the best girlfriend in the entire world, so there isn't the slightest desire to look at another woman!

(Isn't that right, cute-one? )

Awww...that's so sweet. Your girlfriend is so blessed to have such a sweet boyfriend

 

[Jesus_Freak4]

Well me personally, I have the best girlfriend in the entire world, so there isn't the slightest desire to look at another woman!

I wouldn't have thought it would work like that. Well, I guess it depends on what you mean by looking at another woman.

I don't have an issue with admiring the beauty of another woman, but obviously, when it becomes LUST, it is wrong. The question is, of course, when does it become lust - when it is sexual?

 

[f U z ! o N]

well for me its like this i have an extremely beautiful gorgeous girlfriend and why should my eyes be on anyone else? that would not honor her at all and it wouldn't be very Christlike. i want to give her all my respect. when commericals come on tv that are bad like victorias secret or any other scantily clad women i turn my head or put my hands over my eyes. its all in respect.

 

[BrotherKnight]

I wouldn't have thought it would work like that. Well, I guess it depends on what you mean by looking at another woman.

I don't have an issue with admiring the beauty of another woman, but obviously, when it becomes LUST, it is wrong. The question is, of course, when does it become lust - when it is sexual?

You should always follow your conscience, (a properly formed conscience based on the truths of the faith that has been handed down to us and directed by the love of God.)

 

[BrotherKnight]

Awww...that's so sweet. Your girlfriend is so blessed to have such a sweet boyfriend

Yes she is.

(For those of you who don't know - ^this is my girlfriend. )

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

Yes she is.

(For those of you who don't know - ^this is my girlfriend. )

.....

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

Yes she is.

(For those of you who don't know - ^this is my girlfriend. )

.....

Will you two knock off the cheesy stuff.

Oh wait, never mind, I've been far more cheesier than that in the past. Continue on...

 

[BrotherKnight]

Will you two knock off the cheesy stuff.

Oh wait, never mind, I've been far more cheesier than that in the past. Continue on...

LOL, okay...

(I like your new "outfit" )

 

[CarrierOfChrist]

Will you two knock off the cheesy stuff.

Oh wait, never mind, I've been far more cheesier than that in the past. Continue on...

Continue?...Will do (lol)!

 

[ChildOfGod20]

well for me its like this i have an extremely beautiful gorgeous girlfriend and why should my eyes be on anyone else? that would not honor her at all and it wouldn't be very Christlike. i want to give her all my respect. when commericals come on tv that are bad like victorias secret or any other scantily clad women i turn my head or put my hands over my eyes. its all in respect.

my boyfriend does that too....at least when i'm around. i hate those victorias secret commercials!

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

LOL, okay...

(I like your new "outfit" )

Thank you, it's not exactly the same, but it was as close as I could find.

I also updated my profile.

 

[A2597]

When men are married/attached and look at other women, is it because they are not happy with what they already have?


How often do you show your gf/wife affection?
How often do you compliment your gf/wife?
If a man looks at other women and rarely compliments/show affection towards his gf/wife....is this a form of "cheating" her out of something that she should be getting?

I think you can, for the most part, write that off as testosterone. Try as I might, I'll still notice other women. I try not to, but I still find myself sparing a glance. I don't know why, but there you have it. Now, I'd worry if he's STARING at them, or somesuch.

As for showing her affection? Every chance I get. That said, you may want to look up a book called "The Five Love Languages". People have different ways of showing affection, so there is a definate possibility that he's not communicating it in a way that you recive or understand.

(For example, nothing tells me that someone loves me more then spending time with me. Words are next to meaningless, your actions tell me that you love me. Gifts make me downright uncomfortable.

but my girlfriend? Words of affection tell her someone cares, and a thoughtful gift just fills her to bursting with the feeling I love her. And while yes, spending time together is important to her, if I failed to tell her I love her, or stopped giving her gifts, she would be certain I didn't love her anymore.

This led to a couple bad moments, where she tried to tell me she loved me by bringing me an apple one day. Unfortunatally, it tasted off to me, like it had gone bad even though it looked OK. So I threw it away, and in the process, hurt my GF very deeply. I totally missed the message, and felt horrible afterwords. Now that I know her love languages, I know when she's communicating love to me, and can communicate my love to her much better)

As to your last question, I'll answer definatly yes. But speak to him, let him know how you feel, and what makes you feel loved. It's very possible that he is just miscommunicating the message.

 

[Ginsu]

How often do you show your gf/wife affection?
How often do you compliment your gf/wife?
If a man looks at other women and rarely compliments/show affection towards his gf/wife....is this a form of "cheating" her out of something that she should be getting?[/color]

I show affection all the time, I bug her too much with that and she threatens to slap me around(playful), and I compliment her like 10 times a day or whatever.

If a man looks at another women did you ever think he is looking at her cool dress? too much preoccupation with fashion...DISTRACTION! I wish I could wear a dress. I'm pretty as a pony.