Fire Mist RPG: Seeking new writers

[Blessed-one]

I was kinda hoping that Xer and Soiren would be a bit more forthcoming with their quest

well, the sword's quite important, someone might want to steal it knowing what it is. And it's natural to be suspicious to strangers, in particular humans living in a place where no humans should live!

but have Jodi or Vrain realise that Xer is fighting with an ordinary sword while he has another better looking sword around (judging by the sheath), Xer might answer if one of them asked?

and how does Vrain know about Soiren's talent? now if it was Xer that would be different...

 

[cyberwing]

Is that okay Buskanaka?? I put Jodi in a fine mess......

 

[Blessed-one]

ops, i misread your bit, Bus. Got it now.

 

[Buskanaka]

but have Jodi or Vrain realise that Xer is fighting with an ordinary sword while he has another better looking sword around (judging by the sheath), Xer might answer if one of them asked?

ok will do

but they haven't noticed yet because there hasn't been any fighting?

cyberwing, I don't think Jodi would have the strength to hold off a wolf as big as a horse... in fact I don't know that Xer or Vrain would be able to either.

 

[cyberwing]

Well, I would disagree. Adrenylin can do amazing things to a person. Both wolf and person fell so her efforts to hold it off of her were mere seconds. She really didn't hold it off of her for very long. Tolari smashed it away with her tail within seconds. I will edit though to show her efforts were not being successful.

 

[Buskanaka]

ok, maybe hold it off if she had it by the throat it wouldnt have much leverage from that position, I dunno about the part where she squeezes it and forces it to escape...

 

[Blessed-one]

i kind of agree with Bus, consider how young Jodi is and that she is female. Plus the wolf is the size of a horse?

ok will do but they haven't noticed yet because there hasn't been any fighting?

yeah, i forgot they aren't fighting..

 

[cyberwing]

okay Bus.... (Sorry it took so long to get to the edit! -ISP problems) Jodi has the creature by the throat yes, (which if you have ever wrestled with a very BIG dog, this is the closest you come to having them at a disadvantage)!!! LOL The only thing that saves Jodi though is Tolari's tail slamming the creature OFF of Jodi. I guess I didn't make this clear, so let me rewrite this and let me know if you think that will work. Jodi is not a super hero by ANY means, she is a naive, impetuous young girl!!

---------------
Blessed One, seriously adrenalin is truly amazing. I have never in my life been able to lift three hundred pounds, ever... before or since...but in the middle of a tornado, with eight little girls to take care of as a camp counselor, I ran 1/4 of a mile through wind and rain with six of them hanging off of my arms held straight out! They averaged about 60 lbs probably (they were third graders) The girls told me later, they were not running, I was carrying them and they were just hanging on to my arms like a gym bar! The only two girls that could run fast enough to keep up were hanging onto my shirt tail and running behind me. I would have sworn I could no more have done that than I could sprout wings and fly but... I did it when that tornado was bearing down on us!!! LOL


Seriously though, please review the rewritten version and see if you think it reads better. Let me know if it doesn't or if you see more problems, it can always be edited!
~Cyberwing

 

[Buskanaka]

yeah that's good now

sorry for seeming so critical, it just didn't seem realistic and made the direwolf seem like a harmless little puppy. but it's all good now

 

[Blessed-one]

wow.. glad to hear you guys escaped that tornado! yeah, one can show extraordinary things in a life threatening situation.

sorry for seeming so critical, it just didn't seem realistic and made the direwolf seem like a harmless little puppy. but it's all good now

i don't know about cyberwing, but i love people being critical and discussions on reality stuff in stories.. it not only helps the one being criticised, but the ones who do the criticising (else we wouldn't know about the tornado thing!).

 

[cyberwing]

Buskanaka-
no, I'm glad you did bring it up.... I think you were absolutely right, the way I had written it, didn't show clearly how I had it in my mind. My bad.... My fingers just weren't keeping up with the images in my head!!! LOL thank you for bringing it up. I apologize I didn't respond with more grace.... forgive me?


Blessed-One,
I had heard those stories about women picking up cars to rescue their loved ones but until that tornado I thought it was just a bunch of stories....... hehehe, I found out that sheer terror can make you do things you NEVER dreamed possible! ROFL!!!

 

[Buskanaka]

no probs cyber, you're forgiven! I didn't want to seem like I was criticising everything... hehe I'm good at it aren't I Blessed?

 

[The Duke]

Is it too late to join this? I have an elf character. I just thought that this looked pretty cool, and if it's possible, I'd like to join.

 

[cyberwing]

Hello Duke!
Certainly you can join. Get a character description up and have your character stumble upon the group or have a purpose in seeking out the dwarves or the Silver Dragons themselves?? If you would like help figuring out a history... a reason your character is joining the group, either myself, Buskanaka or Blessed-One can help you. Great to have you join us! God bless you!
~Cyberwing

 

[The Duke]

Thanks. I'll be there after my chores are done .

 

[The Duke]

Alright, I didn't see anyone post a link to their character's information in the rpg, so I'm going to post mine here, like I saw some others do. Anyway, here's my guy:

http://www.christianforums.com/t712179

 

[Buskanaka]

woo an elven street bum

 

[Blessed-one]

i suppose we can weave that in.. due to the stuff happening in Peria, but have you checked the background of Christia about the elves, Duke? they mainly live in the uh, five elven forests on the map. And the elves have to come from one of them (each one has different groupings of personalities too)

and glad to have you join us!

BTW, sing out if you couldn't find the profiles of our characters, i can post them up for you.

 

[Buskanaka]

yeah I don't think there's too many elven villages around the place...

 

[The Duke]

I apologize. My character is searching for a new home and is ignorant of many locations outside of his original place of dwelling, apparently as am I. I changed the post a bit, just the journal entry, so it's a little better I hope. I had read over some of the geography and such, I guess it just hadn't clicked, so sorry.

Also, if it's not too much of a bother, could you post the characters' profiles? I looked and I found some, but not all. Thanks.