Five Hours?

[ufonium2]

Hey everyone,

I have a few questions, some practical, and some moral. We just got back from visiting some family for the holidays, and they have a two-week-old baby. So, she was nine days old when we got there for the visit. Anyway, the baby slept probably 22 hours a day (this is not an exaggeration) including sleeping through the night. I commented on this, because at that age our son never slept for more than 90 minutes at a stretch, and ate every 2.5 hours or so. Come to find out, they have their baby on a schedule and wait at least five hours between feedings. When she does eat, she eats five ounces at a time. I have no reference point for this, as our son was breast fed primarily at that age, but I know that he was probably four months old before he would eat five ounces at a feeding.

So my question is, do you all think there is significant potential for long-term harm if a baby is fed like that? Is her eating that much a coping mechanism, and if so will it allow her to get the nutrition she needs? I guess I freak out about this stuff because my son failed to thrive as a newborn (not because of scheduled feedings, though--I had milk supply issues) and now I can't stand the thought of him, or any baby, being hungry.

If there is the potential for damage from that schedule, is it great enough to say something? I mean, I don't want to interfere, but I don't want the kid to be disabled or something for her whole life because I was worried about being polite. What do you think? What would you do?

 

[RedTulipMom]

oh my goodness! that is unheard of! Where did this mother get such a crazy idea?? a 9 day old baby on formula should be fed about every 3 hours or so and about 2 ozs each feeding. im shocked the baby could even down 5 ozs at a time! wow! is the baby puking alot..i would think they would with that amount of formula at once..but then if it is only being fed every 5 hours it must be starving by the time it gets to eat. Did the baby cry alot when you were there? Can i ask..how BIG was the baby when it was born? I know that sometimes bigger babys DO eat a bit more..like if the baby was over 9 lbs it IS possible they would be ready for 3 oz feedings every 3 hours. I would seriously talk to this mother about not waiting 5 hours between feedings..is she doing this around the clock? i could see letting them sleep one 5 hour stretch during the night..but not feeding every 5 hours all around the clock at 2 weeks old..wow! i have never heard a recommendation from any doctor anywhere to wait 5 hours between feedings on a baby that age.

 

[sunshiinedays]

Five hours?? It's been a while since my kids were babies but I am sure that is too long! Mine ate about every hour and a half to 3 hours at that age though there was no way they could fit five ounces in their tummies at one feeding at nine days old. A friend of mine had a baby recently that slept a lot (though not that much), and he doctor told her to wake him up so he didn't miss feedings.

 

[ChrisCountryGirl]

Hey everyone,

I have a few questions, some practical, and some moral. We just got back from visiting some family for the holidays, and they have a two-week-old baby. So, she was nine days old when we got there for the visit. Anyway, the baby slept probably 22 hours a day (this is not an exaggeration) including sleeping through the night. I commented on this, because at that age our son never slept for more than 90 minutes at a stretch, and ate every 2.5 hours or so. Come to find out, they have their baby on a schedule and wait at least five hours between feedings. When she does eat, she eats five ounces at a time. I have no reference point for this, as our son was breast fed primarily at that age, but I know that he was probably four months old before he would eat five ounces at a feeding.

So my question is, do you all think there is significant potential for long-term harm if a baby is fed like that? Is her eating that much a coping mechanism, and if so will it allow her to get the nutrition she needs? I guess I freak out about this stuff because my son failed to thrive as a newborn (not because of scheduled feedings, though--I had milk supply issues) and now I can't stand the thought of him, or any baby, being hungry.

If there is the potential for damage from that schedule, is it great enough to say something? I mean, I don't want to interfere, but I don't want the kid to be disabled or something for her whole life because I was worried about being polite. What do you think? What would you do?

Wow!!!! I'd say something to the parents of the 2 week old baby. I'd be STARVING if I had to wait 5 hours between feedings. Poor baby.

 

[GolfingMom]

I would leave them alone. My first born didn't eat every 2-3 hours as suggested and slept ALL the time. He could last HOURS b/n feedings and he was content - NEVER cried and slept through the night at about 6 weeks.
Each child is different. The suggestion is every 2-3 hours feeding but not ever child will fit that mold. I guess I'm one who will offer advice to a parent when asked but I'm not one to freely give my advice to them.
If your friends ask you if this is normal - let them know how you feel but remember - not every baby is the same.
I didn't find any of what you said shocking. I think if the baby was really hungry or uncomfortable he/she would be wailing...

 

[ufonium2]

They feed her every five hours during the day, and she probably goes six or seven during the night. She weighs just under seven pounds, I think, so it's not her size that's causing her to eat so much at a time. She absolutely attacks the bottle when they give it to her, so I know she's really hungry. We watched the baby for them twice while we were visiting, so they could go out, and both times I fed her as much as she would eat as often as she would eat, I just felt so bad.

The thing is, this girl has a three-year-old, but when that child was a baby, they lived with her family (she was a single mom then) and I think her mom and grandmother did a lot of the raising, so that child probably ate a lot more often than mom realized or remembers.

I'm really upset about this, as is my husband, but we're at a loss as to what to do. My mother-in-law, the baby's grandma, lives in that city and is also worried, but she and the baby's mom don't have a good relationship, and we're thinking that any suggestion coming from our side of the family would fall on deaf, if not openly hostile, ears.

 

[HeatherJay]

You said the baby was sleeping, right? If the child isn't crying excessively, then I would assume that whatever their feeding arrangement is it's working for them.

I agree that I wasn't overly shocked by the OP. Babies do not possess the ability to be patient about anything, least of all food...they cry to express their immediate need. And you also can't force feed an infant more food than their bellies can handle. You can try, but it'll come right back up and cause them horrible stomach pains. Also, it's impossible to MAKE an infant sleep. They sleep when their bodies tell them to.

If this child is sleeping comfortably and is not crying excessively to express hunger or discomfort, then I would politely recommend that you mind your own business. Otherwise, I'd say you're just begging for unnecessary family strife.

 

[cristianna]

Given the family dynamics, yes it is probably going to come across hostile.

I would simply raise the concern/plant a seed with kid gloves and in a very compassionate manner, hope it's taken lovingly and move on. It sounds like it's inevitable feelings and pride will be hurt by the mother. Now if the baby was crying and they continued the routine... then I would say more drastic measures need to be taken to ensure there is no failure to thrive.

I do have to agree with golfingmom-- that baby would cry if it was hungry. My youngest also was not the "norm" infant. She was breastfed, slept 8-9 hours straight a night from day two and only fed every three or four hours-- always closer to the four hour mark.

 

[Katakalupto]

My child put herself on a schedule similar to that 4 days after she was born. She would sleep through the night, and sleep most of the day. She didn't eat as frequently as I thought she should have, but the doctor assured me she was fine. She was always in the 95th percentile. I was worried about her, but the doctor assured me I would know if she was starving by her cry, different babies have different needs.

 

[lucypevensie]

It does seem long, but as long as the baby is growing, happy, and otherwise fine I'd not worry about it. Keep an objective eye open though if you can't get it out of your mind.

 

[RoseofLima]

If baby is happy-- and the pediatrician isn't concerned...I wouldn't say a thing. If the baby is not gaining weight, the pediatrician will want to get to the root cause, and hopefully the parents will be receptive. Some newborns really do sleep a lot, some babies really do sleep through the night....I've never had one of those- but I know it does happen

Personally, I would stay out of it....and I would just follow their recommendations if I were watching the baby, as I would be very upset if I entrusted someone with the care of my child, but did not respect my wishes.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

You can not judge by the happiness of the baby or if they are sleeping comfortably, my daughter slept ALL the time and never cried her first three weeks, however she was losing weight and on the verge of dehydration. I also had milk supply issues with my first, and at three weeks put her on formula, she started sleeping less and being alert more, also had many wet diapers. The diapers are the main key. A baby that small should have at least 10-12 wet diapers a day, if they are not then they are not getting enough, regardless of how happy they appear. Sleeping 22 hours a day leaves only 2 hours for diaper changes and feedings, that is not enough. I would speak with her mom or grandma and see if they are concerned and if the same was done with the oldest, take it to them and let them take it to her.

 

[twob4me]

Every child is different. I wouldn't worry about it right now. But that's JMHO of course. Maybe just keep an eye on the situation.

 

[Linnis]

My mother said my brother went six hours between feedings from day one and by a month old he was sleeping 20 hours a day, only waking up 4 times a day to be changed and fed.

It seems bottle fed babies are so much more easy going. My friends have bottle fed babies and they sleep through the night and most of the day and only eat every 7-8 hours.

My baby says...Okay, Mum where's the food very loudly if we go more than 3 hours.

 

[HeatherJay]

My mother said my brother went six hours between feedings from day one and by a month old he was sleeping 20 hours a day, only waking up 4 times a day to be changed and fed.

It seems bottle fed babies are so much more easy going. My friends have bottle fed babies and they sleep through the night and most of the day and only eat every 7-8 hours.

My baby says...Okay, Mum where's the food very loudly if we go more than 3 hours.

Every baby's different. Mine were both bottle fed and went only 3-4 hours between feedings. And neither slept through the night until around 6 months old. "Normal' is a dangerous word, lol. Really, your only indication of 'normal' is if your baby is healthy and happy...and then whatever you're doing to get your baby there, THAT'S what's normal for yours, lol.

 

[faithgoeson]

Given the family dynamics, yes it is probably going to come across hostile.

I would simply raise the concern/plant a seed with kid gloves and in a very compassionate manner, hope it's taken lovingly and move on. It sounds like it's inevitable feelings and pride will be hurt by the mother. Now if the baby was crying and they continued the routine... then I would say more drastic measures need to be taken to ensure there is no failure to thrive.

I do have to agree with golfingmom-- that baby would cry if it was hungry. My youngest also was not the "norm" infant. She was breastfed, slept 8-9 hours straight a night from day two and only fed every three or four hours-- always closer to the four hour mark.

If the baby is malnourished, it may not have the energy to cry out. It could very well sleep until it has no energy to breathe. I would take it seriously if I believed the baby were in harm's way. If the parents won't listen, I'd be making a phone call. Did the baby's eyes look sunken in? Did it seem way to thin for the length it is? Was its cheekbones sunken in? Those are things I'd look for in a malnourished baby. If the baby seems to be a healthy weight, then it is probably okay. However, I'd be cautious and watch. You may be the only person who can help this child. The way it sounds, the poor baby is starving.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

The baby would cry if it were hungry, I would suggest you leave it alone.

 

[Linnis]

Every baby's different. Mine were both bottle fed and went only 3-4 hours between feedings. And neither slept through the night until around 6 months old. "Normal' is a dangerous word, lol. Really, your only indication of 'normal' is if your baby is healthy and happy...and then whatever you're doing to get your baby there, THAT'S what's normal for yours, lol.

That's why I don't use the word normal or try not to anyway.

Then again I may be seeing those babies who sleep a lot from the rose colored glasses from a mummy with a high needs 2 month old who hardly sleeps.

 

[ufonium2]

I don't get the impression that the five hour timespan is the baby's choice, if that makes sense. She's on a schedule, and gets fed on the schedule regardless. I know all babies are different--mine does lots of weird things--and I doubt I would get worked up about, or even notice, a baby that only got hungry every five hours. But the fact that it is scheduled that way kind of freaks me out. I mean, the Ezzos catch all kinds of flak for scheduling feedings three or four hours apart, and even they never advocated five.

So I guess I could deal with the five hour spacing (if it's natural), and I could deal with scheduled feedings, but I have trouble with the idea of imposing a strict five-hour schedule, if that makes sense.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

Well, now I'm confused...are the feedings schedualed or is this something the baby does naturally? I was under the impression that it was something the baby just did, if it's schedualed that way then I find it a bit odd..of course I don't believe in schedualed feedings unless the baby has a problem and needs to be on a schedual...I mean I guess the baby would still cry if it got hungry..but did she just start this schedual for her baby right after it was born? If she did then I would be interested in knowing why.