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Fights...
- Thread starter angelbaby12487
- Start date
You may not like hearing this, but most fights happen as a result of two things.
The first of these has been outlined already in the thread. Communication is priority number two, right there behind God.
The other cause is selfishness by one or both sides. It is usually a case where one side is focused on themself, and the other side disagrees because they are focused on themself. So it is an absolute must that understand the side of the other person in an argument. I don't think you'll see too many fights where both parties are fighting against their own view on the situation.
The first of these has been outlined already in the thread. Communication is priority number two, right there behind God.
The other cause is selfishness by one or both sides. It is usually a case where one side is focused on themself, and the other side disagrees because they are focused on themself. So it is an absolute must that understand the side of the other person in an argument. I don't think you'll see too many fights where both parties are fighting against their own view on the situation.
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ImperialPhantom
Guest
Been there, had that problem. You're not going to like this, but the truth is, it's a compatibility issue, and if it is a problem now, it will pretty much always be one unless one of you literally changes who you are as a person. You can either break up, or stay together and keep fighting.angelbaby12487 said:
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princessellie
Senior Member
- Jul 20, 2006
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- AU-Liberals
alot of the time you start fighting over small things when you spend alot of time together with nothing constructive to do
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f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
honestly i think lots of fights begin over lack of communication. if you never spend time communicating and learning about one another, fights will happen. when me and my ex went out and did stuff alot we never really fought, we were communicating. then it got to the point where we didn't do anything for like 6 months. thats when all the fighting began.
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laurasaur
Guest
my finacee and I used to fight like this heaps and heaps. I realised that it was mainly because i was being sooo irratating to him and/or i was letting all the small things get at me. like he would leave his dishes on the bench, and i would get in a sulk about it instead of asking him nicely to do it or even do it myself. once i learned to relax a bit it improved so much 
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f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
thats the key! normally most small fights are about something so small and so stupid. if we would just kill off our selfish desires and relax, the relationship will grow!laurasaur said:my finacee and I used to fight like this heaps and heaps. I realised that it was mainly because i was being sooo irratating to him and/or i was letting all the small things get at me. like he would leave his dishes on the bench, and i would get in a sulk about it instead of asking him nicely to do it or even do it myself. once i learned to relax a bit it improved so much
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Inperfected
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I admit i disagree with many things that have been said so far in this thread.
It is not just a matter of throwing off "seflishness" but rather learning where to, and where not to. I personally am in a great relationship but we were at the stage you are at now, and i admit it nearly broke us up SO many times. But now we are at a place where I am relaxed (well more so) about the things that annoyed him about me (i.e. Time control) and he is more worried about those things that get to me (ie. Money control) and visa versa. My driving, his organisation etc...
You see it's a matter of submitting to one another in different situations, not marital submission, but general submitting to the desires of the other person.
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Thank you that's great advice! We are doing a lot better now! I understand it just takes work.Inperfected said:
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