First time

[Godicon22]

Hi! Im new to this site and just wanted to share what i have experience for over a year now. My first time experience being single since birth. Im 26 years old already and since then i never experience having a boyfriend. I was raised in a very conservative Christian family as my father being a pastor, but they are not strict for us their child having boyfriend or girlfriend i just feel i dont like having one. Since child then i pray to God and promised myself that my first boyfriend will be my man forever thats my desire. I had a lot of crushes before, men wanted to pursue... but never ever entertained them but yet being friends with them thinking that it wasnt the right time. I desire Gods will... I desire a man that comes from Him. A man who will pursue me in prayer. A man who can build me up in Him with my relationship with God. At the age 22 seems no one comes I ask God to know that man at the age 25 for sure i will be ready on that time. God never fail me He showed me a vision with a man within my side while i was in the park. Its an assurance for me that He will grant my desire even i still dont know him who he was. Im 26 now, but last year I know this man. For over 5yrs weve been in the ministry together but never noticed him. Hes so closed to me treating him as my brother. We shared a lot together even those times our journey with Christ. I just notice him just last year and I dont know when it started? Maybe it started during in our church prayer meeting when he say to me he prayed for a special prayer and i just laughing at him and never entertained him. But i was strucked when he said to my churchmate in a joke seems that hes joking that hes praying for me asking God for a lovelife. I dont understand my heart that time and trying to control it and say "Lord, hes just joking! " but after all of those things happen. Im became not normal to him. I tried to treat him just like before but hes always teasing me that where meant to be. My churchmates even all people in the church teas us because he started it. And i dont know, it wasnt my first time to have a loveteam in the church since im still single. But it was my first time having this feeling i think my heart develops on him. Then i confirm then that maybe hes the one but until now im 26 he never pursue or making such move. Hes just joking around and i wanted assurance from him. I prayed to God that maybe i am doubting now because he never pursue. Hes serious now, yes were friends but not like before. I can feel the gap between the two of us. Just waiting him to move and waiting Gods intervention in between. Hes busy studying in a bible school and maybe thats the reason. But all i ask and pray now that if hes the one i will be having that assurance but if not God will vanish this what i feel for him because all i want is Hes will. But what should i do now? Is it right to still wait on him? I dont have assurance from him, hes just always joking around. But yet still love him... Or i just cant wait? Im just impatient...maybe. Or Im just assume something. Praying for Gods will.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

It could be that he's your IDA
every person, male or female, should have their IDA if they are to be with anyone. One who you Admire, Desire and one who Inspires you IDA.
But be very careful of what others have put in your mind. Advise to you is to comment back when they say God says your the one is reply 'I'm still waiting to here that from God myself' When you 'know' in your heart there will be no need to question.

 

[Godicon22]

Amen! Thank u my mentor advise the same too. I think i should only hope in God and no one else still Hes in control. Thank u!

 

[Godicon22]

And by the way yeah i am inspire by him but hes not my desire man and most admire man ive known i knew him a lot... I know hes flaws but despite everything still cant understand why still I have this feeling for him. And they said maybe its unconditional love...and maybe im strong spiritually than him thats why he cant pursue because his not ready but still i choose to listen only on God instead the voice around me.

 

[Dave-W]

If he is always "joking around," then it usually is difficult getting a proper read on someone. I am glad you have a mentor to help you thru this. I would suggest (if your feelings are getting stronger) that you have a sit-down serious talk with him and let him know what is going on. He may feel the same but not know how to approach you (so he jokes) or he may be at the place where he does not know how he feels. (its a guy thing) But if you talk and get on the same page, you can both be praying about the relationship.

To me it sounds like there is a good potential there.

 

[Dave-W]

but still i choose to listen only on God instead the voice around me.

Scripturally, we are instructed to listen to those around us:

Proverbs 11:14
Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 15:22
Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.

 

[Godicon22]

Thank you! But I already confronted him by chatting him. I opened to him what i feel but not that obvious but i know he gets on it. But he just reply we will talk soon. Hard to talk to him seriously in person. He always change the topic... We always talk only about ministry and im a kind of woman to always respect a man what he wants. Im conservative one. Hes hard to gets. He always said we will talk soon but never pursue or asking me for that soon.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

And by the way yeah i am inspire by him but hes not my desire man and most admire man ive known i knew him a lot... I know hes flaws but despite everything still cant understand why still I have this feeling for him. And they said maybe its unconditional love...and maybe im strong spiritually than him thats why he cant pursue because his not ready but still i choose to listen only on God instead the voice around me.

It's a decision that will affect the rest of your life and not one to be taken lightly. Being strong spiritually is a reason not to be unequally yoked. It's God's plans that need first consideration and all the rest will follow. There is too much pressure to be married but if your not burning with desire Paul's advise is to remain single.

 

[Godicon22]

Scripturally, we are instructed to listen to those around us:

Proverbs 11:14
Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 15:22
Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.

Amen! We should and I should but in making decisions still its Gods voice in me. And maybe somehow people around me will be used by Him to speak but still its all about my sensitivity and my personal relationship with Him that i can hear. Thank u reminding me.

 

[Dave-W]

You are most welcome. Of course the decision to go for it or not is yours. But it is always wise to get and seriously consider outside opinions. Much less chance of being led astray by our own emotions and pre-conceptions.

 

[Godicon22]

It's a decision that will affect the rest of your life and not one to be taken lightly. Being strong spiritually is a reason not to be unequally yoked. It's God's plans that need first consideration and all the rest will follow. There is too much pressure to be married but if your not burning with desire Paul's advise is to remain single.

Amen! But its not unequally yoke Hes pastors kid also and hes actually graduating now in bible school masteral course. Hes strong spiritually but many just think im more strong spiritually than him because maybe of of some guy things. Yeah thats why i consider this a lot. God willing... Thank u again.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

You are most welcome. Of course the decision to go for it or not is yours. But it is always wise to get and seriously consider outside opinions. Much less chance of being led astray by our own emotions and pre-conceptions.

I think that would apply more to one wanting to jump in head first rather than one questioning their feelings. No one but God can bring peace to any decision. Sometimes it is beyond understanding but the verses used about seeking advise are not in context to marriage.

 

[Godicon22]

You are most welcome. Of course the decision to go for it or not is yours. But it is always wise to get and seriously consider outside opinions. Much less chance of being led astray by our own emotions and pre-conceptions.

Yeah i agree! But still its nice to decide when it was Gods will after everything you still go back in Him.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Amen! But its not unequally yoke Hes pastors kid also and hes actually graduating now in bible school masteral course. Hes strong spiritually but many just think im more strong spiritually than him because maybe of of some guy things. Yeah thats why i consider this a lot. God willing... Thank u again.

A guy thing leaves too much ambiguity in calling it a mystery so don't think about that. The guy thing is what you will find to be your responsibility so best to understand it now.

 

[Godicon22]

A guy thing leaves too much ambiguity in calling it a mystery so don't think about that. The guy thing is what you will find to be your responsibility so best to understand it now.

Yes by Gods grace maybe i started to understand it theres a lot of things beyond that guy thing but just what would Jesus do in dealing with it. I know hes flaws because hes very open to me even asking me and my leaders praying for him and so as mine. I just say that i dont admire him or have desire in him if i saw him what my human eyes see even on his imperfection i see him as what God see on him. And what God also see on me.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Yes by Gods grace maybe i started to understand it theres a lot of things beyond that guy thing but just what would Jesus do in dealing with it. I know hes flaws because hes very open to me even asking me and my leaders praying for him and so as mine. I just say that i dont admire him or have desire in him if i saw him what my human eyes see even on his imperfection i see him as what God see on him. And what God also see on me.

You sound very wise. Responsibility should only be to God. Be blessed.

 

[Dave-W]

Sometimes it is beyond understanding but the verses used about seeking advise are not in context to marriage.

Since almost every marriage back then was arranged by the parents, I do not think you can discount the overall thrust of the verses just because that was a non-issue back then.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Since almost every marriage back then was arranged by the parents, I do not think you can discount the overall thrust of the verses just because that was a non-issue back then.

Ok well if you think well meaning advise is based on pre-arranged marriage theology then that's your prerogative to give it but people see past cultures that hold no meaning to them.

 

[Godicon22]

You sound very wise. Responsibility should only be to God. Be blessed.

But thank u so much for reminding me again. God bless you too.

 

[Dave-W]

Ok well if you think well meaning advise is based on pre-arranged marriage theology then that's your prerogative to give it but people see past cultures that hold no meaning to them.

We are advising this young woman. The point I am making is the principle of getting outside counsel is broad and covers every area of life. THe choice whether to follow it or not is entirely up to her and she should be hearing God on this for herself. Counsel can help clarify what is from God and what is from somewhere else.