Feeling misunderstood with some at church

[Faithfulandtrue]

Anyone else get irritated with the phrase pity party, when discussing with someone what your going through. I've been going through allot of emotions, mental health issues and feeling run down. Two people from church yesterday asked how i was doing so i told them honestly how i was doing. One used the phrase pity party and the other said "that's just life" both made me feel stupid and misunderstood. Maybe I am having a pity party. And no duh that's life sometimes. But I feel like people are so used to me being this fake put a smile on and help everyone else, that if i dare be honest, then I need to do more to help others. I'm burnt out and need help this time from others in my life. Can Anyone else here relate to how i feel?

 

[Unqualified]

I can relate. You are depressed. Maybe after church you could go home and sleep to help this run down feeling. Whenever I got depressed I would run to a psychiatrist, get meds, and talk it out. It helped. But I don’t talk to people about it. I don’t want them to know. That is why because they don’t understand. Your are probably experiencing life just the way it is like she said. But it has got you down for some reason. Are you reading your Bible and praying about it?

 

[Unqualified]

Anyone else get irritated with the phrase pity party, when discussing with someone what your going through. I've been going through allot of emotions, mental health issues and feeling run down. Two people from church yesterday asked how i was doing so i told them honestly how i was doing. One used the phrase pity party and the other said "that's just life" both made me feel stupid and misunderstood. Maybe I am having a pity party. And no duh that's life sometimes. But I feel like people are so used to me being this fake put a smile on and help everyone else, that if i dare be honest, then I need to do more to help others. I'm burnt out and need help this time from others in my life. Can Anyone else here relate to how i feel?

I did meet one guy who would talk to me about everything and love me and help. When I was just like you. He helped immensely. Then I started getting better for awhile till sin got me again. But those days are not as important to me anymore. I’m feeling better and living with my affliction much better.

 

[Kale100]

Some people haven't had difficulties in their life that would equip them to fully empathize with people who are dealing with such difficulties.
I think it's best just to give people the benefit of the doubt by chocking it up to something like that.

 

[Diamond72]

Can Anyone else here relate to how i feel?

Everyone can relate to how you feel. People want us to be positive to help them feel better. We are to put on the mind of Christ. We are to have the Divine thoughts of God. Ever hear the story about the man who cried because he had no shoes and then he met a man who had no feet? We are to count our blessing and give thanks to God. If we grumble and complain with God we are in big trouble.

 

[Kale100]

Everyone can relate to how you feel. People want us to be positive to help them feel better. We are to put on the mind of Christ. We are to have the Divine thoughts of God. Ever hear the story about the man who cried because he had no shoes and then he met a man who had no feet? We are to count our blessing and give thanks to God. If we grumble and complain with God we are in big trouble.

There's a time to laugh and a time to cry right? I don't recall there being a time to tell someone else to suck it up.
Of course you count your blessings and give thanks, but imagine the wound is physical rather than mental?
'How are you feeling?'
'Well my leg just got cut off, it's bleeding pretty good.'
'Well that's life.'

 

[Diamond72]

I don't recall there being a time to tell someone else to suck it up.

We are told to count our blessings and give thanks to Jesus. We are happy when we think happy thoughts and sad when we think sad thoughts. We need to take every thought captive to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ".

 

[Unqualified]

why don’t one of you girls take her under your wing and talk to her regularly @Kale100 and help her with her understanding in Christ. She needs support, a positive influence, a friend.

 

[Diamond72]

She needs support, a positive influence, a friend.

A lot of times we want to tell people what they need to do. But what we should be doing is helping them with prayer and encouragement. In the Bible, there was an employer, mother & friends who interceded for people to help them receive what they wanted and needed from God.

The Bible talks about two or more in agreement. "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:19-20, NIV)

 

[Diamond72]

I don't recall there being a time to tell someone else to suck it up.

No one is telling anyone to suck it up. We are trying to show them how to deal with adversity in life. Even my father was a medical doctor and lot of what he prescribed was positive thinking and having a good mental attitude.

 

[Kale100]

No one is telling anyone to suck it up. We are trying to show them how to deal with adversity in life. Even my father was a medical doctor and lot of what he prescribed was positive thinking and having a good mental attitude.

I think you mean well and have sound advice, but, that you are missing a crucial initial step. I'm not sure how quite to put it in words, but there's element of empathizing and establishing trust. If someone is opening up, reciprocate, show them you're human, that your advice comes from understanding their trouble and that the advice has helped you personally.

 

[Kale100]

why don’t one of you girls take her under your wing and talk to her regularly @Kale100 and help her with her understanding in Christ. She needs support, a positive influence, a friend.

@Faithfulandtrue - is that something you would be interested in?

 

[eleos1954]

Anyone else get irritated with the phrase pity party, when discussing with someone what your going through. I've been going through allot of emotions, mental health issues and feeling run down. Two people from church yesterday asked how i was doing so i told them honestly how i was doing. One used the phrase pity party and the other said "that's just life" both made me feel stupid and misunderstood. Maybe I am having a pity party. And no duh that's life sometimes. But I feel like people are so used to me being this fake put a smile on and help everyone else, that if i dare be honest, then I need to do more to help others. I'm burnt out and need help this time from others in my life. Can Anyone else here relate to how i feel?

We all go through emotional times .... we should pray for one another. Nobody can really understand what another one is going through.

Perhaps when one inquires on "how are you" ... just say ... am experiencing difficult times right now, please pray for me.

 

[Diamond72]

I think you mean well and have sound advice, but, that you are missing a crucial initial step. I'm not sure how quite to put it in words, but there's element of empathizing and establishing trust. If someone is opening up, reciprocate, show them you're human, that your advice comes from understanding their trouble and that the advice has helped you personally.

Life is to much a cold hard reality for me. You bite the bullet and deal with the pain as best you can. Esp when doctors want to cut on people with a knife. The Bible says: who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:4

Have they every had to shock you to get your heart going again? Even once? Maybe you are right though. If I had more empathy maybe I would not be dealing with the issues I have to deal with.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Sometimes people don't understand, or they may understand but not know exactly what to say. Or, they stick their foot in their mouth saying something totally unhelpful.

I am reminded of a quote by Rev. Nadia Boltz Weber who welcomed folks to her congregation, saying, "We are the church and we will disappoint you." Her point being the church is full of fallible creatures trying to do their best but sometimes failing miserably in their attempt. It is one of my favorite quotes about the church that I try to remember, especially when expecting more from fellow parishioners than they seem to be doing.

Take heart that it says more about them than about you.

 

[Sally77]

Anyone else get irritated with the phrase pity party, when discussing with someone what your going through. I've been going through allot of emotions, mental health issues and feeling run down. Two people from church yesterday asked how i was doing so i told them honestly how i was doing. One used the phrase pity party and the other said "that's just life" both made me feel stupid and misunderstood. Maybe I am having a pity party. And no duh that's life sometimes. But I feel like people are so used to me being this fake put a smile on and help everyone else, that if i dare be honest, then I need to do more to help others. I'm burnt out and need help this time from others in my life. Can Anyone else here relate to how i feel?

Hi! I hope by this point you are doing better. I totally get where you are coming from. At my job I feel like I have to force a smile. Sometimes it feels like everyone else is allowed to have a tough time, but the moment I express my issues, I get the eye rolls and side-eye. I don't fit in at work, and work bullying has me depressed. I'm tired of walking on egg shells to make sure I offend nobody. Home life is a struggle too.
I get you, and God gets you too. Sometimes when I ran out of people to trust, God has been the one there for me to talk to. Spiritual warfare has been insane lately. It seems that way for alot of people too. Please hang in there. I know out afflictions are for the purpose of trying our faiths. God says rejoice in these circumstances. Hang in there, God has plans for you. He is making you stronger in a certain area. The enemy knows it and is throwing fiery darts your way. Keep praying especially when you feel hopeless. You will overcome the trial in Jesus' name! Hang in there. Hope you feel better.