Flaunting it? (temptation and the way we dress)

[discipleofHim]

I don't care to get caught up in the debate over who is responsible for mens guarding their thoughts. Nor do I care to list things that should or shouldn't be worn. Just remember brothers and sisters that there is big a difference between dressing attractivly and dressing to attract. Consider Pauls words, all things are lawful for me, but all things are not good for me to do. Whether male or female, if there is any hint in your mind that the way you present yourself could trip up a brother or sister, please be considerate.

 

[Multi-Elis]

This is my question: you see I have lived most of my life in a very hot country where wearing less clothing was more comfortable and more practical, well, I moved to France and have the feeling that people dress here more modestly, maybe because of the cold... or maybe not. Well, I'm having a hard time understanding how you can dress immodestly in colder climits - my "skin tight pants" are skin tight in the winter because I'm wearing 2 layers of long underpants, and if I had any tight winter tops, I'd anyway be wearing a jacket or coat over it. Here where I live, I'm wearing long sleeves 8 months a year while before I was wearing long sleeves 4 months a year. So why does the problem exist... 8 months of the year where you live? Or does it?

But I've got to confess - I think the best policy is just to be aware of what's appropriate for each situation. I mean, tight tops don't bother my brother nor the guys in ballet class, and well dressed men, modestly dressed by all the rules who aren't even trying to be seductive can cause me to stumble... and I don't blame them a bit. God made them beautiful. I don't want to have the mind set of the Afganistans - you can't get much better than them in modesty. I haven't clearly stated my point out of delicacy, so if I bored you by seeming to re-say the same thing said over and over here, I appologize.

 

[Johnnz]

Jesus made an interesting statement when he said
Matt 5:27-30 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus had as the background to these verses the religious leaders who made a great ado about external holiness - rules, traditions, customs etc. Some of them had a pretty lax attitude to marriage. For very little reason they could see another woman, find her attractive and imemdiately want to marry her. They then just divorced their current wife. This laxness towards marriage violated God's standards. That is what Jesus meant when he spoke about lusting - it means lusting in order to have sex with her, not just finding a woman attractive.

Jesus attacked their outward claim of holiness when they were being so dismissive of the real principles of God. he then spoke with real irony. What he was in effect saying was "If holiness is an outward matter why don't you really show how holy you are by cutting off your hands and gouging out your eyes. Then, you could not possibly sin! You could neither see nor do anything about being immoral!

Jesus identified holiness as in inner attitude, something that comes from the heart. That is where some Christians, and many Muslims are in error. They believe that just reducing the source of temptation will result in inner purity. Jesus said that real purity is an inner condition, in which evil finds no home.

John
NZ

 

[Cordelia]

I hear that Muslim men are still tempted by women even when they wear burqas. Makes me wonder why I shouldn't wear nice, fashionable clothes (though I wouldn't be caught dead in a miniskirt or corset top or anything awfully revealing like that!) just so guys won't look at me and be attracted. Because they'll still look, correct? Even when my nice V-neck shirt might be clinging a tiny bit...I don't worry too much about it.

Not to derail this topic, but aren't lust and attraction two different things? I can be very attracted to women, and appreciate the way they dress, without needing to lust after them. I'm not trying to own women, but I'm also never going to stop liking the way they look, it hardly matters what they are wearing.

Mandating what should and should not be worn is a dangerous road, I think modesty is great, but modesty is entirley cultural. You wouldn't tell a naked aborigine(sp?) she was being imodest cause she doesn't wear a top just like everyone else in her tribe. Its silly, men you are going to like women, its part of your nature, and you are going to like the way that they look. I think you should deal with the issue of the heart, not the fact that you were created with sexuality.

Personally, I might notice an attractive guy in nice baggy jeans with messy hair, but then when he leaves, I forget him and think of something else. I totally agree that brief attraction, and sinful lust, must be two entirely different things.

 

[KristiXP]

This is where I have a problem. If a guy is attractive, not matter what he's wearing, I'm going to be all ooglie eyed over him and he'll be on my mind. With girls, it's what we wear and how we wear it that really tempts guys. For me, if he's attractive...it's a stumbling block. We can't help our looks, so it's not like guys should walk around with their faces covered just for me ya know.

Just something I thought I'd share...

 

[KristiXP]

Also, have any of you ladies considered the pride factor in the way you dress? How do you think that plays into the verses on modesty? (1 Peter 3:1-6, 1 Tim. 2:9-10)

Pride? In the way I dress? Buddy, I just throw some clothes on and go. I don't have any pride in the clothing I wear. I don't go walking around all high and mighty thinking "yea, I look hot." I may think that I look nice in the clothing that I'm wearing at the time, but in no way do I have any pride about it.

If that's not what you meant, then please, do us a favor and elaborate.

 

[ascribe2thelord]

Pride? In the way I dress? Buddy, I just throw some clothes on and go. I don't have any pride in the clothing I wear. I don't go walking around all high and mighty thinking "yea, I look hot." I may think that I look nice in the clothing that I'm wearing at the time, but in no way do I have any pride about it.

If that's not what you meant, then please, do us a favor and elaborate.

Finally, a girl who doesn't spend thirty minutes fumbling through her closet only to discover that she has nothing to wear!

 

[renaistre]

AMEN! ...
... Of course, these are just my personal guidelines.

Warning! Warning! Lecture Ahead!



Thank you! I think you, along with about a third of Christian girls, get it. Yes, of course we guys have a responsability to control what we look at and think. But that doesn't have anything to do with this issue. What so many of you do is like saying that an acoholic has a responsability to avoid drinking, and then offering him a beer. Or saying that it's ok to sneeze on people when you have a cold, because, after all, they have a responsability to stay fit and eat well. To those of you who get this, thank you so much. It does not go unnoticed. To those of you who don't, frankly, I don't blame you. I really don't think it is your fault, because I know from other issues that you are really trying to live a Godly life. And I know this from girls that I know in "real life" as well. But nevertheless, I think you are seriously missing what is going on. Please help us out a little here!

*Finally stops to take a breath.

Just think about it, please.

 

[renaistre]

... remember brothers and sisters that there is big a difference between dressing attractivly and dressing to attract...

Very true.

 

[tamtam92]

i think that dressing modestly can help... but it does not solve the problem completely...

I wear very long skirts (or quite long) and generally long sleeves (because it's cold - see Multi-Ellis post) but for sure at times i would have loved to have a burqa to avoid some looks (well i can say it was not my fault at all, just this guy was a case - it was not a christian at all, of course).

I think it's a good thing to think about other people when we dress.

 

[Tuffguy]

yes, but the blame should not be put on women. i am tired of being looked at as the dirty suductress of men...the US looks at women in the same way many other countries do...WE are blamed for the sickness of men. THAT IS NOT RIGHT. As I said, I am not implying that we should take no responsibility for how we dress. I've never been one to wear low cut blouses or to go out of my way to look "sexy" so I do get offended when someone tries to imply that all women are seductresses that need to be tamed. I also do not think we should try and hide our bodies. Guys have to be attracted to something. That does't mean you show them everything you've got.

Naughty girl!!! Go to my room!!!

I honestly never thought about the guys side of this arguement. When i pick out pants and shirts i don't really know the difference between dressing attractive and classy. I mean all the clothes i own fit snug,,,not tight. If i buy the next size up they usually look baggy, espicially on my upper body.
If i buy a dress shirt that is loose on my arms, its super big on my chest. If it feels/looks about right on my chest its snug on my arms.
I have a getto butt from doing squats and excercises so pretty much any pair of dress pants i wear is going to show off my butt wether i like it to or not.
They don't cut clothes for guys with builds. So you pick out what looks good (and consider yourself lucky to find things that fit) cause you don't really have any other options.

 

[Turn'D-OuT-DiffurnT]

Warning! Warning! Lecture Ahead!



Thank you! I think you, along with about a third of Christian girls, get it. Yes, of course we guys have a responsability to control what we look at and think. But that doesn't have anything to do with this issue. What so many of you do is like saying that an acoholic has a responsability to avoid drinking, and then offering him a beer. Or saying that it's ok to sneeze on people when you have a cold, because, after all, they have a responsability to stay fit and eat well. To those of you who get this, thank you so much. It does not go unnoticed. To those of you who don't, frankly, I don't blame you. I really don't think it is your fault, because I know from other issues that you are really trying to live a Godly life. And I know this from girls that I know in "real life" as well. But nevertheless, I think you are seriously missing what is going on. Please help us out a little here!

*Finally stops to take a breath.

Just think about it, please.

I couldn't have said it better It's good to know there are at least a few gals like fluffy out there. She is quite eloquent on this topic.

 

[hazeleyes80]

Naughty girl!!! Go to my room!!!

I honestly never thought about the guys side of this arguement. When i pick out pants and shirts i don't really know the difference between dressing attractive and classy. I mean all the clothes i own fit snug,,,not tight. If i buy the next size up they usually look baggy, espicially on my upper body.
If i buy a dress shirt that is loose on my arms, its super big on my chest. If it feels/looks about right on my chest its snug on my arms.
I have a getto butt from doing squats and excercises so pretty much any pair of dress pants i wear is going to show off my butt wether i like it to or not.
They don't cut clothes for guys with builds. So you pick out what looks good (and consider yourself lucky to find things that fit) cause you don't really have any other options.

I feel your pain with not being able to find clothes that fit correctly. When it comes to shirts, if it fits my shoulders, it's huge in the waist. If it fits my waist, it's tight in the shoulders. You're lucky you don't have to buy dresses. The fact that they're all one piece means that the woman that wears it has to be built exactly the way the manufacturer or designer thinks a woman should be built. They're an absolute nightmare for women who aren't either pear-shaped or perfectly hourglass shaped.

 

[tamtam92]

The solution : hand-made clothes !!!!

 

[Godjunkie]

It seems the moral of this story is that both guys and girls need to work for the better in this situation. Girls should try their best to not blatantly flaunt, and guys should try their best to fight the old hormones from getting carried away. (note that this applies both ways because of the "tanned, masculine arm situation")

We all need to think of dressing conservatively because, for example, from a male's perspective I can say that to nearly all men, women are the most beautiful and fascinating creation God could have possibly thought up. Most of us can't totally conquer sexual desires that try to run too far, but we need to work as hard as we can to keep them in check. I think we can all agree that help from conservative dressing is greatly appreciated.

 

[Raanan]

I recently read a thread talking about the temptations facing men everyday, in papers, magazines, TV or just in the street. Most of those things we can't do much about.

But I did hear a sermon recently about how young Christian women can realy bless men by dressing modestly and instead of tempting men with their clothes helping them resist temptation? I know women who have done this and its realy encouraging that they are being so thoughtful

I just thought I'd put down somethings that I find cause temptation for me:

Tops that show most of what only a woman's husband should see.

Realy tight tops.

Skirts that are too short!

Skin tight pants. (especially when girls walk up the stairs right in front of you)

Loose tops and women bending down towards you.


Is there anything else in particular guys find tempting? What do the girls think about trying to make life a little easier for the guys?

Dress modestly... woo. That whole concept bugs the **** out of me. Modesty is determined by your individual culture. Modesty in the states is not the same as modesty in Tahiti or modesty in Taliban controlled Afghanistan. Hell, women we consider modest in the states would have been considered immoral prostitutes in afghanistan where women were beaten for showing ankle when it was ruled by the taliban. In Tahiti, it's perfectly alright for a girl to be topless. Modesty is relative. Do what is right between you and God.

Girls causing men to lust... guys causing girls to lust... take some bloomin responsibility for yourselves. Some things are going to turn you on no matter. The only way to stop it from being another person would be to never have any interaction with another person ever. Even then, you still have your sex drive so you'll find something to get horny over. Deal with it instead of trying to push it off on the sex you're finding sexy.

 

[Inperfected]

Well... yes but lets go with the obviously enticing things such as really low cut tops? why can't us girls, MOST of the time, not wear this kinda of thing.. I think it most cultures that is somewhat enticing iisn't it?

 

[tamtam92]

Modesty is determined by your individual culture.

So we should dress modestly according to the country we live in. I live in France, so i can avoid the burqa, thank God... but i won't dress as earthly girls...

BTW, i think that in the end, modesty for christians is about the same in every part of the world... because, even in Tahiti, i'm sure christian girls won't be topless...

Eventually, i don't think modesty is tightly linked to culture...

 

[C.I. Scofield]

9. Blue jeans - You're not a plumber ;-)

Hey! Wait a Minute! I happen to think women in t-shirt and jeans is pretty doggone sexy now! Don't rob me of that! PLEASE! Sheesh!

CIS

 

[C.I. Scofield]

Finally, a girl who doesn't spend thirty minutes fumbling through her closet only to discover that she has nothing to wear!

and maybe a too!


ROFL!

CIS