Five Hours?

[faithgoeson]

The baby would cry if it were hungry, I would suggest you leave it alone.

Since the baby is on a schedule, it probably cried all the time when it was first born. Now, it's probably just used to starving. It gulps its' food down when the parents "allow" it to eat. That's the saddest thing I've ever read. When my little one was having trouble eating and gaining weight, she stopped crying and just slept. This baby we're reading about seems to be doing the same thing. This is dangerous.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

That's why I then went back and asked if it was on that kind of schedual from birth..I missed that part in the first post..To put a new born on a schedual like that is just cruel IMO...I don't even go 5 hours in between eating and to do that to a newborn is just sick!

 

[JulySheMustFly]

That's why I then went back and asked if it was on that kind of schedual from birth..I missed that part in the first post..To put a new born on a schedual like that is just cruel IMO...I don't even go 5 hours in between eating and to do that to a newborn is just sick!

That is a good point about how long we go between eating.

While I abhor schedules I understand why some parents use them, but 5 hours is too long unless they are sleeping through the night.

The other thing is when the child does cry, what does the cry sound like? Children who are suffering have a distinctive cry over healthy babies. There is also the weight gain issue. If the child isn't gaining and isn't getting to the doctor to work on that there is definate concern. Keep an eye out and if there is not change then even if it does become hostile you should step in. You could also call the peds office they attend and ask the simple question of what kind of feeding guidelines they advise new mothers to try. If it is comepletey against the recommendations of that ped office you could ask how they would suggest you approach the situaiton.

 

[ufonium2]

I don't know what happened the first week of the baby's life; we live 8 hours away, and didn't see the baby until she was 9 days old. She doesn't cry much at all, like once a day first thing in the morning. I can't really say if she looks thin or her eye are sunken in, because she's much smaller than the babies on my side of the family, My husband remarked that she seems proportioned like a little adult, rather than a baby, if that makes sense.

There are a lot of delicate family issues going on, as you've probably guessed. So, I think we'll lay off (since we live 8 hours away, it's kind of an all-or-nothing situation) and trust the doctor to intervene if necessary. I just hope they are truthful with the doctor about what they are doing--I know some people aren't. In fact, when I had my son, one of my cousins told me to read whatever literature the doctor gave me, and then lie to the doctor, telling her I was doing all that stuff. I'm like, "Or, I could actually do that stuff, trusting that a pediatrician probably knows more than me!"

 

[Linnis]

I'm wary to take parenting advice from a doctor. I mean my son's doc thinks I need to lengthen the time between his feedings. I know he still needs to eat every 2-2.5 hours. I thank her for her advice but sometimes parents know better.

Five hours does seem like a long time. my nephew is 8 years old and doesn't go five hours between meals.

While you watched her, was she wetting enough diapers? Was she dirtying enough? You know the whole 8-12 wet and or soiled diapers in a 24 hour periods means the baby is getting enough,

 

[ufonium2]

But if your doc asks you at the next visit how often your baby is eating, will you tell the truth? I think it's okay to have a difference of opinion with the doctor. But if you're not following his/her advice, yet giving him/her the impression that you are, it might mess up a diagnosis down the line.

In my cousin's case, her son was nearly two and was still almost exclusively on formula--wouldn't eat solid foods. Her doctor told her that he really needed to eat solid foods, and she agreed but then continued letting him live on formula, lying if the doctor asked about it. So if the kid develops obesity or another digestive problem, the doctor will run all sorts of unnecessary tests, and waste lots of time, only to discover that the kid has been living on milk, which is an easily identifiable cause if the mom would be honest.

 

[ufonium2]

As for the diapers, I don't really know. She wasn't awake enough to be changed 8-12 times a day, I guess. She had wet diapers, and at least one dirty diaper that I saw, but I couldn't hazard a guess as to how many.

 

[HeatherJay]

Do you have any reason to believe that the parents of this child would intentionally harm her? Do you have any reason to suspect that they would subject her to neglect?

 

[jgonz]

IMO, 5 hrs is too long between feedings. I also agree with those who said that the baby probably cried a Lot at first while they were instituting this stupid schedule and now has lost hope that she's going to eat any sooner.

I'm assuming this is a formula fed baby? Since formula fed babies tend to go about 4 hrs between bottles, 5 isn't too horribly awful... but I would still be Very concerned. Where did they Get that schedule from?!?

 

[Mayzoo]

Some people who are young get and accept advice from less than reliable sources. In my case, my mother told me to put my 4 month old on a scheduled feeding---every six hours. Regardless of how much or how long she cried--my mom stated she would just "get over it, and adapt to my way, if she didn't eat enough at a feeding tough--she would learn to eat more next time." Well long story, but I know my mother is not mentally stable--so I semi politely thanked her, and then ignored her. Some young parents don't know how to filter the bad advice from the good.

Any idea where she picked up this paticular schedule idea?

Mayzoo

 

[RedTulipMom]

Its possible that this mother has no intention of harming her baby and is only following someones advice and believes this is how often she needs to feed the baby. Due to her possible ignorance, i highly suggest..gently suggesting otherwise to the mom. Maybe even ask her WHO told her to wait that long between feedings? Also ask her if she is seeing the ped soon and if she is gaining weight? Honestly, if a baby is in any danger..that overrules any bad feeligns between family members. If you are concerned for this baby, step in and say SOMETHING to this mom. IF the poor baby is starving..she will thank you for it.

 

[nateboy]

I know people are saying "normal" varies a lot but really - 22 hours of sleeping and eating every 5 hours??? Also, how does every five hours cut into the 22 hours?? I dont' remember reading that they wake the baby up every five hours. If they do, then that is a good thing. If they just wait for the baby to wake up, I would be even more concerned. The baby probably is used to starving if she gulps down milk like it was written she did. The baby probably doesn't have energy. I can GUARANTEE you any doctor that here's that a baby slept for over 22 hours will feel there is a problem and will at least want to investigate. I worry about the baby being "failure to thrive" seriously. I am not saying this baby is starving, but after only a few days babies and infants truly do get weak and practically lose the ability to cry. I personally would ask them if it's normal for the baby to sleep that long and express your concern. Also, ask them where they got there 5 hour advice from for curiousity sake. Once you are able to understand where they are getting this belief from, you may be able to slowly tackle it from that angle. I just worry that this baby may not have time if this is the norm. I know some people may think I am going overboard but we are talking about an infants well being. A baby who is not even a month old yet. They may not even by aware of signs that there baby may not be well!!! That is what worries me the most.

I had a friend that breastfed her baby but she had no idea that she really wasn't producing a lot of breast milk. Her baby very rarely cried, if ever, and slept practically through the night - on breastmilk. I was a bit jealous because my son was three weeks younger and I was up ALL The time feeding that hungry lil' man. Her child was very small and hardly gained weight - but very very cute!! When the baby wasfive months old, the doctor figured it out and dx the baby with failure to thrive. The mother, my friend, was so completely heartbroken and confused. Her baby hardly ever cried!! My other friends and I concluded that the baby was used to being hungry and after a while didn't know what hunger was (get used to something long enough, you don't feel it). Oh, I do remember my friend saying that she only breastfed 10 minutes every three hours, which was strange, too. My friend is a very loving person but had no idea. Her baby wasn't crying a lot at all!! That is something we need to be aware of. After a point, babies may not cry a lot. That is from my experience and personal readings. If anyone disagrees, I encourage you to look it up and show me some information that contradicts what I am saying.

The main point is the welfare and safety of this child. I truly believe that the original poster feels in her heart that this child is in jeopardy, and it may not be intentional at all. In our hearts, we can tell. I really hope I am wrong. I pray that the long sleep episode was not the norm for this youngster...I truly pray for that.

 

[clycleader]

I am surprised by that. My lil man was eating about every 2-3 hours at that point. It fluctuated a bit, but not that much. He did eat a lot. He was breast fed, but I would guess he could down about 5 ounces. He fed about a half hour straight at a time.
I didn't read all the posts, but would you keep us posted as to what happens?

 

[clycleader]

Also, I would guess that if the baby is severely hungry, she may not have the strength to cry anymore. I've heard that of babies that are starving (like on the news and stuff). IMHO that's too long. Makes me sad.

 

[Surrender2Win]

Oh, I do remember my friend saying that she only breastfed 10 minutes every three hours, which was strange, too.

This I don't think is strange...my son only eats off one breast at a time, for about 10 minutes about every three hours (sometimes it's 2 1/2). He's four months old and he is 17 pounds...

I've been following up on this thread and haven't commented because I just don't know the entire situation so it makes it hard to say anything other then my opinion...and we all know about opinions.

So, I guess I'll give mine now, lol...

Since this is a delicate situation with all the family drama going on, I might call her up to chat & somewhere in the conversation in a nonchalant way bring up feeding schedules and such with the mother so I could get a better idea on what was going on. You (the OP) have a child, so it makes it convenient to bring up this kind of topic, you can talk about yours and more then likely she'll start to talk about hers. Then you can go from there in deciding what to do.

 

[nateboy]

Surrender2win: Interesting - my friend ended up not having already any milk, though. Your child sounds very healthy!! You are very lucky. I felt like a milking machine - every two hours and 30 minutes at a time.

I think you have a wonderful suggestion on how to bring up the conversation.