first baby......

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

how much comes naturally... i have not had much expierence with infants and am in a silly way, scared. I just have this fear that im not gonna feed him enough or im not gonna do something right. my husband hasnt even changed a diaper before. i know it will all be ok, but i am a little timid.

 

[lucypevensie]

It's not silly to be scared! If you were not at least a little bit scared then I'd think you might have a problem. I'm sure most everyone experiences those types of fear, like you're not going to feed him enough, or (fill in the blank). The thing is, sometimes you will make a mistake. I know, probably not what you wanted to hear. But if you are a person who possesses a reasonable amount of common sense those mistakes will not be anything that will cause lasting harm to the baby. If you're normal you should notice if your baby's not gaining weight, if the diaper is leaking, the bath water is too warm or cold.

Go ahead and take some of those classes in baby care that hospitals offer. You might be surprised at how little you know (or how much you know). You can also choose from thousands of books on baby care. You'd be safe with most any books in the mainstream.

Also, be sure to take the baby in for scheduled checkups. Your doctor can be of so much help and support. You should be able to ask any questions or share concerns. Once when I took my son for his checkup she informed me that I wasn't getting his "parts" clean enough when he got changed and bathed. It was just my silly mistake (I thought I was doing the job fine), but she kindly pointed out my error and I was thankful.

Accept help if it is offered, even if it's something small. THe first 2 months or so can be a very huge challenge, and if you're like me you might feel like everything's going WRONG. But it gets easier.

 

[Katydid]

Hey, don't feel bad, I have three and I am still scared. It is normal to be scared, but use your resources. Take advantage of lactation counselors, walk in to a health department or clinic and just ask to use their scale (we did this with my daughter who was having problems). Most people are more than willing to help out. As far as changing a diaper, well, you may be slow at first, but now I am at #3 with 2 still in diapers and we have an assembly line. Lay down, take off one, clean, take off other, clean, put new ones on (my oldest helps with this part) redress. It would actually probably shock some people if they came in for our morning routine. You get the hang of it while you go. Be alright with being nervous because it is a lifelong fear. You will be afraid you aren't feeding them enough, then they get older and you are afraid they aren't developing right, then you get afraid they aren't learning enough and if what my mom says is true, then you start worrying about driving, alcohol, sex etc. etc. then the whole marriage thing, grandkids, and the list goes on. If you aren't scared at all, then you don't care. Fear shows that you care, you worry about your child. It is OK.

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

If you aren't scared at all, then you don't care. Fear shows that you care, you worry about your child. It is OK.

thanks,
thanks for both your comments... i know it will be just fine. *sigh*
i just want to have him now and get through the first hard months..lol

 

[CarrieAg93]

We had an awesome pediatrician which helped immensely. He practicly told us how and when to do everything. The funny thing is that I felt less sure with my 2nd. I guess they assume since you've already done it once you know what to do, but I forgot everything.

 

[psychoceramic]

how much comes naturally... i have not had much expierence with infants and am in a silly way, scared. I just have this fear that im not gonna feed him enough or im not gonna do something right. my husband hasnt even changed a diaper before. i know it will all be ok, but i am a little timid.

dont fret.... and dont buy the book what to expect....... it can scare you or your spouse.......... it can also be a big help.. if you dont go overboard when reading.. for example.. i was reading the book and it had just talked about thrush on babys tongues... and i saw my baby with a white coating over her tongue.. and i screamed she has thrush..... my wife was not amused.... being a nurse and all...and banned me from the book for a while...... (LOL)

as for raising the baby... it come natural... and it is a very big joy and blessing......when he urps up all over his clothes and yours.. then you have feed him enough... (just kiidng.... ) babys know when to say when.......our little one tells us when she is done.. (she spits the bottle out) and when she is hungry..... (crys crys crys)


the cool part is that they have thier own cry for what they need... my little one....kayleigh.. cries different for food or wet diaper or anything else..... it is very cool.......


most of all just hang in thier and if your in doubt call the doc......or a friend.... and learn... = : >

God bless you and you baby and hubby.. may you truly enjoy this time.....
Lord God show them the truth and the light and the way to raise thier child up in you and that you will help them in every area.... may you remind them to pray daily hourly and moment by moment and teach the child the word of God. May you bless them and keep them all healthy and wise in your ways.....
AMEN

in JESUS,
psycho

 

[EmSchmem]

around here at least, the nurses will teach you some basics before you even leave the hospital. If you have friends that have infants, start helping them out. Go over and have them show you how to do things. I am sure noone will mind someone else changing a diaper for once. and I think as much as you love that kid, the motherly instincts that God designed you with will kick in some.

 

[EmSchmem]

And btw, I'm not any less scared than you, I just happen to be having a VERY rational day today. I'm sure I'll be back to freaking out by tomorrow.

 

[Zoomer]

I was scared with my first. I was a 20 years old, only child who never baby sat, changed diapers, or even held an infant. I read ALOT while I was pregnant. I read every babycare book that I could get my hands on, and spent a good portion of my time at the library. I also signed my husband and myself up for a baby care class at the hospital. It showed how to do all the basic things like bathing, changing diapers, feeding, and overall how to care for a newborn. I also took advantage of the nurses and lactation consultants while in the hospital with my daughter.

 

[Leanna]

I hadn't held a baby in YEARS until my baby was born. But you learn a few thing sin the hospital, read some books, and it all goes well enough.

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

Thanks you guys.... i will be doing a lot of reading and a lot more praying.... i know it will all be great!!

 

[mamaneenie]

I have to admit I am more scared with my 2nd than I was with my first.


I guess because I know what to expect (sleepless nights and sore nipples) and how real everything is, I am not expecting to get much sleep for the first 7mths, but praying this baby will start sleeping through earlier.


My husband had never changed a nappy before we had our son either, (I have been a nanny and seen it all, I was expecting after the birth to be like supermum or something and be able to handle it all.) However, I had an emergency c/s and didn't get out of bed for 2 days after he was born, dh was taught by the nurses to change the nappies, and also did the first bath, with me watching on longingly. (still makes me sad to think of it to be honest) But I guess it was his time to learn to bond, that's important for Dads too.


Learn as much as you can, go to mothers groups, playgroups, whatever is available in your area, speak to your own mum, grandma, anyone who's been there.

 

[Utah Knight]

my wife was timid but we have had a daughter since sat. and she says it just comes natrally for her instintcs kick in and the nurseing staff at the hospital will do what they can to help just be patient and pray

 

[karla]

Just remember to trust your instincts - you'll "know" a lot more than you think you do. I remember when I had Kaitlyn, I was terrified that she wasn't eating enough - I was breastfeeding and for some reason she would only want to eat from my left breast for about a month or so. It was hard because with bf you don't see how much they are eating. But lo and behold we made it to our first check up and she really gained weight. after each dr. visit I was more convinced that I knew what I was doing.

You'll be fine and don't forget to seek advice from other mom's when you are unsure and also when people offer advice that you are not looking for, smile, nod, and then do what YOU feel is right.

 

[OracleX]

I know I was freaking out a few times prior to my daughter being born, but once she was born it really surpised me on how natural it was. There are a few tings here and there than it helps to have your mother or mother-in-law help with. For the most part I found that it really was common sense. I never read any books on how to do anything, my wife did a bit but not that much.

On the other hand my brother-in-law and his wife read every book they could get their hands on and things went horribly bad. That poor child ended up in hospital a couple times because of simple things getting way out of hand. They thought they knew it all. After seeing what happened with them I discourage people from reading too much prior to having a baby. They completely threw commonsense out the window and followed a couple books ridgly and they ended up really hurting the development of their daughter.

 

[Picture.Of.Obedience]

I know I was freaking out a few times prior to my daughter being born, but once she was born it really surpised me on how natural it was. There are a few tings here and there than it helps to have your mother or mother-in-law help with. For the most part I found that it really was common sense. I never read any books on how to do anything, my wife did a bit but not that much.

On the other hand my brother-in-law and his wife read every book they could get their hands on and things went horribly bad. That poor child ended up in hospital a couple times because of simple things getting way out of hand. They thought they knew it all. After seeing what happened with them I discourage people from reading too much prior to having a baby. They completely threw commonsense out the window and followed a couple books ridgly and they ended up really hurting the development of their daughter.

Wow thats awful... good thing i dont like to read....lol.... we just signed up for some classes the hospital offers.

 

[Carina]

Good for you that you signed up for baby classes. I am sure they will be of good help. Try not to worry. Things will be fine. Like the others say, nature will kick in and you will be fine. The first months can be the hardest. I had my 3rd baby 2 months ago. I am bottle feeding, but he is quite difficult in getting regular and that can gets tiring, but you just do what you feel is right.

Try to pick up lots of things while you are in hospital and don't hesitate to ask questions, you are not stupid if you ask a question that might sound silly to some people. It shows you care.

Here in Holland you get a nurse at your house during the day for like 6 days or so. And that is wonderful, they take care of everything, mostly baby and mommy, but also the housekeeping and the other kids and the visitors. And it sure was a blessing with this last one, I really enjoyed it.

You hang in there and enjoy the last months of your pregnancy. Also take enough rest while you still can.

Feel free to email me or PM me or whatever, if you have any questions.

GOD BLESS

CARINA

 

[yeshuaskid]

If you weren't a little scared...we would all be worried! It's completely natural. My husband had a daughter before ours and I was still scared. As long as you keep that apprehension you will be able to learn and will be an excellent mommy.

 

[RedTulipMom]

reading books on parenting and taking care of a baby are good. But keep in mind there are alot of conflicting opinions out there. Dont take one book as "THE TRUTH". Always remember that you have motherly instincts. Sometimes you try something that is in a book and it "doesnt feel right". Most likely that is your instincts kicking in and telling you it isnt working. Remember all babies are differerent! VERY DIFFERENT! What works for one doesnt work for another! My two sons were very different. My youngest crawled at 5 mos old. My second son is 9.5 mos and still not crawling. My first son slept through the night starting at 3 mos old. My second son STILL doesnt sleep through the night. My first son went to bed at 11pm and was a night owl. My second son goes to bed at 7pm and is a total morning baby! Even in the same family kids can be very different in their temperment and personalities. My first son would go to anyone and had no stranger anxiety at all. My second son has been having stranger anxiety for months now and doesnt want anyone but mommy. He is much more affectionate and clingy than my first son who was much more independent! You need to see how the babys personality forms. Some babys are much more sensitive than others. Some babys are much more independent than others. My son LOVES his swing and has spent the last 9 mos loving it. i know other babys who have NO interest in their swing at all. Ask other moms questions, read books..and most of all listen to what your heart is saying. Feel free to PM me if you ever have any questions or need advice with the baby. God bless.
karen