I have joined Backyard Chickens, Bee Forums among many others but I have never even been tempted to join a Christian Forum...until now. I never was inside a church until I was 19. But I had a sense of God and Jesus from watching Billy Graham crusades on tv. Went to church very sporadically through my adult years and raising my children. I have been baptized and worked so many years as a nurse (I just retired) I lost my husband 8 years ago and my 4 children are all very busy, so I spend the majority of my time alone. It has been rough these last 8 years. It wasn’t great before, but this period in my life has not been good. I have been so troubled and I think under conviction. So I started reading the Bible. Every night. I was so surprised at how little I knew. And it seemed to uplift me. I am not comfortable going to church, I want to explore this on my own right now. I started watching movies on Netflix about different prophets in the Bible, about Jesus, that is all I have been doing or wanted to do. Then I looked on YouTube. And I watched debates between skeptics and believers and that is where I have hit a brick wall. The arguments given by the skeptics and scholars made me doubt my new found hope. I don’t know if that hope is gone forever. My faith was so new and so vulnerable. As I was searching online for some proof my belief was real I happened upon a post made on your site and that is what led me here