Flirting Husband

[Living Stone]

(this is Living Stone's fiance) I feel very bad for you, that is awful that your husband is doing this. 18 years together and he still doesn't care enough about your feelings, that is awful. I agree you are gonna have to put your foot down and take some action. Its not fair that you should have to do this, he is acting childish with this. You are prolly going to have to make some ultamatum (sp?) such as "if you don't stop this, I am going to seperate from you" (not divorce yet, but seperate, to shake him up and so he knows you mean business). This is a horrible thing to have to go through, and don't think that you are in the wrong, HE should not be looking at any other person the way he looks at you, and that is HIS problem. I hope you are able to work this out, and do what you have to, because you deserve for your husband to treat you good like a husband should.

 

[heartnsoul]

That's point I'm at Steve. I have to become more independent first.

CLN, this experience will teach you to become more independent and practice tough love. It may be a good idea for you to seek counseling for yourself so you can learn how to love and respect yourself more. I believe (in time) you will love and respect yourself as much as God loves you.

I will pray that God gives you the peace and courage to stand firm in doing the right thing. My heart goes out to you...just seeing that crying smiley face makes me want to cry too.

Hang in there. God will be there to guide you through this very tough time.

 

[CLN]

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[CLN]

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[Evie]

Hi, This is my problem, I've been married to the same man for 18 years and he will not stop flirting with other women. He knows how I feel about it, but he gets more of a kick about it than he is concerned for my feelings. The past few days I have just stayed away from him. In the same house but away. I don't want to put up with it anymore. Any ideas on how to get your man to stop fliriting with other women? I have tried to stay away from him before but I have always given in, in the past. He should love me enough to care that it hurts me and he should try to stop, but he lies and he will not even admit to what he does. We have dated for 3 years before we got married and he has been like that from the begining. I know I got myself in to it with him, but I have more self confidence now and I have had enough of it. It makes me sick to think he's getting his jollies from other women and thinking it's no big deal, then comming to me like I'm supose to just put up with it.

he'd be sleeping with the dog.
I'm not sure what to tell ya,have not read the other posts.
Maybe he needs to concentrate on what God gave him instead of what his eyes see. It'll get him introuble. You should be the one he's flirting with. I am praying that he'd change his ways and that he finds this distasteful eventaully.

 

[CLN]

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[CLN]

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[CynthiaSpeaks]

I also would like my son to be older before something like that happens. He just turned 15 and I'm homeschooling him. I'm seriously thinking about doing an at home study program for myself to start prepairing for what might have to be ahead in my life. You are right separation might do the trick. Thank you.

Hi Again CLN,

Thank you for your compliment on my horse picture. That's Barty-J, the other "man in my life". And my husband totally approves! He actually is the one who brought Bart into our marriage! Okay, okay... actually my daughter is the rider, I am but the mere lowly groom.

I think your answer above is most likely the decisive one. When I told my husband I was walking, my son was less than a year old. If you are able to stay home and homeschool your son, then that is where you need to be. Can you handle your husbands wandering eye until your son is 18? That would give you three years to plan and put you in a better position to care for yourself should your husband have an affair. Meanwhile, you are doing right by your son. And hey, all us moms are raising our sons to be perfect husband's right?

Yes, the question of adultry in the mind vs. the bed is the same one I have. I wonder if posting that question in an apologetics forum wouldn't be a good idea. I'd like to know what "others more informed in these matters" think.

God bless you, sweetie. You deserve better.

 

[CLN]

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[junejan20]

Check out Shaunti Feldhahn's website as she has written a book called 'For Women Only' on men's inner thought life and has a link to the website on the book where there is a forum and also a place to ask questions which are answered by men - maybe they would have some ideas on how to handle this behaviour from your husband - I pray God will show you/teach you how to act right when your husband acts wrong.
I can't post the website as I haven't posted before.

 

[CLN]

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[junejan20]

Just an extra to the above post, I'm sure you will find it interesting if you look at the info on how men think and what is important to them and why, especially the stuff on the "visual" thing and how it works in practice. Also how important respect is. Other than that I can't give you any specifics but it has certainly turned on the light for me in other areas of marriage and family.

 

[CLN]

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[CLN]

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[CLN]

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[philknowles]

Tell him that he is acting no different from an adulterer. That's how I equate any type of "more than friendship" behavior.

 

[CLN]

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[Svt4Him]

Is there a point to doing all this? If you want to edit your post, why do you post a last "." to bump it?

 

[Grishnak]

well, Im no mathematician. but adding 2 and 2, Id say she responded to these threads, then out of frustration with the way some of her christian family have done nothing but judge her instead of try to help her, she just went back and deleted all her posts.

Bravo!!!
What a wonderfully dysfunctional family we are

 

[Svt4Him]

So she replied to every single thread? Then deleted them? But look at the times of the replies, and the fact that the final "." was not a modified post, simply a ".". So perhaps you may be mistaken?

As for us all judging her, and being dysfunctional, is that not a judgment as well? Then bravo to you too.

Or perhaps we can stop putting words in her mouth?