finally moving out... :(

[notgivingup]

so if anyone has been following my previous post my husband and I are officially separating and this weekend I will officially be moving out of our apartment into my own separate apartment. have so many mixed emotions right now 1 minute I feel like I'm confident and strong and I feel like I can go through this continue being co workers with him running our business and then the next minute I feel like I just wanna run away to a foreign planet and be as far away from him as possible. for anyone else who has been through this how do you push past this and keep going without feeling like you just want to sit and stare at the wall all day? it hurts so bad knowing he seems to have no emotions about the end of our marriage at all because he wants such a different life now.

 

[Tigger45]

My heart goes out to you sister I've been there and know what it's like. You can't deny the grieving process of your heart. It takes time, loved ones and the Lord to get through this.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi notgivingup .... You will get thru it. I did a lot of walking when I moved out. For a year I would go walk 3 to 4 miles almost every day. So I think it might be better to do something as opposed to just sitting.
I'd also advice you not to put to much into how your husband is acting thru this.

 

[notgivingup]

Hi notgivingup .... You will get thru it. I did a lot of walking when I moved out. For a year I would go walk 3 to 4 miles almost every day. So I think it might be better to do something as opposed to just sitting.
I'd also advice you not to put to much into how your husband is acting thru this.

Why shouldn't I think too much about how he is acting....is it normal????

*I know my question sounds sarcastic, but I'm not meaning for it too, hard to type things the way you feel lol *

 

[dayhiker]

I guess I don't see how that helps anything. Ya, he will cross your mind. Maybe give him 5 minutes a day and then move on to think about your life and what you want it to be that day, next month and next year.

He had made it clear he wasn't a different life, so he is giving you a new life. A new life you didn't want and weren't looking for. But you have it ready or not! So what do you want your new life to be? What do you want to give you kids? What do you want to give yourself in this new life? Think about how to go get it is my advice.

 

[Annessa3]

you'll get thru like everything unpleasant & challenging; one step at a time, one more hour, one more day.

as for Dayhike saying not to invest much time trying to figure out your husbands thoughts and actions, I agree. That's a one way ticket to CrazyLand.

Because YOU and your husband do not think alike... people do not process things the same way. Everyone is individual. And you won't figure it out, he would have to tell you, and he probably won't even want to talk about it, because it's the past now.

DayH is giving good male-centric advice & perspective. And from my experience, he's right.

I still don't know the whys and wherefors of why my now ex-husband disengaged and gave up. He doesn't want to discuss it. Sez there's no point. And (other than my desire to Know) he's right. It won't change anything.

sending prayers-
A

 

[olds8598]

so if anyone has been following my previous post my husband and I are officially separating and this weekend I will officially be moving out of our apartment into my own separate apartment. have so many mixed emotions right now 1 minute I feel like I'm confident and strong and I feel like I can go through this continue being co workers with him running our business and then the next minute I feel like I just wanna run away to a foreign planet and be as far away from him as possible. for anyone else who has been through this how do you push past this and keep going without feeling like you just want to sit and stare at the wall all day? it hurts so bad knowing he seems to have no emotions about the end of our marriage at all because he wants such a different life now.

My heart goes out to you.

The one-minute-one-emotion-the-next-minute-a-different-emotion is pretty common. Divorce is such a shock to our system, especially our emotions. Trust me when I say I know about wanting to go that foreign planet. My ex also seemed to be void of emotions after she instigated the break-up.

You take it one day at a time. If necessary: one moment/minute at a time. We all have our own individual recovery time.

Distract yourself with people or things you like. Lean on the Lord--heavily. Pray (remember "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.").

Hugs:

 

[mjmcmillan]

I seem to remember, when my marriage went to the dogs (and cats, but that's another story) that the thought occurred to me to go down to the Proviso freight yards near here and catch the first West-bound freight I could, not getting off until Wyoming. Start over fresh, new name new everything. I didn't do that, but the thought did cross my mind. I imagine the thought of wanting to go somewhere else-- anywhere else-- and start anew after a blow like divorce is fairly common.

 

[Shane R]

My ordeal was 15 months from the time she moved out to her seriously asking for divorce. She only hung on that long because she is bad with money. At the end I was ambivalent. I'm sorry to say I went through one or two phases where I coped by alcohol induced sleep.

Blessings to you in these hard times.