For military wives: "I Can't talk about it"

[Andoverpolo]

Looks like I am going to miss Christmas this year. My wife asked why and as usual I gave her the only response I need to "I'm not allowed to talk about it." I have one of those military jobs that keeps me away during my limited free time for months at a time with no communication with home, I'm not allowed to tell my family where I am going or for how long and I'm not allowed to contact home while I'm away.

It's very hard on her, this Christmas is going to be devastating for her because I missed Thanksgiving too. I write her letters before I go and have my secretary send them out at certain times of the month while I'm away just to give her something to stay cheerful. But I can't pretend I know how she feels about it or how she takes it.

So for military wives: first off - Thanks - we couldn't and wouldn't do this without you. What do you need to keep up while we're away and what things do your husbands do that really picks you up when we are away? How do you feel around holidays? Is there any solace in going to those military wife events or just hanging out with friends and family? We know you understand when we tell you we can't talk about it, but what do you need to feel more secure that we are okay?

Regards

 

[Genuine]

I think it's great that you write letters in advance and have them sent so she'll get them at different times while you're away. I'm sure she looks forward to those very much.

I'm a new military wife, and spent my first Thanksgiving alone. It was very hard - being close to my family really helped. And also we've decided to celebrate "ThanksChristmas" It's given me something to look forward to through the actually holiday.

I've noticed that military wives really pull together. It's really comforting to talk to other women who understand exactly what it feels like to be away from our husbands. I'm starting to realize that's going to be one of the keys to getting through this new lifestyle.

As far as feeling secure when the y'all are away... That's a hard one. I think prayer is the only thing that can help with that one.

 

[BoazB]

Hope you won't mind me posting here (not being a MW). With restricted information, it's not the wives who aren't trusted, or their friends, but having seen when an operation is going down, and the other side get to know about it, it probably happens through info going many times to outer circles. Neatly put, it's better to not have it on the conscience, but it is hard not to be able to give an answer to an SO that has certainty or security.

A feel for ya.

 

[Snowbunny]

Looks like I am going to miss Christmas this year. My wife asked why and as usual I gave her the only response I need to "I'm not allowed to talk about it." I have one of those military jobs that keeps me away during my limited free time for months at a time with no communication with home, I'm not allowed to tell my family where I am going or for how long and I'm not allowed to contact home while I'm away.

It's very hard on her, this Christmas is going to be devastating for her because I missed Thanksgiving too. I write her letters before I go and have my secretary send them out at certain times of the month while I'm away just to give her something to stay cheerful. But I can't pretend I know how she feels about it or how she takes it.

So for military wives: first off - Thanks - we couldn't and wouldn't do this without you. What do you need to keep up while we're away and what things do your husbands do that really picks you up when we are away? How do you feel around holidays? Is there any solace in going to those military wife events or just hanging out with friends and family? We know you understand when we tell you we can't talk about it, but what do you need to feel more secure that we are okay?

Regards

we understand... we miss you for the holidays and worry about you constantly while you are away. but we want you to be okay and more than anything to concentrate on your job so that you can do it quicker, safer and come back home sooner

 

[AndOne]

I write her letters before I go and have my secretary send them out at certain times of the month while I'm away just to give her something to stay cheerful. But I can't pretend I know how she feels about it or how she takes it.

23 years old and you have a secretary! - Wow - the air force has it good!

Keep your head up, bro - with you being a lawyer I can't imagine that being away during the holidays is something that will be too long term for ya....

 

[Khaleas]

I think it's more of a time thing with getting used to not knowing. The longer you're together, the less it impacts your day to day life as a wife (when there are kids involved it's different of course).
When my husband was gone he made me little videos and burned them on a CD and sent them to me. He'd just talk about dorky things but at least I could see his face... I'd send him little clips of our dogs playing. He had a video camera and a built in webcam on his computer, I just used the point and shoot digi camera I have with no editing.

 

[Andoverpolo]

I think it's more of a time thing with getting used to not knowing. The longer you're together, the less it impacts your day to day life as a wife (when there are kids involved it's different of course).
When my husband was gone he made me little videos and burned them on a CD and sent them to me. He'd just talk about dorky things but at least I could see his face... I'd send him little clips of our dogs playing. He had a video camera and a built in webcam on his computer, I just used the point and shoot digi camera I have with no editing.

I send my wife time released letters that I wrote before I leave. I picked up the idea from a cheesey love novel, but it at least reassures her I'm okay.

 

[GQ Chris]

I used to be in the Marines... yeah I definitely missed some Christmas' when I was in.... we had this saying that USMC stood for "U suckers missed Christmas" lol