Finding common ground with catholics

[Goodbook]

I am not a catholic and only have one close friend who is.
Actually we get on quite well now although some things i had difficulty with before as didnt understand certain things bout her church. But thats ok, we dont need to talk about that, and it rarely comes up.

But ehat do you do when a catholic starts talking things like the pope, or rosary, or adoring Mary, or statues and mass and expects you to know what they on about?
Or worse, insist that everything they do is biblical when you know in your heart they have good intentions but its just not Gods way. Just dont say anything? I dont want to get into arguments with them.

Then they start thinking you hate them and their church and brand you heretic. But maybe you just pointing out some things that you find a bit quetionable, but then they dont like you asking so many questions. I dont know. im starting to think that just gets me protesting, and then they label me a protestant. But im not protesting as such, just defending the faith once delivered to the saints, except from their POV its everyone else who isnt catholic that is wrong and doesnt get it.

Meh!
Will i get in trouble from catholics for expressing my view and what the bible says? I seem to always! But i didnt bring up the topic?!

 

[yesyoushould]

But ehat do you do when a catholic starts talking things like the pope, or rosary, or adoring Mary, or statues and mass and expects you to know what they on about?
Or worse, insist that everything they do is biblical when you know in your heart they have good intentions but its just not Gods way. Just dont say anything? I dont want to get into arguments with them.

That's always a fun one. Just ignore them.
Mankind isn't special in that respect, only God is. The Bible says that "God is not the author of confusion." So we are in the clear.


Besides, who want's to hang around others who think your always wrong all the time? yuck, not me.

 

[Goodbook]

Yea. I should just not say anything and not take the bait.
They can believe what they like, but sometimes it just really annoys me whenthey go off on weird tangents like that. Its also like how JWs think its always the end of the world.

 

[Goodbook]

One time was in a tricky situation with a lady, didnt know she was catholic, started praying, and then...she started chanting or reciting prayers for all the dead in purgatory..and I was like..hmm should I say amen to that prayer?

It was kinda weird.

 

[yesyoushould]

Yea. I should just not say anything and not take the bait.
They can believe what they like, but sometimes it just really annoys me whenthey go off on weird tangents like that. Its also like how JWs think its always the end of the world.

We are just human. God says love Him,(honestly that solves every problem), and love one another,(accomplished by loving God). All things are good and God loves all of us very much and will allow us to understand if it benefits us for His glory. There is nothing to worry about, because Love is all that matters.

 

[Goodbook]

Ok. I think some of them on a particular forum are mad at me now.
But I dont have to answer or respond in kind.

 

[yesyoushould]

One time was in a tricky situation with a lady, didnt know she was catholic, started praying, and then...she started chanting or reciting prayers for all the dead in purgatory..and I was like..hmm should I say amen to that prayer?

It was kinda weird.

Yeah, that sounds weird. But honestly you can just be like, "yeah, that isn't for me." "God help us."

Gods wisdom is perfect for you, easily understand and easily entreated. Peaceful and loving. When God speaks to you, it will be perfect.

 

[LoricaLady]

If they hate you or brand you as a heretic for disagreeing, that is very concerning for them. In that case I would say you no longer want to talk about religious matters as you know there will be disagreement that is likely to lead to negative feelings.

Praying for wisdom and guidance for you.

 

[pdudgeon]

concentrate first on what you have in common with your friend, and build on that foundation.

 

[suzeequeue]

just love your friend and be a good friend to her, and equally as important, pray for her. i am praying for you and her. God bless.

 

[Autumnleaf]

This topic always gets a chuckle out of me. Its like a high schooler rolling their eyes at how naive their 45 year old parent is who just doesn't get it.

The Catholic Church is the mature version of whatever church you go to. After two thousand years lots of history and rules make it what it has become. Spirituality is there, but its a well ordered kind. Jesus started the Catholic Church with the apostle Peter. Since then its had highs and lows and its still around.

My advice is simply this:

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
--HERBERT SPENCER

 

[bluegreysky]

I think to show your support for your friend, you could attend a catholic mass once or maybe twice. It doesn't mean you have to buy into everything they believe or join that church but it shows that you take a genuine interest in understanding. After all, it is still a church that preaches about God and Christ and the bible.
I wouldn't recommend joining a friend on a satanist ritual if you ever had one like that.
As far as the fact that what they believe is different... the main dif. my church has always pointed out isn't the saints. it's the fact that a catholic believes they can do good deeds to erase sin and that they can sin and then just confess it at church and it's gone.
The confessing of a sin can lift a burden off your heart, but the deeds won't erase sin.
This is where you can pray for them and encourage them to receive Christ... but don't try to make them leave their church. That will ruin the friendship.

I have friends at our (presbyterian) church a husband and wife and he comes from a catholic upbringing and wants her and the kids to choose in the next year or so... this church or his... and stop going to both.
They are in the middle of this sort of difference in views right now.

 

[Autumnleaf]

This whole denominations thing is a man made barrier between people. Its like asking if the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force are the one true defender of America. Of course the rest are imposters who the others should shun with prejudice.

God sees us all as a field of flowers. Some are red and some are yellow and some are blue. He doesn't say, 'Only the blue ones will go to Heaven and the rest SHALL burn in the fires of Gehenna for eternity!!'

I think God cuts us a bit more slack than some people think. The older I get the more I realize I'm just marching in His parade and its going to begin and end according to His will.

 

[Albion]

I am not a catholic and only have one close friend who is.
Actually we get on quite well now although some things i had difficulty with before as didnt understand certain things bout her church. But thats ok, we dont need to talk about that, and it rarely comes up.

But ehat do you do when a catholic starts talking things like the pope, or rosary, or adoring Mary, or statues and mass and expects you to know what they on about?
Or worse, insist that everything they do is biblical when you know in your heart they have good intentions but its just not Gods way. Just dont say anything? I dont want to get into arguments with them.

Then they start thinking you hate them and their church and brand you heretic. But maybe you just pointing out some things that you find a bit quetionable, but then they dont like you asking so many questions. I dont know. im starting to think that just gets me protesting, and then they label me a protestant. But im not protesting as such, just defending the faith once delivered to the saints, except from their POV its everyone else who isnt catholic that is wrong and doesnt get it.

Meh!
Will i get in trouble from catholics for expressing my view and what the bible says? I seem to always! But i didnt bring up the topic?!

Those folks sound like hotheads, and people like that can be found in many different denominations. Usually, it's recent converts who think they at last have found the answer to everything by subscribing to what has been told them by leaders who claim to be infallible or that their church is the only real church. Most Roman Catholics do not behave this way, however.

But saying that doesn't help you much, since your acquaintances are the belligerent type.

The only way to handle them IMO is to avoid discussions of religion as much as possible, and if it comes up from them, just say, in one way or another, "If that's what you want to believe...." or "I believe that God doesn't belong to any particular denomination."

Never, never, allow the idea to be held by them that you don't have a serious commitment to Christ and to your own church, however. But, again, the way to do this is with a simple affirmation, not the invitation to a debate--something like "We have a different understanding of what the Bible teaches on that point," etc. Then drop the discussion, since you already know that nothing good can come of getting deeper into the subject with those persons. And do not go along with some of their customs just to be polite. This only confirms in them that you don't know your own mind.

 

[BFine]

I am not a catholic and only have one close friend who is.
Actually we get on quite well now although some things i had difficulty with before as didnt understand certain things bout her church. But thats ok, we dont need to talk about that, and it rarely comes up.

But ehat do you do when a catholic starts talking things like the pope, or rosary, or adoring Mary, or statues and mass and expects you to know what they on about?

*I did a lot of research on many religions years ago...still do it to a certain extent.
When I was young I had it in mind to become a nun... that got shoot down
pretty quickly after my studies, prayer and time spent with various catholic
friends/associates etc.
I have a curious mind and I'm usually researching/studying about something lol!
Depending on the conversation about the aforementioned things, one could
look into what those things mean and how they relate to the catholic faith--
that is, if you are of the mind to. If you don't know about such things, I would
either just ask questions, skip commenting, move on to another subject.


Or worse, insist that everything they do is biblical when you know in your heart they have good intentions but its just not Gods way. Just dont say anything? I dont want to get into arguments with them.

*I know many religious people who believe everything they do is biblical or God is OK with it...even though the scriptures say it's sinful.
If the person sincerely wants to know something then I would reply but if
they are just trying to goad me into arguing/debating, I try to avoid that if possible.
You may have to limit the amount of time you spend with friends who want
to "stir the pot".




Then they start thinking you hate them and their church and brand you heretic. But maybe you just pointing out some things that you find a bit quetionable, but then they dont like you asking so many questions. I dont know. im starting to think that just gets me protesting, and then they label me a protestant. But im not protesting as such, just defending the faith once delivered to the saints, except from their POV its everyone else who isnt catholic that is wrong and doesnt get it.

*Choose your battles and your friends carefully.



Meh!
Will i get in trouble from catholics for expressing my view and what the bible says? I seem to always! But i didnt bring up the topic?!

*Chances are, you will get in trouble with anyone (regardless of their denomination) if your ideas/beliefs differ from theirs.
There are some who truly don't mind discussing religious differences, they
are hard to find but worth the effort/time it takes to locate them.

 

[quietpraiyze]

One time was in a tricky situation with a lady, didnt know she was catholic, started praying, and then...she started chanting or reciting prayers for all the dead in purgatory..and I was like..hmm should I say amen to that prayer?

It was kinda weird.

hahahahaha...This happened twice to me. One time with some one who started with the Word and then ended up with some catholic saint/prayer! I was like "what?!!...wait!!!" LOL. The second time some individuals were praying for me and evoked the name of a notorious televangelist! After the prayer I had to ask them to not do that again but I never asked them to pray for me again. I don't care what anybody says, I just can't...

 

[parsley]

But maybe you just pointing out some things that you find a bit quetionable, but then they dont like you asking so many questions.

They come from the standpoint of having followed the doctrines, probably for many years. You are coming from that sort of standpoint too. You have spent time developing what you believed. She has too.

If you approach a devout person with accusation, they have good reason to be personally offended, feeling like you don't know their level of devotion. Your questions are about the differences, but with differences implying one of you is wrong.

If she doesn't like all the questions, then she doesn't want to fight that battle.

Persuading someone else that they have accepted an error, requires that you get so close to where they're standing --figuratively-- that you can understand how they came to those conclusions. A critic is seldom welcomed, but an edgy conversation can be invigorating.

No one is going to convert to a different set of beliefs because an acquaintance quickly pointed out how wrong they were.

Look at it from her viewpoint -- what reasons would she have to want to hear you tell her she's wrong? You have to start with a common thread.

Also look at what you wanted to accomplish.

 

[suzeequeue]

This topic always gets a chuckle out of me. Its like a high schooler rolling their eyes at how naive their 45 year old parent is who just doesn't get it.

The Catholic Church is the mature version of whatever church you go to. After two thousand years lots of history and rules make it what it has become. Spirituality is there, but its a well ordered kind. Jesus started the Catholic Church with the apostle Peter. Since then its had highs and lows and its still around.

My advice is simply this:

"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
--HERBERT SPENCER

see, this is what i don't understand. why do some folks always insist on saying that Jesus started the catholic church and that Peter was the first pope, when Peter died over 200 years before constantine created catholicism? yes, i know the verse 'they' point to in this regard, but if that verse refers to the catholic church and Peter, then you can toss out the rest of the Bible because history shows otherwise. just saying.

i think the truth is always best, and as Jesus said, the truth shall set ye free.

that is why it is best to just love your friend, support her emotionally and in prayer. love her and pray for her to come to know the truth. as far as visiting her church, as suggested by someone else, personally, i wouldn't, because i believe it would be sin.

 

[seashale76]

see, this is what i don't understand. why do some folks always insist on saying that Jesus started the catholic church and that Peter was the first pope, when Peter died over 200 years before constantine created catholicism? yes, i know the verse 'they' point to in this regard, but if that verse refers to the catholic church and Peter, then you can toss out the rest of the Bible because history shows otherwise. just saying.

Because history asserts otherwise.

 

[suzeequeue]

Because history asserts otherwise.

how so, friend? please expound...