Feels like I'm on God's ignore list.

[unlovable1]

I had read something like the title on a different thread and it really describes how I'm feeling. Most prayers for other people seem to be answered but the ones for myself never seem to be.

I really feel like it's easy for other people to have faith because it's so easy for them to meet that special person but anytime I pray for help with this, the answer always seems to be, "No", if the prayer's even being heard at all. Why can't I ever be good enough for anyone?

 

[unlovable1]

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[joey_downunder]

Forming relationships- even finding potential partners (!) - can take time and a lot of work. There is no promise that God will give us a husband/ wife if we pray hard enough or long enough.

What have you been doing on the practical level to increase your chances of meeting ''someone special''?

 

[unlovable1]

I've been joining different social groups and talking with a friend who suggested I re-try the online dating sites.

 

[unlovable1]

Also going to singles groups.

 

[cerette]

Hi, sorry to hear you feel unhappy about not finding that special someone. But please do not believe that you are on God's ignore list. God loves you and cares for you.

Perhaps if you tell a lil bit more about yourself I can think of some practical things that you might wanna try. (Your age, if you live in a city or are very isolated in the woods, if you're very shy and have a hard time talking to new people, or things like that)

Personally I can say that I felt that way too for a while, like it would never happen to me, but then it suddenly did. I also know of others with the same experience. It is hard to wait when you want something badly.

 

[unlovable1]

Hi, sorry to hear you feel unhappy about not finding that special someone. But please do not believe that you are on God's ignore list. God loves you and cares for you.

Perhaps if you tell a lil bit more about yourself I can think of some practical things that you might wanna try. (Your age, if you live in a city or are very isolated in the woods, if you're very shy and have a hard time talking to new people, or things like that)

Personally I can say that I felt that way too for a while, like it would never happen to me, but then it suddenly did. I also know of others with the same experience. It is hard to wait when you want something badly.

Hi. I'm 30. I live kind of near a city in an apartment. I do have a hard time talking to new people. It also seems like every time I try, I have to interrupt people to be allowed into the conversation or I'll be interrupted myself. I've been trying different groups and had tried online dating in the past, but the online dating was a disaster.

 

[opengate07]

God has someone for you and when you meet you will both know. Have you tried Singles group at church? Do not be discouraged.
Beautiful by MercyMe (Lyrics) - YouTube

 

[cerette]

Hi. I'm 30. I live kind of near a city in an apartment. I do have a hard time talking to new people. It also seems like every time I try, I have to interrupt people to be allowed into the conversation or I'll be interrupted myself. I've been trying different groups and had tried online dating in the past, but the online dating was a disaster.

Do you attend a church?
Do you have any hobbies?
Do you work?
I find it a bit hard to talk to new people too. I've noticed that it's easier after I've seen them a few times. So maybe you could go to a singles group or some other kind of a club (sports maybe?) a couple of times and not say much more than 'hello', and then after you've seen those people and are more used to them, it will be easier to have a longer conversation.

Why was the online dating a disaster?

Generally speaking I would also suggest that you don't approach girls with the hope in your mind that she might be the one. Desperation "shows" and is a turn-off. Try to get to know girls sort of just for them being the person she is, and not cuz she's a possible partner. Getting to know someone and building a relationship takes time and effort. You can't rush into things and think that it will happen the way it happens in romantic movies. That's not reality, that's fantasy.

What are your interests? Maybe you could join a club or organization doing that, and meet like minded people there.

 

[cerette]

Not to offend you, but I also just want to ask if you take care of your personal hygiene? It's not uncommon that people do not do that, and it leads to other people feeling uncomfortable. I've known 2 guys who skipped their daily showers quite often, and they smelled bad and had dirty hair. Yet they wondered why girls weren't interested in them...

 

[unlovable1]

Not to offend you, but I also just want to ask if you take care of your personal hygiene? It's not uncommon that people do not do that, and it leads to other people feeling uncomfortable. I've known 2 guys who skipped their daily showers quite often, and they smelled bad and had dirty hair. Yet they wondered why girls weren't interested in them...

Yes, I take care of my personal hygiene. Still trying different groups. When I first signed up, I was on match. I would express interest in people and they would express interest back and then immediately after they expressed interest back, delete their profile. I also had a Nigerian scammer there I was able to avoid giving money to. Eharmony had the option to tell a person you never wanted them to contact you again and I got that frequently. On Christian Mingle, eHarmony, and match, I would have people who would look at my profile and never say anything after I contacted them. Christian Mingle was also after I lost a ton of weight and it felt like they were saying I still wasn't good enough after all that work. I was usually getting 10 rejections a day on each site.

 

[cerette]

Sorry to hear you've had such negative experiences. Were you honest about your personality, looks and lifestyle in your presentation? Sometimes people give a false impression and that is irritating.
Maybe you were a bit too "pushy" and came across as desperate in your messages to women? It's smart to take it slow and easy, and not rush into things.

I would encourage you to first try and make friends, both men and women, try to enjoy your everyday life and hopefully start to feel better about yourself. When you have a more positive outlook on life and about yourself, I am sure it will show and perhaps you'll even gain more confidence when talking to new people. I would also encourage you to attend a good church and make Christian friends.
I see from your icon that you are Lutheran, so am I. If you PM me your location I will try to find you a good Lutheran Church, and maybe you could try it out?

What do you for a living and do you have people to hang out with?

 

[unlovable1]

I can't seem to pm from home so I will try to later. I'm between jobs right now and was originally focusing on that but when it got close to 6 months, I started lookingat singlesgroupsas well, the offline kind. I may have come acrossas moving a little fast, since I wantedto make sure these peopleare who they say they are. I also nevershouldhave admitted I likedvideogames sincethey apparentlyassumed I'd do that all day and nothing else. I'm hopingan assessment I took yesterdaywill lead to a job but at the same time, feel likeI'm goingto be unemployedfor the rest of my life. I do hang out with peoplebut got upset when one couplestarteddirty dancing and the woman sat on the man's lap sinceI felt enviousand kind of depressedand I had been promisedstuff like that wouldn't happen there.

 

[SharonL]

Your name of unlovable answers your question - If you feel that way - that comes across when talking to people. Just have patience - it's all in God's timing - don't know if you have ever heard the country/western song 'Thank God for unanswered prayer' - As you get older, you can look back on many things that we have prayed for and say - thank God for unanswered prayer.

The Bible tells us that God has a future for you, but it is all in God's planning.

 

[SkyeMist]

I do hang out with peoplebut got upset when one couplestarteddirty dancing and the woman sat on the man's lap sinceI felt enviousand kind of depressedand I had been promisedstuff like that wouldn't happen there.

It appears you are hanging out with the wrong singles group. If you want to meet a godly and modest woman, join a singles group at church including a singles group from other churches. Based on your likes and hobbies, I encourage you to join a club like a book club or walking club where you can meet other people who have the same interests.

Congratulations on losing lots of weight, continue in your daily regime of eating right and getting exercise. Don't give up on trying to get a job. In this tough economy, we have to apply for hundreds of jobs before we can get a job. Take up any job offer no matter how low paying it is, you can then take your time to look for another better paying job. Having a job will give you work experience and increase your self confidence. It will also keep you busy and not give you time to feel depressed. Women tend to be attracted to men who are employed and are stable.

 

[cerette]

It appears you are hanging out with the wrong singles group. If you want to meet a godly and modest woman, join a singles group at church including a singles group from other churches. Based on your likes and hobbies, I encourage you to join a club like a book club or walking club where you can meet other people who have the same interests.

Congratulations on losing lots of weight, continue in your daily regime of eating right and getting exercise. Don't give up on trying to get a job. In this tough economy, we have to apply for hundreds of jobs before we can get a job. Take up any job offer no matter how low paying it is, you can then take your time to look for another better paying job. Having a job will give you work experience and increase your self confidence. It will also keep you busy and not give you time to feel depressed. Women tend to be attracted to men who are employed and are stable.

Excellent advice!

 

[cerette]

Also, don't forget to pray.Not just about this issue, but everything.
Maybe this a good time to put a lot of focus on Bible study--you don't have a job or girlfriend distracting you. Use your time wisely.

 

[unlovable1]

I have been praying about this and the job issue but my last experience was with a temp company that says it has potential to turn into permanent but then keeps any form of stability with a permanent job just out of reach. I really do feel after looking for close to 8 months that I'll never have a steady, stable job again.

 

[cerette]

It's stressful not to have a stable job but lots of people are in that situation and for many it will work out..sometimes it takes a long time tho.

Here are some encouraging words from Matthew 6:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 

[Logan Musil]

Hi Unlovable1,
Your post struck a chord in me. I’d like to invite you to the thread I started – ‘From Shame to Infinite Worth.’
Blessings,
Logan Musil