Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

No sooner had breakfast been eaten than the community sprang into action. Tom took charge, issuing orders. The horses had to be groomed and the older children leapt to help with that while their mothers looked out spare dresses for js and her pals.

"Never thought of that! I guess we would look odd in our 2018 clothes!" Lilac said as she spun round, allowing the long dress to float out.

"They're beautiful dresses!" js said. "Come on, sunshine, let's see what else needs doing."

"We'll take our backpacks with us," David said as they gathered outside for a moment, the men feeling slightly self-conscious in the clothes they were now wearing. But in fact, they looked very swish in their borrowed trousers, shirts and tunics. "Get your gear together and we'll have an early lunch. Could be a long afternoon, methinks..."

By around 11.30 am they were ready to go. Tom had had a struggle convincing his son to stay at the village. He was only twelve years old, after all. The boy's protests were constant all morning, but Tom's decision prevailed. Following a prayer led by CTC, Tom and his men moved out, followed by David and the crew. Glancing back, the crew waved to Tom's wife and everyone.

"Thanks and God bless!" they called out as they broke into a trot.

"Finally we're on the move!" Dirk said exultantly.

The valley lay spread out before them, jagged mountains beyond cutting great swathes across the sky. The forest was to their rear and Lost said a silent "See you later - maybe!" to the little ship waiting further on in the bay.

"Have I got my journal?" CTC suddenly thought in panic. Fumbling in his backpack, he felt the hard edges of his journal and sighed with relief.

We're heading for that rock over yonder," Tom called out after they had travelled a mile or so.
Upon reaching the rock, Tom dismounted and walked past the rock.

"Never used to be able to do that as this is where the invisible boundary was. We're good to go now. We're heading for a narrow gorge that will take us through to the other side of that mountain," he said.

"What year is it now, Tom? Now that we're back in time?" Lost asked.

This is 1014 in our time, Lost."

"In our time? What can that mean?" Lost gave up trying to figure it out and galloped after the others.

"You know, I feel like I was born in this saddle, though I've really only ridden a horse once!" js said as her horse broke into a gallop.

"Me too!" LaSorcia cried as they raced across the valley.

Suddenly the mountains were very close, glowering down at them with the sun slanting onto their snowy slopes.

"Follow me now," Tom said.

It was strictly single file in the gorge, with its sheer drops to a small river far below. The path they trod was shingly and every now and then, loose shingle skittered away down the almost perpendicular sides of the gorge, while equally sheer rocks rose to the left of the trail.

"Not liking this much at all," js thought. "Thank the Lord our horses are so sure-footed."

Finally, the troop broke free of the gorge and entered another valley.

"Is that more of the Great Forest over there?" David asked.

"Yes, and we're heading there now as that's where the secret stores are hidden. From there, it's only a mile or so to the palace."

"Must have been hard, knowing how close you were to your old life?"

"Not at the start of the enchantment, because I was completely self-absorbed, apart from my family and friends there. But when the Polynesian people arrived, my outlook began to change. They had stepped out in faith, entered uncharted waters, so to speak. My attitude began to change slowly, but it took me a long time to learn the lessons they came to share."

David nodded. The crew were doing that too, right now. Stepping out in faith.

Arriving at the forest, Tom and his men quickly dismounted, the others following suit. A short trek into a dense part of the forest brought them to an embankment against a small hill. Several ancient trees which had fallen long since lay across the side of the hill and ferns had grown in profusion over all. Tom reached into the side of the embankment with a key and the crew heard a click. A wooden door opened, hitherto completely hidden by the ferns.

At that moment, a great sound of thundering hooves was heard in the distance.

"Quick! Inside now!" Tom hissed, signalling to two of his men to go and scout out the area.

Hearts pounding, everyone led their horses beyond the door into a huge cavern which stretched right back under the little hill.

"The arms are here," Tom whispered, gesturing to crates lining the walls of the cavern.

"We're too late, Captain!" his men said on their return. "The enemy advances and even now is galloping past this forest, heading for Anvard. We will not reach the palace before them."

A long trumpet sound drifted on the breeze and echoed round the cavern.

"Anvard?" Lost said. "Is that the name of this country?"

"No, that's the name of our city. The palace stands half a mile before the city itself. Our country is called Archenland."

"Aha!" CTC muttered, grabbing his journal and scribbling the names down.

"Never heard of it, in all my years of travelling at sea," David said. "And this is a pretty big island, Tom," David added.

"Not actually an island at all, David. The enchanted valley is very near the eastern coast of Archenland. Anvard is to the west."

"Not the island I thought it was, then," CTC thought, scribbling that down too.

js looked expectantly at the crew to see if they had realised where they were.

"Not a glimmer among them. Am I the only one who realises we are in the Narnian Empire?" js thought.

"Do we have a Plan B?" Dirk asked, eyeing the beautiful swords waiting in the crates. "Take them from behind, maybe?"

"Your courage is commendable, but there are about two hundred fully armed horsemen out there," the sentry said. "We will wait."

"Wait? Oh..." Dirk said glumly. "What an anti-climax!" he thought to himself.

"No other choice right now. At some point, King Lune and his sons will emerge from the fortress surrounding the palace and face the enemy. We will help at that point. And not before!" Tom said sternly.

"Therein speaks the Captain. The mantle of authority is very evident now," js thought. "I feel safe with him."

The sentries reported that the enemy had surrounded the palace now, just visible in the distance, flags flying from its many turrets and painted red in defiance of the enemy by the now setting sun. It seemed there was a stalemate, as King Lune remained barricaded behind his fortress walls.

"Tell us more, Tom, since we will probably be here till morning," CTC urged.

Archenland, it seemed, was sandwiched between two countries, both greater in size and in power. The Archenlanders had managed to maintain peaceful relations and trade agreements with both countries in amicable fashion. But the country south of Archenland was a conquesting nation, and rumblings for many years had now turned into an attack. "The plan - to disempower us by capturing the palace and our King, then move to attack our northern neighbours, the Narnians."

There was a stunned silence for a moment, then a babble of voices broke out.

"Narnia? Narnia is real?" Spikey pinched himself hard. "Ouch!" as a red welt appeared on his arm.

"That looks real enough, Spikey. Want me to tap you with this cudgel, just to make sure?" LaSorcia said with a grin.

"Shhh - Rabadash may have men nearby, in case of help arriving via the Great Forest," Tom whispered. "Although it's not likely. That whole area is 'cursed', in their eyes."

"Rabadash is their leader, I presume?" David asked.

"Their ruler's son. A hothead if ever there was one. And determined to marry Queen Susan of Narnia. A more abominable idea I have yet to hear!" Tom said grimly.

Silence fell again as each person tried to recall everything they had ever known of Narnia. It was incredible to think they were actually in Narnia! That storm must have brought them here. Hang on, there was a lion, a great lion. He made things happen. It must have been him...

So their thoughts ran when sunshine suddenly said, "Aslan!"

"Yes. Our Lord and King above all High Kings in Narnia."

Tom smiled at js. He could see how excited she was. How much she wanted to meet Aslan. He wondered if she was seeing the lessons for her in Narnia. She had done well so far, risking another setback in her relationship with the others by withholding their whereabouts. Her guess that they were in Greater Narnia the other night had been spot on and Tom had had no choice but to concur. But he had felt it pointless to tell the others until he had heard the Lord's verdict on his own story.

The evening passed slowly, with first one, then another falling into a fitful sleep. Tom's men took turns to guard them all and finally Tom was roused as dawn was breaking.

"Captain Tomas!" the guard whispered urgently. "A contingent heading for the forest!"

Swiftly waking the others with his hand to his lips, the crew froze as an order rang out close at hand.

"That tree there!" someone shouted. Everyone instinctively shrank back into the shadows. It sounded as if the man was only feet away from their hiding place. The sound of blade on wood rang out. More voices, more blades chopping.

"They are going to make a battering ram," Tom whispered. "Rabadash is a fool! When his surprise attack was foiled by the King's foreknowledge of it, he should have turned tail and ridden for his life back to Calormen."

One of the horses snorted a little and everyone drew in their breath. No, it was all right. Those men had not heard. Now great dragging sounds could be heard in time with the clanking of chains.

"We should take those men from behind right now!" Dirk whispered excitedly. "Should be a cinch!"

"No, there will be men lining the forest to protect them. It would be certain death for you all," Tom said.

Dirk subsided again, his face betraying his impatience to be out there amongst it all.

"Sounds like we're safe now, Tom," David said. "Everyone, grab some food from your backpacks. Going to need it today."

The horses were led out to a tiny stream nearby and enjoyed their breakfast of sweet grass growing there.

"At last!" Dirk thought, as everyone took their reins shortly afterwards.

"Quietly now. No talking," Tom said as they moved on, armed now with swords and shields.

A short trek brought them to the far edge of the forest and now they could see Anvard clearly.
Rabadash, a posturing figure strutting up and down below the King's window, could be heard taunting King Lune.

"Curses on the head of the traitor who informed the miserable Lune of our plans! May he be boiled alive! May he be hung from the nearest tree for target practice!"

Rabadash's voice was high-pitched and sounded for all the world like a demented pig squealing for its life.

"The King assumes Rabadash will run home like a whipped cur! Never! King Lune will quake in his boots! His sons will rue the day they stood against the might of Rabadash of Calormen!!"

"What a ghastly little man!" js said decisively.

The battering ram was driven against the fortress gate again and again.

David halted beside Tom. "Look, the fortress gates are opening. Your King is riding out. His sons with him?" as Tom nodded.

Five minutes later, Tom gave the signal. Archenland's flag flew high from Tom's hand and his sword lay ready at his side. His shield was in place and he gave the order.

The crew's hearts pounded with fear, excitement, incredulity that this was really happening and faith that the Lord would watch over them. They urged their horses on, who were ready to gallop hard. The mile or so was fast disappearing and slivers of fear darted into their hearts as they beheld the ranks of Calormen soldiers.

"Swords!" Tom shouted as a few soldiers turned upon hearing the hooves pounding towards them.

"This is it!" Dirk thought as he held his sword with tightly clenched fingers. "Get the first thrust in! No hesitation!" he muttered.

Two hundred yards to go, drawing ever closer. Suddenly a loud trumpet call rang out. Looking to the left, the crew saw a huge contingent on the summit of a hill. A flag was flying. A cry rang out and the contingent started down the hill at speed. In the time it takes to say King Edmund and Queen Lucy, the crew had taken in the Royal Highnesses from Narnia leading their army. Big cats, giants, centaurs, fauns all rushing towards Anvard yelling "Narnia forever!"

Taken by surprise, the crew's targets turned to face the onslaught of the Narnians. King Lune seized that moment to ride hard with his men, straight into the side of the nearest ranks of the enemy. Tom rode hard without stopping and hit the ranks from the other side. David plunged straight in behind him, swinging his sword wildly and wounding at least two enemies. Dirk and Spikey veered to the right and rode straight at the backs of two more, who dithered a bit too long as to who to face.

"Shot, Dirk!" Spikey yelled as Dirk's opponent fell to the ground. "Watch out!" Dirk yelled back as another soldier swung at Spikey, just missing him.

Meanwhile, js and the girls had dropped back as ordered by Tom.

"We could have helped!" LaSorcia grumbled. "No fear! That's my motto!"

At that moment, four of the enemy broke away and hightailed it towards the forest.

"js!" Tom yelled, indicating the fleeing men.

"That's us, girls!" as they spun their horses round and charged after the men, who were fleeing on foot.

"Halt!" LaSorcia shouted as she rode up alongside the frightened men. They took no notice at all and kept running.

"In the name of Aslan, stop this instant!" js cried.

Immediately the men fell to the ground, cowering in fright.

"They believe Aslan is a demon. If only they knew - nothing could be further from the truth," as sunshine leapt down and together with Lilac, tied the men's hands behind their backs.

"I don't believe it!" Spikey said, glancing back. "The girls have captured four of the enemy!"

"Spikey! Look out!" Lost screamed, riding hard to his friend's aid. Too late. A soldier thrust his sword hard into Spikey's arm. Bleeding, he slipped off his horse and fell, unconscious, to the ground.

The shortest battle in Narnian history was already drawing to a close. The Narnians' aid had made it easy to destroy Radabash's ill-conceived plan. Surrounded on all sides, his men still standing had surrendered. Rabadash himself was currently fighting for his life against Prince Edmund, the clash of steel ringing out across the suddenly quiet battleground.

"Spikey's down!" js cried.

Leaping on their horses, the girls galloped back as fast as they could. Lilac whipped off the sash she wore and wrapped it round Spikey's bleeding arm.

"He doesn't look good at all," sunshine whispered. "If only we could call an ambulance!"

A shadow fell across the ground. Looking up, a young woman smiled at them, then knelt down. Removing the sash, she opened a vial and poured one drop onto Spikey's arm.

"Queen Lucy!" Tom rode up and leapt from his horse to bow low.

The crew gasped and gazed up at the beautiful young Queen.

"Bow!" Lost hissed at the others as David and CTC rode up, looking dishevelled, but in one piece. Rising hastily to their feet, they bowed low to Queen Lucy.

Spikey opened his eyes, looked at his arm, which was healed, looked up at Lucy and said, "If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up!"

The dream did continue for some time. A year or more, in fact. In Narnian time, of course. Lost had long given up on trying to align it with Earth's time and the others didn't really care.

After the battle, a great feast was held at Anvard and the crew were invited. Tom confessed all to King Lune as Aslan had given him permission to do so. All was forgiven and Tom continued in his captaincy. Aslan appeared at the feast and allowed Rabadash to return to Calormen with conditions which would usher in a long time of peace for the three countries. Aslan also spoke a few words with every member of the crew. The words he spoke remained private, but each one cherished the encouragement given to them.

King Edmund took the crew to his heart and invited them to Narnia for a long visit. David accepted, to the joy of everyone.

"Beats sitting on a deck getting sunburnt all day long!" sunshine said, which made everyone laugh, though David tried to splutter in protest, before giving up with a grin.

They explored Narnia from one end to the other and learned to speak a few words in the ancient Narnian language (the one Tom used when they first met him). They became pretty good at swordplay and archery, and visited Tom and his family often in Archenland. And Spikey never gave up hoping that the beautiful Lucy would look his way.

One day they were invited to hunt a stag with High King Peter and the others.

"Course, we have no intention of catching him. That would be sacrilege!" Peter said.

"He's far too fast for us, anyway," Susan laughed.

It was a lovely day and the crew ambled along in this pretence of a chase, enjoying the ride, their companions and the beautiful landscape.

"What's that set in the ground over there?" Peter said.

It looked like an old-fashioned street lamp.

"Oh no!" js thought. "This leads to the wardrobe and back to Earth. I never did want them to go back. Narnia is so beautiful."

Stop!" she cried out as Lucy led the charge through the bushes.

"js, no, you can't stop them. Perhaps it's time for us to return to the ship too," David cautioned.

js spun round to David, tears starting in her eyes.

"I have a better idea. Let's follow them!" Spikey said, dismounting and running after them.

"I'm in!" CTC said, grabbing his journal and quickly farewelling his horse, whom he loved dearly.

"What, are you all going?" Lilac's horse asked as she jumped off too.

"Looks like it!" js laughed as she blew a kiss to her horse. "Be good!"

Be safe!" he returned with a snort as David and crew disappeared through the wardrobe door.

One minute later, they charged through into a big, bare room where the Kings and Queens stood, looking slightly dazed to find they were children again. They started at the sudden appearance of the crew, then everyone jumped as a thunderous knock rang out through the old house.

Peeping out the window, Susan said, "There's a car with the German flag flying down there! They're banging on the door!"

"Quick! Back to Narnia!" Peter hissed, dashing back into the wardrobe. Everyone tumbled in after him, but it was no use. The door to Narnia had disappeared. Blank wood greeted them.

Stepping back into the room, they shuddered as they heard a man ordering the housekeeper to fetch their Professor uncle immediately.

"What year is this, Peter?" LaSorcia asked.

"1940. England is at war with Germany!" Peter replied.

"They're forcing Uncle and the housekeeper into the car," Susan said. It was obvious she was very frightened.

Everyone looked at David. It was clear the children were going to be his responsibility for now.

"What now, mon Capitaine?" Lost asked.

'I'm dazed and confused. 1st mate @joyshirley, what now?' asked the forlorn looking captain.

Everyone looked to Joy Shirley for inspiration except the absent friends: GW, Sam91 and the good-but-medically-ability-speaking-not-such-a-good Doctor S.

Green Wizard sat on the floor sullen, mourning the fate of his queen. As the rest of her magic faded the good-but-not-so-good Dr and Samantha had to wonder if the leprechaun was not under an enchantment after all.

He was more than a little petulent, refusing to hear their pleas by shoving his fingers in his ears.

Dr S sighed and whispered 'we could put him in your bag.'

Samantha thought the suggestion scandalous. 'With my tools?'

The good doctor thought of all the mishaps that could happen when retrieving GW out of it and carried on brain-storming. It seemed like the ancient-system-of-gears-and-pulleys needed a little oil because his next suggestion wasn't much better.

'A good old fashioned hog-tying?'

'Then you'd be adding insult to injury. Should we try an apology? A little compassion for his loss and some comforting food?' Sam 91 suggested.

'A novel idea, indeed.' The doctor said but he wasn't in the least convinced of the practicality of it. 'If your enemy is hungry-feed him', although should we really be eating with him after recent events? You apologise first...'

'Me?' Sam91 quizzed, incredulously.

'Yes, you do it so well!' He replied.

'But I'm not responsible for this mess! It was all you! You fought with him! You sold him to the Philistines without receiving recompense! Then you killed his 'queen', as for want of a better word.'

'Samantha, love keeps no record of wrongs. I do not think I can apologise to GW because, you see, I am not sorry. Well, letting the Philistines take him was a somewhat deplorable, but if I hadn't he might have died in battle.

The guilt I was feeling was for dragging you on a dangerous expedition when I ought to have brought some fighting men, but as the great bard put it All's well that ends well! I'm going to eat now and I refuse to eat with him, until he repents for allying himself with that woman.'

Sam91 did not know what to say or do. She wasn't sure herself what was the correct thing to do. She could see his position but didn't understand it. She'd need to consult an apologetic or two in future if they ever left Narnia or the ship.

Sam91 wished that the noble Captain @DavidFirth was here. He'd know what to do to sort those two stubborn fellows out. What would he do?

Doctor Sphinx, who, in the absence of his friend's use of the yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers, had rudely been reading her thoughts - once again - interrupted them. 'David Firth? Unless the solution involves salt or ribs, that old sea-dog wouldn't know whether to turn aft or starboard.'

'I think you mean port or starboard,' Sam91 corrected.

'Look, Sam91, aft, port, starboard, or whatever else you'd like to call it, the Captain wouldn't know his poop-deck from his stern, and probably a good thing, too. I still can't believe that in this day and age, he allows his crew to...' the Doctor's voice trailed off in disgust at the thought, '...and had the cheek to make me swab it clean,' his voice trailing off again as he remembered the dishonour of the whole sordid episode.

Sam91, confused as to which error to correct first, decided to let sleeping sea-dogs lie, and instead tried to convince the Doctor again to apologise to their little green friend. 'Doctor, I know the contempt you have for those, err... dirty... ummm... philistine... fellows... But how would you feel if I were to sell you to them?'

'Impossible,' exclaimed the Doctor at once. 'First, they could never afford me. Second, I'd never allow you if they could. And third, I suspect those philistines would attempt to steal you before you so much as opened your mouth. See, they view all women as objects. Even ones with well-proportioned heads.'

'Look,' elaborated the doctor, 'there is more to this little squabble than our friend the green gnome siding with the philistines'.

'He's a leprechaun,' Sam corrected, 'and he sided with the white witch, not the philistines, who, incidently, you sold him to without receiving recompense,' she reminded again.

'I think my slaying of the white witch,' continued the doctor, unheeding of his friend's correction, 'has disrupted the time-space continuum in Narnia...'

When Sam91 looked blank, Doctor Sphinx continued 'It means that Edmund cannot now betray his brother and sisters to the white witch...'

'Well, isn't that a good thing?' Sam91 asked.

'Which means there will be no situation by which Edmund is converted to the side of good...' continued the Doctor.

'And...?' enquired Sam91.

'Which means that when one good king, and two good queens, sit on thrones in Narnia, with one evil king, there will be civil war,' finished the Doctor.

'Ah. Now I see where you were leading,' nodded Sam, understandingly.

'Or, if civil war is somehow averted - postponed - for a time, until foolish queen Susan visits Tashbaan to decide whether to marry the tyrant prince Rabadash - for nothing more than his impressive sun-tan and exotic-looking turban - an evil Edmund would certainly not prevent such a union - were it to his profit, as it would be, for it to proceed.'

'I see,' said Sam91, understanding a little more the reason for the Doctor's ill humour of late.

'And that's where I may be able to help,' said a familiar voice, as a lady strode into the clearing where the friends had been taking counsel.

Sam91 noticed, to her annoyance, that the @GreenWizard's eyes had somehow been magnetised to the all-too-familiar newcomer. Although identical in many ways to @Sam91, the newcomer was somehow more feminine, more radiant, more complete - not easily confused with such biblical heroes as Samuel, Samson, or even fictional ones such as Frodo's friend in that epic tale. Sam91 also noticed that Doctor Sphinx's eyes, taken somewhat by surprise at the arrival of the newcomer, had likewise been magnetised in her general direction.

Regaining control of his tongue faster than he was able to his eyes, Doctor Sphinx exclaimed 'Oh, Samantha91! What a lovely surprise...'

'You!!! What are you doing here! I thought I'd finally seen the last of you!

And you Sphinxy, why are you falling for her charms? You know what a deceitful narcissist she is. Well if she is here, I'm going! You traitor'

Sam91 stomped off. She heard Samantha91 giggling away at her pitiful strop. Sam91 realised she'd forgotten her handbag with all the supplies. She walked back, head down, picked up her bag, put her fine-compared-to-the-treacherous-Sphinx's-nose in the air and flounced away for a second time.

She treked on into the forest, expecting to find snow but it was already spring and snowdrops, bluebells and crocusses were already in bloom. She sat under a tree and sobbed. Why did the good Doc always let her down so? Why was he polite to her enemy?

She looked up and saw her second favourite animal in the whole world (the first being otters) a beaver. He stopped, turned and said

'Why do you cry so forlornly?'

Samantha rubbed her eyes in disbelief. Had she turned crazy? Had the Sphinx finally driven her mad? She wiped her eyes and stared. The beaver doubted her intelligence and spoke more slowly and a little louder.

'Are.. you... alright?'

'Oh yes, I am ok. A little heartbroken but I'll be fine. Thank you.'

'We are having a celebration! Would you like to come?'

'No, thank you. I am lost. I'm looking for my way back home. Have you perchance seen a rack of coats?'

The kind Mr Beaver led Samantha back to the wardrobe and she went home.

Aboard the ship at last, she searched for the noble Captain @DavidFirth or the genteel and wise @LaSorcia to inform them where the crew members were.

Alas, she heard strange voices and drunken singing. It sounded like Klingons were on the Starboard bough.. but they weren't. She peered through the crack in the door and found Philistines singing, drinking, and eating copious quantities of the Captain's ribs.

'Battle stations, mates! Nobody eats the captain's ribs and lives to tell the tale!'

Is what the Captain would have said if he was here. No, it was up to Samantha to put an end to this. She went below deck to think of a plan.

(Sorry for the boring post)

Sam91 actually fell asleep because of the rocking of the water and the lack of rest in Narnia. When she woke, the ship was silent.

She stole room to room, choloforming the philistines and tying them up. She was at a loss how such a small person as herself could possibly move these massive lumps of dim-witted muscle. It was then that she remembered the yarmulke-of-unyielding-strength-for-the-weak-and-utterly-feeble-at-heart. She carried them one by one back into the forest but was at a loss how to disguise the rack of coats.

She considered building something, putting undergrowth in front but had no better idea than to reinforce the wardrobe and to lock it. She scowered the ship and could only find a lock on the door to the captain's quarters. Mercifully, he kept a spare key in the drawer on deck where he stored his log. After securing the ship, using tools she had 'borrowed' from CTC and extra wood commandeered from @Dirk1540 's headboard, she was starting to feel quite lonely. She read her bible, the words, although comforting, convicted her. She was unforgiving, contentious and rude. She hadn't tried to be kind to her enemy and injured her friend. She had to seek reconciliation.

Determined, she re-entered Narnia with more humility than she'd had in days. She ventured on alone until she reached the palace...

"Peter, where's the kitchen? We'll make some tea and check the house over. You lead the way," js suggested, as everyone turned and followed Peter.

Lost went straight to the front door and locked it, putting the key on a side table while CTC ducked in and out of all the downstairs rooms. "All clear!" he reported.

"Good. The English reckon tea is the salve for most things, don't they?" js smiled as the children sank automatically onto chairs. They still looked shell-shocked and no wonder. Five minutes ago they were Kings and Queens in a magical land.

The crew seemed to be handling the sudden transition from 1015 Narnia time to 1940 Earth time quite well, though. js pushed aside her own thought that perhaps they had been impetuous, rushing after the children. Another weak point of hers. She sighed inwardly. It seemed she still had lessons to work on. She put the kettle on and looked out the window. Nothing stirred. A peaceful afternoon in the pretty English countryside surrounding this isolated house.

LaSorcia and David rummaged in the pantry and found freshly baked bread, sliced meat and homemade jam. Bringing it through, they set it down and returned to bring in cake and fruit.

"Have something to eat," David encouraged everyone, as sunshine poured cups of tea for all.

"I want to go back!" Lucy suddenly cried, bursting into tears. Peter put his arm round her as she sobbed. It was almost enough to set a few of the crew off as well. Dirk nodded in agreement. He had loved being in Narnia, with its swordplay and horse riding. He was now the best rider of all the crew.

"Aslan must have allowed us to return for now, Lucy," Edmund said.

"For now?" Lucy was ready to grasp at any straw if it meant being able to go back to Narnia some day.

"Who knows? But I think it pretty likely," Peter said.

"But the White Witch is dead. I can't think of any other reason we would need to go back. We were called there to help Narnia. Everything's good there now. The Narnians even call it 'The Golden Age'," Susan said.

Peter scowled at Susan, thinking she always had to put a dampener on things. He didn't want to admit that what she said was simply the truth. One minute a King, next minute a schoolboy was hard to take.

"I remember you telling us that there were several attempts on the White Witch's life over the years," CTC said, flicking through the pages of his journal.

"Yes, so Aslan told us," Peter replied. "He recounted one occasion when someone attempted to end her life. It was when we ourselves were in Narnia. He said he had felt a strong tremor in the atmosphere."

"It happened when we were riding the ice on the river, on our way to meet Aslan," Susan interjected.

"Yes," Peter continued. "He knew someone had tried to kill the White Witch. He said they may even have thought they had succeeded, but she was immortal. He knew her minions would take her decrepit body to a secret room in her palace, where it would have taken only a matter of minutes for her full strength and youth to return. 'There is only one way to destroy her,' Aslan told us. Only Aslan could kill her, of course. But for a while, I thought it was going to have to be me. Talk about nerves!" Peter said with a rueful grin.

"I remember that particular attempt," Edmund said. "I was still being held prisoner at her palace. That horrid little dwarf was rushing about, screaming at the others to 'Hurry, hurry, hurry! Pick her up, you imbeciles! Move!' I could hear the commotion clearly. Mr Tumnus told me he suspected an attempt had been on her life. 'But any injury to her won't last more than a few minutes,' he told me sadly. Within the hour, she had forced me to get on her sleigh and away we went, tracking you all."

"Yes, and do you remember, when we finally climbed ashore from that icy river, flowers and leaves started appearing and Narnia began throwing off its mantle of ice. I still marvel that that was because of our arrival!" Lucy said.

"I know. It was wonderful!" Peter said. "The Queen must have been gnashing her teeth at that point!"

"She was!" Edmund said with feeling.

"Dear Mr Tumnus! He was so lovely! He helped me such a lot," Lucy said.

"And me," Edmund said. "His face when he realised I had betrayed you all - well -" his voice faltered for a moment. "And then that ghastly ride with her, chasing you all, and turning the animals to stone -" Edmund stopped speaking. If truth be told, he still had nightmares about it all on occasion. "I tell you, I was never so glad to see anyone as when Aslan and the others rescued me and I was able to rejoin you all." Edmund looked down.

"That's all in the past, Ed," Peter said. "We weren't perfect little angels, either! Well, except for Lucy..." laughing, whereupon Peter received a punch on the arm from his little sister.

Spikey sipped his tea, not really surprised that the Narnia dream had ended so suddenly. "If I feel regret, I'm certainly not going to show it," he thought. "At least I earned this medallion with distinction when we helped Tom sort out that idiot Rabadash and his soldiers." He fingered the medallion hanging round his neck. King Lune had presented the entire crew with a medallion each, made of gold with the crest of Anvard engraved on them.

David looked at everyone and saw the colour returning to Susan's cheeks, Peter still carrying the mantle of his kingship, Edmund laughing as he joked with Dirk about who really won the race the other day, Spikey making them laugh with his declaration that actually, he had won the race. Lucy smiling as she talked about Mr Tumnus while CTC scribbled in his journal. sunshine with her air of quiet dignity, Lilac's calm demeanour, LaSorcia lounging against the wall, also observing the scene, js deep in thought.

Lost was just buttering another slice of thick bread when his hand froze. They all heard it and stopped speaking. Was it just the wind scraping a branch across a window? Or? There it was again. Another scraping sound, then a click. Someone had entered the house. Unable to move, everyone stared at the kitchen door, willing it to remain closed.

LaSorcia put her finger to her lips and moved silently to the kitchen door. Yanking it open suddenly, they heard a startled gasp and a "Dear me! What have we here? I almost had a heart attack!"

Opening the door, an old gentleman with white whiskers, tiny glasses perched on his nose and a smile on his face stepped over the threshold.

"Ah, Peter! Just what I need. A hot cup of tea!" he said, reaching for a cup and the teapot.

Everyone gaped at him, lost for words.

Finally, Peter stuttered, "Uncle? Uncle, we saw you being forced into a car flying the German flag not an hour since!"

"What's that, my boy? Forcing? Where did you get that silly idea? And German flag? No, no no. That was the Belgian flag. Don't they teach you anything at school these days?" Tut-tutting, he sat down and took a sip of his tea. "Now, who are your friends?"

Edmund ignored his question. "But Uncle, Susan said..."

"Hang on, Ed - remember how Susan always got mixed up with flags when we quizzed each other on general knowledge?" Peter reminded him.

Everyone looked at Susan, who blushed bright red. "Well, they are very similar," she said.

"Not much!" Lucy said. "Horizontal vs vertical! I think?" with a self-deprecating grin.

"Yes, yes, that's right, Lucy. A good Belgian friend of mine came to collect me, wanted to share some news with me," the Professor informed them.

"Where's the Macready? I mean, Mrs Macready? We saw her get into the car too," Peter said.

"Gone to stay with her sister. We dropped her off at the station. Probably won't be back. Sister's not doing too well. The war, you know. It takes it out of one, even here in the countryside, far from the bombing."

The children tried hard not to let their relief show at this news, and failed. Spikey grinned at their attempt and even their uncle had a wee twinkle in his eye.

"Now, introduce me to your friends," the Professor said.

The not-so-good-unless-referring-to-his-medical-abilities Doctor Sphinx was abruptly brought out of his enchantment like a clumsily-administered polio vaccination brings one out of any illusions of innoculation safety, at the words of his friend.

'Traitor? I, the great Doctor Sphinx?' he thought to himself indignantly. 'Sam91 must be mad.'

However, his thoughts quickly changed from indignation to concern, on the return of his friend to pick up her handbag, and the upturning of her well-formed nose as she walked away the second time.

His eyes, which had momentarily been magnetised in the direction of the still giggling Samantha91, were now scowling, the spell broken.

'Oh bravo, Doctor Sphinx. You certainly know how to deal with that one', Samantha91 crooned, emphasising the word 'that' as she referred to Sam91.

The leprechaun stood there silently, his mouth somewhat open, staring at the newcomer. Doctor Sphinx silently rebuked himself for not already having taught the leprechaun to make small-talk with mermaids. 'Once one can hold a conversation with a mermaid without being distracted, one can hold a conversation with anyone,' he thought to himself.

'"That one" is actually a good and loyal friend,' snapped the Doctor at Samantha91, annoyed at himself for having upset his friend, annoyed at himself that he had work which prevented him from chasing after her straight away, and finally annoyed at himself for letting Samantha91 know that he was annoyed.

'Why Doctor, we both know that she's more precise and self-righteous than you will ever be,' Samantha91 intoned. 'You practically have to squeeze those yarmulke's over your disproportioned head to achieve half the Pharisaical-observitude she achieved before she was 3, and whilst she was still yarmulke-less.' Samantha91 smiled at the Doctor in a way she intended to be perceived as friendly and disarming.

Although he knew her words were poison, the Doctor couldn't think of a yarmulke to counteract them, and the ancient system-of-gears-and-pulleys in his brain had become unbalanced with the sudden absence of his friend. Unable to think of a way to reject the toxic words dripping from the lips of Samantha91, he instead tried to smother the seed of envy these words had conceived in his heart.

'I... err... have a proposition for you, Samantha91.'

'Why Doctor, I thought you'd never ask,' the other replied, in her sing-song voice, 'But it is traditional for the man to drop to one knee when making such.'

'Errr... quite,' answered the Doctor awkwardly, maintaining his stance, and wondering briefly if this one also had gone mad.

'Look, it seems that Narnia is being invaded by Philistines, and, although ugly, disgusting and brutal all rolled into one, I'm sure that a lady with your wit, skills and sophistication could transform them into something nicer, cleaner and more civilised.'

'You want me to take over the duties of the Ice Queen, don't you Doctor?' the other beamed.

'Well, it won't have to be forever,' explained the Doctor honestly. 'But at least until 2 sons of Adam and 2 daughters of Eve sit on thrones in Cair Paravel. Do you think you can hold out for that long?'

'And as a reward for helping you, I get to be queen over... how do you call these... filly-steins?'

'Ah, yes, yes,' answered the Doctor, not sure whether to appear reserved or enthusiastic about the request.

'Pray tell me, Doctor, what is a filly-stein. I have some picture in my head of a type of beer for young, female horses.'

'Don't you ever read your bible?' asked the Doctor, surprised at the apparent illiteracy of what appeared to be Sam91's more feminine clone.

'Ha!' laughed the other. 'Books! Bibles! That sounds very boring. Why read about life, when one can be living it? Don't you agree?'

'Ha, ha, yes,' laughed the Doctor artificially. 'Well, these Philistines are very handsome, clean, and great respecters of women. In fact - they were even the first ones to discover Feminism. All they need is a nice queen to... uhhh... give them pointers on how best to tend to their ever-growing toe-nails, and uhhh... remind them which cutlery goes with which hand, and for which meals etc. I'm sure you will love them.'

'But didn't you before describe them as ugly, disgusting and brutal?' asked Samantha91 suspiciously.

'Ha, ha, yes, I confess that I did,' admitted the Doctor. 'But I can see you are a woman of the world. I uhhh... had really wanted to reserve the role of Ice Queen for Sam91, but seeing you are so much more an Ice Queen than she ever could hope to be, I guess there's no point me trying to trick you out of it... If you still want it?' he added temptingly.

'I want it!' exclaimed the other, her jealousy of Sam91 and desire for adoration overcoming her previous pretence of reservation.

The Doctor, not wanting to waste any more time with pleasantries, quickly and unceremoniously placed the crown of the Ice Queen - which he had previously taken from the slain Jadis - atop Samantha91's head, before excusing himself and heading off in the same direction that @Sam91 had departed. In his haste, he had completely forgotten about the @GreenWizard, who was still standing, staring, at the newly crowned Ice Queen of Narnia...

Sam91 entered the palace to find Samantha 91 sat atop a rather grand throne.

'Samantha, I'd like to apologise for the ill will I bore you and the harsh words I used.' Sam91 uttered faithful to her determination.

'Ha more of your holier-than-thou attitude.' She rose her sceptre and pointed it at Sam91. 'Kneel before me and bow to me. Serve me, your queen. Be my loyal servant.'

'I will not bow in worship to you, a human..' Sam91 started before the ice-queen blasted her sceptre. The ice queen missed and hit the poor green wizard who had just cartwheeled into the room. He made for a comical statue indeed.

The two Samantha's stared with two very different emotions. The first, sam91, was heartbroken, while the other was rather impressed with her new found skill.

Sam91 had choice but to run as fast as her little legs could carry her. Samantha 91 stepped forward to examine her workmanship.

Off Samantha ran through the courtyard and down into the valley. She didn't stop until she was under the cover of the trees.

Samantha smelled burning wood. She sneaked as quietly as possible, wincing with every broken twig. As she got closer she found a mound of Philistines, about six in all. Although, one could not be sure with arms and legs poking out in all directions. She peered round the stack to see one rather gloomy looking Sphinx sat staring into a fire, waiting for some water to boil.

She ducked and said in a gruff voice 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with S'

The Sphinx smirked. He knew that voice, no matter how badly his friend tried to disguise it... 'Sam91!'

'No, it was Sphinxy' she said as she got up to give him a conciliatory hug and handshake.

'Oh Sphinxy, I must beg your pardon once again. I acted rashly. Sorry for abandoning you! Poor GW, I can't bear to relate his fate just now.

What happened here?'

'My dear-friend-of-not-so-auld, the tale begins one sordid moment when...'

Unbeknown to Sam91 the ice queen had not yet perfected her skill and the effects on poor GW were only temporary. Footsteps bounded right into their clearing and GW panted and exclaimed

'That beautiful queen is a loathesome witch and a half! You should have seen the glee with which she looked at me Sam.

Do you have any ribs? I'm famished!'

The good doc and Samantha looked at each other and burst out laughing. The doctor because GW reminded him of Cap'n @DavidFirth who's love for ribs was a cure-all remedy. Sam91 because she was so relieved that he was no longer preserved for millenia in a rather jesterlike state. The dubious duo was now a troublesome trio indeed, a jovial one at that.

Sam 91 put some of the Captain's ribs -not his very own ribs, the ones he had to eat- on the fire and pleaded..

'Now to here about your epic adventure... ps I dealt with at least 12 philistines on mine' winking with an air of mystery.

'Samantha, sister. It is written He that winketh with the eye causeth sorrow... I ignored it the last time but it is a rather unladylike and unbiblical habit to develop. You have winked twice in recent days.'

He reprimanded gently. Although, it was in part to decide whether to recant his adventure, ask about hers or forget the whole thing entirely; not wanting to be outshone in battle yet again by a lady, even if she probably used a yarmulke or two in the process... Undecided, he added while remembering the words of Samantha 91.

"12 A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth.

13He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers;

14Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord."

After introductions were over, Peter hesitated to tell his uncle of their Narnia adventures, but Lucy spoke up and said,"Oh, Peter, get on with it, do! I'm sure Uncle won't think we're telling lies!"

Listening without interrupting can be difficult but the Professor managed it very well, just giving an occasional 'Hmm-hmm' or 'Wonderful!' or slapping the table with a 'Ha'! The sun moved down the sky, casting deep shadows and still the story unfolded, the children waxing lyrical when describing Narnia and Aslan. Finally they ran out of things to tell their uncle and he sighed. A huge, drawn-out sigh and said, "I wish I could have been there with you all. It was fantastic when I was there, but to have had another opportunity to go there would have been a dream come true!"

Everyone goggled at him. Then a babble of questions spilled from their lips.

"All in good time," he said with a grin. Turning to David, he asked him how the crew fit into this remarkable tale. David, ever concise, covered their part in the story in about ten minutes.

"Hmm, I see. Interesting, your method of entry into Narnia. Yes, I would definitely say that you were brought to Narnia by Aslan to help Captain Tomas. But have you thought about how you will return to your ship? You say the wardrobe door upstairs which led into Narnia has disappeared now?"

"Could be stuck in this time zone forever, then?" Lost said, looking bemused. "Hadn't got that far in my thinking."

"I had," CTC said. "But it seems to me that if we were permitted to come to 1940's England with the Kings and Queens, there must be a reason and perhaps we will be permitted to return to Narnia later on."

"Oh! I'm coming with you, then!" Lucy squealed in joy.

"No, Lucy, not if Aslan doesn't send for you."

"I know," the little girl replied. Just...yes, I know, Uncle."

"So, Uncle," Peter laughed. "Spill the beans! You and Narnia!"

js and a couple of others went about preparing some dinner quietly as the Prof related his story to his enthralled audience. It was spell-binding and the children now saw him in an entirely different light. They knew he had travelled a fair bit and was a writer as well as a scholar, but to hear that he had been there when Aslan sang Narnia into being was an experience that elevated him to the heights in their eyes.

"And now we come to my friend's visit today. As you know, Germany has claimed Belgium and France and their sights are now set on Britain."

It was very strange to the crew to listen to this, knowing, as they did, the eventual outcome of the war. David cautioned them with a slight shake of the head, not to divulge anything to the Prof and the children.

"London is in a terrible state with all the bombing. My friend is working there, helping to set up the Belgian government in exile headquarters in Eaton Square. He popped down to see me today and advised me not to go to London at any cost right now."

The children's faces fell. They had secretly hoped to be able to go home to their mother soon.

"However," the Professor continued, "I need to retrieve something in London."

"Well, I know they're dropping bombs during the day as well, Uncle, but you should be safe enough if you don't hang about," Susan said.

Looking seriously at the children, he said, "I don't want to alarm you, but it appears some people may actually think it worthwhile to have me watched. I've travelled a lot, you know, talked with a lot of people over the years, worked with many different scholars, written books, been outspoken on occasion. My friend told me that certain people here think I may - ahem - be a trouble to them. Stuff and nonsense, of course. But I do have some friends who happen to be German. I suppose it's to be expected. Paranoia is growling at the door in Britain right now."

"What? Under surveillance? Here at your house?" Susan asked incredulously.

"No, they don't have the resources for that and anyway, far too suspicious in a tiny hamlet like this. No, they have people watching the railway stations, the ones nearer to London. Detailed to watch out for me and others. If I go to London, it's more than likely I will be followed. A storm in a teacup, my dear. They will calm down, realise that I and others are no problem at all."

"How does your friend know all this?" Peter asked.

The Prof tapped his nose. "Can't say, dear boy, but I trust his word implicitly. Known him since I was a boy. Now, on to why I think you might have been sent here, David. The rings I mentioned just now; as far as I know, they are still where I buried them all those years ago. However, my friend told me that whole neighbourhood has been hit hard by bombs and is in a shocking mess. I need to retrieve those rings. For all I know, they may be lying on top of a heap of rubble in full view. What a terrifying thought. If they fell into the wrong hands, if once someone figures out what they can do, well - our world could be in the gravest danger. I need to have them under lock and key here."

The rings of which the Professor spoke were magical. With them, he and his pal, Polly, had gained entry to a sort of timeless 'station' from whence they had travelled to Narnia via a certain pool.

"But there are hundreds of other pools there too. No one knows what worlds they hold. What weapons they contain, what evil exists in them."

Some of the crew rose and wandered out into the huge hallway with its suit of armour and old pictures on the walls. This needed thinking about.

The Prof watched them leave the room and looked at David. "Think about it. I don't want to influence you, but it would be a way to return to Narnia, you know, and from there, to your ship. However, Aslan moves in mysterious ways and you may not need the rings at all."

Ever practical, CTC said, 'So if we find the rings and bring them here, then what, for us?"

"On to Narnia with one of the rings. As long as you all hold hands, it will work. I would ask you to destroy the ring when you arrive back in Narnia."

"If we ever do," Lilac said, feeling slightly anxious.

Peter and Edmund were having a whispered conversation and now Edmund piped up, saying, "Uncle, we could go. No one would think twice about two kids messing around on a pile of rubble. But eight adults? Bound to be questions and officious policemen whose pride and joy is detaining people for hours, asking nonsensical questions and never listening to the answers."

"No, no, I can't have that," the Prof said, though he did look thoughtful. "I couldn't allow you lads to go to London on your own. What would your dear mother say? Hmm?"

"No pressure then, Captain," Dirk whispered with a grin.

Meanwhile, back at the skillfully slain mound of philistines where the troublesome trio were drinking celebratory cups of tea and eating scones with jam and cream (which Sam91 had somehow managed to keep fresh in her handbag of ever-expanding usefulness), the Doctor's curiousity of Sam91's victories finally overcame his male pride, and he asked 'Didst thou really smite 12 philistines on thine own, Sam91?'

She nodded, her eyes gleaming excitedly.

'Are you sure you didn't count them twice?' asked Doctor Sphinx anxiously. 'Or perhaps you even counted them more times. You know philistines generally have two hands and two feet, so if you counted all their hands and feet, you would have to divide by four to calculate the actual number of philistines defeated?'

Sam91 rolled her eyes. 'And how many heads do philistines generally have, Doctor?' she asked.

'Oh,' replied the Doctor, somewhat disappointedly. 'I guess the odds of you defeating 12 philistines are greater than the odds of you defeating 6 two-headed philistines...'

'So a single two-headed philistine is generally more lethal than two single-headed philistines?' reasoned the Green Leprechaun.

'I'm not sure,' replied the doctor distractedly. 'I've only ever slain single-headed philistines in my career.'

'Was your mound larger than mine?' he asked Sam91, somewhat enviously.

'Oh, I didn't need a mound,' replied Sam91.

'You didn't need a mound?' the Doctor asked, aghast. 'Don't you know how bad philistines are for the local ecosystem? One philistine has sufficient toxins within it's body to poison every living thing within a 500 meter radius. That's why when slain, they're best piled up in mounds, so as to reduce the environmental philistinian footprint.'

'Oh, but I went one better,' exclaimed Sam91 proudly. 'My philistines were still alive, so had no environmental philistinian footprint at all.'

'Still alive!' exclaimed the Doctor indignantly, although also somewhat relieved at the potential implications this new fact may have on the satisfaction of his male pride. 'Philistines don't count as smitten if they're still alive!'

'Well, I did smite them using chloroform, and didst tie them up,' explained Sam91. 'So I still count that as conquered.'

'Well, I'm still very proud of you, Sam91,' praised the Doctor. 'To conquer 12 philistines all by yourself is something most ex-taxidermists would not even dream of, let alone accomplish.'

'And I likewise am impressed with your smaller, but more permanently incapacitated mound of philistines, Doctor,' added Sam91 generously. 'Although I must confess that I do find the malodor somewhat more than a trifle obnoxious.'

'I do apologise for the smell,' stated the doctor repentently. 'I really did just need to make myself a cup of tea after encountering these dastardly philistines that the white witch sent after me, and I wanted to leave them in a place so as to be sure to ruin her rose garden.'

After the doctor had handed out nose pegs, the three friends enjoyed a pot of tea together, and the Green Wizard apologised profusely to the other two for being such a jerk, for siding with the philistines, and for being so easily deceived by Samantha91's beauty irrespective of her cruel, black soul. He explained that he had first feigned loyalty to the philistines so they would spare his life, but when he finally became desensitised to the stench of the lumps of dim-witted muscle, actually started to enjoy playing the part of a bad guy.

Doctor Sphinx apologised to Sam91 for not having shown her how to use the sword as he indicated he would, resulting in her 12 defeated philistines not really counting in competitive terms. And Sam91, not really having done anything wrong - as usual - donned the melodious-maestro's yarmulke for harmonious-highland-bagpipes, and played some lovely music as the trio headed further into Narnia....

Sam 91 began to miss her friends now that GW was found and was feeling that Narnia was a dangerous plave for her now that Samantha 91 was the new ruler. She foresaw that it wouldn't be long before there were Wanted posters with her face on them.

'Sphinxy, GW, I want to go home. I know there is nothing to do on the ship, that we were so bored and that you would rather smite Philistines but I'd rather be there than have my severed head on a pike and paraded around town.' :'(

The Sphinx looked at Sam91 disappointedly and considered her request...

'Maybe we could send @Sam91 a yarmulke-of-returning-to-the-ship?' said the captain.

Although the troublesome trio, far away in Narnia, did not hear the Captain's words, it was probably a good thing, as everyone - even leprechauns - knows there are no such things as yarmulkes of returning-to-the-ship, and the poor Captain would probably have been laughed at harder than the time he donated a portion of one of his ship's decks for use as a toilet.

Fortunately, however, the good Doctor had anticipated his friend's desire to return, and appropriated along the way some special yellow and green rings, which he now carefully withdrew from his pocket, being careful not to touch, except with a clean handkerchief. He explained to the others that he'd originally found 4 of each colour, but that someone - he suspected Samantha91 - had robbed him along the way.

'Just to make sure they still work, I'd like you to go first,' the Doctor explained to the Green Wizard. 'That's right, just pick up a yellow one.'

The little green leprechaun reached out his hand to obtain a ring, and immediately disappeared. Sam91 clasped her hand to her mouth and gasped as she stepped backward, a look of terror on her face.

'You killed him! Doctor, I thought we were friends - I so enjoyed our cups of tea, and tales of victory against the Philistines, and now you... you...'

The Doctor thought she looked about to cry, and didn't really know what to say. The thought came to him that it would be far quicker and safer just to manhandle the girl into her own handbag, and take it along, Sam91 and all, rather than sit here in the woods debating the matter, and risking one of them accidentally touching a yellow ring, leaving the other ringless and stranded in Narnia. However, the Doctor also knew she'd seemed somewhat offended at similar treatment earlier, and he didn't want to risk presenting Sam91 with further justification for performing procedures or surgery on him, with or without implied consent.

'Look Sam91. The Green Leprechaun's not dead. He's just... gone to a better place...'

At this, Sam91 gasped again, and the Doctor was sure he could see a tear or two glistening in her eyes.

'No, really, when I mean a better place, I mean a peaceful place - sort of like a paradise...'

The Doctor could tell by Sam91's body language - and also her thoughts, as she hadn't yet remembered to don her yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers - that this conversation was not having the effect he desired.

'Look Sam91, I will leave a yellow ring here, on the ground, for you, and I will use the other yellow ring myself, first, to show you it's safe. Only, I won't be here after I use my ring, so I really need you to touch your yellow ring when I disappear. Do you think you can do that?'

Sam91 nodded, but the Doctor wasn't sure she was convinced. He sighed inwardly. Things seemed so much easier when he didn't try to explain himself to others, but then they would accuse him of manhandling, and being uncaring, and even - he shuddered to recollect - philistinian. But then when he explained, they didn't trust.

Without another thought, he put on his yellow ring, and disappeared.

Sam91 was left all alone in the forest, the yellow ring the doctor had left behind for her an arms length away, on the grass. She considered her options. Although the Doctor seemed to be wrong about most everything, and just as rough and obnoxious as those philistines on occasion, and uncaring, she couldn't remember an occasion where he had actually tried to hurt her... Or at least, where he had actually tried to hurt her, believing it to be to her detriment.

Some bright flashes, shouting and a bad smell all coming from the trees beyond helped Sam91 make up her mind more quickly. It appeared that Samantha91 had probably chanced upon the mound of her slain minions, and brought with her a reinforcement contingent of philistines, to execute quick judgement upon her enemies.

Sam91 briefly considered whether the wicked Ice Queen would endeavour to mount her well-proportioned head upon a pike, or turn her into a statute. 'Probably 'twould be all the same for her,' thought Sam91, 'and would depend whether she, or those philistines get to me first,' she reasoned.

Had the Doctor already taught her the art of swordsmanship - or swordswomanship, for her unique case - she might well have considered staying, to beat the Doctor's score of six. However, in absence of such training, and the thought of her well-proportioned head becoming separated from the body it had become so attached to over the years, she slipped on the yellow ring instead.

In the interest of succinctness, I won't describe the Wood between the Worlds where the Troublesome Trio met up, or the unique signage Doctor Sphinx had previously established, to highlight the pool leading back to England, or the details of the argument which occurred between the medically-good-but-otherwise-not-so-much Doctor and Sam91, when he explained he wanted her to jump into said pool and that she wouldn't be wet, and that no, he and the Green Leprechaun wouldn't walk half a kilometer away while she did so...

But suffice it to say, eventually, the three friends were back in England, and the Doctor was patting Captain DavidFirth on the back rather roughly but fondly, and speaking of "sea-dogs" and mentioning what appeared to be a rather crude sailors' term for a toilet, and Sam91 was excitedly relating her story to LaSorcia and JoyShirley about her victory over the Philistines and how she had proved once again to Doctor Sphinx that more often than not, the best man for the job is a woman, and the little Green Leprechaun was doing cartwheels and seeming to make successful small-talk with a pretty Filipina girl who wasn't saying very much at all...