Feeling rejected and like I have no friends

[HopingForJesus]

I feel like my supposed best friend has been avoiding me lately. I only get to chat with her via text on the phone and she says she is doing fine and when I expressed my concerns wondering if she was mad at me she said no awhile back. She basically hardly hangs out with me anymore. I don't feel like confronting her about this but am starting to feel more hurt. This is compounded by the fact that two of my "church friends"have not returned phone calls and I am starting to feel really rejected. I could have went to church today but I did not because I am doubting my acceptance. I don't go that often even though we are members sometimes because of hubby's working hours or gas money, or just me being depressed. I am depressed more today and have been fighting in and out of a funk for weeks now. I really want to make new friends that are Christian and female (because I am married) that I could just talk to or hang out with once in awhile. But, I feel like completely shutting myself off from the world. I feel like "why bother" when it is too hard to find a real friend nowadays anyhow and my best friend of over 20 years is acting weird. At least I have my husband , but he is quiet and is not home much. I know God is supposed to be enough, but I am still lonely and a bit bitter which I have been asking God to remove from my heart. Sigh...

 

[edwardfsmith]

I know those feeling you have described. L

If you enjoy going to church you need to find a way to get there. Can you ride with anyone? Doing something usually helps these feelings.

If you have social anxiety like I do finding a real friend is very hard like you have said….
I am not sure they exist any more with everything being on the internet.
but then again you have found a husband. So I guess maybe it is possible?

It does seem it is normal to at times feel like being around other people… even if we are social anxious or depressed.

 

[HopingForJesus]

Thank you for your kindness Edward. I feel like I have to stuff my feelings down deep inside and swallow them and it is making me crazy. Hopefully next weekend I will make it to church. I just wish I knew what was going on with the people I love and care about. It makes it hard when you are like this and you reach out and feel like you are getting nowhere. May you find comfort and friendship as well if you are in need. HUGS

 

[edwardfsmith]

Well THANK YOU!

That is a good part of the internet, letting those felling out!

I know how much it hurts to not know what is going on with the people that you love and care about. Maybe it is nothing at all, maybe they have something personal going on in their lives. Even if this is so, it hurts to not be included in a friend’s life!
The feeling of being connected to others is very important.
With me I am not even include in my families life, so I know the feelings.

a big hug to you

 

[1Prophetess]

You know, you probably are feeling lonely because the Lord has someone that needs you. Does your church have any small groups you could attend? If not, is there a group of women that gets together to do something you enjoy--knitting, rubber stamps, animals, or ???

Join a group. There's a Christian friend out there that needs you!

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

It is very hard feeling this way. Is there anyone who could give you a ride to church on days your husband works? Small groups were mentioned, a great idea. Being lonely is a horrible feeling. I have not had any friends for close to 8 years and now making them at church and that is very strange to me.


I would spend time in prayer about this. See who God is leading you to in regards to friendship. It is hard when we have a friend for that long then they start to distance themselves. Could something be going on in her life that she hasn't mentioned?

Could you be very straight forward with her and let her know exactly how you are feeling about all of this?

 

[someguy14]

I feel like I have to stuff my feelings down deep inside and swallow them and it is making me crazy.

Hi HopingForJesus.

You can talk to God, when your alone. He hears us.
You just say, God, Today I went through this...
I feel...this way about it.
It is really bothering me or I am very glad that...
Thank You God for helping me to understand and understanding me like no other can.

1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

God bless.

 

[aflower4God]

(((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))0 I know how you feel my dear sweet loving sister. Sometimes my only offline friend can be distant to me and I feel very lonely cause of it. I have a VERY hard time making friends as well because of my social phobia. I just want you to know that you do have a friend in me and if you ever want to PM me just know that I am here for you my dear sweet loving sister. I PRAY with all my heart that your best friend of 20 years will start hanging out with you again. Hopefully she will start talking to you more, cause you are a DEAR sweet loving sister i Christ. ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

[Winter]

I feel like my supposed best friend has been avoiding me lately. I only get to chat with her via text on the phone and she says she is doing fine and when I expressed my concerns wondering if she was mad at me she said no awhile back. She basically hardly hangs out with me anymore. I don't feel like confronting her about this but am starting to feel more hurt. This is compounded by the fact that two of my "church friends"have not returned phone calls and I am starting to feel really rejected. I could have went to church today but I did not because I am doubting my acceptance. I don't go that often even though we are members sometimes because of hubby's working hours or gas money, or just me being depressed. I am depressed more today and have been fighting in and out of a funk for weeks now. I really want to make new friends that are Christian and female (because I am married) that I could just talk to or hang out with once in awhile. But, I feel like completely shutting myself off from the world. I feel like "why bother" when it is too hard to find a real friend nowadays anyhow and my best friend of over 20 years is acting weird. At least I have my husband , but he is quiet and is not home much. I know God is supposed to be enough, but I am still lonely and a bit bitter which I have been asking God to remove from my heart. Sigh...

I'm sorry you feel so lonely HPJ. I understand how you feel. Consider this a time to tend to yourself. Perhaps the Lord would like you to go through a period of solitude for reflection. Sometimes the Lord pulls others or pulls ourselves away from the world so that we can look within and tend to our hurting selves. Then when we recognize what we need, the Lord opens the door to the world and someone steps in with a helping hand. Perhaps there is a friend you've yet to meet, but the timing isn't just here yet.

One thing I've learned is that sometimes we need to be our own best friend in order to heal. ((hugs))

Also, with Advent just starting this is a great time to anticipate the Lord coming into our hearts, our lives, and our homes. The Light of the World, our Lord Jesus Christ, will be arriving soon to illuminate us during this dark cold lonely season. God bless you. Praying for you ......

 

[Winter]

By the way, yesterday I was distracted at Mass because there were 3 women chattering throughout the whole service and one of them was wearing this agonizing smelly perfume. And then I thought, "look, I'm not here for them. I'm here for Christ." So the next time you feel anxious about going to church, just tell yourself its not about them - its about Jesus. You're there for Him. Don't let your experience at church be dependent upon others. Its going to be alright.

 

[Forge3]

Confusion at why your friends are so aloof with you. Than you internalize this thinking there is something about you that is causing this. So the desire to shut yourself in to not risk what feels like rejection again. And also that it might validate that it is about you. I understand this. I wouldn't advise blaming yourself in any way because of what others are doing.

You are thoughtful and sensitive. Good qualities. You mentioned God should be enough. Well at the same time the church Ecclesia means community, fellowship. So the desire to be with others is God given in us. Place everything before God. Let Him guide you and fill you with His grace. Do not stay away from worship if you are concerned about others being aloof with you. Go for God and be centered in Him. God leads people to us and us to them. I have experienced this in the most wonderful ways.

 

[Chococat]

I feel like my supposed best friend has been avoiding me lately. I only get to chat with her via text on the phone and she says she is doing fine and when I expressed my concerns wondering if she was mad at me she said no awhile back. She basically hardly hangs out with me anymore. I don't feel like confronting her about this but am starting to feel more hurt. This is compounded by the fact that two of my "church friends"have not returned phone calls and I am starting to feel really rejected. I could have went to church today but I did not because I am doubting my acceptance. I don't go that often even though we are members sometimes because of hubby's working hours or gas money, or just me being depressed. I am depressed more today and have been fighting in and out of a funk for weeks now. I really want to make new friends that are Christian and female (because I am married) that I could just talk to or hang out with once in awhile. But, I feel like completely shutting myself off from the world. I feel like "why bother" when it is too hard to find a real friend nowadays anyhow and my best friend of over 20 years is acting weird. At least I have my husband , but he is quiet and is not home much. I know God is supposed to be enough, but I am still lonely and a bit bitter which I have been asking God to remove from my heart. Sigh...

I can so relate to how you feel as I've been in that situation myself and still feel that way sometimes as my 2 closest friends often leave me out a bit as they have more in common with each other than with me, both having families while I don't. I do have one single friend but she lives a long way away from me so I don't see her as often as I'd like to. I'm praying the Lord will find me a single friend, preferably Christian though not necessarily so closer to home. I don't really know what to advise except to still go to church whenever you can and remember God accepts you just as you are.

 

[edwardfsmith]

I think it is very easy for everyone to underestimate the valuable gift they give when they share their life with another person and make a human connection.
The listening to another and the opportunity to be heard has so much value.
If this was not a fundamental need for most people, then this board and most of the internet would not exist like it does today.
I know personally I am much less depressed and much more open to Christ and what he is telling me when I feel like I am part of the human race and am accepted by others.
And when I feel connected I am much more able to take to time to reflect and get a positive message from my thoughts.
When I feel rejected by all others and that I am not meant for this world I feel very depressed. I still turn to Christ for strength and to get me through, but life becomes filled with sorrow and a struggle. I am not able to reflect as well and get anything positive out of it.

I know for many of us we do not want to share our sorrows with others in real life. Only the joy. I am not sure about this. I think when we follow this path and break the connection because there is sorrow or hard times in our life, we are doing more harm than to just share the sorrow.

 

[HopingForJesus]

Everyone here has been so kind and supportive. I appreciate all your advice. Eventually, I would like to get involved in some small group studies or women's groups. I am not sure what the church we go to now has anymore because it has changed a lot and has been awhile. I am going to try to keep Christ my focus so I do not stay away from church nexttime. It is really important to be there for others and I would like to be in a position to do so. I am not sure what God has Thank you again for sharing everyone. God bless you.

 

[anaunJq]

Maybe its the type of people GOD may not want you to be around maybe try to find friends at church or go help out at a helping center as a volunteer you will find alot of friends but just be wise when it comes to finding friends because you never know what their true intentions of you so be careful who you want as friends plz

 

[Forge3]

Everyone here has been so kind and supportive. I appreciate all your advice. Eventually, I would like to get involved in some small group studies or women's groups. I am not sure what the church we go to now has anymore because it has changed a lot and has been awhile. I am going to try to keep Christ my focus so I do not stay away from church nexttime. It is really important to be there for others and I would like to be in a position to do so. I am not sure what God has Thank you again for sharing everyone. God bless you.

You're welcome. Glad this helped.