Female Moderation.

[UnimaginablyHappy]

Okay, so I recently taken the Word of God seriously although I've been raised very strictly as a Christian my whole life. I just got rid of my clothes that I thought were too revealing. By revealing I mean tanks, shirts with cuts that were lower than the palm of my hand from my collar bone (no cleavage) , thin strapped shirts and shorts more than 1 1/2 dollar bills above my thigh. I've done this to "not tempt others" or at least try not to. I've always been obsessed (yes obsessed) with beauty and celebrities, and even considered plastic surgery many times, so I guess I was an idol to myself.
I've also stopped wearing makeup completely even though I've worn at least foundation since I was 13 every time I go out in public. It does get to be uncomfortable at times but I know that if someone is judging me for not being vain then that's their problem not mine. I am trying to figure out if relaxing (permanently straightening) my hair is too vain? It does make my life a lot easier and when I had natural thick curly hair I spent entirely too much time to make it look presentable, even in a bun. Are there any scriptures about permanent changes to hair?
I do still wear jewelry (not crosses) to give my outfits a little flair and to show personality but my friends and boyfriend think I am taking it a little too far with all the deletions in my wardrobe. What are your Christian opinions?

Off subject: I find that television shows are filled with sinful nature such as MTV, BET, VH1 blah blah blah. Should I just watch football games and then turn the tv off and read? I am really serious about turning my head away from sin.

 

[JCFantasy23]

Welcome to the forums, first of all.

It's an individual decision on things such as hair and makeup. Sounds like you are doing what you feel is right and I congratulate you on that. For your hair question, I do not see straightening hair as being too vain personally, although some may not agree and that's fine.

 

[heron]

You have quite a system down! It sounds like you have been involved with a very conservative fellowship.

Most mainstream churches have no problem with makeup or hairstyles. People try to keep their spiritual focus on prayer, teachings, and helping others.

Your changes in dressing were sensible in many ways. For one, many people are tempted by revealing clothes, and this distracts them from what they're trying to focus on, ideally.

Also, you have heard of "dress for success." People make judgments about you based on how you appear. If you send a message that you take risks and use your body to influence people (whether you know you do or not), then you would not be a good choice to represent a spiritual group. If you have hopes of being on a worship team, becoming an elder, whatever... then make sure that people see clearly what is in your heart.

Maybe a few people will think that the hair changes are a sign of something. But I suspect it will just be catty competition, not real spiritual advice.

I wear all sorts of jewelry. I used to wear crosses more often, because I felt like you did that I wanted to sanctify my life for Jesus, and honor Him. But the reaction of people around me did not lead others toward Christ, as I hoped it would.

At the time, I was in high school and people saw it as being dressed by my parents. So I developed my own favorite ways to dress that didn't draw attention: either by looking too different and homely, or luring people toward temptation.

No cleavage and bellybuttons, good choice. But the faith is not about food and drink, what to wear. It is about God's spirit alive within us!

 

[SharonL]

A wonderful change is occurring in your life. Don't get too involved with all the legalisms in different beliefs. Just lean on the leading of the Holy Spirit, you don't have to dress a certain way, not wear makeup, wear your hair a certain way - you are still you, you just have Jesus walking beside you. You wil know what is right from listening to the Holy Spirit. Your lifestyle will just show the Joy of the Lord in your life, you will change on the inside more than on the outside.

You will not enjoy your walk with the Lord if you concentrate so much on following all the different do's and don'ts in different churches. The walk with Jesus is a beautiful walk and one full of Joy, but the legalisms in churches will take all the Joy out of your walk. They spend so much time telling you what you can't do that they don't take time to tell you what God can do.

The Joy on your face that you show from walking with Jesus will bring more people to Jesus than all the legalism in the churches

I know I was raised in strict churches, no make up, no slacks, no movies, no TV, etc, etc - I did not enjoy my walk - I discovered the Spirit Filled life of walking side by side with Jesus and being led by the Holy Spirit and my life has not been the same- I threw down all religions and just have a beautiful walk with my Lord and Savior.

Just be yourself, but filled with the Holy Spirit and love your walk with Jesus.

 

[salida]

I'm thankful you care and not letting the culture brainwash you.
We represent Christ not the culture.
There is the family channels like hallmark and/or GMC for direct tv people.

1Co 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

 

[UnimaginablyHappy]

A wonderful change is occurring in your life. Don't get too involved with all the legalisms in different beliefs. Just lean on the leading of the Holy Spirit, you don't have to dress a certain way, not wear makeup, wear your hair a certain way - you are still you, you just have Jesus walking beside you. You wil know what is right from listening to the Holy Spirit. Your lifestyle will just show the Joy of the Lord in your life, you will change on the inside more than on the outside.

You will not enjoy your walk with the Lord if you concentrate so much on following all the different do's and don'ts in different churches. The walk with Jesus is a beautiful walk and one full of Joy, but the legalisms in churches will take all the Joy out of your walk. They spend so much time telling you what you can't do that they don't take time to tell you what God can do.

The Joy on your face that you show from walking with Jesus will bring more people to Jesus than all the legalism in the churches

I know I was raised in strict churches, no make up, no slacks, no movies, no TV, etc, etc - I did not enjoy my walk - I discovered the Spirit Filled life of walking side by side with Jesus and being led by the Holy Spirit and my life has not been the same- I threw down all religions and just have a beautiful walk with my Lord and Savior.

Just be yourself, but filled with the Holy Spirit and love your walk with Jesus.

Thank you for your response and help. Right now, I do not belong to a church because I don't quite believe in religion either and I think that is why I have been so misguided my whole life but I do believe in having strong faith. I just wanted to make sure that I was not doing anything that Jesus said not to do. I have always done these things and I just wanted to make sure to erase all distractions from my life so I too can walk sided by side with Jesus Christ.

 

[UnimaginablyHappy]

You have quite a system down! It sounds like you have been involved with a very conservative fellowship.

Most mainstream churches have no problem with makeup or hairstyles. People try to keep their spiritual focus on prayer, teachings, and helping others.

Your changes in dressing were sensible in many ways. For one, many people are tempted by revealing clothes, and this distracts them from what they're trying to focus on, ideally.

Also, you have heard of "dress for success." People make judgments about you based on how you appear. If you send a message that you take risks and use your body to influence people (whether you know you do or not), then you would not be a good choice to represent a spiritual group. If you have hopes of being on a worship team, becoming an elder, whatever... then make sure that people see clearly what is in your heart.

Maybe a few people will think that the hair changes are a sign of something. But I suspect it will just be catty competition, not real spiritual advice.

I wear all sorts of jewelry. I used to wear crosses more often, because I felt like you did that I wanted to sanctify my life for Jesus, and honor Him. But the reaction of people around me did not lead others toward Christ, as I hoped it would.

At the time, I was in high school and people saw it as being dressed by my parents. So I developed my own favorite ways to dress that didn't draw attention: either by looking too different and homely, or luring people toward temptation.

No cleavage and bellybuttons, good choice. But the faith is not about food and drink, what to wear. It is about God's spirit alive within us!

Thanks for your response! I've always been conservative in my dress code but when I came to college I just wanted to fit in with everyone else and that's when the arm baring and leg baring. My grandmother gave me a great scripture Romans 12:2 I believe "and do not be conformed to this world..." and that's exactly what I was doing. Thanks again for the reassurance.

 

[UnimaginablyHappy]

Welcome to the forums, first of all.

It's an individual decision on things such as hair and makeup. Sounds like you are doing what you feel is right and I congratulate you on that. For your hair question, I do not see straightening hair as being too vain personally, although some may not agree and that's fine.

Hello and thank you! It does seem like it's a personal choice. As long as I am not focused on my hair more than I am on God then I believe it is okay to straighten my hair to make it more manageable. Thanks again!

 

[Peripatetic]

You've gotten some good advice here already. I'll only add that looking good is just something to keep in balance. Not over-done, but don't go too far the other way either. For example, if you are going to a job interview, you wouldn't want to go in there with messy hair, no makeup, and baggy sweatpants.

As SharonL said, don't be legalistic and make a bunch of specific rules. You can make yourself look good with hair and makeup while still dressing conservatively. You were wise to stop making idols out of celebs and obsessing about your body image. Just do the best with what you have.

And welcome to CF!

 

[JasperJackson]

Speaking as one of your unmarried brothers in Christ thank you! Church should be the last place we should be tempted to lust yet unfortunately too often it occurs.

It's great that you're taking sin so seriously (including other people's), but just be careful you don't go too far and close yourself off from the world. After all, Jesus sought tax collectors and prostitutes, he didn't shy away from them.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I think the best advice so far has been to avoid the legalism issue. It is true that women in the church today dress way too provocatively. I can see the heads of men turn when certain women walk in, etc. It is distracting and does tempt others to lust.

Regarding hair and makeup. I assume you are referring to this passage:

1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—
1Pe 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

You have to read things in context. "Arranging the hair." Does this mean we are to just roll out of bed and "let it fly?" Obviously not. I think what is being referred to here was mainly a cultural issue, but it seems to be more and more of an issue today, as well. Big fancy hairdos. Spending $200 at the hair salon, etc. That is excessive and I think that would fall under this. But, if you read Peter's words it is an admonishment, not a command from God. Doing your hair isn't sin. I comb my hair before work. I use a little gel. Is that sin? Some churches would say yes. But, Paul's words here ring true in a situation like that:

1Co 7:23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.

Legalism. As has been said above, it will kill your joy and walk in the Spirit.

Regarding make-up... I don't see anything wrong with using make-up appropriately. My Pastor is fond of saying, "if the house needs painting, paint it."

The clothing issue is something to be concerned about, modest hairstyling and make-up are not.

That's my opinion.

 

[UnimaginablyHappy]

I think the best advice so far has been to avoid the legalism issue. It is true that women in the church today dress way too provocatively. I can see the heads of men turn when certain women walk in, etc. It is distracting and does tempt others to lust.

Regarding hair and makeup. I assume you are referring to this passage:

1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—
1Pe 3:4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

You have to read things in context. "Arranging the hair." Does this mean we are to just roll out of bed and "let it fly?" Obviously not. I think what is being referred to here was mainly a cultural issue, but it seems to be more and more of an issue today, as well. Big fancy hairdos. Spending $200 at the hair salon, etc. That is excessive and I think that would fall under this. But, if you read Peter's words it is an admonishment, not a command from God. Doing your hair isn't sin. I comb my hair before work. I use a little gel. Is that sin? Some churches would say yes. But, Paul's words here ring true in a situation like that:

1Co 7:23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.

Legalism. As has been said above, it will kill your joy and walk in the Spirit.

Regarding make-up... I don't see anything wrong with using make-up appropriately. My Pastor is fond of saying, "if the house needs painting, paint it."

The clothing issue is something to be concerned about, modest hairstyling and make-up are not.

That's my opinion.

I thought the bold was hilarious!
I wasn't planning on losing my femininity and just wake up and go but just concerned on the permanent straightening of my hair. Your post with the scriptures was very helpful thanks!

 

[heron]

The straightening could offend some people culturally, but it is so common these days I don't think it's a big deal. Hair grows out too, so "permanent" is not permanent.

 

[tturt]

OP - I'm so proud of you for taking these steps. This action in the natural is reflective of what's going on within. Just listening to Joni's program on Daystar and this was one of their topics.

Your OP reflects that you're very willing to discount what our culture promotes and go with what you believe the Lord desires. It's amazing how the Holy Spirit works with us, if we allow Him.

 

[heron]

Every time I read the title of your thread, I laugh... I imagine it's a guy who is asking about taking in females in moderation.

 

[Sketcher]

It's a good thing that you're willing to go to such lengths for the sake of the kingdom of God. Now, I personally think that avoiding makeup is taking it a bit far, and I don't think the hair one way or the other makes a difference. Now, Scripture does have a couple verses mentioning braided hair and jewelry, but it is not a prohibition of using them so much as de-emphasizing how important they should be to you. Your beauty is not to come from them - but that doesn't mean you can't wear them.

Let's look at the main Scripture pertaining to this:

"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." - 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Now, as much as I appreciate modesty directed to not making men like me stumble, that's not the first and foremost reason we have it. The context of this whole letter is church. A problem the church had was when women went to church, they would get jealous of each other because they were unofficially competing with each other over how nice they dressed. "Lucilla's got pearls? Well, I'm going to do my hair all nice and wear a new dress next week!" That's not the attitude anyone should have when meeting, worshiping, and praying together, and Paul said to stop it. He told the men to not argue amongst themselves and just pray in the preceding verse, and he gave further instructions for women in the next verse. So it is for you and other women around you more than it is about us.

Now, being modest as to not make the opposite sex stumble is good, that would fall under 1 Corinthians 8:9. I try to do that myself as much as I know to do it. But everybody has a different standard for what they find to be immodest, so I wouldn't insist that you try to keep up with all of them. You need to be reasonably modest. We need to be reasonably self-controlled. It's as simple as that.

 

[shinbits]

to unimaginably happy:

certain aspects of christianity change with the time. women were once required to "cover their heads" in church, but that's rarely done anymore. women in the ultra-conservative and ultra-religious 1800's wore long dresses that covered pretty much everything; now it's normal to see women with skirts in church.

since you seem like you're really into fashion, I'm sure you're fully conscience of what's socially acceptable for given venues, and I'm sure your common sense will guide you. if you want to look as nice as you can, go ahead, just make sure, as you already seem to be doing, that your looks don't become an idol.

besides, any guy in church already lives in a world where their female co-workers, classmates, family members and favorite tv or movie stars show some skin a regular basis. as long as you're not showing any more than most men are used to seeing from any other women around them, you should be fine.

 

[Johnnz]

We live in a world lavishly decorated by its Creator. Doesn't that tell us something about our approach to life - celebration and delight. We can overdo things, but drabness does not glorify God.

John
NZ

 

[andreha]

Every time I read the title of your thread, I laugh... I imagine it's a guy who is asking about taking in females in moderation.

That was my first thought.

 

[Nathaniel Ellis]

There are no rules to the way you dress. Paul does tell women not to braid there hair or wear jewelwry in church but this is because in hebrew culture braided hair and jewelwry meant you were a prostitute. so if you want to put what Paul was saying into dodays term. don't dress like a prostitute in church. lol. as a guy i think no clevage and no tummy and no spandex is a good guideline for not dressing like a prostitute. but there are no rules. personally makeup and the way a woman dresses does nothing for me. you can tell what a person is like by looking in her eyes. the most attractive thing a woman can do is pray. and that isn't done primarally in public. Man is the immage of God, and Woman is the immage of the bride of Christ. wich is the church. so don't let the enemy opres you with rules and don't present yourself to the world as a prostetute because you are the immage of the bride of Christ. plus i think curly hair is a thousand times better than straight hair. lol. the more crazy the better. but every guy is different. it all has to do with what kind of hair there moms had and weather they had a good relationship with there moms or not.

and read the New American Standard Bible. the message is satans translation.