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Sam91

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@Sam91 dragged the excessively heavy body into the corridor and waited for it to be discovered and sent to the morgue for an autopsy.

She then waited until the morgue staff retired before removing the dormant doc from the refrigerator and took him outside on a trolley. There the much stronger @GreenWizard packed him into a crate and wheeled him to some nearby caves....
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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'Don't just leave him there', whispered Sam91 crossly. 'The crabs are going to eat him if you leave him there unattended'.

'But isn't he dead already?' asked the GreenWizard. 'If something ate him, or even only part of him, that would certainly lighten the load for me'.

Sam91 rolled her eyes. If this was what the doctor was used to dealing with, it was little wonder he kept referring to her as some sort of comic-book heroine. She stopped herself, when she remembered the problems the doctor's Grandly-Inflated-Ego had caused him. Now all they had to do was wait for the boat, and keep the doctor safe from scavengers...
 
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Sam91

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@Sam91 however was sleepy so she opened the crate, requesting that @GreenWizard drag out the excessively heavy faux-corpse in order that she could sleep in the windproof crate. She instructed the green dude to give the doctor a good kick every half an hour to encourage him to wake up and to keep the circulation going to his extremities.
 
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Lost4words

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The corpse started to move as it was riddled with maggots. It made it's way to the door! These maggots were on a mission. There must have been thousands! What were they trying to do?
 
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Lost4words

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The door opened, slowly. A dark outline could be seen against the murky background.

A claw like hand grabbed the feet of the festering corpse and slowly dragged it through the doorway, leaving a trail of fidgeting maggots behind.

As the corpse disappeared through the door way sickening laughter could be heard which sounded like several people. The door closed gently. He was no more. He was now 'on the other side'.
 
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Sam91

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Thankfully the not faux-corpse was now out of the cave and the good doctor sphinx remained intact. He stirred, then awoke and was worried when he did not see @Sam91.

GW informed DS that Samantha was sleeping in the crate not caring to sleep on the muddy floor.

@Doctor.Sphinx defeated by the lingering odour of the putrid corpse, started lecturing @GreenWizard on the importance of personal hygiene; knowing, of course, that the smell could not possibly be the aroma of a superheroine, nor an ancient-but-expertly-and-excellently-restored sphinx.

[Wow -what a delightfully looooooong sentence]
 
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CtC

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[The screen fades to black, the text "Intermission One" scrolls up from the bottom]

[Then, "10:00" appears and starts to count down]

[A minute later, "9:00"]

[Then, "8:00"]

[And, "7:00"]

[Then, "6:00"]

[And, "5:00"]

[Then, "4:00"]

[And, "3:00"]

[And suddenly, "0:00"]

[The screen fades back to full brightness. A voice from off-screen calls out, "Action!"]

@Lost4words @gennypearl @LaSorcia stand frozen and stunned. "Wait! We still have three minutes left!", cries @Sam91 as @gennypearl and @LaSorcia dash off camera. "Hurry! Places everyone!", calls out @CtC The voice off camera says again, "Action!"

@Sam91 regaining superheroine composure, yawns, saying "Whew, that crate was strangely comfortable! Finally, a good night's sleep."

@Lost4words jumped slightly after realizing a couple maggots had made their way onto his shoes. "Good thing we had that Sphinxy look-alike corpse, just in case the soldiers came looking for his body!"

The sun rose just high enough in the sky to cast a beam of light into the cave. "Time to get a move on!" called @DavidFirth from the cave opening.

"Come, the ship is not far from here.", called @CtC in his up-beat-yet-not-overly-optimistic voice. Excitedly, @Doctor.Sphinx @GreenWizard and @Lost4words started for the cave opening, but @Sam91 hurried past.

@CtC could see, as she approached, a huge smile on her face. "Samantha, what a wonderful smile!", he says. "Why yes!" she says, "Isn't it wonderful when everything comes together just right?!"

@Doctor.Sphinx looking down the shoreline and seeing the ship says, "Well there it is! We should be there in no time!", his brain still a little fuzzy from the chemically induced coma he had just recovered from, "Well, errr, ummm...", he recalls a bit more of the past few days, then says, "Except that things never seem to go quite as planne...."

When a giant...
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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and possibly rabid squirrel ran up CtC's trouser leg.

'Eek! Eek!' squealed @CtC in his up-beat-yet-not-overly-optimistic voice, with just a touch of pessimism thrown in this time.

'What is it man? Pull yourself together!' exclaimed Doctor Sphinx, still recovering from his chemically induced headache, and annoyed that instead of being able to relay his thanks to his friends for saving his life - once again - he instead was having to deal with the common fears of the hoi polloi.

It was at this point he remembered that his ego had been done away with, and that he was no better than this commoner. He also remembered that two of his brave friends - one with a wonderful smile, the other with a not-so-wonderful smell - actually, this was being too kind - with a downright offensive malodour (still mistaking the stench of death he'd smelled earlier for a lack of personal hygeine on the @GreenWizard's behalf) - had risked their own lives to save his own. It was the least he could do to learn from their example, and help this newish crew-member in distress. The doctor also made a mental note to ensure he did not imitate the GreenWizard when it came cleanliness.

'What seems to be the problem?' the good doctor repeated in a way he hoped CtC might be able to understand.

'S-s-s-squirrel!' the other exclaimed. Sure enough, the giant marsupial had ascended the height of the man's body, and was perched upon his neck, scurrying between CtC's shoulders, as if it was trying to build a nest.

'Actually Doctor Sphinx', @Sam91's voice interrupted the Doctor's thoughts, 'squirrels are not marsupials. Marsupials carry their young in a pouch... Unless you meant to refer to a squirrel glider...'

Although he didn't dare say it, for fear of frightening the other into a hidey-hole from which she mightn't emerge for days, the doctor thought to himself 'She sure seems to know a lot, for saying she's not a superheroine'.

'Doctor, I can still read your thoughts!' exclaimed Sam91 sternly. 'You're not wearing your yarmulke of-protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers.'

'Oh. I mean, I'm grateful to God for the well-protected brain he's given me, but am also grateful to Him that He hasn't seen fit to protect yours as well, and instead has allowed it to occupy more space inside your optimally-sized head,' the Sphinx spoke aloud diplomatically.

While Sam91 was considering whether this statement was a breach of the agreement she'd previously made with the wily doctor, he quickly donned his yarmulke of-protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers before she could read any more of his thoughts.

'What about me?' asked the green leprechaun. 'You told Sam she had an optimally-sized head - I helped to save your life also.'

'Ah,' said the doctor, not wanting to be horrible, but being unable to remember anything about the little green man other than the terrible corpse smell. 'I think,' said the doctor slowly and deliberately to buy more time to think, 'that if I were sidekick to an amazing superheroine', but then added hastily so as to appear hypothetical, 'or superhero...'

'Yes?' asked the little green man.

'That I would give you my job, because you'd probably do it better than me,' the doctor finished kindly.

The leprechaun positively beamed at the doctor's rare compliment.

The doctor - in an action that might have seemed to the others like pride, but was actually a sincere belief in his own correctness - then quickly reached for the giant squirrel still nesting atop CtC, and proceeded to put the young creature into his carry-pouch, in order to demonstrate to Sam that the creature could indeed accurately be described as a marsupial.

Unfortunately, the animal was indeed rabid, and perceived the doctor's actions as an attack upon its honour. In a scenario not-so-unfamiliar now to either the doctor or the other CF crew members, the rodent sank its fangs into the doctor's hand as he placed it into the pouch.

Doctor Sphinx hoped that none of the others had seen the attack, or it might lead to yet more unwanted medical interventions, of which he - if not the entire crew - was tiring...
 
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Sam91

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Unfortunately, for the dear-old-good-Doctor @Sam91 had pierced micro-holes into his yarmulke and was still listening into his private thoughts.

'How could you Sphinxy?' She uttered, looking crushed and very saddened. 'Do you mean to say that you are tired of me saving your life already? The scorpion bites, the koala, the paranoia issue, attaching your toes. Next time would you prefer me to let you bleed out while you give a lengthy lecture on how you intend to operate on thyself?'
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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The good doctor realised at once that the tiny thoughts in his yarmulke of-protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers were obviously only letting @Sam91 read some of his thoughts, leading to her confusion. So he spoke plainly.

'Dear Sam91,' he began, 'leprechauns of noble deeds,' as he looked at @GreenWizard, 'and other folk yet to earn merit by accomplishing feats worthy of legend,' as he looked at the rest of the CF Crew. 'Sam91, do you really think that if I had not been a sidekick, you would not have saved me?'

Sam91 nodded. 'Thou wouldst have haddest thus to saven thine self', she replied, very King-James-equely.

'I think this skill - whatever you may call it - fraud, yarmulke-wearing, googling, or...', he hesitated, 'super-heroinism...'

Sam looked darkly at him, but said nothing.

'Is a gift, which is the manifestation of the goodness of the One who saved you, and whom you love and serve - the Eternal King.'

Sam91 looked a little less grumpy at the doctor, but still a little miffed.

'And if I say that I would give up my side-kickedness, it is only because you say I cannot describe your superheroinicness as such' he continued. 'How is one to be a sidekick, if there is no superheroine to be a sidekick to?' he asked rhetorically. 'Or superhero', he added, so as not to appear sexist.

'The various plagues, the moral guidance, the eradication of my unwanted ego...' he continued, 'I only wish I had more ailments to see more of your expert skill.'

'I only ask that you never allow me to operate on myself, as I fear this may be my undoing' the doctor concluded his speech.

Several of the CF crew had already fallen asleep on their feet...
 
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Sam91

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'But Sphinxy, I must confess that I only rescued you the last time in case you didn't survive.

However, long you have lived -I prefer the 3000 year theory- statistically speaking that you are not likely to die with in my lifetime. But going by recent events it seems that you are rather reckless. I assisted you only because I couldn't stand the impossibility of having you as my main attraction in my museum.

I do hope that you can forgive me. In mitigation I had every confidence that you could handle the North Korean crisis all by yourself.'
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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The good doctor wiped an imaginary tear from his left cheek at @Sam91's heartfelt confession. 'The truth, Sam91,' he said, 'and to you, dear GreenWizard,' he said to the leprechaun, 'and to the rest of you, is that I may somewhat have exaggerated my age.'

The CF crew let out a collective gasp.

'You mean you are not 6000 years old?', asked the @GreenWizard incredulously.

'You mean you are not 5000 years old?' texted @LaSorcia from Portugal.

'You mean you are not 3000 years old?' exploded Captain @DavidFirth.

'You mean you lied to us,' asked Sam91, taking the small-but-nevertheless-effective-guillotine-of-truthfulness from her handbag.

'Ahhh', explained Doctor Sphinx hurriedly. 'That is to say, Sphinx-years are measured differently to man-years.'

'Or woman-years', he added, looking at @joyshirley and trying not to sound misogynistic.

And then 'You certainly have quite a collection of guillotines, Sam91...'

Sam91 seemed about to say something, but Doctor Sphinx, fearing what it might be, quickly interrupted before she could speak. 'And I would be happy to feature in your museum of taxidermy', he added enthusiastically. 'I mean, if you'd wanted, I'd probably be the main attraction already'.
 
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Sam91

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Sam91 smirked satisfied. She wondered how long it would be before symptoms would appear if that squirrel did, infact, have rabies. She looked forward to googling that while nobody was looking.
 
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Lost4words

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The Squirrel was now foaming at the mouth profusely! It was a weird green colour and was starting to cover it's own face and dripping down onto its chest. It's eyes were starting to bulge out quite a bit!
 
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Lost4words

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But then the Doc grabbed the squirrel and decided to give it the kiss of life!

The squirrels eyes bulged more as the Doc blew air into its mouth. The poor thing was fighting to get out of the embrace with the Doc.

Suddenly, the squirrel got free, pointed to the super dupa extra foaming bubble gum packet, flicked his tail and ran away as fast as it could go, muttering "All he had to do was ask if he wanted a kiss!"...
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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'Yeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' exclaimed the doctor disgustedly, as he awoke from the most disturbing dream.

He saw the giant squirrel retreating in panic from the scene, and glared at @Lost4words, whom he suspected was somehow behind the shenanigans. He also cast a disapproving look in @Sam91's general direction, who was laughing, apparently encouraging the newcomer's antics.

'If those two team up against me, I shall be in considerable danger of losing face,' thought the doctor to himself. Then he remembered how nice it was to be free from that meddling ego, and decided he had no reason not to forgive Lost4words for whatever trespasses he had committed against him. Besides, Sam91 had saved his life on mutiple occassions - admittedly, with a little help from her friends. If it wasn't for her, her museum of taxidermy would be featuring multiple sphinx specimens, given the number of his misadventures. He couldn't stay grumpy with Sam91 for long.

The doctor forced himself to smile at whatever joke the other two were laughing at, but the forced smile, together with the soap suds, came across more as psychotic-looking than good-natured. When he finally noticed the foam dripping from his mouth, everything made sense - well, at least, he thought it did. The bite to his left hand from the rabid squirrel, the queer taste in his mouth, the alarming dream about romance with said pretty-eyed squirrel, the merriment from the others that he may soon be gracing Sam91's museum of taxidermy as a permanent resident - everything pointed to him having contracted a fatal disease from that wayward marsupial.

The doctor repented his withholding from the others what had really happened in that squirrel pouch.

'Excuse me, Sam91?' asked the doctor.

'Why yes, Doctor Sphinx?' responded the other politely, with a face that was trying not to laugh, but not succeeding very well.

'I was hoping you may have some non-intrusive cures for rabies...' began the doctor.

'What makes you think you may have rabies?' asked Sam91, still managing to keep a somewhat straight face.

'Well, that marsupial...' the doctor began, 'it bit me,' he finished simply, showing the taxidermist/surgeon/ninja etc. the puncture wounds on his left hand.

'I think you'll need the small-but-nevertheless-effective-guillotine-of-truthfulness,' suggested the newcomer to Sam91.

Doctor Sphinx glared at Lost4words. 'My hand wouldn't fit,' he declared indignantly.

'Well how about the guillotine-of-righteousness then?' asked Lost4words.

Doctor Sphinx stared darkly at Lost4words. 'How did you know about that?' he asked crossly.

'Just common sense,' replied Lost4words. 'Where I come from, the guillotine-of-righteousness is often the soundest cure for rabies. Besides, I looked in her bag. She has lots of other guillotines in there, too'.

'Well, I asked Sam91 for something less invasive. I consider all guillotines to be somewhat-a-little-more-invasive-than-desirable for most medical conditions,' replied the doctor indignantly.

'I think you are both forgetting who the doctor is in this situation,' scolded Sam91.

To the doctor she said 'And if I think the guillotine-of-righteousness is the most suitable tool in this situation for your medical condition, that is what you'll be getting. Now, what were your other symptoms?'

'Long-windedness?' suggested Lost4words. Doctor Sphinx ignored him.

'Dreams about encounters with pretty-eyed, giant squirrels' stated the doctor, honestly but embarrassedly.

'Oh,' said Sam91. 'This condition is more serious than I realised.' To the doctor's dismay, and Lost4words' delight, she pulled from her doctor's toolkit the...
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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scalpel from
Walpole, which may not sound so dismaying to the uninitiated, but is in actual fact a town in the south-western region of Western Australia.

As previously discovered by the CF crew, Australia is a land peopled entirely with criminals, so the fact that Sam91 was having to resort to the use of a scalpel most likely manufactured by the less-than-law-abiding from this region of the world meant that there was every possibility that the good and kindly Doctor Sphinx had contracted something that civilised man had not yet learned how to cure...
 
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