Fighting Past

[GirlForChrist]

I am fighting my past. I had an abusive boyfriend and had some other serious issues go on in my personal life. I now am in a christian relationship, and my boyfriend knows everything about my past. But I need someone to talk to that knows how I feel.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Your'e not alone. Sometimes is just sucks having to live with some of the things I've done. I'm guessing this is what you're dealing with.

 

[ej]

You're not alone. Some of the best guys (and girls!) here have fought, or are figting their past.

Life can be difficult. Hey, we're all here to listen, to share and hopefully be some help.

 

[OrderMySteps]

Talk to your boyfriend I promise you that he will listen and try to help as much as he can.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Your'e young and have a lot to look forward to.
Don't be hard on yourself. The key is this: did you learn something from your past? The lessons we learn shape us and make us stronger. You got away from your abusive relationship. It's like youv'e got a new start.
I urge you to make the best of what you have. Don't forget where youv'e been, but dont' stare behind. Just glance. Look ahead.
*hug*

 

[DaveKerwin]

Can you share a little bit more about your situation? I don't really understand.

You can share here, you will get some good council from us.

 

[ej]

Dave's right. (but he means counsel

)

Tell us more if you feel up to it. You may well find people here who've been in similar situations.

I've had an abusive boyfriend (who became violent because our standards regarding sexuality within a dating relationship were different, and I naively believed him when he apologised each time

).

I'm sure your experience is different - but as mentioned here already, there are some great guys on these forums. They'll definitely understand, and probably be able to help

 

[Warrior Poet]

Well I think that fighting with the past is just a process of letting it go....and can i tell you some stories...but i wont. I think the most important thing you can do is not dwell there, there will be emotional scars and physical ones to, they will be constant reminders that the past DID happen, but its just that the past, you cant change it and you cant let it change you (negativly). If you need to talk about it i would suggest professional help, if you just want to vent, then i feel your pain, its like some people cant except that is what happend and its the past and not what you do now, even though it maybe a part of who you are. Your man sounds like a good guy, if he doesnt through the past at you every chance and make you feel bad for it, I say he is doing and playing his role just as a boyfriend should. Fighting it can cause more problem then just embracing it and accpeting it, and continuing your new life style, my past will in many ways haunt me, but it wont ever beat me and wont ever become a part of the life I live now. I fully understand that different circumstance will lead to different emotions about the past, but the same rules apply.

Warrior Poet

 

[desi]

Try to give the past to God and at the same time be vigilant to make sure you don't fall back into a similar situation. For some reason many women go from one abusive relationship to another.

 

[angelstarlette]

I think it is important for you to remember that the abuse was not your fault. Also if he did sexually abuse you it is also not your fault. You did not chose to be in an abusive relationship, you wanted to be in a healthy one. Even though the past is hard to deal with you are doing a good job by just admitting you were abused.

Also remember it is hard for your boyfriend to accept that you were abused. It is a long process to get over abuse and you need to take your time to deal with it. God knows your intentions and how much you have to deal with. It is hard sometimes because your mind can play tricks on you. Also remember that you need to forgive yourself and that is the most important thing. It is hard, but it is also hard to hold all the guilt inside

angelstarlette

 

[cutekid 4 Jesus]

I think it is important for you to remember that the abuse was not your fault. Also if he did sexually abuse you it is also not your fault. You did not chose to be in an abusive relationship, you wanted to be in a healthy one. Even though the past is hard to deal with you are doing a good job by just admitting you were abused.

Also remember it is hard for your boyfriend to accept that you were abused. It is a long process to get over abuse and you need to take your time to deal with it. God knows your intentions and how much you have to deal with. It is hard sometimes because your mind can play tricks on you. Also remember that you need to forgive yourself and that is the most important thing. It is hard, but it is also hard to hold all the guilt inside

angelstarlette

You are still very young,have u considered taking a break from relationships till you have sorted out ur issues a bit more or maybe God called u to this relationship?I dunno,just be careful you dont seek refuge in boyfriends. I think every young christian should have a 'single' phase if they can.