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Doctor.Sphinx

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'Is mutiny a sin?', Doctor Sphinx asked @Sam91, as they worked together on the anchor and the ship's tackle.

Sam91 remained quiet. 'She's probably thinking', Doctor Sphinx thought to himself.

'Did you know that I didn't know that a ship even had tackle? In fact, I thought a tackle was used for fishing, or in football?'

Sam91 still remained quiet.

'Hmmmm.' thought the good doctor. 'Perhaps the Captain's little trick is working on poor, honest Sam91. Well, it won't work on me.'

The doctor shouted something uncomplimentary about the Captain's weight, and his appreciation for well-cooked ribs.

@DavidFirth looked indignant for a moment, but then...
 
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Sam91

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Sam91 whispered 'The captain is right, we do talk too much and we should submit to authority. He will suffer in a few hours on the toilet so will have his upcomeance very soon! Last time he'll ask me for food anyway' winking at the good doc.
 
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DavidFirth

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'Ya say ya gotta puffer in the terlet?' asked the captain, mishearing Sam.

'No, I said we are going to buffer the spoiler in the engine room, Captain.'

'Good thinking, Sam, we'll make a sailor out of you yet!' said the hapless captain.

@Doctor.Sphinx was careful to keep his eye rolls to himself as the ship approached land at last.

@christine40 was ready to finally get off the ship as she was tiring of the pitching and yawing on the high seas.
 
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mama2one

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and was so excited to finally explore Australia she started singing "waltzing Matilda"
failing to see the eye rolls of the CF crew

why does Christine always sing in that awful voice of hers whispered @DavidFirth to @Sam91

maybe @Doctor.Sphinx can tell her it's giving us all a headache

where is the good doctor?

DavidFirth spotted him frantically waving his arms to another CF member.....
 
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Sam91

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To warn them of the peril of the dreaded koala. He once took one as a pet, during the middle ages. He forgot the third rule and fed it after midnight. Next thing he knew there were 8 of them. Attacking him, scratching him to pieces, one pesky creature urinated over his shoulder. Sure, they might be cute and fluffy but it took months before he could sleep without waking in fear.

'Oh, why did we come back to this frightful place. I'd deployed all sorts of trickery to fool the sensors to go anywhere but here. Maybe I should have asked the delightful but sinister sam91 for help but I was too proud. She'd know what to do. Like a cat that one, always lands on her feet and untameable.

If only I could just stay onboard but these mediocre fellows need my assistance. Not one can match me in guile and genius. These are all babies and I'm the mother keeping watch. A mother cradling her young!'

Sam91 could stand it no longer and delivered an obviously well-rehearsed speech...

'Doctor Sphinx, it is with a profound regret and deep sympathy that I must inform you that you are sick and are no longer yourself. You are suffering delusions, paranoia and unmerited grandiosity. Listen to yourself rambling aloud.

Yes, you were not even aware that your mouth was moving. I can not read minds, but you seem to think that I have been speaking in your head. You have two options, rest and hydration or brain surgery. It is a simple, while innovative, adjustment; repolarisation, not even a labotomy.

There are risks with any procedure, of course. You risk personality changes, paralysis, seizures and death. However, I hope of better things for you. I intend to drill two 3mm holes, through the cranium and restore functionality by inserting small, 2mm electrodes to restore proper electrical activity.

The first will be situated in the anterior section of your frontal lobe to restore control of your speech. The second will be positioned in the medial temporal lobe allowing the residual power from that tazer blast to discharge. I do not believe your problem started with that incident, the shock only exacerbated it. A gradual but marked deterioration has been evident the last six weeks leading me to conclude there is also a cardiovascular causation factor.

Therefore, following this minor procedure, I hope that we can also stimulate bloodflow to your brain. I will prescribe some blood thinning, plaque busting herbs. I do not think you can continue without immediate treatment. With treatment I must admit that, erm disregarding any operational mishaps of course, the prognosis is very good.' Nodding confidently at her final statement.

@christine40 looked on, with tears in her eyes. 'She has a point Dr S. It is your choice what to do, no one can make this decision for you.'

He nodded... and @Sam91 had no scruples in taking this to be informed consent and lost no time in using the chloroform (hidden in her pocket along with sanitised equipment). She drilled with due care, and wikipedial educated guesswork, into the sphinx's skull!

His last thoughts were a realisation that she had purposefully and adeptly driven him crazy so that his brain could be the leading attraction in her museum... followed closely by his aged but artistically restored corpse. Such finesse only to be attained by a mal-a-droit!

(Sorry @Doctor.Sphinx it has to be done!)
 
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mama2one

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unable to take it anymore, Christine urged @joyshirley and @CtC to escape the ship with her to find a koala bear or at least a kookaburra

the Australian songs learned in childhood would not leave her mind unless she could do some exploring and quickly

first they left a note in the kitchen where @DavidFirth would surely see it so the CF crew wouldn't leave the area without them

careful as not to disturb GreenWizard and his twin friends, they tiptoed around the sleeping trio who were blissfully unaware of the trauma between @Sam91 and @Doctor.Sphinx

@Sam91 mistakingly thought Christine's tears were for the good doctor but were instead fear of never setting foot on land again and excitedly exploring
(no one in their right mind would ever believe all that the CFers had experienced ever since they left the comfort of the forum to go on this misadventure around the world)

smelling lilacs, they turned to see @Lilac
"peace be with you," she said as she handed them each a bag filled with fruit, cheese, and rib sandwiches

hugging Lilac, with a finger to their lips signaling silence, they slipped off the boat and hurried out of sight.......
 
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Sam91

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Sam91 yelled 'Heretic' at older man. The good doctor raised his staser dutifully but had misgivings.

Looking at the pacemaker scar he said 'this is your last chance Repent!' He couldn't go through with this, it would be murder...


Ribs were cooking nearby. He opened his eyes. The world was coming into focus. A stinging pain happened in his foot. His leg recoiled instinctively.

'He has feeling in his feet at least!' Said an all too familiar voice. What had she done now? It all started flooding back..

'Good Morning Dr S, do you know who I am?'

'Um a crazed individual, parading around by the name of Samantha. Don't you ever go messing around with my head again. I am not living with the threat if I say something that you don't approve of, that you will perform some outlandish surgery. I have a good mind to phone the police.'

Sam 91 smiled. 'It seems that the operation has been a success. You're correct @Doctor.Sphinx. Yo do have a good mind, a great one. I inserted a fibre optic camera and had a look. The wonders of the sphinx indeed.' :eek:
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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The good doctor didn't know where to begin. He had previously reasoned that he'd mused his final thoughts - his brain being respectfully preserved at a leading museum in a civilised land, for future generations to admire and aspire to, his aged and deceipt body artistically but tastefully restored, for the hoi polloi to remember the better years, when he walked with them in the flesh - but not like what was done with those Communist monsters Lenin and Stalin, where their bodies were left to go mouldy because they were deemed unworthy of burial...

But here he was, alive and... well, well. He wasn't sure whether to be angry with the meddlesome taxidermist for nearly killing him, or to thank her for saving his life. He decided that he would play it safe, and cover both bases. He'd already covered the angry base. Knowing how personally she treated positive relations with the local constabulary and other self-proclaimed "law" enforcement agencies, he threatened phoning them and reporting her. He chuckled a little at the absurd thought. The only time he would call such "authorities", he reasoned, were if he were the proprietor of a doughnut corner store, and needed the extra sales.

Now perhaps, he should thank her with a gift. He opened his chest of personal effects, and brought out a koala bear and a kookaburra, which he had smuggled from Australia recently, due to the inexcusable incivility displayed by the Australian authorities. Poor gifts, he knew, but probably enough to make @christine40, @joyshirley and @CtC jealous. He hoped Sam91 would fare better with the koala than he had during the Middle Ages.

'Uhhh, excuse me, Sam91?' Doctor Sphinx asked, a little awkwardly.

'Good Morning Dr S, I'm so pleased you're making progress. At one stage there, I thought your brain might be the only thing that would survive.' @Sam91 explained cheerfully. 'I had a jar standing by, just in case,' she added, indicating a small jar on a shelf nearby, on noticing the doctor's concerned look.

'Quite.' stated the doctor magnanimously. 'I have brought you two gifts, to reward you for your recent exploits. The first is a kookaburra. It's laugh will help to remind you that no matter how crazy @christine40's laugh sounds - there is a creature with a laugh, which is moreso. And the second is a koala.'

'Why, thank you kindly, Doctor Sphinx', Sam91 exclaimed edging toward him as if to give him another one of those bear-hugs.

The Doctor edged cautiously away.

'Uhh. With the koala, there are 3 rules you must follow. One - don't ever get him wet. Two - keep him away from bright light. And three - no matter how much he begs, no matter how much he cries, never, never, *ever* feed him after midnight.'

Doctor Sphinx backed out of the makeshift operating theatre, before Sam91 had any sort of chance to break his bones.
 
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Sam91

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So Dr S.... 'do you think you are strong enough to join the others or would you like to remain on the ship with a nice restorative tea?

Yes, that would be best. @ebony can send word to us if you need anything'

Sam91 led the recovering, but still vibrant doctor to the deck of the boat with a chilled mint and ginger tea, prepared earlier while the Doctor was still asleep.

'Now enjoy the peace, I know we will' @Sam91 continued. The good doctor looked on bemused.

'And something I'd like an answer to when we return. When you say not to feed Donald after midnight... how do I adjust for timezones?'

Sam 91 skipped away merrily, eager to join the gang.

When the others saw Samantha approaching alone, some sighed with relief, a few positively grinned at the chance to just exist without sermons or waves of unasked for advice. Although, everyone loves brother Sphinx really, even @GreenWizard.
 
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joyshirley

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Stifling laughter, joyshirley, Christine, Lilac and CTC leapt onto the wharf and ran towards the street.

"Where are we?" Lilac asked as they came to a halt, out of breath.

"I don't know or care!" Christine replied."I am just so glad to be on terra firma again!"spreading her arms out to embrace the city before her.

"It's Melbourne!" joyshirley said excitedly. "Yes, I was starting to feel suffocated, stuck on that boat day after day! I've been making plans on my phone for a fun-filled afternoon and evening for us, girls! Oh, and you too, CTC, if you're game?"

CTC hesitated, before replying that if there was pizza and lots of it included in these plans, then "I'm in!"

"What plans?" Sam asked, catching up with them.

"Sightseeing, lunch, shopping, a hotel..."

"A hotel?" they all chorused. "Why are we going to a hotel?"

"It's a surprise. Just be ready to have fun fun fun! Come on, everyone! We're on a whirlwind tour of Melbourne."

"Oh, my giddy aunt!" Lilac stared at the sleek black 1974 Cadillac limo that had pulled up beside them.

"Jump in! We're travelling in style, smooth cruisin' with no yawing of any sort!" js laughed as she opened the door.

"Where to start in this wonderful city?" CTC said, gazing at the beautiful buildings all around.

"Grand limo tour of the city, followed by pizza and salad for lunch at the Botanic Gardens. A wander round the Melbourne Museum, then full steam ahead on a short tram ride to the CBD. Shop till you drop, but you better not!" js said cryptically, 'then limo to the hotel for dinner. Which none of us have to cook!"

"I want one of those hats with the dangly things you see Aussies wearing in the outback!" Christine said.

The others laughed. "Yeah, why not?"

Discussing their prospective purchases, they enjoyed the few hours respite from the boat and soon it was time to go shopping.

"Buy something nice to wear this evening!" js instructed them. "My treat!"

"It's only dinner in a hotel. Surely I can wear my jeans and t-shirt?" Lilac protested.

Li-lac, please buy something pretty to wear," js wheedled. "You never know where we will be going after dinner."

"Oh, all right, js! Gee, you're boss...er...persuasive, aren't you?"

Loaded with bags filled with lovely clothes, CTC even splashing out on a cool jacket to go with his other new gear, they flopped into chairs at the dinner table js had reserved for them.

"What a huge table. There's room enough for at least six more people," Sam noted.

"Look who's here!" as David approached the dinner table, along with Dr S, GW, jennypearl, Dirk and LaSorcia.

"What's the big idea, running out on us while we were resting our eyes?" David demanded, his eyes taking in the delectable food being served.

"We booked you all in here for dinner too. Just eat up, as we can't get stuck here all night, David!"

David, slightly stunned at js' peremptory tone, did as he was told, with one eyebrow raised. :D

"Where's that limo? I need to get back to the ship and sleep this feed off." GW groaned as he rubbed his very round little tummy.

"Sleep? No time to sleep. LaSorcia, did you grab their good clothes?"

"Yep! And I can't wait!" she said with a secret smile at js.

"Hey! Do you know what the surprise is? No fair!!" the other girls chorused.

"Everyone just go and get your glad rags on. I've booked two rooms at the hotel here for us. You menfolk, too. Go go go!" js said.

"I am not prepared to go on a ride to an unknown destination, all the while knowing absolutely nothing about what we may have to face during said ride. And where did this limo come from? I find it very suspicious that it appeared, unbidden..."

Dr S was cut off by various cries of "Put a sock in it, Dr S! We haven't got time for that! And js ordered the limo! Her brother's friend owns it!"

Dr S shot a sideways glance at js, his brain whirling almost audibly with thoughts as to what js could be planning. He was sure it would eventually be to the detriment of the brave band of adventurers. Perhaps he could get Sam to find out. That was it. He would tell Sam to quiz js.

Turning to speak with Sam, he saw her rushing into the lift with the other girls, laughing as they tried to guess what the surprise was.

(And no, js is not going to stop writing here, because like Christine, js wants some fun and excitement and joy in at least one country on this adventure and this time she's gonna get it!) :D

An hour later, everyone met in the hotel foyer.

"Man, I hardly recognise everyone!" Christine marvelled. "We had gotten so salty and sunburnt and our clothes had faded so much at sea all this time..." She looked admiringly at everyone.

"You look lovely too, Christine!" js said. 'Oh, here's the limo! We can all fit in easily. Come on!"

It was obvious js was in a state of high excitement. For a moment, she had qualms that the others might not like her surprise, but dismissed them. Surely they would be as thrilled as she was.

The limo arrived at the Rod Laver Arena and was waved through the gate to one of the entrances to the building. Leaping out and looking at the hordes of people queued up, the penny started to drop.

"It must a concert or a game or something," David said as he and the others were ushered through the entrance.

"Looks like we're going in via the VIP entrance! How cool!" Dirk said, looking round eagerly. "If it's a basketball game..."

gennypearl looked excited. Could it possibly be her fave basketball player in there?

js heard them and shook her head slightly at them, with a smile.

"Not this time, I'm sorry."

An attendant led them to seats in the front row and gave them all a bag of goodies hand-picked by the artist who was to peform that evening.

"Look! All sorts in this bag!" Lilac said as the others delved into theirs.

"I have some men's perfume!" Dr S said with a smile, then subsided bashfully as the others grinned at him.

"But who???"David said, when he saw the personal message in his gift bag, signed by Celine Dion!!!

js was almost jumping up and down in excitement as she saw her pals begin to look as excited as she was. The woman with arguably the best voice in the world would be on the stage before them in less than an hour. Oh, js just couldn't wait! :)

Three hours later, they made their way out slowly to the waiting limo. Almost everyone was talking at once, overwhelmed by the beauty of Celine's voice. Dr S was surreptitiously dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. He had heard many fine voices over time, but Celine was in a class of her own.

"What a day! And what a night!" Christine murmured as she sank against the luxurious seat.

The limo purred out of the Arena and onto the road leading to the waterfront. Tired now, everyone began to doze off as the car moved smoothly through the city.

(My daughter attended a Celine Dion concert last night and was totally blown away by the magnificence of her voice. Before coming here, Celine performed in Melbourne and that gave me the idea for this little interlude in the story.)
 
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Sam91

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Sam 91 looked at the others. They too, could barely contain their gratitude to our wonderful host for this delightful day. If only @joyshirley could co-ordinate the group more often. It would make for a more fun-filled and organised tour. However, she had obviously put in a lot of effort and resources ro make such a perfect day.

'Erm @Doctor.Sphinx I seem to have noticed that you are dabbing at your eyes with your left hand, and when someone threw you that sock, did you realise that you also caught that with your left? I wonder whether this side effect of repolarisation is temporary or not.. but for now, at least, you are an adopted lefty! Congratulations'...

'So, where are we sleeping tonight?' Asked @christine40, hoping it would be in that hotel seeing that the rooms are already booked...
 
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DavidFirth

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'There'll be time enough fer sleepin' when the dealin's done. More ribs, mate, and make it snappy, I gotta cravin', ya know!' David hollered at the somewhat shaken waiter. 'This guy can't get enough' he thought.

Meanwhile @joyshirley slipped a Mickey into the captain's rum while he was a hollerin'. It was for his own good, she thought, he's going to have a heart attack before we get back to the boat stuffing himself with all that greasy meat and BBQ sauce.

@Doctor.Sphinx was amused that @Sam91 had decided to leave him be for a while. 'Must be the soothing tone of Me. Dion's voice' he thought.

@joyshirley, @christine40 and the rest of the crew were still freaking out over the concert.
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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Doctor Sphinx, somewhat embarrassed that some of the others claimed to have caught him wiping his eyes with his pocket square, tried to explain that any alleged tears were likely only the after-effects of trying to save brave Captain Firth from @Sam91's spicy fish soup. In general, Sphinx tears were primarily imaginary, for reasons of dignity and self-respect.

Doctor Sphinx decided to admit to Sam91 that he was indeed left-handed - even thought this was not technically true - both to divert attention from the aforementioned issue at hand, and in hopes that this would help Sam91 to accept that he was secretly more clever than he appeared.

Although, he conceded to the CF crew discombobulately, remembering the allegations anew, that he particularly enjoyed Celine's rendition of the famous movie song about the greatest insurance fraud ever committed on the high seas.

'Ummm. Which movie was that?' @DavidFirth asked in a subdued manner. Doctor Sphinx could see that the mickey @joyshirley had slipped the Captain was starting to dull the man's already-blunt wits.

'The one with the RMS Olympic, of course,' explained the good doctor, as patient as ever.

'I think he's referring to the movie Titanic,' translated Sam91, becoming ever-more conversant in the Sphinx's riddles.

'I'm getting quite tired, now,' complained @christine40, 'and I don't enjoy DavidFirth's hollering so much as I enjoyed the magnificence of Mrs Dion's voice', as the Captain, now half-asleep, sucked the meat from another plateful of juicy ribs.
 
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Sam91

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DavidFirth

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'One more plate 'o ribs!' hollered the captain. Right after that he fell right out on the floor.

'Good' said @Doctor.Sphinx, 'We can leave him here and save on the hotel bill.' he said, rather triumphantly.

Of course the girls wouldn't hear it and dragged the captain off in search of a place for him to sleep it off.
 
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Sam91

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Sam91 stumbled across another article and decided to share it with the ladies of the group.

'The poor @Doctor.Sphinx is going through another tough time, of which I feel a little responsible. 3000 years of prejudice means that he is in de-nile about his change of circumstance. He can not accept that he is infact a sinistra.

He will feel inept and clumsy being thrust abruptly into life as a leftie in a right-handed world. Now the innate lefty has lived that existance entire life and adapted. Not noticing these inconveniences as never having experienced anything different- with exception to the painful use of scissors

I implore you all to remember this if he seems a little irrational. He will be perpetually irked until he either adapts or his naturally dexterity returns. This article can help understand his woes.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/10-things-youll-only-understand-13074809'

@christine40 looked aghast and said 'So we will all need to remember to practise long-suffering, kindness, goodness, self-control, peace even more than we already do in his case. Praise God that we have a Helper to help us bear with him in his time of need.'

@joyshirley said 'we must remember to pray constantly for him.'

'Poor @GreenWizard' continued @LaSorcia . 'He often torments him as it is, we will need to deflect the Doc's attention from GW, we wouldn't like the Doc to direct his frustration there.'

'Well' smirked @Sam91 'I seem gifted at irking the good doc andcausing him to ruminate on me suspiciously, I could up my antics a little.'

The ladies were not as impressed as the smug @Sam91. 'About that Samantha,' said the wise @christine40 , 'is it really very Christian of you to be doing that. There are warnings about causing your brother to stumble. Besides, we practice a lot of forebearance with you, some of us are more than bored with your escapades'

Sam91 was taken aback to say the least. She respected @christine40 for her honesty, caution and her gentle attitude while speaking those hard truths. 'Yes, I have pondered that myself and think he would stumble regardless'

She saw from @*LILAC 's eyes that her excuse didn't hold much water. Rather than try to think of more excuses she humbly said that the ladies were correct and to pray for each other is the best thing to do.

They looked at each other and flew down to the boys room after hearing some commotion.

'Noooo, don't close that door' panicked the exasperated @Doctor.Sphinx . The handle is broken!

'We're trapped' said the barely with it Captain @DavidFirth (sam91 still hadn't googled to find out what a mickey is, not wanting to ask and appear a little daft... that pride has to go.)

@gennypearl took hold of the handle and turned it. The door opened smoothly, straight away.

Sam91 struggled to say with all due composure and failed. 'Face it Sphinxy, you were turning the wrong way because you used your left hand'. @Dirk1540 sniggered and looked at @CtC causing him to chortle in return.

The good-but-about-to-erupt-like-a-volcano-Doctor S scowled at @Sam91 while reciting, silently, with all his might, the verses from ephesians 4 about getting rid of all bitterness, rage and anger.

Sam91 took pity on the good doc by vacating the room immediately.

Exasperatedly, and quite comedically he....
 
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DavidFirth

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just waved Sam off as if she weren't even there with a flick of his left wrist. Everybody then went to sleep the somewhat eventful night off.

In the morning they all got up and went to...
 
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Doctor.Sphinx

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football practice.

'Ha,' thought Doctor Sphinx, triumphant once again as he scored yet another goal against the obese but ever rib-craving Captain, 'I don't need my left hand for that!'
 
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