Feeling loved

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

He tells me he loves me, and when he is w/ me he gives me hugs, and we get to spend time together. I put up the 5 love languages poll, and mine were Physical touch and quality time. I don't need quality time always w/ him, but even w/ the opportunity to talk on the phone, or some other way, he would rather not many times. I think his are physical touch and words of affirmation, and I really do my best to do things along those lines to make him feel loved, but he doesn't seem to go out of his way to do any of the things to make me feel loved. What should I do? Don't tell me to break up w/ him. I don't want to. I did email him and tell him this so we will see what happens.

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

My girlfriend spoke to me about that similar issue. The best thing to do is just sit down and speak with him about it openly. That honestly is the ONLY thing to do. Don't try hints. Guys are brain-dead when it comes to stuff like that and, generally, hate it anyway. Lay it out for him.

Also, unless the situation is not possible, try and avoid E-mailing problems. It's way too easy to just E-mail him your issues. If you can, just wait untill you're either on the phone again, or face to face. It is more difficult I know, but trust me, it IS better.

Don't worry, I certainly don't see any reason to break up in what you've said. lol That's nothin' compared to the things my girlfriend have learned to overcome! haha.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

we ended up talking online and going over the emails on IM together. He said he understands better now. Thanks for the advice. Oh and as far as the breaking up thing, I just didn't want anyone to bother suggesting it cuz it isn't going to happen

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

That's really great. Messenger works too... the main point I always try to make is to never be afraid to just talk things out. I'm glad to hear he understood your side of it. So many times I've been doing (or usually not doing) things that I never even thought about, and she brings it to my attention. And it isn't in a nagging way at all, or even that frequently! And I do the same with her.

And I know people mean no harm, but do what you know is the right thing to do. God will speak to your heart and let you know exactaly when to bail out if things get rough. I am quite sure that many people would have told my girlfriend to break up many times with the stupid things I've said, not said, done, and not done! haha. But, I'm glad she hasn't.

 

[MrsSeptemberPenguin]

Oh, and I generally email him when I can't talk to him, and don't know when I'm going to get to. He can be pretty bad about the whole communication thing.He's good most of the time, but he generally doesn't get the emails until I've already talked to him. I tell him I emailed him and then he'll have me just tell him.We get chances to talk on the phone but many times it's only for about 10 min or so.

 

[Inperfected]

Hmm... It's a part of relationships... I still struggle to show him i love him, particually now, that we are seeing our one/two major ones, AREN'T the same... ie serving? i don't care really... but he'll do that to show he loves me So just go with the flow, and try to work out those kinda issues before they become a major prob. You seem to have it set
Well done!

 

[koban4max]

He tells me he loves me, and when he is w/ me he gives me hugs, and we get to spend time together. I put up the 5 love languages poll, and mine were Physical touch and quality time. I don't need quality time always w/ him, but even w/ the opportunity to talk on the phone, or some other way, he would rather not many times. I think his are physical touch and words of affirmation, and I really do my best to do things along those lines to make him feel loved, but he doesn't seem to go out of his way to do any of the things to make me feel loved. What should I do? Don't tell me to break up w/ him. I don't want to. I did email him and tell him this so we will see what happens.

Just tell him that you are nothing getting any love. Tell him action speaks a boombox than words.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I agree that telling him face to face would be a good idea.

I also think you should mention some specific things he could do that would make you feel loved. Tell him that time together means a lot to you, and you need it to feel loved...and when you don't get enough of it, it is hard for you to feel loved. Suggest some things you could do together, like going to the beach.

 

[loved]

He tells me he loves me, and when he is w/ me he gives me hugs, and we get to spend time together. I put up the 5 love languages poll, and mine were Physical touch and quality time. I don't need quality time always w/ him, but even w/ the opportunity to talk on the phone, or some other way, he would rather not many times. I think his are physical touch and words of affirmation, and I really do my best to do things along those lines to make him feel loved, but he doesn't seem to go out of his way to do any of the things to make me feel loved. What should I do? Don't tell me to break up w/ him. I don't want to. I did email him and tell him this so we will see what happens.

My so is like that,lol, the ammount of times when I've got upset with him because of it is unreal.

He just doesn't know how to show his feelings because he hasn't had to before.

They key is, to feel comfortable with yourself, laccept yourself, and then you'll feel loved no matter what.

 

[f U z ! o N]

this happend with me and my girlfriend. i was doing all kinds of things for her but not understanding her love language. when i realized it was quality time and acts of service i work my butt off trying to give her love in her love languages.