Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Silicon actually', explained Doctor Sphinx to @Sam91, as the small, green leprechaun kindly offered him a glass of water to quench the smouldering which was apparently coming from his yarmulke. 'I installed a silicon chip inside my yarmulke of intrepid-intercontinental-explorership, to help me faster process my thoughts, navigational calculations and other important Sphinx-related business.'

'And it got switched to overload?' asked @LaSorcia thoughtfully.

'Oh, I'm not that careless,' laughed Doctor Sphinx. 'No, certainly not after the last one which I had installed inside my head... No, it seems we have a sinistral in out midst. I had... err... somewhat unscrupulously... sabotaged her tinfoil yarmulke-of-protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers in order to read her thoughts...'

'Doctor, how could you?' exclaimed LaSorcia, somewhat shocked at the underhanded behaviour.

'Oh, it's very easy, actually', explained the Doctor, 'as this particular yamulke is made of tinfoil, all you have to do is punch little holes...'

'No, I meant how could you do it, from a moral perspective?' LaSorcia explained her question a little more carefully.

'Ahh, well, yes, I guess it wasn't very polite, now, was it? But if she wasn't left-handed, I would never have been caught, and then we wouldn't even be having this conversation', answered the doctor defensively.

There was a shocked silence from the other crew members.

'You mean?' asked the @GreenWizard.

'It can't be true, not Sam91,' exclaimed @Dirk1540.

LaSorcia, previously happy to take the moral high-ground with respect to mental eavesdropping, had decided that desperate times called for desperate measures.

Within moments, she cried aloud 'Sam91, how could you keep this from me?'

'What's wrong?' asked Sam91 innocently, still scribbling copious notes on the reactions of her fellows and especially the suspicious Sphinx character, the fountain pen in her left hand attesting to the charges against her.

'Your hand, Sam,' laughed Dirk1540. 'You've been having us on and tricked us by using your left hand. But you've had your fun, how about you switch over and use your proper hand for writing now, eh?'

'What, this?' asked Sam91 bewildered, holding up her fountain pen. 'I've always used my left hand'.

The other crew members, excepting the good doctor, stifled a communal gasp.

'So... you... admit it?' asked LaSorcia, brushing a solitary tear from her eye. 'But...'

At this, the doctor stepped between Sam91 and the other crew members. 'Look here, shipmates, I think you're making this into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. So Sam91 is lefthanded...' Another communal gasp from the crew. 'So what?'

After a lengthy delay, the GreenWizard asked 'But aren't left-handers more prone to evil acts, like taxidermy, and severing of the useful-but-non-essential-for-life body parts of others, and dastardly experiments of a... scientific... nature...'

'Nonsense, dear leprechaun,' laughed the doctor. 'An old wives tale told by leprechaun mothers to scare their rodent children into eating up all their brussel sprouts and liver with their stinkweed. If anything, left-handers are a lot smarter. I practiced for a long time to become one...' More gasps from the crew-members. 'But alas, I seemed to lack the intelligence quotient', continued the doctor. He wiped away another imaginary tear from his eye.

'So does this mean I'm smarter than you?' Sam91 asked brightly.

'Errr... Intelligence is hard to measure,' explained the Doctor vaguely. 'It's made up of things like... opportunity, and uhh... wealth, and ummm... experience. Yes, experience is a big one. When you have 3000 plus years experience like me, I'm sure you will be as smart then as I am now.'

'But not smarter?' pressed Sam91, a little disappointed at the doctor's obscure answer.

'Well, left-handedness is but a small component of intelligence...' the doctor continued. He felt he was quickly losing control of this conversation, and seizing the opportunity, suddenly exclaimed 'Look! What's that?', and pointed toward the sky.

 

[Sam91]

'The sun' replied @gennypearl.

'Doctor S do you think that ...' interjected @Sam91, keen to try to recover the conversation.

@Dirk1540 squinting at the sky said 'Is that a drone?'

'Wow a pterodactal!' Joked a previously unseen CF member.

This was however bait to the already exasperated, but nonetheless patient @Doctor.Sphinx .

' @CtC ummm... there are some things that you should not say to @Doctor.Sphinx unless you want to suffer a long, diatribe about evolutionists!' whispered @Sam91 while considering loaning CtC her yalmulke-of-diplomatic-speech-for-rec-room-newbies.

She looked aghast....

(Editorial aside: Anybody who knows anything about sinistrals would know that @Doctor.Sphinx was mistaken. A sinistral struggles with the use of fountain pens.

Pushing the pen, as opposed to gracefully pulling it like the more common right-handed biped, causes damage to the nib. It requires much care to avoid smearing the wet ink. The hand tires from the extended effort, and rests on the page causing unsightly smudges and untold frustration. Although this left hander has romanticised visions of writing fluently with said contraption; it was long ago traded in for gel pens, with and without sparkles)

 

[CtC]

... until he, realizing he had been misheard, repeats "Wow a type-of-fractal!" (pointing at the Romanesco broccoli shaped cloud in the sky).

As the scowl retreated from @Doctor.Sphinx 's brow, @Sam91 appeared to snicker ever so slightly, as if she enjoyed seeing @Doctor.Sphinx get riled up yet again.

That allowed @gennypearl to continue, "The sun... it shines so wonderfully among the beautiful clouds." The group paused for a moment to thank the Lord for such a gift.

Then suddenly a huge...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

shadow descended upon the group. What had appeared to @CtC to be a Romanesco broccoli shaped cloud was in actual fact, Doctor's Sphinx's conscience, which he had conveniently left behind in Egypt, after underhandedly selling his dilapidated old pyramid, full of has-been Pharoahs and filthy rags, to a trusting friend for a princely sum. After escaping from the sarcophogas in which he had locked it, his conscience had been searching the four corners of the Earth for him, and now that it had finally found him, was not going to let him get away with the deception easily.

'Ladies and gentlemen,' he began, looking toward @LaSorcia, @christine40, @Dirk1540 and @DavidFirth, 'leprechauns and newcomers', glancing at @GreenWizard and @CtC, 'dextrals and uhhh... others of less reputable... uhhh... manifestations', he glanced at @Sam91, but then looked away in case she had started to glare. 'I feel we have been unfair to one of our valued and enthusiastic crew members. Although she might neglect to use her proper hand for writing, do any of us ever give any thought to the difficulty of such a one must undergo, when scribing, from the side of evil to the side of the right, or when weilding a right-handed screw driver, or even when gardening with a humble pair of right-handed secateurs...'

Sam91 sighed. It seemed as if Doctor Sphinx had been doing some research after mistakenly identifying her gel pen as a fountain pen, but as usual, he'd used Google as his investigative tool of preference, and somehow selected all the wrong sites. At least some of his information sounded right this time.

'Can't she just turn them upside down?' asked the green leprechaun helpfully.

'No friends, I fear we have done a deserving member of our crew a disservice,' continued the doctor, frowning at the GreenWizard in case his interruption lessened the impact of what he believed to be a sincere apology. 'And as a result, I'd like to present, our valued and left-handed friend Sam91...', a few gasps from the less open-minded at the use of the l-word, 'with this left-handed fountain pen...', more gasps as he presented Sam91 with the implement described, 'and, introduce to the ship a style of writing that henceforth, moves from the side of the right, to the side of... uh... less right'.

At this announcement, there was much commotion.

'Hear, hear, Doctor Sphinx, I'm the Captain of this ship, and you can't just issue a decree that we'll be writing from the side of good to the side of... well, less good' commented Captain DavidFirth.

'That's crazy, Doctor S. What society was ever successful in writing in such a backward way?' asked the little Green Leprechaun.

The doctor, however, believing that his conscience had been appeased for the moment, at least for his recent transgression, was in no mood to debate the matter. He strode from the room, leaving CtC with the thought that it perhaps would have been better had he actually spotted a pterodactal in the first place.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Doctor Sphinx awoke, and arose from his bunk within the cabin. Last night had been a most satisfying evening. He chuckled to himself at the thought of all those dextrals having at least a small taste of their own medicine - learning first-hand how difficult it is to write from right to left, and smudging ink all over themselves and their pages. Taking his own left-handed fountain pen, he began making an entry into his diary, but stopped several minutes into the attempt.

'It will be far more entertaining,' thought he to himself, 'to ascertain how the others are faring'.

When Doctor Sphinx entered the bridge, the crew were in disarray. Captain @DavidFirth was valiantly trying to make sense of the navigation chart, which the doctor supposed, was due to ink stains all over it making it more difficult to read. The ink stains were in the shape of leprechaun paw-prints, so the doctor deduced it had been the @GreenWizard, or at least a member of his family, who had contributed to the chaos in some form.

'What seems to be the problem?' he asked no-one in particular.

'Whilst trying to obey your edict last night,' the small, green leprechaun confessed, 'and writing backwards...'. He looked anxiously at @Sam91. 'That is, writing from the side of good fortune to the side of, well, miss Fortune, I mistakenly spilled my inkwell all over the letter I was writing to my mother.'

'You didn't think to cover the inkwell before refilling the reservoir of your fountain pen?' asked the doctor, although he suspected he already knew what the answer would be.

'Well, the letter was nearly finished,' the green leprechaun confessed. 'All I had left to do was sign my name, and so rather than cover the inkwell before recommencing writing, I thought I would just quickly sign my name...'

'And then you bumped the inkwell, because you were concentrating on not smudging your letter as you wrote from right to left?' summarised the doctor. The green leprechaun nodded.

'And then, you tried to clean your dirty paws and letter to mom on the first clean item you could identify, which was the Captain's unlaminated navigation map?' asked Doctor Sphinx. The green leprechaun nodded again.

'And then, after accidentally dislodging our ship's navigational marker from the navigation map, you put the marker back roughly where you thought it had been, and hoped that no one would be the wiser?' questioned Doctor Sphinx. The green leprechaun nodded a third time.

'You see,' DavidFirth interrupted the doctor's interrogation. 'I told you this decree would lead to trouble'.

'You agreed with me,' corrected the doctor. 'When I suggested it, you cried, "Hear, hear"!'

'Well, what I meant to say was "Here, here!"' argued the Captain. 'It might sound the same, but means something totally different.'

'Well, what one means to say, and what one says, can be two totally different things,' agreed the Doctor wisely. 'Anyway, roughly where are we? And whatever happened to our GPS?'

'Well, for some reason, the GPS stopped functioning almost as soon as we entered this little area here,' the Captain indicated a triangular region on the map. 'But we're most certainly in the vicinity of a place called Bermuda'.

 

[mama2one]

"No!" screamed almost everyone.

"It was recently on the news that scientists learned that it's huge waves that often occur in the Bermuda Triangle. That's why ships disappear!" reported @DavidFirth

"How do we get out of here quickly?" shouted everyone.

Just then a strange thought popped into @Sam91 's head.
Wonder where the whale is now that AncientofdaysDays helped?

Christine was frightened as she couldn't swim and was desperately looking for any life jackets.

@CtC said.......

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'How long can you hold your breath for, Christine40?'

@christine40 wasn't sure if CtC was being serious or funny.

'Well, if you can hold your breath for long enough - and provided you sink to the bottom, of course - you could simply hold your breath and walk all the way to dry land' @CtC explained.

'I'm not sure if words are adequately able to describe my opinion of your idea,' answered Christine40 rather reservedly. 'Does anyone else have a plan?'

'I do! I do!' shouted the little, green leprechaun.

'Anybody else?' asked Christine40, quite aware that the @GreenWizard's record in this area was not one hundred percent.

 

[joyshirley]

"The Bermuda Triangle - a place feared by sailors and travellers," joyshirley intoned in a spooky voice.

At this, Christine let out another scream and scrabbled in vain for a life jacket among the discarded papers and inkwells on the deck of their boat.

"Who hid all the life jackets, anyway?" David demanded. "Apparently, I'm the Captain and someone has done me out of being able to roar 'Don the life jackets! Man the lifeboats!'"

A petulant look crossed his features as Lilac laughed and said, "But the boat isn't even sinking, David. The sea is calm!"

A nervous laugh escaped GW's lips as he looked at the sun burning down on the motionless sea.

"Oh, where are my sunglasses? Now I can't see anything!" he moaned, grappling for his glasses under the plates of homemade pizza joyshirley had brought up from the kitchen below.

"Pizza, anyone?"

"Pizza? Pizza? How can you even think of pizza when we may be plunged to our deaths at any moment by giant waves! We are in the BERMUDA TRIANGLE!" GM shrieked, cowering behind LaSorcia.

Casting a glance at DR S and Sam, js twirled a knife before cutting a slice of pizza and handing it to Christine with a wink.

" Somebody dropped the GPS thingy," js said, carefully not looking at anyone in particular. "We don't need it, though. We are, in fact, currently on course to make landfall in Australia in exactly 22 minutes time."

"How do you know this?" David asked, looking bemusedly at the defunct GPS.

"We, that is, my people know how to navigate via the stars," js replied.

"It's broad daylight! You're lying - trying to calm us because soon we will be plunged under giant waves!" A strangled sound escaped GW as he tried desperately to control his fear.

"I was awake last night while you were all snor...all asleep. Like gennypearl, I keep odd hours," with a smile at GW. "Now calm yourself and get ready to throw a boomerang or two. Just don't let it hit me on its way back!"

Christine bit into the pizza with a sigh of relief.

"I didn't know you could cook so well, js!"

Nor did, I, till I came on this trip! Are you ready for us, Australia?!?"

 

[DavidFirth]

I got one question. @CtC , can you cook ribs?

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Oh, not Australia,' complained Doctor Sphinx. 'Don't you understand that country is entirely peopled with criminals?'

'Not entirely, doctor. The British stopped sending their convicts there more than a century ago', @joyshirley commented cheerfully.

Doctor Sphinx sighed. 'Yes, but who do you think runs the place now?'

'Uhhh. Reformed convicts?' asked the leprechaun.

'And what makes you think the convicts are reformed?' asked the doctor.

'Well, aren't all those years in Australia enough to reform anyone?' asked the leprechaun.

The doctor was surprised to admit it, but there was some truth in the leprechaun's words. Before he could think up a witty retort, there was the sound of gun-fire, and grumpy looking people in black uniforms were all over the ship.

'Pirates!' exclaimed @DavidFirth, as he valiantly tipped one overboard, into the ocean. But there were too many, and he and the rest of the CF crew were eventually overcome and handcuffed.

'They're actually Australia's Border Force,' whispered Doctor Sphinx to the others. 'For all intents and purposes, the same as pirates, but these pirates have government sanction...'

'But how?' began DavidFirth.

'Convict government,' explained the doctor.

The brave and intrepid CF crew were brought before a brusque and ugly looking woman, who they presumed to be the pirate leader. At least, Doctor Sphinx thought she was a woman, but it was hard to tell. She had short blonde hair, with some hints of unnatural colours dyed into it, as seemed to be custom for those in the employ of the Australian government. She spoke slowly and deliberately, as if she had been labotomised, and her eyes were dull.

'You illegal boat people were illegally crossing into Australian waters', she stated. Doctor Sphinx supposed Australians liked to use the word 'illegal' to describe the activities of others, because it helped them to feel better about their own crimes.

'And you've brought some illegal contraband,' the woman went on, having one of her custom's officers parade out DavidFirth's supply of fresh ribs for the burgers he asked CtC to cook him.

'Since when is meat contraband?' exclaimed DavidFirth indignantly.

'This meat can cause untold damage to Australia's unique flora and fauna,' the woman went on as she brushed her nose. Doctor Sphinx imagined he could see the faint outline of a mustache. 'Illegally.' she concluded, as if to give justification to her sentence.

She gave another signal, and her accomplice threw the Captain's meat into the ocean. The Captain cried out in anger, but there were worse things in store.

'Your little leprechaun,' continued the woman, 'is illegal in Australia. So we're going to have him put to sleep humanely, and you'll be charged for the service.'

The GreenWizard looked questioningly at the Doctor. He didn't mind a nap, but neither did he trust these Australians. A sudden empty feeling came over him and he checked for his wallet - but it had already been stolen.

The Doctor, on hearing what was to be the fate of poor @GreenWizard, suddenly had an idea. 'Excuse me, uhhh, ma'am?' he took a guess. 'We also have an Ophiophagus hannah on board. I would hate to think we would do anything illegal with that'.' He stole a glance at @Sam91, in case she suspected he was trying to unload her gift onto the unsuspecting Australians, but it seemed that she, like the others, was still too busy trying to process the sequence of events than to pay attention to what became of Hillary Clinton.

'Your snake is welcome in Australia.' the woman replied. 'Creatures such as this make fine politicians.' Dirk1540 frowned. So it was the same in Australia as it was in the United States.

'Oh. And as you came illegally to Australia in your illegal vessel, your vessel will be burned!' the woman finished.

The CF Crew were taken to a holding cell, Doctor Sphinx supposed to give them an opportunity to consider their crimes, while the Australian pirates prepared to make good their promises.

 

[Sam91]

Sam91 looked at the people in the holding bay. It all seemed like she would be tortured... room 101 style. 'This sucks! Turned away from the Philippines... actually criminalised in Australia.'

The room was hot and sticky. Sweat patches on everybody's clothes, even the women's. It really didn't seem fair; the group try very hard to do things right and get treated so harshly.

@christine40 re-entered the room, pale and it appeared that she had been sobbing. @*LILAC tried to go to comfort Christine but was promptly ordered to sit back down.

The guard gestured and took away @LaSorcia. She couldn't take this, she didn't even have her yarmulke of comfort. They'd all been confiscated as potential counterfeit goods.

'Psst' Whispered the annoyingly nosey @Doctor.Sphinx . 'Armour of God'.

'SILENCE' snapped a guard through the observation window.

'Armour of God? Why would he even say that? The guards aren't in armour.

Oh! He has the cheek to still be listening into my thoughts! Ooooooh! I'm to wear the helmet of salvation! Infact, I need the full armour. I don't care about those guards, I will praise, like the apostles did in jail.'

@Sam91 started singing... loudly.

“When I fear my faith will fail
Christ will hold me fast
When the tempter would prevail
He will hold me fast
I could never keep my hold
Through life’s fearful path
For my love is often cold
He must hold me fast"

The guard strode into the room, eyes focussed angrily on @Sam91. @GreenWizard poked his foot out and tripped the guard. @DavidFirth extricated the guard's handcuffs, using them to restrain her. @CtC had the foresight to steal her security badge.

'Quickly gang, we'll need to come back for laSorcia' said @Dirk1540

@joyshirley indignantly stated that she was going nowhere without her.

'A heroic rescue it is...' said the sweatily rugged, but still fairly handsome DrS.

@Sam91 picked up at an intriguing device that have fallen to the floor 'Is that a tazer?' She wondered in awe. 'T'is mine now' Thinking happily aloud.

At that moment...

 

[DavidFirth]

@LaSorcia had fsthomed what the pirates really wanted. She arranged to have them issued a certificate of credit for 500 English pounds of gold. When the transaction was confirmed the pirates dumped the hapless crew in Tasmania. They still burned the ship and made the leprechaun dress like a passable child, then they promptly left with their booty.

David had just finished weeping over the lost ribs when...

 

[CtC]

@CtC finally spoke up and said, "No!"

The group, a little stunned, started to recount what had just transpired in an attempt to contextualize his remark. You see, there was the issue of @christine40 holding her breath and walking to dry land, the home (ship) made pizza that he missed out on (he being rather fond of pizza), the broken GPS unit, the fact that @gennypearl has been away, so, so long, the question about him cooking ribs, AND, of course the whole fiasco with the greedy pirates! What could he possibly mean?

"We can't possibly be in Tasmania!", @CtC continued. "That would require one of two things to be true, either we were teleported here by some crazy technology that has been kept secret up to this point, or we were supernaturally saved by faith! Well, you know what I mean, saved by God due to..."

Waiting patiently no more, @DavidFirth interrupted, saying "But CAN YOU COOK RIBS?"

Shocked, @CtC replied, "Well, technically speaking, I *can* cook ribs, but due to not eating meat, I'm not inclined to do so." Much to @DavidFirth 's dismay.

Just then, @CtC was distracted by the gadget that @Sam91 was holding. "Hey, @Sam91, what is that?"

@Doctor.Sphinx , looking for an opportunity to stir up drama, exclaimed "Wait, maybe this whole pirate capture, daring escape, and bizarre transportation to Tasmania is really just a trick of The Triangle!" Having captured the attention of @LaSorcia, @*LILAC, @joyshirley, and @DavidFirth he continued, "I am confident that my vast knowledge, accumulated over centuries, will help me uncover the truth!"

However, @GreenWizard had other plans, he...

 

[mama2one]

dusted off his phone and was trying to locate a couple of his friends who lived there, the Tasmanian Devil twins

meanwhile........

 

[Sam91]

'Hold on...' said Samantha, seizing an opportunity to criticise @CtC which was currently her second favourite hobby. The first being antagonising the good doctor S.

'Are you really so selfish as to not cook ribs for the poor, incapable @DavidFirth? I mean, it is not his fault that he is as inept at cooking as a goldfish playing air guitar! While you're not a culinery maestro, your fayre fares better. It is at least edible... even if a little strange.' She gave him a quizzical look, about to become pharisaical again.

@Doctor.Sphinx cautioned 'It is written...'

At which point @Sam91 pressed the tazer button shooting the good doc.... (grinning manicly )

'Aaaaarfghewwwe'...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Never before, in all his 3000 plus years, had the doctor felt so empowered. But not in the positive sense of the word...

 

[Sam91]

'I am sorry Dr S!' She said biting her lip. It had dawned on her that she wanted to enlist his help in recovering the lost collection of yarmulkes...

"...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Oh, please don't be sorry, @Sam91', explained the doctor, feeling somewhat similar to the time that he'd switched the silicon chip he'd installed inside his head to overload, in an effort to obtain special powers. 'I have always admired your efforts to advance the scientific cause'.

'I apologise I won't be able to aid in your quest to retrieve the stolen yarmulkes. I did have a lot on, what, with being in cooped up, holding-cell-101 style, in this little torture chamber, and figuring out how to save the little, green leprechaun from...' his mind started to relax. 'And from...something else about ribs... But now I just feel very sleepy'.

He briefly wondered if Sam91's experiment - yes, it must have been some sort of experiment - had given him some sort of superpower, before his mind totally went to sleep.

Sam91 stared at the unconscious doctor.

'I'm beginning to think,' said she to herself, 'that this Doctor Sphinx isn't half as useful as he makes out that he is'.

 

[Sam91]

@Sam91 looked at the time and indeed it was very late. She decided to go to sleep herself and maybe tomorrow she could find a way herself to procure her yarmulkes. Maybe she'd find a way to convince Dr.S to be her sidekick in this... of course pretending that he was leading the way.

Then, of course, this mysterious @CtC might be of some use. He shows promise, except he refused to assist @DavidFirth. David could be enticed easily with food.

If she could convince @LaSorcia to come along @*LILAC @christine40 and @joyshirley would too.

@Dirk1540 is reliable and helpful, he'll be all for aiding this endeavour. Of course @GreenWizard would definitely get involved due to the mischief element.

Which left @gennypearl she might remain with the baggage and sleep, with her love for keeping odd hours.

She fell asleep thinking of her friends and allies.

The others meanwhile...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Doused the doctor with water, in order to waken him from his slumber.

Doctor Sphinx awoke from his tazing wet, but worst of all, his dreams of heroically rescuing the others from the Australians - perhaps with some comedic relief from his sidekick @Sam91 and a hint of deadly plague from the leprechaun - dramatically smashed, on learning that it was @LaSorcia this time who had saved the day, by giving to the pirates what every Australian wants - somebody else's cold, hard cash.

'LaSorcia, what have you done?' the doctor asked, exasperated.

'Me?' LaSorcia asked innocently. 'Oh, I just gave those pirates what every Australian wants...' she began, before Doctor Sphinx broke her off.

'But Sam and I had nefarious...' the Doctor corrected himself after seeing Sam's expression at the word, 'I mean, ingenious plans to rescue us all from those wicked Australians, and then you go and ruin them all by saving the day!'

LaSorcia looked a little puzzled by the Doctor's indignation. After taking another sip of her tea, pinky finger raised even more vertically than usual to symbolise her displeasure at the Doctor's unwanted intrusion to her scone break, she answered 'Please doctor, don't worry about the money.' She made a motion with her upraised pinky, as if flicking an invisible commoner from her presence. 'What use is money, if one can't use it to bail out one's miscreant friends, once in a while?' she asked.

The Doctor, somewhat taken aback at the other's generosity, blurted out 'But what about your toilet?'

'Oh that?' LaSorcia laughed. 'Well, if I can spare $6000 for a royal toilet, don't you think I can spare a certificate of credit for 500 English pounds of gold, to save several online friends and a... errr... Sphinx?'

'But isn't gold somewhat expensive these days, with all the quantitative easing, hyperinflation and currency wars going around?' the doctor enquired.

'Oh goodness me, yes,' exclaimed LaSorcia enthusiastically. 'Gold is expensive, but certificates of credit are barely worth the paper they're printed on. If those pirates ever travel to a civilised place to try to cash in their ill-gotten certificate, they'll be locked away for being the scoundrels that they are.'

'Kidnapping is a crime in most of the civilised world,' she explained to the doctor, on the off-chance that it still hadn't been criminalised in Egypt, or wherever it was that he came from.

Doctor Sphinx had to admit, although it didn't seem it on the surface, LaSorcia's rescue was up there with some of the better rescues he himself had undertaken. But then, noticing the green leprechaun was no longer with them, asked 'But what about GreenWizard? Please don't tell me his last views of this life were of some half-baked Australian with a needle full of euthanasing fluid?'

'You mean like pentobarbital?' asked Sam91 helpfully.

The doctor looked at her as if to determine whether or not she was speaking French, but before she had time to translate, the @GreenWizard arrived with his friends, the Tasmanian Devil twins, Tony Abbott and Kevin Rudd. The twins made everybody laugh - not so much with them, but at them. Apparently, the two had been Australian politicians in their day, but due to lacking a poison comparable to the venom of the ophiophagus hannah, and as Australians typically have a poor sense of humour when it comes to elected representatives comedically wasting their tax dollars, did not malinger around for as long as politicians like Hillary Clinton had in the United States.

Doctor Sphinx started to breathe a sigh of relief. Everything was almost back to normal. He was once again the esteemed doctor for the CF crew, the green leprechaun was up to mischief with his old friends, and LaSorcia still wasn't short of a quid. 'Samantha is yarmulke-less', he realised, 'but managing to make up for it with witty metaphors and becoming more pharisaical', he thought to himself approvingly.

Just as the good doctor was about to relax, @DavidFirth exclaimed loudly. '@CtC! How many times do I have to repeat myself? Are you really so selfish as to not cook ribs for someone so poor and incapable? Is it not enough for Sam to inform you that I am as inept at cooking as a goldfish is at playing air guitar? Must I admit this to you with my own two lips?'